Sarah Mally: preparing for the seasons of singleness

[Sola]

For some people, it is difficult. A lot of non-believers stay single into their mid-30s too. I don't think being a Christian makes you more or less likely to find a spouse.

Unless you are a Maxwellian. Then you've pretty much shit it.

[lilith]

I wonder why some enterprising fundie in need of a home-based business doesn't start a matchmaking site? They could give it some cutesy biblical name like "Cana" after the wedding where Jesus performed his first miracle, or maybe "Yenta" after the Fiddler on the Roof matchmaker since they like appropriating Jewish things. Then the Headships could post profiles for their daughters and review offers to make honest helpmeets out of them from the junior Headships.

If I had an ounce of fundie cred the Lord would be laying it on my heart to take up the lonely hearts ministry toot sweet. Ka-ching!

I was re-reading Quiverful, and apparently back round 2005 or so Doug Phillips (is a tool) and Geoff Botkin were talking approvingly of the future need for arranged dominion marriages. They also agreed that bride prices (paid to the bride's daddy) were probably a good thing.

[salex]

I was re-reading Quiverful, and apparently back round 2005 or so Doug Phillips (is a tool) and Geoff Botkin were talking approvingly of the future need for arranged dominion marriages. They also agreed that bride prices (paid to the bride's daddy) were probably a good thing.

Christian Mingle exists. Do Doug Phillip sand Geoff Botkin have more girls than boys? And what is the going rate for a 30 year old virgin???

Lots of places, the fathers of the bride pay the dowry...may be what it takes for some of these people (I'll pay you to take my aging daughter)

[lilith]

Christian Mingle exists. Do Doug Phillip sand Geoff Botkin have more girls than boys? And what is the going rate for a 30 year old virgin???

Lots of places, the fathers of the bride pay the dowry...may be what it takes for some of these people (I'll pay you to take my aging daughter)

They would never unequally yoke themselves to those heathens at Christian Mingle. The men on that site would expect to actually communicate with their previous maidens, not her Daddy.

[Tom Slick]

I wonder why some enterprising fundie in need of a home-based business doesn't start a matchmaking site? They could give it some cutesy biblical name like "Cana" after the wedding where Jesus performed his first miracle, or maybe "Yenta" after the Fiddler on the Roof matchmaker since they like appropriating Jewish things. Then the Headships could post profiles for their daughters and review offers to make honest helpmeets out of them from the junior Headships.

If I had an ounce of fundie cred the Lord would be laying it on my heart to take up the lonely hearts ministry toot sweet. Ka-ching!

Someone beat them to it

Christian mingle and jdate

[yewchapel]

Christian Mingle (not heard of J Date) is pretty mainstream so not special enough for fundies.

[lilah]

Stopped by the Mally family blog today and noted that Sarah has been preparing herself for seasons of singleness, as captured by her photograph at a meeting. How can anyone take her 'advice' on meeting Prince Charming seriously? I'm younger than she is, non religious and married with a baby and another on the way. Where did it all go wrong for me?!

brothersandsisters.net/gracenotes/

I suspect you have other career options besides being a professional virgin.

I don't feel that sorry for Mally. All of her stories about accosting random people to tell them they are going to hell is so freaking rude.

[desertvixen]

To put it simply-Doing it isn't that difficult, if you decide it is a goal. The fact that Sarah was raised in a family where marriage and children were supposed to be her life's purpose, and has built a career of sorts selling this idea, and has not managed to either marry or have children means that she has failed in her stated goal.

This, wholeheartedly.

[bananacat]

No I get what you mean, but circumstances still happen and in Christian environments, women tend to outnumber men. What I mean is that being a Christian doesn't give you Magical Jesus Powers that makes it easier to find a spouse, although there might be more desire to find one.

You seem to be equating fundies (the topic we're discussing) with Christians in general (which make up about 70% of the U.S. population). Surely you don't think that courtship and purity obsession are widespread among Christians in general.

[yewchapel]

Not at all, I am a Christian so I know we're not all fundies. I was just saying that plenty of Christian women stay single for a long time and being a Christian doesn't make one more likely to find a spouse, especially as women outnumber men in the church.

I'm in my mid-twenties and have never had a relationship, it happens.

[martian]

I was re-reading Quiverful, and apparently back round 2005 or so Doug Phillips (is a tool) and Geoff Botkin were talking approvingly of the future need for arranged dominion marriages. They also agreed that bride prices (paid to the bride's daddy) were probably a good thing. - lilith

I should know enough not to be surprised by that, but even so... they really want to roll back the Enlightenment.

Margaret Atwood looks more prescient by the year. Dominionists weren't even a blip on my radar in 1985 when The Handmaid's Tale first came out. Yet, here they are, openly planning their Republic of Gilead.

[lilith]

I should know enough not to be surprised by that, but even so... they really want to roll back the Enlightenment.

Margaret Atwood looks more prescient by the year. Dominionists weren't even a blip on my radar in 1985 when The Handmaid's Tale first came out. Yet, here they are, openly planning their Republic of Gilead.

Maybe it's why the Robotkinettes are still serving Daddy at home - nobody can afford to buy them. The price must be going down - they are losing those precious eggs that Daddy prayed over in the maternity ward by the dozen every year that passes and severely fucking with Geoff's 200 year plan.

[martian]

Maybe it's why the Robotkinettes are still serving Daddy at home - nobody can afford to buy them. The price must be going down - they are losing those precious eggs that Daddy prayed over in the maternity ward by the dozen every year that passes and severely fucking with Geoff's 200 year plan.

I wonder if there's a kind of intoxication that comes with having that much control over over another human being and they can't give it up. These men will never have as much control over any other people as they do their daughters. Wives have some limited autonomy, sons go out into the world, it's the daughters who truly provide the worship these little gods seem to crave. What would they do without that ego fuel?

[GenerationCedarchip]

I don't think her singleness will reflect negatively at all. Her intended audience will probably look on it as taking one for the team. This godly woman is so eager to get the message out that she's willing to sacrifice EVERYTHING for Jesus. Much in the same way that unmarried, childless Bill Gothard is able to continue to lead and advise to the much married and child-blessed sheeple. Do as I say, not as I do.

I agree with this as far as the parents go. However, in fundie culture, we were all conditioned to be REALLY wanting marriage once we hit 18-19. That "look at every man you meet as potential husband material" mentality has its own damaging effects, but it also conditions you to wonder what's wrong with someone Sarah Mally's age that has no husband. The parents might like her and her message, but I'm not so sure about the young girls she's addressing. There's a younger SAHD crowd out there(online and off) and they don't run with Sarah Mally and Kelly Reins quite so much. Most of my fundie cousins aren't SAHDs but they run with that crowd and the Duggar girls, Blessed Femina, Jasmine Baucham, Meredith Hammer, and (still) the Botkins are the names they look up to.

[Marian the Librarian]

I wonder if there's a kind of intoxication that comes with having that much control over over another human being and they can't give it up. These men will never have as much control over any other people as they do their daughters. Wives have some limited autonomy, sons go out into the world, it's the daughters who truly provide the worship these little gods seem to crave. What would they do without that ego fuel?

Bingo. Geoff is never going to let A-S and E go.

ETA: And the phrase "season(s) of singleness" has always set my teeth on edge. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. :angry-banghead:

[Wolfie]

I should know enough not to be surprised by that, but even so... they really want to roll back the Enlightenment.

Margaret Atwood looks more prescient by the year. Dominionists weren't even a blip on my radar in 1985 when The Handmaid's Tale first came out. Yet, here they are, openly planning their Republic of Gilead.

My hope is, that even though they're not all vocal, enough Americans are against that type of country that they voted Obama in twice.

[Drina Adams]

I suspect you have other career options besides being a professional virgin.

I don't feel that sorry for Mally. All of her stories about accosting random people to tell them they are going to hell is so freaking rude.

I have a couple of careers and varying qualifications behind me! I specifically broadened my options because I knew I'd likely want to take some time out to be a SAHM for a while when the children were young, so I've a few avenues I can pursue, some of which would be doable part time with children. One could say I prepared for what might happen after Prince Charming arrived and I was up the duff!

I don't feel sorry for her either - I just don't understand why her conferences and literature would appeal to anyone. It'd be like me studying my post grad diploma in early childhood education (from an actual college!) under lecturers who'd never actually worked in a classroom with real children.

[Miggy]

Bingo. Geoff is never going to let A-S and E go.

ETA: And the phrase "season(s) of singleness" has always set my teeth on edge. Like fingernails on a chalkboard. :angry-banghead:

I didn't think daughters featured in the 200 year plan. Their offspring belong to their headship rather than to their father. Only sons offspring bear the name Botkin and are indirectly under Geoff's headships. (At least, that is the way it works in the fundy parts of my family.)

[lilith]

I didn't think daughters featured in the 200 year plan. Their offspring belong to their headship rather than to their father. Only sons offspring bear the name Botkin and are indirectly under Geoff's headships. (At least, that is the way it works in the fundy parts of my family.)

You're right, I forgot about that. So it's some other dominionist's 200 year plan that's being screwed with every month that goes by without the Robotkinettes being impregnated.

[Patsy]

Christian Mingle (not heard of J Date) is pretty mainstream so not special enough for fundies.

Maybe Bradrick could form the new one? Launch date: next decade!

I wonder if there's a kind of intoxication that comes with having that much control over over another human being and they can't give it up. These men will never have as much control over any other people as they do their daughters. Wives have some limited autonomy, sons go out into the world, it's the daughters who truly provide the worship these little gods seem to crave. What would they do without that ego fuel?

Fantastic point.

[Irishy]

The VF and ATI/fundie crowd should invent some type of nun thing for these girls. They've been "called" to serve The Lord as chaste virgins or summat. Explain it all away easy. They constantly borrow from Judaism so why not borrow a little from the catlicks too.

[salex]

I should know enough not to be surprised by that, but even so... they really want to roll back the Enlightenment.

Margaret Atwood looks more prescient by the year. Dominionists weren't even a blip on my radar in 1985 when The Handmaid's Tale first came out. Yet, here they are, openly planning their Republic of Gilead.

I think we ser AMD hear what they want but the vast majority of people have never heard of them since they don't travel in findie circles. They hear a politician here and there say some horrible thing but don't realize that some of these hate groups are all dressed up and working on a shared fantasy of world dominion. I think the best medicine for it is media attention. Many of their views are just like the Phelps. This needs to be highlighted while the Phelps retain their hated status. Being a more demure Phelps does not make you a good guy. A spotlight is neede to illuminate their beliefs.

[Sparkle]

Hmmm, maybe fundies need to think twice before naming their daughters Sarah. This whole "a woman's destiny is to be a wife and mother" thing doesn't seem to be working out very well for a few of them...

:cry: I'm turning 34 next month and named "Sarah". WELP i should start planning my "seasons of singleness" or whatever. Horrible how work, friends, hobbies, and baseball distracted me from this very important phase of my life...

[curlytoes79]

Yikes, this chick is my age. I've been happily married for almost 7 years now. No kids, though...still, not bad for a godless heathen.

[Arete]

The VF and ATI/fundie crowd should invent some type of nun thing for these girls. They've been "called" to serve The Lord as chaste virgins or summat. Explain it all away easy. They constantly borrow from Judaism so why not borrow a little from the catlicks too.

Nah, the nun thing just would not work for these people. Say what you will about Catholic nuns, they are very broadly educated and have many useful skills. We won't even get into the nasty rumor that they choose the life without any direction from their daddy/headships.