Lori Alexander talks about marriage seminars

[lilwriter85]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2013/03/do-marriage-seminars-help.html

When we read {marriage books} and attended {marriage seminars} it would set us up for crazy high expectations of one another and that just set us up for disappointment and frustration with one another :0). When we stopped reading and attending and started focusing on serving, forgiving, and loving unconditionally, our marriage flourished like crazy! {Donna from Facebook}

What has been your experience with reading books on marriage and going to marriage seminars? After reading Created To Be His Help Meet and experiencing the profound affect it had on my marriage, I went back to all those other marriage books I had been reading searching for why they didn't help my marriage at all.

I have attended many marriage seminars also and listened to many sermons given on marriage. The problem I see with most of them is they give you a formula. Do this and this and then that, then your marriage will be great. So when Ken didn't do this and this and then that, I would be angry with him.

I also would be reminded how the husband is suppose to be the spiritual leader and love me as Christ loved the Church. Well, he certainly fell far short of that! I heard how we were to submit to each other. Well, he certainly didn't submit to me the way I wanted him to.

All these expectations and formulas did nothing for our marriage. Even going to a marriage counselor and dealing with my past didn't help at all. Yes, I knew I was suppose to be submissive but I thought since I had his children, cleaned his home, and fixed meals for him, I was being a good, little submissive wife.

Praise the Lord there was someone out there who spanked me with her words and explained to me how ugly my behavior was and what true, biblical submission looked like. Yes, it is all in the Bible but for some reason I didn't fully comprehend it. This is why God is very clear about older women teaching the younger women. He knew we needed a teacher for this difficult subject since society and even most churches don't teach it properly.

Some men are afraid of having submissive wives. They have been duped by the feminist movement to think submission is an ugly thing. It is a beautiful thing, for God only creates beauty. Feminists are completely opposite of feminine. A gentle and quiet spirit is the essence of femininity...not my will but thine be done.

As we learn to be more like Jesus by putting away all of our selfish ways, our marriages will improve dramatically. So, as Donna said, start focusing on serving, forgiving, and loving unconditionally and watch your marriage flourish. {Thank you, Donna, for the wonderful comment!!!}

Some men don't want submissive wives you Lori. Some men aren't dickheads like your precious Ken Unabomber. Some men actually like having their wives be equal to them.

[GeoBQn]

The problem I see with most of them is they give you a formula. Do this and this and then that, then your marriage will be great.

Pot, meet kettle.

[lilwriter85]

I forgot to add that I think this is the first time Lori has pimped out one of the non spanking Pearl books. Lori does have her hard on for Debi Pearl the helpmeet expert.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Men arent afraid of having submissive wives. Most men like having a partner who they can talk to, listen to and respect as an equal, not a servant who gives sex.

Debi Pearl is the worst person to ask for marriage advice-she married Michael after a few days of knowing him, and he turned out to be a sadistic, child beating lunatic. I think her book is just her desperately trying to justify why she stays with him even though their relationship seems creepy and abusive.

[Rita]

"God only creates beauty." WTF? Does her God not have anything to do with disease, violence, and death? And what about my favorite (but oh so hideously ugly) recliner? I feel that recliner, though not embodying any beauty, is near enough to a blessing to me for Lori's definition.

If her God only creates beauty, then he is working very closely with her devil, to create her, and everything else that is not pure beauty.

[AVENues]

If they so believe in belonging in the kitchen - why don't they stfu and go back to the kitchen, actually, like they think they should. If you are dumb and willfully give up your rights as a human being - go back to the kitchen and stop blogging.

[Maggie Mae]

So if a guy doesn't want a submissive wife, he's been "duped by the feminist movement." So women brainwashed men into wanting strong, independent women, yet we women are so stupid and girly that we shouldn't vote.

Whatever. I wish I could quit Lori.

[Anxious Girl]

She's still preaching on her blog? What a hypocritical unBiblical bitch! :naughty:

[VooDooChild]

"God only creates beauty." WTF? Does her God not have anything to do with disease, violence, and death? And what about my favorite (but oh so hideously ugly) recliner? I feel that recliner, though not embodying any beauty, is near enough to a blessing to me for Lori's definition.

If her God only creates beauty, then he is working very closely with her devil, to create her, and everything else that is not pure beauty.

Nope! That's all our fault because we sin, dontcha know. Or it's Satan. God allowed Job to be stricken by Satan with all sorts of crap to prove that Job would be faithful....if I remember correctly. Suffer for His glory. :?

Also, Lori is a dumb bitch.

[Hisey]

Debi Pearl "spanked me with her words"? Huh? Is this BDSM talk?

[Rainytown]

Debi Pearl "spanked me with her words"? Huh? Is this BDSM talk?

No, it's Christian-speak for "went after me like she was a starving Pit Bull and I was a steak". Another phrase commonly used in the church when one wants to flat-blast another person without fear of retaliation is "telling the truth in love".

I have never met anyone who could "tell the truth in love" without doing whatever they could to undermine and destroy another person's self-worth. It's not constructive criticism. It's all about dishing out as much hurt and humiliation as possible to another human being.

In the meantime, this "submissive wife" BS is exactly that: BS. It's giving a grown woman leave to act like a child so her husband can be the big man and not "worry her" with information she needs, like their financial health, whether or not he's faithful, or any ability to support herself.

Secure and functional men do not need a "submissive wife".

[AVENues]

Debi Pearl "spanked me with her words"? Huh? Is this BDSM talk?

Are all of these fundies kinky as heck?! :shock: :o They can't hold a speech without whipping out spanking somehow.

[MamaJunebug]

She's still preaching on her blog? What a hypocritical unBiblical bitch! :naughty:

OH, but it's only to the womenz and it's not in church, so it's okay. *rolleyes*

My eyes fell out their sockets almost when I read the one acolyte who says all her friends' marriages have been worse for having seen a counselor or going to a workshop. What are the odds she'd only know people who only found inept counselors? Odds she'd only know people who only went to bad workshops -- well, given the attitude toward marriage in the workshops these folks seek out, those are real good odds.

But there are excellent non-nouthetic counselors out there. Pity that responder's friends coudlnt' find any.

[nokidsmom]

No, it's Christian-speak for "went after me like she was a starving Pit Bull and I was a steak".

Ok, just covered my keyboard with my morning coffee when I read this one. :lol:

[kaetrin]

So marriage seminars are bad for women because it might give them the idea that husbands have a responsibility to behave in ways that contribute to marital harmony, beyond demanding and receiving submission? We can't let the little women get any expectations about decent behavior from their men. God forbid it not be all her fault, all the time.