What Would Your Other Half (or halves) Do If You Submitted?

[Maggie Mae]

If you mean "submit" as in "defer to his authority" I think we would end up in a big fight and I would cry and he would tell me to stop being so passive. If you mean, full on fundie life, take care of all the house stuff? I think that would piss him off more. I don't have the ability/desire to keep the kitchen clean to his standards. I'm sure he'd like it if I cleaned the rest of the house on a daily basis though. As it is, it gets done, maybe once a month.

[Joan of Snarc]

I'm pretty sure mine would get bored. And eventually leave.

[Olive Plant]

One of the first things he told me is that he needs a woman who is strong enough to stand up to him. His past most significant relationship was with a woman who was very "feminine" and basically passive, and he wasn't happy in it even though he's very masculine.

So we'd probably end up breaking up if I submitted to everything. In fact, when I say stuff like "whatever you want to do" when he's asked if I want X, he's like "what does that mean? Seriously, what's your preference?"

He really likes the fact that I have my own ideas and opinions. The stuff he's said to me sounds borderline crazy given my fundie background. Like (in all seriousness) "I love how stubborn you are."

[KO84]

In all honesty, if I left my husband in charge of everything, the house would fall down around us, after they shut off the water, the electric and the heat. We'd eat really well, because he loves cooking, but he is just not a detail oriented person. He's smart and talented, but he honestly can't keep track of the day of the week without his scheduling app. "Hey, did you know it's Tuesday?" is something I hear on a regular basis.

That's why I'm not surprised at these fundy stories of people living in falling down shacks, etc., because that's what would happen to us.

Hey we have the same model husband! Except mine doesn't cook. Our yard would look amazing though.

[AnywhereButHere]

First he’d check the alcohol to make sure I wasn’t on some drunken adventure of the mind, and then he’d quietly start hiding all of his office equipment. Once in a fit of feeling ignored and underappreciated, I irreparably bent his favorite ruler by banging it on his desk (he’s a graphic designer and loved that ruler…) while trying to punctuate my point. “YOU WILL LISTEN TO ME!†:D

Then he’d tell me that if I was going to acquiesce to his every wish, he’d wish I’d knock it off and go back to normal. Passivity annoys him. :)

[shedemei]

Freak the fuck out.

[Blahblah]

He'd ask the kids whether mum had been out to one of her special lunches with the girls.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I've asked him, and he said that he'd hate it.

As it is, he has this habit of asking me the same question multiple times. If I kept replying, "whatever you think is best, dear", he'd just ask a million more times and get frustrated that I wasn't answering him. He also likes to receive a clear yes or no answer. If I just said that it was up to him, he'd think that I was being passive-aggressive. If something is bothering me, he wants me to tell him, and he sure doesn't want me to go along with anything when I'm not really happy with it. Submission would frustrate the hell outta him.

Oh, and he'd also wonder about a brain tumour, drugs or alien kidnapping.

[hearyoume08]

No current partner(s) but my significant others would:

Mom: Depends on her mood, but she'd mostly be flustered and mad.

Dad: tell me to cut that shit out and ask me if my meds need to be adjusted.

Sister: hmmmm...probably something similar to mom and she'd threaten to call my ex-dom(mes).

Said ex-(dom(mes): A lecture... again.

[Miggy]

Early in our relationship, my future husband took me to meet my future SiL and her family. We were talking about going out somewhere and hubby offered a few suggestions. SiL answered "I'll do what I'm told". My reaction = :o . I asked hubby about it later and he explained the whole submission thing to me. He then told me "if you ever do that, I will leave". He said it very calmly but I really felt it - there would be no questions asked, he would just walk out. He had grown up with a family behaving like this and really didn't want a wife to do the same.

After 17 years of marriage, it is still the same. I don't even need to ask him. I KNOW that if I suddenly went submissive he would walk. (I'm pretty sure the kids would go with him too.)

[IceTwinkie]

He would either laugh his a** off and ask if I was "role playing" or say that if he wanted a door mat he would have gone to Home Depot.

[Ellimenopy]

He would get so confused and hurt. He's used to me calling him on his shit.

[miffy]

TBH I think my boyfriend would love it, but only for a short time.

My mum actually tried submitting as a joke after that surrendered wives book came out in the 90s & there was a write up about it in the Good Weekend (saturday newspaper magazine). I remember it lasted until we went out for a family lunch the same day & dad said something along the lines of 'you haven't disagreed with me once' & mum, sister & I laughed at him.

[Hane]

I tried this once for laughs as a newlywed in the '70s, back when The Total Woman and Fascinating Womanhood got popular. I got a lot of, "Honey? Are you OK?"

[crassy]

My husband would probably curl up into a ball on the floor and cry. He is absolutely hopeless at managing things due to his anxiety. He can't even make phone calls without freezing up.

I imagine if I had a head injury and decided to submit, we would be living in a cardboard box somewhere.

[AVENues]

I'm single but I never ever submitted. I'm pretty sure they would have tied me to a bed - not to take advantage of my submission but to call a priest or a shaman and cast the submissive demons out of me. They were with me for a reason, they wanted a free spirited person.

[Dutch_girl]

I asked him.

Boyfriend: Could be fun. For one day. Or no, one evening *big smile*

Silence (5 sec)

Boyfriend: But I wouldn't trust it for one single bit. I'd check if you where drunk or something else, and if that wasn't the case.. I'd be scared..

[sugarloaf]

He said "I'd take you to see a shrink."

[theCR]

His mind went right to the gutter. His first question was so you have to do everything I tell you...everything? that was the mildest comment he made. When I finally got it through that I didnt mean in the bedroom. He said he would hate it. We make all our decisions together. And Im pretty sure we would starve. I cant cook much more than mac and cheese and ramen.

Then he tried to change the subject back into the bedroom...I lost him hahaha

[Aurora rising]

I´m sorry but I can´t do this. I promised my man at our wedding day that I´ll always speak up to him and critize him if necessary. He cried and said "I do". :clap:

[So Many Lies]

Honestly mine would love it. He doesn't think I do enought domestic things as it is.

Mine would love it. If I took care of the kids 100% of the time, kept the house perfect, had dinner on the table when he came home,, kept my mouth shut, quit my job, hung on his every word, wore skirts,didn't nag/complain and was happy to make cake/love/craft at his behest he'd be ecstatic.

Pity I'd go stark raving mad.

[bluelady]

With my ex-husband, I ended up being quite passive. If I wanted to go somewhere I would end up asking permission. As in, "Do you mind if I meet Suzy for drinks Saturday night?" I didn't realize I was doing it and, looking back, it says a lot about the state of that marriage.

I found my voice again after my ex and I divorced, but apparently when I want to go somewhere or do something, I still phrase it in the form of a question. Recently, I told my boyfriend that I'd like to go visit my sister over the Easter weekend, if he "didn't mind." And he got really, really upset. He couldn't understand what he'd done to make me think that I needed to ask him permission to do something. I don't notice I'm doing it, but clearly it's something I still need to work on.

So, what would he do if I was fully submissive? I think it would really affect his emotional well-being and I doubt our relationship would last very long.

[EmiGirl]

Mine would love it. If I took care of the kids 100% of the time, kept the house perfect, had dinner on the table when he came home,, kept my mouth shut, quit my job, hung on his every word, wore skirts,didn't nag/complain and was happy to make cake/love/craft at his behest he'd be ecstatic.

Pity I'd go stark raving mad.

'

Yep. This is mine. Of course he's probably fundie medium anyway. His family is almost full on fundie. They're horrified I don't submit.

[MissA]

Oh, God, we would never get anything done again. He is almost pathologically easygoing. We actually had a fight when we were dating in which I screamed "HAVE A DAMN OPINION ABOUT SOMETHING FOR ONCE". He'd be totally content with me making all the decisions about our life.

I don't think he'd like it, either, though I'm not sure since it's never even been on the radar. His family, though not religious, are quite old-school about their male-female relationships. His mother did everything for his dad and his sisters now do everything for their husbands. He was actually rather tickled when I kept my maiden name, and was very proud when I got my doctorate. Nobody in his background does either of those things and he likes standing out a bit.

[Sola]

I asked him, his reply;

"You submit? Hahahaha!"

Ten minutes later he was still laughing about it.