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Jobless mother-of-10 vows to keep having more babies


doggie

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I just want to say again that this isn't working or not working for me. Those are value neutral. Whatever a family does I assume it the most right or best they can do with whatever their circumstances are. (I say the best they can do because I know some people work/don't work simply because of circumstances not because of an active choice. there are lots of things that play into this).

I think all the different combinations are valid and deserve respect and none of them innately deserve more respect than others.

Just because I work doesn't mean I am butt hurt, and certainly during the brief period I didn't work I probably did do a slightly better job of managing all that stuff you have to do to live.

But because the M is an important part of SAHM I assume that the Mothering is the "job" part. But parenting is just different than a job to me and should stand on its own.

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I would actually argue that calling SAHParenting a job DEvalues it. Jobs are things we do so we have the money for the things we really want. Sure, you might like your job, you may even love it, but how many people would still be putting in forty hours a week at it if they weren't being paid? I'm sure there are a few, but for most people the job is a means to an end, the end being money.

Parenting, whether you're at home with the kids all day or not, isn't really a means to an end. Yes, the goal is to produce responsible, independent adults, but I doubt that's why people choose to parent in the first place. I'm not denying it's hard work and there are parts of it, like cleaning up puke, that you don't want to do but have to do as part of being a parent. But calling it a job implies that that is all it is: something we must do so society doesn't crumble.

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I would actually argue that calling SAHParenting a job DEvalues it. Jobs are things we do so we have the money for the things we really want. Sure, you might like your job, you may even love it, but how many people would still be putting in forty hours a week at it if they weren't being paid? I'm sure there are a few, but for most people the job is a means to an end, the end being money.

Parenting, whether you're at home with the kids all day or not, isn't really a means to an end. Yes, the goal is to produce responsible, independent adults, but I doubt that's why people choose to parent in the first place. I'm not denying it's hard work and there are parts of it, like cleaning up puke, that you don't want to do but have to do as part of being a parent. But calling it a job implies that that is all it is: something we must do so society doesn't crumble.

Would responsibility be a better word? Because nobody has to be a parent, but once you've signed up to it, responsibility is what you had better be damned committed to for at least the next 16-18 years! I think we can all agree that paid jobs/being a parent is equally hard work, just in different ways. At least if I've had a hard day at the office, I can forget all about it at the end of my shift/weekends etc. But a parent - SAH or not - is never off duty.

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Would responsibility be a better word? Because nobody has to be a parent, but once you've signed up to it, responsibility is what you had better be damned committed to for at least the next 16-18 years! I think we can all agree that paid jobs/being a parent is equally hard work, just in different ways. At least if I've had a hard day at the office, I can forget all about it at the end of my shift/weekends etc. But a parent - SAH or not - is never off duty.

Total. It is a responsibility.

I can half ass at my job for twenty years and make enough of an impact my company doesn't lose money on me and I might even be beneficial. People might carrying a bit of a bigger load because of my half assness. But I probably am not doing psychological, educational, etc damage to them

When you half ass parenting for twenty years the impact is so much bigger. You impact a real human being in ways that will impact other real human beings in deeply damaging ways.

It is so much more than a job. It is a responsibility that has such potentially profound impacts.

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I consider stay at home parenting or homemaking to be an occupation. Kind of the same status as retired or caregiver to an adult family member or volunteer. To me, job implies being paid for work. SAHP' s still work (unless they can afford a nanny and housekeeper!) But it's unpaid work.

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Well, after talking over this topic with my husband I've sort of changed my mind. He mentioned that to him a job means a W-2. No W-2, no job. I don't know why this struck a cord, maybe because for so many years I was deeply involved in the creation and dissemination of W-2s, but I immediately sat back and went "huh, that makes sense". After mulling it over I agree that being a SAHM is not a job. It's an occupation, a calling, a choice, a frustrating task at times, but not a job.

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Well, after talking over this topic with my husband I've sort of changed my mind. He mentioned that to him a job means a W-2. No W-2, no job. I don't know why this struck a cord, maybe because for so many years I was deeply involved in the creation and dissemination of W-2s, but I immediately sat back and went "huh, that makes sense". After mulling it over I agree that being a SAHM is not a job. It's an occupation, a calling, a choice, a frustrating task at times, but not a job.

Although all those 1099 people have jobs too :)

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