Sarah Mally is 32 and unmarried

[lilwriter85]

She has that 'not a clue' air that many fundies have. That attitude that I sound like a love sick 14 year old. How does she know anything about before or AFTER meeting Prince Charming? She is 32, unmarried... and obviously has never dated, maybe even never 'courted'. Michelle and Jim Bob should be encouraging the girls to speak to newlyweds, people who have successfully courted.

It's kind of like asking a priest for dating advice

I agree I think it is a complete joke that Boob and Mullet think someone like Sarah should giving advice to the girls. I hate to say it but the girls would be better off getting advice from Anna.

[lilwriter85]

Sarah Mally is 32 years old http://sarahmally.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=47&Itemid=55

It bothers me that they are praying for Muslims and dissing that they pray 5 times a dayhttp://www.brothersandsisters.net/gracenotes/

I come from a belief that God loves EVERY creature he created (even humans) enough to not make them go to hell because they are not Christian grrr. That is why I really like Rob Bell- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODUvw2McL8g I really suggest you watch the trailer. So true- so true

Sorry for all the links :)

It also bothered me that they are praying for Muslims and dissing their religion. I'm sure they will be pissed later on when they find out about the Muslim reality show that is going to be on the same network as their beloved Duggars.

[Childless]

I just don't understand this whole courting mindset. I dated several different men. I dated my husband. I married my husband without passing it by my father first. It's really none of his business who I choose to marry. I'm the one that will have to live with this man for the rest of my life. I'm the one that will have to raise children with him. It should be my decision and mine alone who I choose. Anyway, I did things the "wrong" way according to the Duggars and my life turned out just fine. My husband and I get along great. We have a wonderful marriage. We manage to handle hurdles/problems/issues/etc. like intelligent adults. We don't bicker and we rarely argue. We even lived together before we were married. None of it ruined my life.

[Hane]

Ummm just so you are aware most Priests have dated. In fact, I know when I talked to soon to be priests they were told during seminary to date. To see if the Priesthood was what it is all cracked up to be. Maybe not in the past but I know serveral priests that have dated in the past. I know Priests that were also married before the priesthood.

I dated a guy in high school who graduated and went into the seminary. He later dropped out to get married.

[debrand]

According to fundie thought, wouldn't Sarah Mally be a failure? Her techniques obviously don't work as she is in her thirties and not married. Why would anyone take advice from her? Surely, some young woman must realize how silly it is to take relationship advise from someone who has never been in a relationship.

[deborahlynn1979]

This chick's blog is a wealth of new fundie links! I'm having so much fun exploring!!!

[lilwriter85]

I just don't understand this whole courting mindset. I dated several different men. I dated my husband. I married my husband without passing it by my father first. It's really none of his business who I choose to marry. I'm the one that will have to live with this man for the rest of my life. I'm the one that will have to raise children with him. It should be my decision and mine alone who I choose. Anyway, I did things the "wrong" way according to the Duggars and my life turned out just fine. My husband and I get along great. We have a wonderful marriage. We manage to handle hurdles/problems/issues/etc. like intelligent adults. We don't bicker and we rarely argue. We even lived together before we were married. None of it ruined my life.

I also don't understand the whole courting mindset either. But I noticed in the segment in which the four older girls were talking, I think Jinger made the comment that dating was wrong because people "date different people" every week or something like that. I have a feeling Boob, Michelle and maybe Sarah Mally lie about dating statistics or something because most young women aren't dating a different person every week.

[deborahlynn1979]

They also likely have a very skewed vision of what a "date" actually is; I imagine they think that every date involves some kind of sexual contact or some kind of giving of the heart. When in actuality, most dates (especially first dates) probably just involve having dinner with someone to get to know them. You eat, you talk, you laugh if it's going well, and then you probably don't see them again. No emotion need be involved.

[lilwriter85]

This chick's blog is a wealth of new fundie links! I'm having so much fun exploring!!!

Me too. I looked at the site for the "Brothers&Sisters book and the testimony section is very snark worthy. I wonder if the Mallys would be more likable than the Maxwells. They seem to have some of the same attitudes.

Out of curiosity I looked up Before You Meet Prince Charming on Amazon and there is only one review with 1 star and the customer had enough sense to see that the book is BS. Here is the review

Truly a horrible book.... really... "isolating your daughter from the outside world" really? I hope my daughter gets her heart broken, I hope my daughter kisses someone she does marry. Honestly.. this book revolves around teaching your daughter to live in a vacuum. Please teach your daughter how to be strong... teach her right from wrong.... but above all, let her make mistakes and learn from them..

[doggie]

I also don't understand the whole courting mindset either. But I noticed in the segment in which the four older girls were talking, I think Jinger made the comment that dating was wrong because people "date different people" every week or something like that. I have a feeling Boob, Michelle and maybe Sarah Mally lie about dating statistics or something because most young women aren't dating a different person every week.

Fundies lie to their kids about the world say it aint so? the parrots repeat the handlers info and think it is all true.

[GeoBQn]

I also don't understand the whole courting mindset either. But I noticed in the segment in which the four older girls were talking, I think Jinger made the comment that dating was wrong because people "date different people" every week or something like that. I have a feeling Boob, Michelle and maybe Sarah Mally lie about dating statistics or something because most young women aren't dating a different person every week.

When I was younger, I thought that it was normal to go on dates with different people every week because that how it appeared on TV. I was under the impression that my parents dated that way too. Then I found out the secret behind how my parents dated so frequently. Every time someone in their group of friends got a date, the couple set up their friends on dates too. Usually they would go out in individual couples for a Saturday night movie, then meet up as a group at a restaurant afterwards. It was just something to do on a weekend, and sometimes it lead to a more serious relationship, sometimes not. I think group dating is even more common than regular dating among teens now. It's a far cry from having sex and falling in love with a different person every week, which is what the fundies seem to think the rest of the world does (even when their parents' own experiences show that's not true.)

[xDreamerx]

I think part of the courtship mindset is grounded in the fact they don't view women as full persons. They view them as children who require authority. Women are passed from their fathers to their husbands and are never allowed to be on their own. Some even use the language "belong", that they "belong" to their fathers until they "belong" to their husbands. To be active and thinking in your own courtship shows a level of autonomy and thinking. It implies that she is an adult person. It's not a notion capable with their view.

[xReems]

My family is Indian. My parents are more modern than most Indian parents but still have traditional values. Growing up, especially in middle school, I asked my parents if I was allowed to date since a lot of my friends were. My dad flat out said no. At that time, I couldn't understand it but I still did it behind his back. For me, being 13, I didn't see the harm in it. As I got older, I realized why my parents would not allow my sister and I to date until we got to college. My dad's reasoning behind it was because when you're a young teenager, you look for guys who have a nice car, nice looks, whether he's a football player or not, etc. When you get to college, you start looking for guys who have those "husband qualities" and family background (a BIG thing for us Indians since we're huge on families). However, he never told us that we could only date 1 guy and that's it--he's aware that you have to "shop around" and find out for yourself what you like in a guy.

The Duggars and fundies in general make it sound like as if dating is a horrible thing. Before my current boyfriend, I was in 3 other relationships but that never interfered with our relationship nor did it cause any problems. Fundies use God as their reasoning behind everything which is just so stupid. They claim in dating you give pieces of your heart away but in courtship you do the same exact thing if it doesn't work out--whether or not God thought it wasn't right, you still gave a piece of your heart away. Yes, my dad had to approve of my current boyfriend (both my parents adore him) but for fundies, it seems like parents have a way bigger input without considering their child's feelings. That's just me.

[xReems]

Me too. I looked at the site for the "Brothers&Sisters book and the testimony section is very snark worthy. I wonder if the Mallys would be more likable than the Maxwells. They seem to have some of the same attitudes.

Out of curiosity I looked Before You Meet Prince Charming on Amazon and there is only one review with 1 star and the customer had enough sense to see that the book is BS. Here is the review

I LOVE that review--it's 100% true. These fundies shelter their children so much, especially the daughters, that they have to be so dependent on others. Dating other guys has taught me to be stronger as a woman but with these fundies, they think that sheltering them from everything will help them. Clearly that mind set doesn't work in the real world. They're being taught to be submissive and be under constant authority, with no sense of independence. I'm sorry, I could not follow that type of belief. My boyfriend and I have an EQUAL relationship-both he and I have different views on certain things but we've learned to find common ground with it.

What will happen if one of the fundie girl's husband dies suddenly? Could they survive on their own and be strong enough to handle it all? Or would they feel completely lost and have to rely on their parents' support and go back to depending on them? This is why I'm so happy my parents have taught my sister and I to be independent and strong so we could make it on our own, without having someone to hold my hand. I'm looking for jobs right now and one I'm interested is on the west coast but I know if I get the job, I can handle it, without having my parents OR my boyfriend holding my hand every step of the way.

[lilwriter85]

I LOVE that review--it's 100% true. These fundies shelter their children so much, especially the daughters, that they have to be so dependent on others. Dating other guys has taught me to be stronger as a woman but with these fundies, they think that sheltering them from everything will help them. Clearly that mind set doesn't work in the real world. They're being taught to be submissive and be under constant authority, with no sense of independence. I'm sorry, I could not follow that type of belief. My boyfriend and I have an EQUAL relationship-both he and I have different views on certain things but we've learned to find common ground with it.

What will happen if one of the fundie girl's husband dies suddenly? Could they survive on their own and be strong enough to handle it all? Or would they feel completely lost and have to rely on their parents' support and go back to depending on them? This is why I'm so happy my parents have taught my sister and I to be independent and strong so we could make it on our own, without having someone to hold my hand. I'm looking for jobs right now and one I'm interested is on the west coast but I know if I get the job, I can handle it, without having my parents OR my boyfriend holding my hand every step of the way.

I think if a fundie girl's husband died, the parents might support her or they would try to get a church to support her or they would probably encourage to remarry as soon as possible. I agree fundie girls aren't really taught independence. I have always wondered what a fundie woman would do if her became disabled or something, but again I bet in those situations the woman would seek help from churches or something.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

This struck me as a damage control episode. They're trying to shut up their critics.

So has the rest of the season.

I haven't seen it yet. I'm still reeling from Jill, a few years back, recommending "Before...." to a group of--what was it? 4th graders? in a public school. As her favorite book

[liltwinstar]

I grew up with the "courtship" thing held up as the ideal. It was terrible, because it gave me no criteria whatsoever with which to evaluate men. I literally thought "God would bring you 'the one'" and that was it. So, when I was 19 and a man started stalking me, I thought it was somehow "miraculous" that he was always in the same place I was, and that that meant that I was supposed to pay attention to him and date him. In retrospect, that's chilling, but I was so naive, that's what I thought.

Also, 13 year old girls shouldn't worry about husbands. I know that I was worried about getting married from the time I was about 5ish? 6? Something like that - who would I marry, when would I meet him, etc etc. Except for a brief period of time where I wanted to be a nun (a desire partly fueled by the fact that no man had ever expressed interest in me), it was something I worried about - I would just hope hope hope that someone would notice me so I wouldn't be an old maid.

Courtship puts women in a terrible, passive position - you can't pursue a man you're interested in, you don't have skills/judgement to see if you would even get along long term, and you can't question what happens because it's all supposed to be "god's will." Added to that is the pressure to marry almost as soon as the courtship is announced, and it's a recipe for disaster.

[demgirl]

It is like too too strange that the fundie royalty have their wimmin folk writing about the ideal of courtship, yet said royal fundie women are single into their late 20s and early 30s, while the fundie serf women are getting married off young. What is up with that? And why would you ever take romantic advice from women who literally cannot get what every fundie girl is told to want most -- a husband and kids?

[debrand]

I'm pretty certain that none of the Malley children are married.

[tehgoobster]

Before You Meet Prince Charming is currently ranked # 211 on Amazon.com. Ugh! Looks like being on the Duggars' show gave it a boost. It's probably only a temporary boost, but still! Yuck!

[MrsYoungie]

For any of you who wonder just how dreadful this book is: bookreviewprince.blogspot.com/2009/06/beginning.html

If you missed this the first time it was posted (couple of years ago) it's worth a look.

Honestly, that book has dreadful writing, bad characters, cliches by the bucket load. And then the author jumps in at the end of each chapter and hits you over the head with the true meaning of what you just read.

BARF!

So, at 32, what happens when she realizes that her maidenhood is now decreasing in value with every passing day? How sad is that?

[debrand]

On my old blog, I did a reivew of someone's review of the book. :lol:

http://debrasrandomthoughts.blogspot.co ... rming.html

If you scroll down the comments, a person named Karyn writes that she is a relative of Sarah Malley. A quick glance through her blog makes me think that Karyn is not fundie. Although, I wonder if she understands everything that her relative advocates.

I'm not trying to plug my old blog. The only reason that I mention it is because of the comment by Karyn

[demgirl]

Nevermind. I was wrong. I still think the story of the Mally girl at the National Educators Association is creepy. Draw them in with wild animals, keep them to mock their science!

tomorrowsforefathers.com/gracenotes/?p=8107

[debrand]

Dem girl, they were clearly trying to convert people there.

This just sounds ignorant to me.

At the beginning of the day Dan told us he knew there was going to be spiritual warfare and it was likely they would try to think of a way to stop him from bringing his animals. He was right. First the Navaho Indian booth across the aisle kept complaining to the authorities saying they were offended by the animals. Somehow linked to their superstitious beliefs.

On her blog, Sarah seems to be trying to be sweet but the above comment shows a lot of intolerance for other cultures.

[demgirl]

Totally, debrand. She doesn't come off as sweet to me. She's comes off as frustrated, superior, condescending, entitled raging bitch who is trying to cover it with affected "sweetness".

I just realized I forgot to add that she's sanctimonious too!

I actually can't tell the two sisters apart for the most part. I think the younger one wrote this:

She seemed anxious to join us, so we went down to the little hotel restaurant. It was about 9pm. She told us that she had just come from her grandpa’s funeral, and it had been a very hard time on her family. She mentioned how she cried the first 15 minutes of her flight. Then we learned that she had converted to Mormonism two years ago.

“What were some of the reasons you were attracted to Mormonism?†I asked her.

“When the [Mormon] missionaries came to my door,†she explained, “They told me that I should pray and that if what they were saying was true, I would feel it in my heart—the spirit of God would confirm it to me. And that’s what happened.â€

Sarah and I realized that we needed to be especially sensitive as we reasoned with her because she was already having such an emotional time. Plus, she seemed to be basing her conclusions on feelings instead of logic.

UGH. See what I mean? Poor girl was on her way home from a funeral and what do they do? Try to take away the comfort of her religion by telling her what a fool she is to believe it based on "Feeling" rather than the Mally's infallible "Logic" (which seems to really mean: The Bible says so! Yes so! Yes it does! ITDOESITDOESITDOES! See? Logic!). Bitches, both of them.

The best part is that this happens as a result of accepting free airline miles to stay overnight due to an overbooked flight. Listen to them explain (one of them being 22 years old and the other 32 years old, mind you) their father's agony at deciding whether to allow them to stay over:

On our way home Delta overbooked our flight and offered us free air miles if we stayed overnight in Detroit and took the next flight in the morning. We were each given a voucher worth $400 of air miles that we can use on future flights. Not a bad way to make money. :) Plus we were given a free night in a nice hotel with my sister and $48 worth of “meal vouchers†to spend in the airport.

I admit, it did take a while for my dad to decide whether he thought staying overnight in Detroit would be safe (have I ever mentioned he is VERY cautious? :) ) and the lady at the gate was getting annoyed with all my questions. Eventually Sarah told the lady, “I think we are going to take the offer and stay.â€

“Well, you can’t say ‘THINK.’†She said, “It’s either ‘YES’ or ‘NO.’â€

(Lol. She had gotten to know us well.)

“Ok, yes we are staying,†Sarah clarified.

After that she became very friendly again. She really appreciated the tract we left with her and as she began looking at it, she said, “I like it already!†:) She even told me she was going to e-mail me after she read it.

Poor airline lady.