Ladies shouldn't work unless they've completed the following

[miffy]

Ha. I came in here to ask "does the cat count?" :lol:

Loving the responses in here...

I've found my cat in the middle of the dining table centrepiece, when I was using a wreath thingo.

Cats have a clean fabric sensor & also some kind of reversed chameleon gland that helps them to sense things their fur will show up on.

[snuggles911]

After reading the original list and everyone's replies I have an overwhelming urge to call in sick tomorrow and rent a carpet cleaner and spend the day deep cleaning my carpet and sofa (dog puked all over the place while I was in work today). But, I'll still have so much left on the list that I'll feel guilty so I might as well just go into the office and not worry about it.

[Minerva]

Fuck, my husband has to ask for a CLEAN shirt, and he better ask nicely...

My partner cleans his own damn shirts. He cleans mine, too.

[Minerva]

Half of the things on that list are my partner's chores. So if Mr. Minerva neglected to do something, I'm supposed to skip work? That seems fair... And of course I'm going to choose baking homemade bread over going to work. Because baking homemade bread is so much more useful than bringing in a paycheque. It's not like you can just buy that shit at the grocery store, after all.

[turquoise]

24. Does your husband ever have to ask for an ironed shirt?

No. That's what permanent press fabrics are for.

12. Do you bake bread? (Once again, no one HAS to do it, but if a woman is bored, maybe she should bake her bread. It takes more time. It smells wonderful. It has far greater effects than can be listed here, both emotionally and physically or even involving childhood memory)

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

Excess time is currently not my problem.

15. Have you re-decorated or re-arranged in the last 3 years? (You need not do it, but if you think you need to go to work or take on extra work earning money at home, why not put the time into re-beautifying your house?)

Of course, because if I'm short of money it would make a lot more sense to spend the little I have on decorating instead of working to earn more. :roll:

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away? (Keep in mind, I am not saying you have to do this. I am only listing it in case you think you have time to bring in another income!)

What? You're saying I don't have to do laundry or put it away anymore? Cool!

9. Is your living room ready for company?

Yes, now that it is artfully decorated with laundry.

30. Do you read at least one good book or learn something new within the year, or learned any new skill?

I just learned that it is more important to have a centerpiece on my table than fold my laundry. I'm set until next year. And it's only April!

[Mama Mia]

I'm too lazy and unmotivated to even read her long-ass list, much less actually do it.

:nenner:

THANK YOU ! I was starting to feel extremely inadequate reading all these over-achiever answers ! :whistle:

[Funky Chicken]

I have just read this list out loud to Mr. MtL, who listened with a growing look of horror on his face, then suggested the following for #31: "Have you alphabetized your tampons?"

Truly virtuous women don't use tampons. Not only are they Satan's cotton fingers, they should not be necessary anyway. You should be pregnant at all times.

[Minerva]

Truly virtuous women don't use tampons. Not only are they Satan's cotton fingers, they should not be necessary anyway. You should be pregnant at all times.

Besides, proper ladies don't have bodily functions.

[yewchapel]

Proper ladies make their menstrual unmentionables out of cheap fleece leftover from making capes and coats to symbolise fog, dontchaknow.

[GodsKnickers]

Besides, proper ladies don't have bodily functions.

Seriously. I don't fart. I whisper in my panties.

[dramallama]

What an imbecile. I lost it at "do you have a centerpiece?" though. PRIORITIES, LADIES!

[miffy]

Proper ladies make their menstrual unmentionables out of cheap fleece leftover from making capes and coats to symbolise fog, dontchaknow.

Here was me thinking they used teacups.....

[bubbabearzle]

I love how she thinks women get jobs because they're bored and have too much free time and not because, you know, they need the money.

I also don't think she takes into consideratin the fact that some of us have education/knowledge that enables us to contribute more to society than just a sparkling clean bathroom.

[apple1]

I haven't read all of this thread.

I will just say that if I didn't go to work at my job outside the home, I wouldn't HAVE any home to do all of the above to.

Gah.

[OkToBeTakei]

You can make activities like that fun for the kids. Doesn't mean it's not work, but it doesn't have to be horrible. I've had races with my niece to see who can fill up a box with sticks first. Still work, but making it a game. Making work fun does not make for craptastic parenting. (Zsu does enough of that with the hate she teaches her kids.)

The craptastic statement was general to cover her parenting decisions in general. ie. the hate. As I said she does do fun stuff with her kids but it is the manner that she and others of the same ilk say how much their kids enjoy it. Chores need to be done, sure make them fun, I do. But on my child's Easter holiday cleaning out the garage is not on my list of things she will love to do. She will help, have a bit of fun, but she will be looking forward far more to going to the cinema, the water park, and Harry Potter Experience.

[Mellanya]

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so glad you don't have a job. Having a beautiful centerpiece on the dining table at all times sure makes up for me working my ass off so we can scrape by!" - said no husband ever.

Organizing my drawers? My computer files? What?! If I told my guy that I don't have to have a job because that's what I do (and having someone over for tea), he would call me a useless waste of space - especially because he would manage to mess up my drawers within seconds. I would end up organizing them every single day. No thank you. I rather make some money to buy my own fancy stuff and keep my satanic mess in my drawers. It's ok. I paid for them myself anyway.

[Joan of Snarc]

Seriously. I don't fart. I whisper in my panties.

If your panties are God's knickers, when you fartwhisper in them are you praying?

:pray:

[Trynn]

Do I hang my clothes out on the line? Lady, if I did that at this time of year, I would not have clothes; I would have ice sculptures!

[LucySnowe]

I just love - and by 'love' I mean 'roll my eyes at,' like so: :roll: how much class assumption is built into this list.

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?

- Mr Snowe and I don't have a dining room table. We eat on the sofa with our plates on our laps.

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

- First-floor apartments rarely have porches, and ours doesn't have a balcony, either.

9. Is your living room ready for company?

- If by 'living room' you mean 'the one room we have apart from bedroom and bathroom': no

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line? (You needn't, but it takes more time, and is good for your health and it actually increases the life of your sheets and clothes, as opposed to the dryer)

- Unless we string a clothesline between our window and the apartment across the street, this isn't even possible. However, as we don't have a dryer, we hang our clothes to dry on foldable laundry racks; does that count?

18. Do you grow a garden, or even a tomato in a pot?

- No garden. No lawn. Barely a windowsill, and we only get sunlight about 4 months of the year.

I suppose those of us with one-room apartments can't hope to fulfil ourselves.

[danvillebelle]

We have a dining table, but we don't dine there. It sits with the leaves folded down, in the corner, to make room for the computer desk. We dine on the couch, so as to better enjoy our new ginormous TV. :dance:

I do enjoy playing suzie homemaker sometimes, but most of the time I'd rather be reading or doing research online. What bugs me the most about her mindset is that a woman should be completely intellectually fulfilled by her list, and that "work" outside the home must be drudgery. I am going back to school this fall for the first time in 21 years and I cannot WAIT.

[urban explorer]

Since i can't do somethings on her list I guess I guess I should inform the boss that I can't work any more, Well I guess it's off to the doctors for happy meds.I'll need them.

This women is so out of touch with reality, she does relize it's not 1950 right??????

[Hane]

I have just read this list out loud to Mr. MtL, who listened with a growing look of horror on his face, then suggested the following for #31: "Have you alphabetized your tampons?"

It really, really hurts to shriek with laughter when one has a raging UTI.

[Phyllis Styne]

I thought a very old-order Amish couple and Steve and Teri Maxwell might like to answer some of the questions.

2. Are your dishes washed and put away?

Is Anna robotically smiling for the camera? Then yes, they are washed and put away.

4. Is your table clear, when not dining, and do you have a centepiece?

Centerpiece! Such fripperies! How dare thee presume we hath one?

6. Is your porch clean and the entry way cheerful for visitors or people who see it from the road?

Visitors? Who aren't family? Why would we want to cheer them in?

9. Is your living room ready for company?

Visitors? Who aren't family? Why would we want to cheer them in?

10. Is your laundry washed, folded, ironed and put away?

Ironed? Such vanity!

11. Is your mending and button replacement caught up?

Buttons?! Missy, they had better not be in contrasting colors!

Buttons??????!!!!!!!!!!

12. Do you bake bread?

Are thee being smart, there, young woman?

Only in the smallest portions possible!

13. Is your bathroom shining clean and does it smell nice?

Thee want an outhouse to shine? Here's some wax, go to it.

14. Does your house smell nice?

Idolatry of the sinuses!

16. Are your beds made? Are your sheets and bedding fresh?

How DARE you enquire after our place of sweet, sweet fellowship?

17. Do you hang your clothes on the line?

Art thee trying to be a weisenheimer?

20. Are your photos organized?

*****PHOTOS?!?! !

21. Are your computer files organized?

Hussy! You're talking to MY HuSBAND about computers? Let me get Anna for you to talk to!

23. Do you make any of your own clothes?

Ve are a peaceful people, but lady, thee are pushing thine luck...

25. ARe your books organized?

Are. They. Ever. Can we interest you in a full set at a 5% discount?

26. Do you go through your things regularly for garage sales?

....Garage sale....and let people we don't know, onto our property??????

27. Are your windows clean?

28. Do you cook regular meals from basic ingredients?

Kommst du over here, biotch, and feel the wrath of mein non-violent slappin' hand...

29. Have you had anyone over for tea in the last month?

*THUD* Medic!!! Medic!!! Johnnnnn! Your father's fainted!!!!!!!!!!! Helllllppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Seriously. I don't fart. I whisper in my panties.

Well I don't even have an asshole.

[Loveday]

Well I don't even have an asshole.

I've been snickering at the latest responses in this thread all morning, but this exchange has me laughing so hard it's taken me three tries just to type this sentence!