Fake Jew Passover Central

[tuckerphez]

Don't forget to add an orange to your seder plate.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packa ... 33,00.html

I thought my uncle's family were the only ones who do that! :D

We're seeing them tomorrow for a pre-passover Seder, I'll have to show them this.

[Beammeup]

I love that I have wonderful Jewish friends who indulge my love of Jewish traditions by teaching me about them and letting me participate. Last year my child got to find the afikomen and I loved it. I'm so grateful for them, so I have zero temptation to participate in one of these fake Passovers. I actually find them disgusting. I don't pretend I'm Jewish, and I don't change the Passover to suit my tastes, I'm a guest in their home and I get to participate in helping prepare, serve, and clean up. (There are a lot of us, it takes a couple of people to serve.) Last year I bought the "plague finger puppets" and a foam passover plate so the kids could be entertained and educated and participate along.

Oh and the family doesn't say next year in Jerusalem. I asked and they said that's because they love it here. They say next year together. And we use the Maxwell House Haggadah.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm thinking perhaps it gives an entire new meaning to the prayer "Let my people go"? :lol:

(all in good fun!!!)

OMG, I just sprayed water all over my keyboard!

A couple of years ago, my husband was alarmed by our then-6 year old doubling over with abdominal pain, so he rushed him to the hospital fearing that it was an appendix attack. No....it was the result of WAY too much matzah with chocolate spread. [Note]

[Dena]

Everyone's favorite fake rabbi charlatan Torah wearing asshole, Ralph Messer is selling tickets to his "battle" themed passover for the low, low price of $329. Because nothing says "Passover" like apocalyptic battles.

torah.tv/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=208&Itemid=155

What a deal! I wonder what the symbolic reason is for having it late.

I mean, the seder should be the 25h right for the first one, and the 26th for the second...or did I miss something some where.

I remember it being said that the Jews were blind to the real reason for everything that is done during the seder. It is all totally about yeska!

:roll:

[anniebgood]

Everyone's favorite fake rabbi charlatan Torah wearing asshole, Ralph Messer is selling tickets to his "battle" themed passover for the low, low price of $329. Because nothing says "Passover" like apocalyptic battles.

torah.tv/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=208&Itemid=155

A really good friend of mine who has church shopped all over the CO area, has landed in Messer's realm. They celebrate Shabbos, don't eat pork or anything unclean. I don't know if she will clean the house of leaven but I wouldn't put it past her. She's got her son wearing kippah and both kids got to Yeshiva and Hebrew School at the churchogauge. She's taking classes and thinks she's getting closer to the Lord.

I was at the market and saw packages and packages of Matzah and the ever present Mogen David Wine.

Makes my head turn to see them appropriate Jewish symbols and customs and then call themselves Christians.

[rollmeover]

I was reading at "Lemonademakinmama" and Sasha was listing her menu, and lo and behold, Tuesday's dinner is "FAMILY SEDER/ Latkes, honey mustard chicken, asparagus and charoset with matzah, etc." I'm Catholic, not Jewish but surely that isn't actually a seder is it?

[pookel]

I was reading at "Lemonademakinmama" and Sasha was listing her menu, and lo and behold, Tuesday's dinner is "FAMILY SEDER/ Latkes, honey mustard chicken, asparagus and charoset with matzah, etc." I'm Catholic, not Jewish but surely that isn't actually a seder is it?

In my (admittedly secular Jewish) family, that would have been fine. I mean, the seder is the whole ceremony, not just dinner, but you have some flexibility as to what you eat for dinner on the night of the seder. In our family it was always matzoh ball soup, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually required.

[GeoBQn]

In my (admittedly secular Jewish) family, that would have been fine. I mean, the seder is the whole ceremony, not just dinner, but you have some flexibility as to what you eat for dinner on the night of the seder. In our family it was always matzoh ball soup, but I'm pretty sure that's not actually required.

Yes, that would be a delicious seder menu if it weren't for the fact that it's apparently being done as part of Holy Week.

[pookel]

Yes, that would be a delicious seder menu if it weren't for the fact that it's apparently being done as part of Holy Week.

I haven't celebrated Passover in 10 years, my mom is a Gentile, and my bacon cheeseburger-eating, third-generation-atheist self is pretty far from being able to claim a legit Jewish identity, but people like that still make me rage unreasonably. How DARE they.

Few things make me as angry as Messianic "Jews" and their ilk.

[GeoBQn]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Abigail is having a Christian seder. From Facebook:

Abigail Benjamin

Today I spent 20 minutes trying to buy Matzo at my local Walmart in WV. The responses were hilarious. I gave up and told Jon he had to pick some up in Rockville.

Rebecca Lane Frech

If you can't find it, let me know. There is a Jewish grocery near us.

Abigail Benjamin

Thanks I need it Tuesday, so I'm just going to have Jon pick it up after work. We're hosting a Christian Seder for Cub Scouts. Go Moses! Go Elijah!

That's the 2nd Catholic who is having a seder on Tuesday. Passover starts tonight. What's the deal?

[Jinger Jar]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Abigail is having a Christian seder. From Facebook:

That's the 2nd Catholic who is having a seder on Tuesday. Passover starts tonight. What's the deal?

Ignorance.

[lagenialester]

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Abigail is having a Christian seder. From Facebook:

That's the 2nd Catholic who is having a seder on Tuesday. Passover starts tonight. What's the deal?

On the plus side, maybe those of us living in areas with super teeny Jewish communities might actually be able to find KFP matzah without going to 18 different grocery stores.

I can't even explain how upset these people make me. It's like they think seders are "cute" or something. I don't know...it feels really patronizing. "OMG MY LYFE IS SO HARD BECUZ I CANT FIND MATZAH IN A WALMART IN THE BIBLE BELT!!!!111111!!!!" Like doing Jewish things is trendy or something. My relatives died because doing Jewish things was considered so horrible to people outside of the community.

[Spider Burps]

This weekend's NY Times magazine had an article about fake Jews! Apparently Christians give their kids bar mitzvahs now?

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/magaz ... d=all&_r=0

[shedemei]

These days, though, mainline Protestants are borrowing from Jewish tradition. For example, Kevin Ibanez, a pastor at Sunrise Church in Rialto, Calif., started wondering along with his wife why there was no male equivalent to the quincineras thrown for girls in Hispanic families for their 15th birthdays. So they decided to give their son, Joshua, a Christian-inflected version of the bar mitzvah to help prepare him for adulthood. In the lead-up, Joshua studied Hebrew and the Scripture with a Messianic friend of the family’s. At the event, he wore a prayer shawl and sang the Sh’ma Yisrael.

There is so much WTF in that paragraph.

[lagenialester]

This weekend's NY Times magazine had an article about fake Jews! Apparently Christians give their kids bar mitzvahs now?

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/24/magaz ... d=all&_r=0

Bar mitzvahs for non-Jews don't make any sense. Contrary to popular belief, the religious significance of the bar mitzvah isn't that the kid becomes a man by reading from the Torah. The kid is just eligible to read from the Torah because he's reached the age where the 613 mitzvot FOR JEWS apply to him now and he can be counted in a minyan. (This is the same definition as a bat mitzvah but being applied to girls obviously and depending on the rigidity of the synagogue they may or may not be counted in a minyan.)

Obviously now most kids get some sort of ceremony and giant party when they become B'nai Mitzvah, but that's not what "makes them a man" according to Jewish law. It's just the simple fact that they are a Jew that turned 13.

The same thing goes for Christians wearing tzitzis or keeping kosher during Passovr or whatever. These are the 613 mitzvot that connect the Jewish people and if you aren't bound by them, doing whatever you're doing isn't going to make you any more "Godly". There are the 7 laws of Noach to follow for everyone else. Stick to those.

If these people actually researched anything about Jewish law and traditions instead of just grabbing what they thought seemed "fun" or "the most Jewish" or whatever, they would realize the innate hypocrisy in everything that they're doing.

[pookel]

That's the 2nd Catholic who is having a seder on Tuesday. Passover starts tonight. What's the deal?

They missed the bit about the day starting at sundown that I learned when I was about 3 years old?

Not that I have much room to talk when I come from a family that celebrates Passover on whatever Friday and Saturday evenings are the closest approximation, but at least I know when it's *supposed* to start.

[FakePigtails]

Bumping because I just ran across this:

theclayrosarygirl.blogspot.com/2013/03/our-first-seder-meal.html

This in particular was painful beyond the already-stated problems with people co-opting Jewish traditions:

Since the Seder meal isn't really a MEAL, I had to make some other food. Besides the lamb, I wasn't sure else is typically served at a Passover meal. So, we had also had steamed cauliflower and a nice salad with candied pecans, gorgonzola and green apple. I think it was kosher. At least I didn't serve bacon! no pork at this meal.

You can research how to do a seder but you miss that kosher meals don't mix dairy and meat? :angry-banghead:

[lagenialester]

Bumping because I just ran across this:

theclayrosarygirl.blogspot.com/2013/03/our-first-seder-meal.html

This in particular was painful beyond the already-stated problems with people co-opting Jewish traditions:

You can research how to do a seder but you miss that kosher meals don't mix dairy and meat? :angry-banghead:

Oh my goodness. I just needed to add these quotes that drove me nuts:

Here's a picture of Analee dipping her finger in the grape juice. How often do you tell your kids to dip their fingers in their grape juice seven times for the seven plagues? That was great. Hiding the matzo was fun too.

So...we always said there were 10 plagues...am I just delusional?

Also this made me actually face-palm.

Pretending to be Jewish was fun, but next year we need little hats for the boys!

Really? She can't even look up what those "little hats" are called while stealing our traditions?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Bar mitzvahs for non-Jews don't make any sense. Contrary to popular belief, the religious significance of the bar mitzvah isn't that the kid becomes a man by reading from the Torah. The kid is just eligible to read from the Torah because he's reached the age where the 613 mitzvot FOR JEWS apply to him now and he can be counted in a minyan. (This is the same definition as a bat mitzvah but being applied to girls obviously and depending on the rigidity of the synagogue they may or may not be counted in a minyan.)

Obviously now most kids get some sort of ceremony and giant party when they become B'nai Mitzvah, but that's not what "makes them a man" according to Jewish law. It's just the simple fact that they are a Jew that turned 13.

The same thing goes for Christians wearing tzitzis or keeping kosher during Passovr or whatever. These are the 613 mitzvot that connect the Jewish people and if you aren't bound by them, doing whatever you're doing isn't going to make you any more "Godly". There are the 7 laws of Noach to follow for everyone else. Stick to those.

If these people actually researched anything about Jewish law and traditions instead of just grabbing what they thought seemed "fun" or "the most Jewish" or whatever, they would realize the innate hypocrisy in everything that they're doing.

I wouldn't have any issue with someone being inspired to come up with their own sort of coming-of-age ceremony for their child. There are other cultures that do that, and some sort of acknowledgement that a child is no longer a child and is accepting the moral responsibilities of an adult makes sense. I just don't think that it is any more logical to use specifically Jewish prayer shawls and prayers (especially one that says "the Lord is One" if you believe in the trinity) than it would be for me to send my son on a walkabout in the Australian outback.