Ms. Graveyard Dirt (Naked Roast Sitter)

[nelliebelle1197]

The food looks nice til you realise its probably been covered in her bodily fluids or had contact with her vagina.

Does she disclose to her guests what she uses as special sauce?

[pixydust]

Does she disclose to her guests what she uses as special sauce?

Nope, and that is what is so "funny" about it. (Eye roll) she's nuts. Insanely hot body, but Batshit crazy.

[nelliebelle1197]

Nope, and that is what is so "funny" about it. (Eye roll) she's nuts. Insanely hot body, but Batshit crazy.

I went through as much of her tumblr/blog as I could stand. She is just gross.

[GodsKnickers]

She gives a whole new meaning to the phrase

meat curtains.

I have a question. While I was digging through her blog, for some incredibly strange reason, the theme song from Gilligan's Island started going through my head and I might have rewritten the lyrics, rather off the cuff. How risque is too risque for here? *paranoid* It's not too too bad - use of the word twat might be the worst word in the little poem. Am I ok to post it? With spoiler tags maybe?

[happy atheist]

Language is not generally something that needs to be hidden behind spoiler tags, especially in a thread about this crazy woman. If other posters object to certain terms, they'll let you know. Once we see what you've written, if we feel it crosses a line, a mod can add the spoiler tags.

[GodsKnickers]

Ok, thank you. Just wasn't sure. I have a pretty ribald sense of humor (not much is sacred, so to speak) and sometimes lose sight of the fact that other people don't share it. Thought perhaps I should ask first.

Anyway, to the tune of the Gilligan's Island theme song...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,

A tale of a roast beef tip

That started from this graveyard dirt

A crazy Tumblr blog.

Blogger was a crazy wench,

The roast was red and rare

She sat upon that hunk of beef

For a three hour grind, a three hour grind.

The grinding started getting rough,

The hunk of beef was humped,

She spread her haunches dripping ‘dew’

The roast beef nearly lost, the roast beef nearly lost.

The wench did grind her bloody twat all over New Year’s roast

With peppercorns

Some lemon too,

And rosemary and some thyme,

The mustard starred

There was garlic too!

On that meaty pile.

So this is the tale of the crazy wench,

She’s blogged a long long while,

She’ll have to grind a crown rib roast,

A royal meat defiled.

The interwebs and bloggers too,

Were totally aghast,

She made them all uncomfortable

On her roast humping quest.

No chicken breasts, no Hammy haunch

Not a single bacon strip,

Is good enough,

For her beefy humping quest.

So cast your eyes upon her blog

You're sure to get a shock

From crazy beef riding wench,

There on Orkney Isle…

[TheLurkingFrumper]

For some reason, I find the roast humping picture less disturbing then the pictures of the bread marked with menstrual blood on top "to help them rise." I mean, don't get me wrong, they both make me wish I'd stabbed my eyes out instead of looked at them, but the bloody bread icks me out more.

[Dinger]

For some reason, I find the roast humping picture less disturbing then the pictures of the bread marked with menstrual blood on top "to help them rise." I mean, don't get me wrong, they both make me wish I'd stabbed my eyes out instead of looked at them, but the bloody bread icks me out more.

Hellfire, thankfully I missed that one :shock:

[Joan of Snarc]

That was a bloody brilliant song, GodsKnickers. I sang the whole thing in my head.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

That was a bloody brilliant song, GodsKnickers. I sang the whole thing in my head.

Indeed!!! Gives "ground beef" a whole new image, too... :lol:

[Maggie Mae]

I made corned beef and cabbage last night. When I pulled the meat out of the package, I resisted the urge to hump it. Later, I went for a walk and did not photograph my bare ass. It was very easy to not do these things.

[meda]

How did I miss a thread devoted to my namesake? I love this woman. Sparkle on you crazy diamond. :dance:

[keen23]

I made corned beef and cabbage last night. When I pulled the meat out of the package, I resisted the urge to hump it. Later, I went for a walk and did not photograph my bare ass. It was very easy to not do these things.

But you did visit your local, phallically shaped natural monuments on your walk? Otherwise, I think you're kind of slacking off. I expect you also resisted the urge to pee on everything on your walk as well. It's a shame. :snooty:

[2xx1xy1JD]

Any possible chance that she didn't REALLY serve that roast, but somehow thought that this would be a great feminist response to the liver scene in Portnoy's Complaint?

[Portnoy's Complaint is a book by Philip Roth, in which the main character, as a horny teen boy, masturbates with a piece of liver which his mother later serves for dinner. Parts of the book are funny, but it's also pretty disturbing on many levels, not to mention being somewhat misogynist in parts.]

[salex]

Any possible chance that she didn't REALLY serve that roast, but somehow thought that this would be a great feminist response to the liver scene in Portnoy's Complaint?

[Portnoy's Complaint is a book by Philip Roth, in which the main character, as a horny teen boy, masturbates with a piece of liver which his mother later serves for dinner. Parts of the book are funny, but it's also pretty disturbing on many levels, not to mention being somewhat misogynist in parts.]

As a complete aside, I need to get Portnoy's Complaint and reread it--- it was one of the first books I got from the "grown up" library when I was first allowed to move up from the "kids' library". I honestly didn't "get" most of it at probably 11ish years of age. But I do remember the liver and a few other bits from the book. I am sure my mom had no idea what I was reading, LOL>

[thoughtful]

I don't know why you meanies refer to her as the naked roast sitter.

I've seen that picture, and she is clearly not naked.

The woman is wearing socks -- socks, I tell you! See (it's not the whole picture, I promise - just a bit of tooshy and a socked foot):

:D