Nie, totally pisses me off.

[Rachel333]

This is very shallow, but she's got some beautiful kids. I love how the oldest four have four very different hair colors, too. I feel bad that they have Stephanie and Christian for parents.

[lilwriter85]

Quote from Nie's posting from today

Headed home with my family today.

My trip and responsibilities have been successful and

such great opportunities for me and my little family.

Yeah, Nie you really had a huge responsibility. You spoke to 700 Mormons about how your daughter "rejected" you when she was only scared of you. I hope Nie's fucking speaking gigs at LDS wards or stake centers dry up at some point.

[Curious]

So I didn't know much about Nie. I had a little primer once somewhere that shall not be spoken of around the holidays because of that video shoot with the live reindeer and some comment she made about disability that kind of made me curious about her.

Yesterday, somehow I feel down the rabbit hole of her blog when I followed OKTBT's link :mouse-shock: :confusion-helpsign:

I agree about the kids. They are adorable. Lottie is so cute, it almost makes my very stopped biological clock start ticking again ;) Ok, I said something nice :)

I haven't had a chance to read her whole blog or start from the beginning, I'm reading it backwards from the link, so it's a bit strange and someone needs to tell her that centering ALL your text is a no-no. I also noticed she tends to leave words out a lot, which makes reading a bit hard for me because I automatically fill in the word I think should be coming and then it's not there and my eye and brain get out of sync and I have to go back and figure out why.

OK, obviously, I can't imagine the pain she has been though with having 80% of her body burned. It has to be excruciating. That being said, she hasn't cornered the market on pain (or suffering). There are other people on the planet that are disabled in other ways that also have extreme chronic pain. There are other forms of disability that have other issues that cause people to struggle just as much, which may not include pain, but include other limitations.

Her attitude almost seems like she wants others to suffer WITH her, FEEL her pain exactly as she feels it. Maybe I'm reading her wrong, but that is the feeling I get from what I have read so far. First, that doesn't seem very Christlike. Second, that's just mean. I have always said that I would never wish the kind of pain I have on my worst enemy. I mean it's really NOT fun and no one should have to go through it, even people I don't like..it's that bad.

I have said, I wish certain people could spend some time in my shoes so they could understand, but I don't think that is really the same thing. That is also more directed at people who say things like "I wish I could stay home and lay around the house all day" or "you're so lucky you don't have to go to work and can just lay around in bed all day," as through disability and chronic pain is some kind of permanent vacation and I'm just sitting around eating bonbons and watching soap operas every day and feel like a million bucks.

I've had enough surgeries that when I go to a dr and have to fill out the surgery history, I always say "I'm going to need more paper." So I'm not a stranger to the hospital. In fact, the last surgery I had was having my gallbladder out (with a return trip 4 months later due to pancreatitis and elevated liver values, due to stones that they missed in the ducts), so I know what that feels like. I'm sure she has some other issues, due to the burns.

She's not as far post-disability as I am, so her attitude may change more with time, but at some point to be happy, I really think you have to stop being defined by or maybe as? your disability and just be a person that happens to have a disability rather than letting your disability define you. I am not sure that made sense. I'm not sure how old Nie is, but I was 29 when I was disabled. It took me about 18 months to get out of the initial depression and probably another 18, to really feel like life was worth living again, but I had NO medical care during that time (yay for being uninsured in the US). So I was going through everything with zero pain meds. In fact, I did the first 8 years with no pain meds (other than OTC, which was no pain meds ;) ).

Now, I have insurance and a wonderful pain dr. and my quality of life has improved vastly since 2006. I am not sure Nie realizes how lucky she is in some regards.

Now, about poor, lovely Jane. I don't know how old Jane is now, but she couldn't have been more than what 7 or 8 when the accident happened? When I was in 3rd grade, lo many years ago ;) They had a fire safety program at my ebil public school and part of that was having a man come talk to us who had been in a fire. He was severely burned and remember this was many years ago, so they did not have the same level of skill and knowledge they do now with skin grafts that they do now. He was a great speaker, but he was scary looking. I was not a very adventurous child, but I was doing ok with him as a speaker until...he took off his prosthetic ear and I melted the fuck down.

I then proceeded to have nightmares about house fires and burned people with no ears chasing me for the next few months (my parents were thrilled no notice was sent home so they could warn me about this beforehand, btw) and when I developed night terrors a few years later, fire was always a big part of it. I still am terrified that our house will burn down and if we are gone too long and there is a fire truck that is headed in the direction of our house, I will have a panic attack because I *know* it's our house and all our pets are going to be burned to death.

The fact that Jane or any of those kids managed to carry on even relatively normally, when you know they had no therapy or anything to really prepare them for who Nie was going to look or how long the process was going to take or anything like that, is amazing to me. If that had happened to me as a kid, I would have shut down, so Jane is clearly made of stronger stuff than I am. I hope that Nie stops blaming her for being a child reacting normally to something scary that she wasn't prepared for and didn't understand and I hope Jane gets out of there the second the clock dings 12 on her 18th birthday.

To however said their child asked if they got a new mommy when you cut your hair, that reminded me of something that happened when my son was maybe 15 months old. His dad had always had a mustache, but he had a mustache trimming accident and had to shave it off. So he had shaved and came down the stairs and around the corner and went to sneak up on our son to pick him up and Curious-son happened to turn around right at the same time and let out a bloodcurdling scream and ran as fast as his little toddler legs would carry him over to me. His dad was all perplexed about it and I started laughing and said he doesn't recognize you with the stache. He started talking and my son peeked out from behind me and just stared at him like "How is my daddy's voice coming out of some strange man?!?!?"

(sorry for wall o' text)

[lilwriter85]

You don't need apologize for the wall of text, Curious. You explained yourself well and I'm sorry for what you have gone through. Nie is 31 and she was 27 when the plane crash happened. Jane was 5 at the time. I still think Nie and her family should get some kind of counseling even though it has been five years since the crash happened. Several months ago, Nie's son Nicholas who is in kindergarten got upset with a classmate who said that NieNie looked funny. Nicholas tackled the classmate when the teacher wasn't looking. Nie later picked him up from school and he told her about the classmate incident. NieNie was proud of the fact that her son tackled a classmate to defend her. I thought incident and how Nie reacted was telling and a bit disturbing. NieNie really didn't know or inquire further to see if the classmate was being malicious or simply making an observation to Nicholas. I thought it was messed up that she thought it was perfectly fine for her to react violently. Since reading about that incident, I worry a bit that Stephanie and Christian are letting their kids get away with shit like that all the time. I think counseling would benefit those kids, but it will never happen because Stephanie and Christian have to keep the facade of happy Mormon family.

[nokidsmom]

I think counseling would benefit those kids, but it will never happen because Stephanie and Christian have to keep the facade of happy Mormon family.

I haven't read all of Nie's blog but I have read how she refused counseling. Agree that they want to keep the happy Mormon facade but it's also pride. Her post about refusing the counseling sounded like she was darn proud of that refusal. It was like a badge of honor for her to do it.

[lilwriter85]

I haven't read all of Nie's blog but I have read how she refused counseling. Agree that they want to keep the happy Mormon facade but it's also pride. Her post about refusing the counseling sounded like she was darn proud of that refusal. It was like a badge of honor for her to do it.

I agree it is pride too. I think she really wants and tries to make her fangirls think she is always strong and inspirational. I get that sometimes you don't want people to think that you are hurt or feeling weak. It is human to have those feelings and I don't think Nie's fangirls would have looked down on her, if she had decided to go to counseling. When it comes down to it, Nie and Christian are always going to appear as "happy Mormons". I worry quite a bit for their kids because I think they aren't handling certain things well and Nie and Christian haven't snapped about those things.

[ADoyle90815]

I agree it is pride too. I think she really wants and tries to make her fangirls think she is always strong and inspirational. I get that sometimes you don't want people to think that you are hurt or feeling weak. It is human to have those feelings and I don't think Nie's fangirls would have looked down on her, if she had decided to go to counseling. When it comes down to it, Nie and Christian are always going to appear as "happy Mormons". I worry quite a bit for their kids because I think they aren't handling certain things well and Nie and Christian haven't snapped about those things.

I also think it's pride that has prevented her from getting counseling, even with a Mormon counselor.

[mockingbird]

This all could have been handled so much better. They could have spent time preparing the kids for how their mom would look now. Nie could have made it not all about her when Jane was scared. It was not a personal attack but a child being confronted with something unfamiliar and maybe being afraid that her mom was going to act differently now too. Any change is a big deal for kids. I agree it probably wasn't the best idea to let the kids come to her talk. They are all still pretty young. Also, I agree she could have cut that part of the speech out this time, or changed it to be less about her and more about how while she didn't want Jane to be afraid of her because she was still the same mom, she (Nie) understood these changes were scary for everyone and it was okay to react that way.

I had a bone marrow transplant as a baby. I always knew this was a very stressful time for my parents but they never expected me to help them through their feelings or shared inappropriately. In all honesty, I learned the most about what my parents must have experienced by reading My Sister's Keeper when I was 16. LOL. (If you haven't read it, the book is about a family whose oldest child, Kate, has leukemia and has a bunch of treatments for it. It is written in alternating perspectives between most of the characters except Kate. The plot revolves around her sister, who was conceived to be Kate's genetically identical cord blood donor, suing her parents for medical emancipation so she does not have to be Kate's donor anymore. However most of the mom's chapters are flashbacks starting from when Kate was diagnosed to the present time.) My mom told me the medical details were "accurate" when she read it. I feel like in my case, it allowed me to understand a lot of what my parents must have been going through and thinking about, without having to hear it from them when maybe hearing about some of their emotions or decision processes would have hurt my feelings. I love that book partly because to me it is like hearing an old family legend over and over again (even though the legend is not the most pleasant, it's still mine).

[beckerbuns]

So what is the deal with cutting the hair because it nauseated her? Did I miss the explanation?

[mausi]

Yesterday, somehow I feel down the rabbit hole of her blog when I followed OKTBT's link :mouse-shock: :confusion-helpsign:

Me too. Just started reading. My one immediate question: what's up with the text being in the centre of the page? It's quite annoying.

[lilwriter85]

So what is the deal with cutting the hair because it nauseated her? Did I miss the explanation?

I don't think Nie ever completely explained why her daughter's hair made her nauseated. I'm guessing it was the smell, but still I can't see how. There are some very strong smelling shampoos out there. Dove shampoos is a good example. But sometimes shampoo scents wears off after a few hours. There could have been other alternatives than the girl a hair cut like switching shampoos. This might sound weird, but Nie could also have kept her physical distance from her daughter if she worried about nausea.

[GodsKnickers]

I keep thinking about this. So the bloody hell what if the kid did reject her? She was a kindergartner. They don't always handle change well at that age, and that was one hell of a lot of change in a stinking instant. For everyone, to be sure. But these are adults, who are far better able to reason these things out. According to Nie, she was as calm as all get out and serene blah blah blah at the accident scene, IIRC from what I read. Well good for her. But your 5 year old doesn't know what the hell is going on, no one's likely explained it to her, just kept her busy and changed the subject when questions were asked, out of some notion of protecting her. It's ok for kids to know the truth, even at the age of 5. Sure, you need to make the explanations age appropriate but kids are not stupid - they know when shit's gone down and something is very wrong and their imaginations run wild until they finally get the truth.

5 year olds reject stuff. It kind of comes with the territory. And sometimes they reject their parents, even when life is hunky dory. It's not at all uncommon for a kid to favor one parent over the other when they're little. Add all this other shit in - the accident, the being bounced around, no one being honest with her, and then to walk into a room with a parent who expects the kid to just carry on as usual? FFS, Nie - YOUR life is not carrying on as usual - how the purple hell do you expect a 5 year old to handle this better than you are? Get the hell over yourself, woman. Look into the depth of this, with some maturity and true understanding and realize kids don't know how to reason this stuff away, have no concept of this higher reasoning - it's all pretty basic to them.

And FFCS, DO NOT talk about this with your child in the damn room! Christ on a crutch, way to ruin your own child with your selfishness. Just because you had a feeling, just because it happened, doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be talked about in such a way that the entire world hears about it. Shut yer damn piehole sometimes.

[OkToBeTakei]

So what is the deal with cutting the hair because it nauseated her? Did I miss the explanation?

I wish I could find the particular post. I do recall reading it. She posts daily though, I will try when I have time to find it. She was pregnant not feeling well and a hairdresser friend came to pamper her. She mentioned said hairdresser cut the girls hair which she said was a relief as their long hair was making her nauseous. Presumably either the act of brushing it or ...whatever.

[OkToBeTakei]

So I didn't know much about Nie. I had a little primer once somewhere that shall not be spoken of around the holidays because of that video shoot with the live reindeer and some comment she made about disability that kind of made me curious about her.

Yesterday, somehow I feel down the rabbit hole of her blog when I followed OKTBT's link :mouse-shock: :confusion-helpsign:

I agree about the kids. They are adorable. Lottie is so cute, it almost makes my very stopped biological clock start ticking again ;) Ok, I said something nice :)

I haven't had a chance to read her whole blog or start from the beginning, I'm reading it backwards from the link, so it's a bit strange and someone needs to tell her that centering ALL your text is a no-no. I also noticed she tends to leave words out a lot, which makes reading a bit hard for me because I automatically fill in the word I think should be coming and then it's not there and my eye and brain get out of sync and I have to go back and figure out why.

OK, obviously, I can't imagine the pain she has been though with having 80% of her body burned. It has to be excruciating. That being said, she hasn't cornered the market on pain (or suffering). There are other people on the planet that are disabled in other ways that also have extreme chronic pain. There are other forms of disability that have other issues that cause people to struggle just as much, which may not include pain, but include other limitations.

Her attitude almost seems like she wants others to suffer WITH her, FEEL her pain exactly as she feels it. Maybe I'm reading her wrong, but that is the feeling I get from what I have read so far. First, that doesn't seem very Christlike. Second, that's just mean. I have always said that I would never wish the kind of pain I have on my worst enemy. I mean it's really NOT fun and no one should have to go through it, even people I don't like..it's that bad.

I have said, I wish certain people could spend some time in my shoes so they could understand, but I don't think that is really the same thing. That is also more directed at people who say things like "I wish I could stay home and lay around the house all day" or "you're so lucky you don't have to go to work and can just lay around in bed all day," as through disability and chronic pain is some kind of permanent vacation and I'm just sitting around eating bonbons and watching soap operas every day and feel like a million bucks.

I've had enough surgeries that when I go to a dr and have to fill out the surgery history, I always say "I'm going to need more paper." So I'm not a stranger to the hospital. In fact, the last surgery I had was having my gallbladder out (with a return trip 4 months later due to pancreatitis and elevated liver values, due to stones that they missed in the ducts), so I know what that feels like. I'm sure she has some other issues, due to the burns.

She's not as far post-disability as I am, so her attitude may change more with time, but at some point to be happy, I really think you have to stop being defined by or maybe as? your disability and just be a person that happens to have a disability rather than letting your disability define you. I am not sure that made sense. I'm not sure how old Nie is, but I was 29 when I was disabled. It took me about 18 months to get out of the initial depression and probably another 18, to really feel like life was worth living again, but I had NO medical care during that time (yay for being uninsured in the US). So I was going through everything with zero pain meds. In fact, I did the first 8 years with no pain meds (other than OTC, which was no pain meds ;) ).

Now, I have insurance and a wonderful pain dr. and my quality of life has improved vastly since 2006. I am not sure Nie realizes how lucky she is in some regards.

Now, about poor, lovely Jane. I don't know how old Jane is now, but she couldn't have been more than what 7 or 8 when the accident happened? When I was in 3rd grade, lo many years ago ;) They had a fire safety program at my ebil public school and part of that was having a man come talk to us who had been in a fire. He was severely burned and remember this was many years ago, so they did not have the same level of skill and knowledge they do now with skin grafts that they do now. He was a great speaker, but he was scary looking. I was not a very adventurous child, but I was doing ok with him as a speaker until...he took off his prosthetic ear and I melted the fuck down.

I then proceeded to have nightmares about house fires and burned people with no ears chasing me for the next few months (my parents were thrilled no notice was sent home so they could warn me about this beforehand, btw) and when I developed night terrors a few years later, fire was always a big part of it. I still am terrified that our house will burn down and if we are gone too long and there is a fire truck that is headed in the direction of our house, I will have a panic attack because I *know* it's our house and all our pets are going to be burned to death.

The fact that Jane or any of those kids managed to carry on even relatively normally, when you know they had no therapy or anything to really prepare them for who Nie was going to look or how long the process was going to take or anything like that, is amazing to me. If that had happened to me as a kid, I would have shut down, so Jane is clearly made of stronger stuff than I am. I hope that Nie stops blaming her for being a child reacting normally to something scary that she wasn't prepared for and didn't understand and I hope Jane gets out of there the second the clock dings 12 on her 18th birthday.

To however said their child asked if they got a new mommy when you cut your hair, that reminded me of something that happened when my son was maybe 15 months old. His dad had always had a mustache, but he had a mustache trimming accident and had to shave it off. So he had shaved and came down the stairs and around the corner and went to sneak up on our son to pick him up and Curious-son happened to turn around right at the same time and let out a bloodcurdling scream and ran as fast as his little toddler legs would carry him over to me. His dad was all perplexed about it and I started laughing and said he doesn't recognize you with the stache. He started talking and my son peeked out from behind me and just stared at him like "How is my daddy's voice coming out of some strange man?!?!?"

(sorry for wall o' text)

Wall of text was very insightful.

I have always been quite conflicted about snarking on le NIE. It was and is an extremely disfiguring and sad situation. But that post really pinged my fuckdar.

For one and one only reason. A natural instinct in any good Mother is to protect your child?

The majority of her posts and I have read her whole blog are very self-centric (is that a word?) I think as a woman with a disfiguring accident that is acceptable and understandable. But the premise of her blog is happy Mormon family/monetised/wow my husband loves me/religious/let's not forget Mitt.

Prior to to her accident it was less monetised, very Mormon happy looking life and in her own words a log of her children's lives. (They all say that huh?)

Her accident and her story went viral. A search here can show you 'Homemade Christmasgate etc.' Her blog changed. Obviously she changed. I think anybody who has dealt with burns victims never mind been a burns victim would have absolutely nothing but total sympathy for her. Why then do most not? This is what quite interests me. I am always the eternal bleeding heart. But she makes me uncomfortable. Not because of her burns. That post really got to me because she goes on and on and on about her beautiful children and how much they mean to her but in that one post it became absolutely clear that actually the most important person to Nie is herself. HOW totally oblivious is she to her children's feelings if she measures their worth by how they react then and now to her. Is that how she will measure their love all through their childhood? Is that how she defines them? What about letting them NOT be defined by her accident. What about minimising the effects so they can be themselves?

Nie is bitter. She is bitter about what happened to her and she cannot accept it. I really cannot fault her for that, that must be difficult. But I do think she wants all to suffer with her. That is not fair to her beautiful kids.

The Mr Nie is all this wonderful? No do not buy that. I think he is a bit inept.

[shrewlu]

NieNie is self-centered and gross. Not because of her injuries but because of her attitude.

[Cheetah]

Just because you had a feeling, just because it happened, doesn't necessarily mean it needs to be talked about in such a way that the entire world hears about it. Shut yer damn piehole sometimes.

OMG, yes! (Probably overreacting because this sounds just like my mother... every feeling is equally worthy of being dragged out and examined to death...)

[lilwriter85]

Wall of text was very insightful.

I have always been quite conflicted about snarking on le NIE. It was and is an extremely disfiguring and sad situation. But that post really pinged my fuckdar.

For one and one only reason. A natural instinct in any good Mother is to protect your child?

The majority of her posts and I have read her whole blog are very self-centric (is that a word?) I think as a woman with a disfiguring accident that is acceptable and understandable. But the premise of her blog is happy Mormon family/monetised/wow my husband loves me/religious/let's not forget Mitt.

Prior to to her accident it was less monetised, very Mormon happy looking life and in her own words a log of her children's lives. (They all say that huh?)

Her accident and her story went viral. A search here can show you 'Homemade Christmasgate etc.' Her blog changed. Obviously she changed. I think anybody who has dealt with burns victims never mind been a burns victim would have absolutely nothing but total sympathy for her. Why then do most not? This is what quite interests me. I am always the eternal bleeding heart. But she makes me uncomfortable. Not because of her burns. That post really got to me because she goes on and on and on about her beautiful children and how much they mean to her but in that one post it became absolutely clear that actually the most important person to Nie is herself. HOW totally oblivious is she to her children's feelings if she measures their worth by how they react then and now to her. Is that how she will measure their love all through their childhood? Is that how she defines them? What about letting them NOT be defined by her accident. What about minimising the effects so they can be themselves?

Nie is bitter. She is bitter about what happened to her and she cannot accept it. I really cannot fault her for that, that must be difficult. But I do think she wants all to suffer with her. That is not fair to her beautiful kids.

The Mr Nie is all this wonderful? No do not buy that. I think he is a bit inept.

I remember Homemade Christmasgate and a former FJer who was one of Nie's victims. When I read about that it pissed me off because the former FJer had paid for return postage for her items to be sent back. Nie never sent them back. The former FJer had the theory that Nie might given away the items as Christmas gifts.

Mr. Nie is an asshole like Nie too. I know some of the GOMI posters have speculated on his sexuality based on some of the clothes he wears. I don't know what to think about that. But I find it odd that NieNie has to constantly talk about how "manly" Christian is.

[Cheetah]

Nie's most recent post had a photo of Charlotte in a bike seat on Nie's bike... of course without a helmet. Not surprised, but still...

[lilwriter85]

Yeah I saw the latest pic of Charlotte. She also has the pic up on IG and the NieNie fangirls are preparing for comments attacking their Mormon queen Nie.

[punkiepie]

Nie's most recent post had a photo of Charlotte in a bike seat on Nie's bike... of course without a helmet. Not surprised, but still...

What I can't figure out, is why she keeps doing stuff like this and then posting about it?! I almost think she does it on purpose. If she doesn't want Charlotte to wear helmet, knowing it's irresponsible and dangerous, well okay (but stupid); but don't freaking post the damn pictures! It's like she wants to get a rise out of people just to have her Nie Fan Girls come to the rescue and praise her up and down and all around.

[lilwriter85]

What I can't figure out, is why she keeps doing stuff like this and then posting about it?! I almost think she does it on purpose. If she doesn't want Charlotte to wear helmet, knowing it's irresponsible and dangerous, well okay (but stupid); but don't freaking post the damn pictures! It's like she wants to get a rise out of people just to have her Nie Fan Girls come to the rescue and praise her up and down and all around.

I think that is exactly what she wants. She knows her fangirls will defend her no matter what. I have wonder if there will ever come a point when her Mormon fangirls will ditch her.

[ThisOlGirl]

I think that is exactly what she wants. She knows her fangirls will defend her no matter what. I have wonder if there will ever come a point when her Mormon fangirls will ditch her.

And hey, if there's an accident and her daughter, God forbid, suffers some horrific head injury, they can always sue the city like they did after the plane crash.

[lilwriter85]

And hey, if there's an accident and her daughter, God forbid, suffers some horrific head injury, they can always sue the city like they did after the plane crash.

I'm going to sound awful, but I laughed at the part about suing the city. I could see Christian and Nie doing something like that if something happened to one of their kids. I thought their lawsuits against the City of St. John and the power company who put the lines up were frivolous.

[lilwriter85]

Nie posted more pics last night of Charlotte not wearing a helmet.