Sarah Mally: preparing for the seasons of singleness

[nokidsmom]

Bingo. Geoff is never going to let A-S and E go.

ETA: And the phrase "season(s) of singleness" has always set my teeth on edge. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. :angry-banghead:

Yup, totally agree. After all these years of being worshipped, it's going to be tough to give up that worship and authority to another guy. Also that over the top daddy worship has to turn off even fundie guys. I bet there's been some who don't want to even approach Geoff because it's more than just expressing interest in courting a daughter. It's stepping on his toes because they pose a risk to the control, the worship that he enjoys.

[Abby_B]

Born in '79, so 34.

And still single after writing a book all about how to wait for prince charming? Hehahaha. Poetic justice is sweet.

[Joan of Snarc]

And still single after writing a book all about how to wait for prince charming? Hehahaha. Poetic justice is sweet.

Well see, she's got lots of experience waiting for Prince Charming.

[Dysfundamental]

Someone beat them to it

Christian mingle and jdate

Those really aren't for fundie Christians or Jews, respectively, as far as I know. Certainly all the people I know who've found partners on JDate are secular, Reform, and Reconstructionist Jews. The Orthodox Jews I know who haven't found a partner through friends, family, school, work, or shul have consulted professional matchmakers rather than use JDate, and I wouldn't even call them (the folks I know, I mean) "fundie", maybe "fundie-lite" at most.

[snarkyjan]

Yup, totally agree. After all these years of being worshipped, it's going to be tough to give up that worship and authority to another guy. Also that over the top daddy worship has to turn off even fundie guys. I bet there's been some who don't want to even approach Geoff because it's more than just expressing interest in courting a daughter. It's stepping on his toes because they pose a risk to the control, the worship that he enjoys.

Not to mention that no self-respecting man in AS and E's age group will want Geoff butting in on his marriage.

[Chicken bones]

I have a couple of careers and varying qualifications behind me! I specifically broadened my options because I knew I'd likely want to take some time out to be a SAHM for a while when the children were young, so I've a few avenues I can pursue, some of which would be doable part time with children. One could say I prepared for what might happen after Prince Charming arrived and I was up the duff!

I don't feel sorry for her either - I just don't understand why her conferences and literature would appeal to anyone. It'd be like me studying my post grad diploma in early childhood education (from an actual college!) under lecturers who'd never actually worked in a classroom with real children.

Or it's like taking marriage, child rearing, and higher education-avoidance advice from a PhD degreed man who has never married and has no children!

[SallyDraper]

If Sarah Mally did join a dating website it probably would be Soverign Grace Singles. Its a really creepy dating website for fundys. When i first joined this website, i was lurking around other websites reading up on fundys and that website popped up on my computer search. Im a member of Match.com and those guys are alright bye me. To me there's nothing more manly than a guy holding a bottle of beer in his hand rather than a gun.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I don't know how it is now, but when I used JDate ten years ago, it was definitely not fundie guys using it for the most part. I know because I was always complaining that the guys I met from there were not fundie enough for me. :lol:

[FloraDoraDolly]

The Mally daughters travel a lot and from their website it looks like they have many female friends. They aren't exactly sitting isolated at home like the Maxwell siblings.

[Drina Adams]

I can't believe they published my comment.

[debrand]

The Mally daughters travel a lot and from their website it looks like they have many female friends. They aren't exactly sitting isolated at home like the Maxwell siblings.

I think that their isolation is more of the mind. They interest me because none seen to want to marry and yet they feel no shame in telling girls to never do anything to attract a husband even though their culture puts a lot of emphasis on being married

Their middle sibling works outside the home as a freelance, sports photographer. It appears he travels around the country so is away from the family

http://www.amazon.com/Making-Brothers-S ... roduct_top

They wrote a book on the importance of sibling relationships. Perhaps they get the emotional bonding that most people get from a spouse from one another(I don't mean that incestuously)

[Closed Womb]

Not at all, I am a Christian so I know we're not all fundies. I was just saying that plenty of Christian women stay single for a long time and being a Christian doesn't make one more likely to find a spouse, especially as women outnumber men in the church.

I'm in my mid-twenties and have never had a relationship, it happens.

In my case, being a Christian was detrimental to finding a spouse. I attended churches that kinda sorta straddled between mainstream and fundie-lite. The men in the singles groups were very, very particular and extraordinarily shallow. To this day, they are the most shallow people I have ever met in my life (and I live close to Hollywood and LA). Their opinion seemed to be that God would want "the best" for them, and "the best" is, of course, the western ideal for beauty :roll: , so if you were not a size 2, blonde haired, blue eyed virgin you were not even worthy to chat with at singles bible study. Sadly, the women so outnumbered the men that they never had to lower their "standards"; a hot young Christian desperate to get married and be a SAHM would come along soon enough.

Of course, there were exceptions (especially to the virgin part; hot new convert with a "past" was the favorite of the less controlling men [ie, the ones that were probably more concerned with a good marital sex life than with the ability to control their future wife]). But, usually it was all about looks. Gothard knows what he's doing when he forces his female followers to starve and keep their hair long; he's upping his chances of marriages, babies, and ongoing income.

Success, which I had in the business world, also seems to turn these boys off. I wonder if, in the fundie world, Sarah Maxwell, Sarah Mally, the Duggar girls are considered "successful" and, gasp, too independent?

Anyway, as soon as I left that environment, the world changed. Happily married for over 5 years now, I am pretty sure I'd be a sad-sack Sarah if I had kept "equally yoked", "serves the LORD", etc. as non-negotiable in looking for a mate.

Anecdotal, indeed. But my old church mates are single, most of my other 30+ friends are married. It happens often.

[whatsthesitch]

In my case, being a Christian was detrimental to finding a spouse. I attended churches that kinda sorta straddled between mainstream and fundie-lite. The men in the singles groups were very, very particular and extraordinarily shallow. To this day, they are the most shallow people I have ever met in my life (and I live close to Hollywood and LA). Their opinion seemed to be that God would want "the best" for them, and "the best" is, of course, the western ideal for beauty :roll: , so if you were not a size 2, blonde haired, blue eyed virgin you were not even worthy to chat with at singles bible study. Sadly, the women so outnumbered the men that they never had to lower their "standards"; a hot young Christian desperate to get married and be a SAHM would come along soon enough.

ugh my experience with the Christian singles scene is very similar. The other thing is that the men would all much prefer younger women. Well, men in general do, but particularly in church you will never, ever see a man dating an older woman. I think we can all understand why.

It's tough for me, a 24 year old because I'm still young enough to mix with that group and hang with those guys but in their eyes I'm over the hill already. I'll be getting along with a guy well, we could have everything in common but I'll never be more desirable than the blonde 18 year old ditz who will constantly tell him how, like, totally smart he sounds.

I grew so tiresome of this I fell off the waiting bandwagon and dated a secular man - a younger man - I wish I could regret doing it. But I don't

[yewchapel]

None of my churches, not even the most conservative evangelical (which wasn't even fundie lite), have ever had a singles group of any kind. There were the young people's Bible studies but most of the groups were in a relationship or married - most of my Christian friends are married now. Most church events were aimed at families, married couples or older people. I don't think I would enjoy a church singles group but I have noticed that Christian men seem to prefer younger women and that very few Christian men have anything in common with me. The ones that do are not attracted to me. I would date non-Christians but unfortunately working for the church seems to be a huge turn-off for them :( My current church doesn't have any extra-church activities anyway, aside from a parent and toddler group and an older people's lunch club.