Woman from Above Rubies complains about family intervention

[Chicken bones]

Not all of this was public info? It was stolen from a private email group to make fun of her?

That I don't know, but her blog is public and includes her actual full name.

[Trynn]

The 2 cited blog entries are worrisome, but not "omg grab the kids!1!!!1!!!!111!" worrisome, unless it's combined with other information I don't know about.

I agree, if I expected my parents to support me without at least TRYING to get a job (they did have to support me for a while because there were literally no jobs available, and I was looking), they'd probably be incredibly mad at me (which doesn't take much, actually...)

[chaotic life]

For years, I believed the lie that I wouldn't be able to afford childcare and have my large family that I wanted. I am actually angry that I fell for that story because it was WRONG.

I am a RN. I should have kept working PRN when I became a mother to hold onto my license. It's true that I did medical foster and adoption so that I was still using my skills. However, I nearly lost my education and credentials because I thought I couldn't afford childcare.

I am ANGRY that I discovered I CAN afford childcare. I don't even have to break a sweat to cover childcare compared to what I can make. Earlier, I could have worked 1-2 nights per week and DOUBLED our income back then.

It amazes me that the mother working is so much the ENEMY in that alter-universe. It took several years out of that paradigm before I realized that not only could I work to help the family, but I should be working some. I'm still primarily at home. I still homeschool two children. I still see the others off to school EVERY school day. Yet, I bring in a buttload of money for only working two days per week, more than enough to cover childcare and boost our lifestyle for my efforts. I don't think my kids are quite ready for both parents working full-time, and I acknowledge that is the price to pay for special needs children--willingly. However, I can see that the day WILL come when my children will be ready for me to work full-time and I can and will do it. I cringe when I think about what I almost taught my children about the worth and value of women simply by feeling incapable of getting a job for so long!

[socalrules]

I think that she is looking for validation from her readers because, subconsciously, she knows her family is right. I think she is doubting herself and may be afraid to admit that she and her husband have led their children into this mess they have no idea how to get out of. Plus, I think when you have put all you have into a certain mindset, and preached the merits of it, it because difficult to admit that you might have made a mistake.

[HeckBound]

I read this and it makes me think of a blog that was written about on AOL recently, how some homeschooling SAHM runs a home for 4 on a budget of $14k per year or something. Because she wants to "homeschool", so work is out of the question. And the intrepid little cheapskate is covered in glory for keeping her kids in deliberate poverty because there's some sort of virtue there. Or something. But you can always count on it BLOGGING WELL, because THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

If you have 8 kids, aren't paying your medical bills, don't have a reliable vehicle (how safe is that, with littles) - God is speaking to you already. And he's telling you to get a job.

[nokidsmom]

I think that she is looking for validation from her readers because, subconsciously, she knows her family is right. I think she is doubting herself and may be afraid to admit that she and her husband have led their children into this mess they have no idea how to get out of. Plus, I think when you have put all you have into a certain mindset, and preached the merits of it, it because difficult to admit that you might have made a mistake.

I read some of the blog entries posted in addition to the post upthread, and I agree that she seems worried that her family is right and is looking for validation to assuage doubts.

One thing I will say about her is that she's willing to acknowledge and expect that over-18 kids will be going off on their own. At least, she's not attempting to keep them at home and in the mess that the poor younger kids are still stuck in. While that should be a normal expectation of parenting (your kids leaving the nest), I wonder if it's also due to the realization that they are in a mess and it's not fair to keep them there. I dunno, just wondering.