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Jack Schaap: also a tool


Boltingmadonna

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Behold Jack Schaap polishing his tool. Seriously NSFW even though everyone keeps their clothes on. Words fail me. I don't even. God apparently is his Daddy--and I don't mean in a fatherly way. Check out the expressions of the men behind him. They seem simultaneously disturbed and transfixed.

http://youtu.be/Tr0UpQXYkGs

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I love the guy on the far left. He keeps looking out at the audience like "Shit, we are so getting letters about this."

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:shock: Just... :shock:

:laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling: :laughing-rolling:

Seriously, I can't stop :laughing-rolling:

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What makes this even better is that this was in front of a bunch of teens. :lol:

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:o :shock: :?

I can't hear men's voices when they talk low (and I had the volume maxed) and I couldn't understand his slurred shouting, so I don't know what the everlovingfuck that was about.

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:o :shock: :?

I can't hear men's voices when they talk low (and I had the volume maxed) and I couldn't understand his slurred shouting, so I don't know what the everlovingfuck that was about.

Having been raised IFB where the preachers tend to sound like this I had no problem understanding him , basically he says he lets God polish his shaft. Really, that is what he is saying.

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All that's missing is Meg Ryan pounding on the lectern screaming "Yes! Yes!" Followed by some responsive prayer where the whole congregation says "I'll have why they're having."

Srsly, What the everlovin' fuck!

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Having been raised IFB where the preachers tend to sound like this I had no problem understanding him , basically he says he lets God polish his shaft. Really, that is what he is saying.

Wha....well...uh....hmmm...is there a biblical reference to shaft polishing?

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Wha....well...uh....hmmm...is there a biblical reference to shaft polishing?

Just like the arrow maker will polish the roughness out of the shaft of the arrow God uses difficult times to polish all the sin out of our lives. So the guy preaching allows God to polish him like the shaft of an arrow. Except he makes this point in the most fucked up disturbing way ever.

I know IFB who defend this sermon and say that only people with dirty minds would get anything bad out of it. :roll:

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I couldn't even make it 30 seconds before I was laughing so hard I started coughing my lungs up and had to close it.

:shock: :lol:

I worry about anyone who can watch this with a straight face.

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He appears to be an expert and experienced shaft-polisher, that's fer sure. Prolly willing to give lessons to all the youth in that church.

Hey Jack, this smiley's for you!

2wankerxt2_zpsdf796220.gif

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I could not watch the whole thing. That first 45 seconds turned my spine to jelly and gave me the pearl-clutching vapors.

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I love the guy on the far left. He keeps looking out at the audience like "Shit, we are so getting letters about this."

He looks like he's measuring the distance to the closest door in hopes of making a break for it.

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He looks like he's measuring the distance to the closest door in hopes of making a break for it.

Too bad these wankers didn't serve in the Army. A skillfully-executed combat crawl would come in handy.

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I took a nap and am now able to use my words.

First of all, he was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too good at that, if you know what I'm saying.

Secondly, is polishing one's shaft what young fundie boys do prior to being able to have hand sex?

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