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Speaking of fat shaming


salex

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Posted

If people don't like the way obese people look, find something else to look at. It's that simple. Nobody should think for one second that obese people aren't aware of how they look or understand how obesity affects one's health. I should know, I am obese.

Posted

i know there is a language barrier, but I can understand what oil and others are saying. it sounds a lot like, "i support abortion, but i would never get one myself." Or, for an example with less choice involved, "i support government programs, but i would have a difficult time accepting welfare for myself." most people do hold themselves to higher standards than they do the general public. Most other situations, "cool, but not for me" isn't countered so harshly.

Posted

I've lost close to 20 pounds in the last two years due to a medical issue, and it drives me crazy how many friends and family are constantly complimenting me on how thin I am now. Dudes, it's because I usually don't have the appetite to eat more than once a day, not because I've discovered some dieting secret! Sometimes I joke that the new svelteness is the only good thing to come of the illness, but honestly, I loved my old curvy figure.

Posted

It's funny how you get more praise by losing weight, than if you would have stayed your original weight. As if being yourself isn't praise worthy :/

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Oh I fogot to ask you did you say this "GUESS WHAT? NOBODY CARES! Nobody cares what you think about her body!" to all the people who trash talk Josh Duggar's body, how fat he is, what a slob he is, and more and more? Do you not see that as "hateful"? And did you tell those posters "Just stop talking about this. Stop." like you command to me? Just wondering.

You keep saying you're going to stop talking about this, but you don't.

I don't read the Josh Duggar threads, so I don't know what people say there.

The amount of energy you are investing in trying to get others here to agree that it's okay for you to insult strangers' bodies is startling to me.

Posted

You keep saying you're going to stop talking about this, but you don't.

I don't read the Josh Duggar threads, so I don't know what people say there.

The amount of energy you are investing in trying to get others here to agree that it's okay for you to insult strangers' bodies is startling to me.

I don't see oil trying to get people to agree with her. Explain, understand maybe. But by you constantly telling her to STOP TALKING it appears to me you wish everybody to agree with yours. It's fine to disagree but just because you do not like it is no reason to tell somebody to stop talking. In my view.

Posted

I have to say what bothers me the most is the fat shaming amongst actual fat people. There have been many women and men in my family that thought it perfectly acceptable to talk about how they were overweight, but if they were ever "that fat" they would just shot themselves (usually pointing to an example in the store/wherever we were). I see it everywhere, people who think they're better than others because they're only a size 16 or 18 as opposed to a 24+.

I get so sick of listening to people talk about diets, workouts, and how much they hate some body part. Especially when whatever they are doing to starve themselves is incredibly unhealthy.

On the above issue, I will admit that it's bothered me the way people have talked about Josh Duggar and his weight. Yeah, he gained weight, no doubt about it, but contrary to the bogus BMI score he was not obese. Was he unhealthy, um yeah, but so is every member of the Duggar clan. I worry about their health, not their weight, since weight often has little to nothing to do with health. And honestly, who cares of he packed on 100 pounds or so even? Of all the issues purple have with him, fat should be the least of their worries.

Posted

I was pretty slim through high school - except for my giant, natural breasts. Which, coupled with my school's "dress code" made me appear as though I was overweight. Once I left that school, my senior year, I was able to wear clothes that were actually flattering to my body, and I was put in a school where there was actual economic diversity. Turns out, people like young women with c cups, 26 inch waist, 5'3, and strawberry blonde hair. I wore heels every day to "balance" my weight, because I thought that at 120 lbs (mostly muscle) I was overweight. Eventually I slimmed down to 98lbs and I loved that I could fit into small tops as well as the small/xs/0 size pants. I got a lot of attention from guys, but it was, honestly, really annoying. I wasn't prepared for it, I didn't like that 99.9% of the men giving me attention were not interested in anything other than "getting into my pants." and I found that the guys I did want to be around would normally dismiss me as not very intelligent because of my appearance.

After/because of a long series of unfortunate events, I started up gaining weight when I hit 24, that slowly blossomed up to 186 (all time high) a few years ago. I hated it and I hated myself. I was physically uncomfortable all the time.

Honestly? At first I didn't mind being overweight. Even at 19 years old, 120 lbs, I was once called "fat" to my face by a guy i was pushed into at a very crowed party. I knew I wasn't fat, I knew that I had purposely wore an oversized sweatshirt to a party because I didn't want to be there in the first place, and I knew that guy was an idiot. Really? Calling someone "fat" when they aren't is the "Go to" insult? Why is that?

For a long time, I didn't mind it. Being overweight meant I could go to the store and not have to engage in small talk. It meant that I could shopping for clothes and not have the salespeople bothering me every two seconds. It meant I can go to a bar and have fun with my friends without causing drama. It means that I can get a job on my merits, not because the boss wants to sleep with me.

However, I don't like the weight I'm at now. For me, I know that my weight gain IS a result of sedentary behavior, poor diet, poor impulse control, and an attitude of 'it doesn't matter, no one will love me either way.' I don't say this to get pity. I'm currently losing weight by making changes in my lifestyle, getting back to the person I was before the weight gain.

So my perspective is that people will judge your body regardless of size. If you are thin, someone will still call you fat. If you are fat, they will call you fat. If you are walking on the side of the road, regardless of weight, people will throw stuff, try to hit you with a puddle, yell dumb, insulting things at you. It's not just reserved for those people who are overweight.

I also think that different people have different "limits" to what they can handle. Some people are genetically larger. Some people are happy to sit at home and watch tv/read the internet/knit. Those are not things that are my first choice (except internet, I love internet). And because I like to be active, I know that I need to be smaller. It's easier for me to lose a few pounds from my body than to not carry a sleeping bag or tent into the wilderness.

TL/DR: I've been thin, I've been fat. Both have advantages and disadvantages. I believe that fat shaming exists, but I think some of the examples I've seen of "fat shaming" happen to people regardless of size.

Posted

Said classification decided by insurance companies in order to maximize profits and then decreased from even that ridiculous standard, a measure meant for populations and not for individuals to begin with, for no medical or health reason, in 1997. Millions of people went to bed normal weight and woke up "overweight". So no, 2/3 of the US adult population is NOT overweight or obese by any reasonable standard. Weights and heights have both increased some due to better nutrition, but no one's complaining about a height epidemic. If there are more fat people now, and it's impossible to judge due to the ever decreasing standards applied, at least some is due to over-feeding infants (easier to do with bottles), the increased incidence of numerous disorders which cause weight gain (ie hypothryoidism and PCOS) amoung numerous others.

The actual science has shown repeatedly that if you're going just by weight, the "healthiest" weight category is the "overweight" one, although obviously there are healthy people in every weight range.

Yeah, I'm a size 6 and at the lower end of the "overweight" category. My weight has fluctuated within 20 pounds over the past couple of years, but I only lost weight when I lost my appetite due to depression and anxiety and gained it back when my appetite returned to normal. So now I'm focusing less on the number on the scale and more on trying to stay active and fit and eat reasonably healthily (which I'm not great at, having a major sweet tooth).

So yeah, I'm definitely not saying that obesity is healthy, but screw the BMI. Why is it so hard for our society to focus on healthy behaviors rather than body size/number on a scale.

Posted

Yeah, I'm a size 6 and at the lower end of the "overweight" category. My weight has fluctuated within 20 pounds over the past couple of years, but I only lost weight when I lost my appetite due to depression and anxiety and gained it back when my appetite returned to normal. So now I'm focusing less on the number on the scale and more on trying to stay active and fit and eat reasonably healthily (which I'm not great at, having a major sweet tooth).

So yeah, I'm definitely not saying that obesity is healthy, but screw the BMI. Why is it so hard for our society to focus on healthy behaviors rather than body size/number on a scale.

This. While obesity does lead to health problems, the BMI thing is often flawed as it doesn't take into account healthy behaviors as there are plenty of people who are technically overweight or even borderline obese, but they eat healthy, and get plenty of exercise. I think healthy behaviors should be the focus, as sometimes people who might look thin are the ones dying from a massive heart attack, or getting the same type of cancer that killed their parent and grandparent. I'm thinking of Angelina Jolie right now who had preventive surgery to reduce her risk of cancer, as she has the gene, plus half of her family has died from it.

Posted
I've lost close to 20 pounds in the last two years due to a medical issue, and it drives me crazy how many friends and family are constantly complimenting me on how thin I am now.

Understood. I developed pneumonia a few years ago, and the Augmentin made me vomit, develope terrible stomach cramps, and finally constant diahrreha. At first my doctor wanted me to keep on the drug until I became dehydrated. Finally I was switched to sulpher, which did the trick.

I called my mother and was telling her about the hell that the past week had been, and how I couldn't keep anything down. She excitedly replied "Did you lose any weight"? Yes, the fat woman wants to know how being overweight means her suffering might have made her more socially acceptable to her petite mother. Thanks.

Yeah, I'm a size 6 and at the lower end of the "overweight" category.

A size 6 is the lower end of the overweight category? Well, that just sucks for me then.

Posted

Flossie, your mum should be ashamed of herself. I hope your health is OK now. My ex BF got pneumonia too - due to not having a fixed abode and having to kip on friends' floors - and frankly my only concern was that he had enough clothes/food and a warm bed to sleep in on his release from A & E! Just the other day, I heard a woman at my work saying she "wished she was anorexic", and I felt like slapping her. She's not even fat, but even if she was, I bet if she knew about real hunger/suffering, she'd STFU pretty fucking quickly!

Posted
I lost about 10 kilos and only then did I find out how much who we are is defined in the mind of others by what we weigh.

It truly shocked me. I never felt people were thinking about my weight when there were 1o more kilos clinging to my body - but now people constantly come up to me and compliment me on having lost weight. Colleagues I meet once a month in the corridor did not think it was strange to walk up to a virtual stranger and congratulating me on losing weight. People whose names I don't even know have found it appropriate to walk up to me and discuss my weight loss with me.

It is pretty uncomfortable and awful for me because I wonder what people's reaction would be if I put on another 10 kilos. Apparently, they will not come up to me and tell me "boy are you fat" (they didn't last time), but they will notice and definitely think about it and discuss it among themselves.

So I'd feel more comfortable if people didn't discuss weight issues with someone even if they only want to be nice. Weight is such a personal body thing, just like internal organs, diseases and so on, and would you walk up to somebody and say "Oh by the way, how is your liver doing?" As a kid I was taught this is bad manners, and I still think it is.

BTW, another way to ruin a formerly overweight person's day is this:

You are really thin.

You walk up to the formerly overweight person and say "Wow, you lost so much weight, how did you do it?"

The F.O.P. tells you.

You say: "Oh, I am SO FAT, I need to lose some weight too." (Ideally, at that moment, you take out a chocolate chip cookie or some such and start hovering it up.)

The F. O. P. will tell you "Come on, you aren't overweight at all, you are really thin."

At this point, you pull down your trousers (not completely, thank godess), pull up your pullover and grab any tiny bits of fat shaping your tiny tummy with both hands, literally shoving them up towards the other person's face and say, disgustedly: "Oh, look. I'm FAT."

Then look slightly guilty and slightly triumphantly at the F. O. P.'s still slightly larger tummy and eat some more of your cookie.

The F. O. P. will appreciate being shown your tummy NO END. :disgust:

So if ever you come across someone who's lost weight, don't mention their weight UNLESS THEY TALK ABOUT IT FIRST.

Thank you.

Also, not asking the bolded (frankly invasive) question will save you the embarrassment of being told, "How did I get so thin? I seem to have gotten a wee bit of cancer."

I lost an aunt to colon cancer. The first symptom was that she started losing weight easily, for the first time in her life. Her doctor told her, "Keep up the great work." If he had said, "This kind of weight loss isn't normal for your body. Maybe we should run some tests," she might have lived to enjoy retirement.

Posted

Ugh, Augmentin is crappy. (Pun intended)

I got diarrhea on it too, and I won't take it ever again.

Posted

One thing I thought was interesting about Oil's post was her talk of "the body that I want." I think this is actually what's problematic about our culture with regards to body image -- that it's about "getting the body you want" instead of treating the body you have right through diet and exercise.

It's not like we really get to choose our bodies anyway. Within a given range, one's body has a "set weight" that is healthy for us. Yes, one can gain or lose weight, tone/build muscle, etc. But minus plastic surgery, you can't radically change the body type you were given.

For instance, my D cup would only be an A cup if I had reduction surgery. I'll never have a "model's body" because I'm 5'1". Even when I was thinner, I have always carried my weight in my stomach, and no amount of crunches has ever given me flat abs yet.

And while women have faced the bulk of the pressure to conform their bodies to completely unrealistic standards, I feel it is falling on men more as well. My brother has become kind of obsessed with building muscle to the point of taking all these protein supplements that I only hope have been FDA approved.

If the focus were truly on health, and the health complications often tied to obesity, rather than body image, then not only would people not feel the need to remark on this cheerleader's body, we could love the bodies we have. But yeah, society tells us that only certain body types are acceptable. And it can get difficult to try to ignore society's messages.

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