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Men Aren't Supposed To Do Housework


lilwriter85

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Lori would shit if she came to my house. I do most of the cleaning, though the Mr. sometimes gets zealous with the vacuum. He does 90% of the dishes and almost all the laundry. I do about 75% of the cooking right now because of our respective schedules, though he is an excellent cook and enjoys cooking. We share yard work when my health allows. He is in charge of carpentry-type repairs, I am in charge of plumbing-type repairs. I am responsible for all vermin control (mostly ants, but there has been the occasional mouse). He does most of the car maintenance except for checking tire pressure and inflating when necessary, because I'm good at that and he isn't.

Why, it's almost like we choose tasks based on our unique abilities and interests, not on gender roles!

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You know what it's called Lori? It's called taking care of your possessions. If all your possessions are God's blessings for your uberness, then I'm sure He would appreciate that you appreciate His gifts by taking care of them. Since He gave your jackass husband the job in which to purchase those possessions, then (according to your twisted logic) all your shit belongs to your husband. Therefore, he should honor God by taking care of that which God gave him. The possession of a penis does not exempt him from this. Jacob stayed home with Rachel and helped with the housework. If its good enough for that biblical patriarch, it's good enough for your jackass husband.

FFS!!

edit: for spacing

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I'm probably an outlier here in that I've never expected my husband to do any housework. Lori is mistaken, however, in her apparent belief that all marriages can successfully follow a single and specific pattern for the division of labor. It's also troubling that she never expected much housework from her sons: Cleaning is a basic life-skill.

I'm outlying with you, Burris. My husband works and I'm a disabled housewife/once-a-week contributing blogger. I consider all of the housework to be my "job" because a) I enjoy it, b) I'm home, and c) it pisses me off to see Mr Burps have to clean after spending all day at work (because of a and b.) That doesn't stop him from trying to be helpful, though, and I often catch him trying to sneak into the kitchen to clean it after I make a big weekend breakfast or dinner. :naughty:

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This is so strange to think of housework as merely women's work. Many men live without wives and mothers....are they suppose to tough it out and live in a pig sty? And what kind of "catch" is a guy that he can't take care of himself?

My uncle grew up in the 60's in China. He can cook very well, clean, hand wash all his clothes, and he sews for his family. Plus, he's a self-taught handyman, which was parlayed into a lucrative fix-it business. My father also grew up in the 60's in China. He can also cook very well, can keep a decently clean house, hand wash all his clothes, and he's an amateur carpenter. He built my parents' dresser and couch when they married. These were necessary skills because "stuff" was expensive and everyone had to utilize their talents to have a running household.

I think Lori's attitude that she needs to save her precious males from doing women's work is a luxury born of modern convenience. You can afford to have this attitude when you have running water, electricity time-saving devices. My grandmothers lived in a time with no indoor plumbing, no fridges/washing machine/dishwasher, no disposable diapers or strollers and lots and lots of children. You enrolled everyone over the age of 8 to do chores.

It a major life skill to be able to keep your living area clean. I guess it's weird for me to hear a mother brag that she never taught or expect her boys to do household chores. Furthermore, if they had to live alone for an extended period, it will be difficult to convince even fundie girls they are good catches. How are girls suppose to look after to guys who are incapable of taking care of their OWN HOMES. If these men are suppose to be headships, they have to show more than the ability to have a penis. Can Lori honestly say that her sons can compete with guys who can do housework AND hold a job? Even with fundie girls, it's not a "perk" to marry a guy who is a slob, who can't vacuum or keep his area clean.

I think Lori is missing the point of having kids take part in chores. Children who've always had someone else clean up tend to be slobs when they live away from their "cleaners". Even if her sons were wonderful husbands and helped around the house when their wives are sick, it still wouldn't mean a clean home.

If a child is never taught to clean, when they are forced to as adults, it's harder for them to keep a clean house. I do not want to marry a person who struggles to keep the walkway free of clothing, who piles on the dishes so high it stinks up the kitchen, or who doesn't know how to clean the toilet bowel. If I'm sick, the last thing I need to worry about is the state of house each day I'm in bed. Keeping house is a habit best instilled as a child. Lori is doing her sons a huge disservice when she has such low expectations of her sons. She's not teaching them to be a man. She's teaching them to be slobs.

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I want to meet Lori in Real Life and see if she is as horrible to talk to in person.

That being said, I live with my boyfriend who does 90% of the cooking and all of the kitchen cleaning. I empty the dishwasher if I'm feeling particularly motivated. This is because he lived in the house first and most of the dishes are his and I don't know where everything is/goes; and because he enjoys cooking much more than I do. He also has a much more refined palette, due to differences in our backgrounds. We never make the bed because he doesn't care and I get up first and leave for work (late) after him. We take turns with the floors but I try to make him clean the floors more often because it's his pet bird that makes the messes. I clean the bathroom because I'm the one who clogs the bathtub drain with hair and because he does the kitchen. We work the same hours and only "parent" a part-time cat (stray/semi-feral) and a macaw. If only I could train the bird to pick up his own messes. I mean, he has the intelligence of a two year old with special needs, right? Maybe if I hit him with plumbing line he'll stop squawking.

I don't understand why Fundies can't/won't understand that people are different.

Furthermore, when I was growing up, my dad stayed home and did the laundry (even folded it) and the cooking (not gourmet, but not TTC and Hamburger helper either) and the groceries and the driving. Because he was disabled and my mom worked.

In fact, I am pretty sure every woman on my mom's side of the family worked, including my grandmother, who died two years ago, well into her 90s. Once her children were old enough to watch themselves, she got a job in retail. My two aunts both had/have jobs outside the home.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder what stay-at-home people (who aren't disabled or elderly) do all day. I can clean my entire house on my lunch break (and have done so). My mom gets bored to death when her job forces her to take some time off and she didn't make plans to go somewhere. The house gets clean by noon, cooking is done, and that just leaves time to play with the cats and wander around bored until it's time to make dinner. If you have young children, that's understandable, but what do the stay-at-home wives do? Wake up, cook, clean, yoga? Run a marathon a day? Watch every season of every show? No wonder they all blog about nothing.

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I want to meet Lori in Real Life and see if she is as horrible to talk to in person.

That being said, I live with my boyfriend who does 90% of the cooking and all of the kitchen cleaning. I empty the dishwasher if I'm feeling particularly motivated. This is because he lived in the house first and most of the dishes are his and I don't know where everything is/goes; and because he enjoys cooking much more than I do. He also has a much more refined palette, due to differences in our backgrounds. We never make the bed because he doesn't care and I get up first and leave for work (late) after him. We take turns with the floors but I try to make him clean the floors more often because it's his pet bird that makes the messes. I clean the bathroom because I'm the one who clogs the bathtub drain with hair and because he does the kitchen. We work the same hours and only "parent" a part-time cat (stray/semi-feral) and a macaw. If only I could train the bird to pick up his own messes. I mean, he has the intelligence of a two year old with special needs, right? Maybe if I hit him with plumbing line he'll stop squawking.

I don't understand why Fundies can't/won't understand that people are different.

Furthermore, when I was growing up, my dad stayed home and did the laundry (even folded it) and the cooking (not gourmet, but not TTC and Hamburger helper either) and the groceries and the driving. Because he was disabled and my mom worked.

In fact, I am pretty sure every woman on my mom's side of the family worked, including my grandmother, who died two years ago, well into her 90s. Once her children were old enough to watch themselves, she got a job in retail. My two aunts both had/have jobs outside the home.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder what stay-at-home people (who aren't disabled or elderly) do all day. I can clean my entire house on my lunch break (and have done so). My mom gets bored to death when her job forces her to take some time off and she didn't make plans to go somewhere. The house gets clean by noon, cooking is done, and that just leaves time to play with the cats and wander around bored until it's time to make dinner. If you have young children, that's understandable, but what do the stay-at-home wives do? Wake up, cook, clean, yoga? Run a marathon a day? Watch every season of every show? No wonder they all blog about nothing.

I'm wondering about that too. I suspect based on some of her writings about friends and relatives that she mostly associates with people like her and Ken. She wrote about daughter's mother-in-law being "servant". But I bet she keeps quiet when she encounters men that aren't like Ken or who go against her beliefs on certain subjects. One of my favorite moments from Lori's blog was when she posted about stay-at-home dads and a few stay at home dads posted comments. In real life, I think she would keep quiet if she met men who told her they don't mind housework or staying home with kids. This might sound cruel of me, I hope some guy who is stay at home dad or likes doing housework meets up with Lori someday and rips her apart for her gender role beliefs.

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Interesting. Following a stint in the Navy, when my dad was in college he wound up rooming with two students from Asia (what two Chinese men were doing studying in North Dakota is a question for another time). Evidently they came from well to do families with servants and so flat out refused to clean up a thing as that was 'women's work'. The place was rapidly degenerating into a sty. So my dad, the former farm boy (who grew up with a stay-at-home mom, but still managed to learn how to keep things tidy) made them a deal. He'd clean if they'd cook (apparently cooking was 'men's work' in the roomies' families...restauranteers, maybe?). Apparently everyone was happy with the plan. The apartment got cleaned, my dad didn't feel his manhood was somehow destroyed in the doing, but he got regular access to tasty Chinese food (which was utterly impossible to find in the 1960s in North Dakota).

As another interesting point. My dad can sew. He didn't know how to, but when I was a kid he decided to learn. Of course he didn't start out with something super simple. Nope. He bought a book, studied it, set to work and poof! He presented me with a new collared school blouse with buttonholes and everything. Have you ever heard of someone learning to sew that way? He also learned how to make French onion soup and make homemaid (5-strand braided) bread the same way. Develop Plan, Read Directional Manual, Create Stuff. Such an engineer.

Well, that is how I learned to knit... and I started with socks.

My guy friend learned to sew the same way, except he does more doing than studying, but it's just different learning styles.

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I can learn just about anything from a book. Its just a weird knack I have. I have been learning to sew and quilt from other people.

If I stayed at home, I wouldn't have my husband clean much, because itd be my job, just like his job would be to go to work. Since we both work full time, we both have to do house work.

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While talking to my mom earlier, my 16 month old nephew found a piece of trash, picked it up and threw it in the garbage can. Is he being started too young?

My brother is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and housework. And he does it when needed too. My dad isn't so good at housework, but it's mainly because he has his own "good enough" that isn't quite at the "good enough" for most people. He can do it, just don't expect a polished job. However, he's an amazing cook. We always looked forward to his cooking over my mom's. (not that hers is bad, but he's really good most of the time when he cooks a real meal.)

I'm single. I have to take care of myself, and I'm fine at it, and even as a female, I'm not a wonderful housekeeper- better than dad, not as good as mom or my sister. BUT one of my last relationships broke up when I realized that he was going to want me to take care of him. Not gonna happen, we're going to share duties, I can weld a power tool when needed, he can cook when needed and the opposite.

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I'll tell you what happens. You end up raising men like my father who had to call my mother at the hospital while she was labor to ask how to make a sandwich.

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I think this is one of her statements that bothers me the most. Where is the wife supposed to go to find a safe, peaceful place after a hard day of working around the house? Oh yeah, women don't matter and they don't get any peace, rest, and special treatment.

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Dennis Prager has a male/female hour every week. On a recent program, he said that we shouldn't expect the males in our life to do much housework because most men don't think it is a masculine thing to do. Wow! Maybe I wasn't so far off base!

Does this strike anyone else as letting your kids stay up late because they think it would be a childlike thing to do?

All of the Proverbs 31 woman's work revolved around the home. The man's job is to provide a living for the family. It is pretty clear in Scripture what the ideal roles are for a family. We should always strive for the ideal and teach it.

How are your vineyards, Lori? Done any spinning lately?

However, I enjoy taking care of the home. God has blessed me with a nice home and wonderful family. I feel like it is my job to take care of it. Most women need to learn to enjoy it since it is definitely a feminine role.

If it's definitely a feminine role, then why do we need to learn to enjoy it? Shouldn't we just naturally enjoy it? I mean, who doesn't love a job that's messed up as soon as you've done it?

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My great-grandfather was one of the most dignified gentlemen I've ever known. He always looked like he'd stepped out of the 1940's and wore collared shirts and dress pants even in the hottest summer. Yet, he regularly and happily helped my grandmother with housework. When his son (my grandfather) was a teenager, he also helped my great-grandmother with housework. I remember her telling me on several occasions that my grandpa made "such beautiful envelope corners" when he made beds. Lori is out of her mind. She has absolutely no concept of real masculinity.

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Lori's views on masculinity are very stereotypical. She did a whole posting one time about how women should be ok if men don't talk much or yell during sporting event. I know many who are very talkative in certain situations and I know men who don't yell much during sporting events. Lori's extremely stereotypical views will eventually end up biting her in ass someday.

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How are your vineyards, Lori? Done any spinning lately?

That's the problem with the recent take on Proverbs 31. It was written about a time the woman worked from home because the home was the workplace. If you read the chapter, the woman makes investments, products, ect. So she would be a working woman today.

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Just thinking too, that there is a big group of manly men who know how to clean... we call them the military. Whether or not they do it at home, every single last one of them knows how to accomplish Operation Clean.

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I read the article, and this thought crossed my mind. Perhaps the divorce rate is higher among the "modern" couples because the woman isn't going to take shit? How many of the fundies, who have clearly defined gender roles (whatever they might be), would divorce? How many of the women are willing to step outside of their comfort zone? And how many are truly capable of making it on their own? They have nothing to fall back on. Submissive women (and I don't mean in the bedroom) tend to be doormats. At least all the ones I know are.

So yeah, maybe modern couples are more likely to divorce, but at least the "modern" woman tends to be happier.

As far as Lori goes, she is a dumbass. I feel for her kids. Sons who don't know how to do laundry, or simples household tasks. Damn, the first time the wife gets sick and has to go to the hospital, he will fall apart. Oh, wait, that's right, fundie brides never get sick.

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That's the problem with the recent take on Proverbs 31. It was written about a time the woman worked from home because the home was the workplace. If you read the chapter, the woman makes investments, products, ect. So she would be a working woman today.

Not to mention that the Proverbs 31 Woman had employees. Not untrained and undersized child-laborers, actual paid staff. Maybe just paid with bed and board and clothes for the season, but still, adults to help share the load.

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Lori's views on masculinity are very stereotypical. She did a whole posting one time about how women should be ok if men don't talk much or yell during sporting event. I know many who are very talkative in certain situations and I know men who don't yell much during sporting events. Lori's extremely stereotypical views will eventually end up biting her in ass someday.

Is my husband unmanly because he thinks sports are dull?

And what is so manly about being a helpless baby in a man suit? Calling your wife, while she is laboring, because you don't know how to make yourself a sandwich? That's an act of colossal self-centeredness and culpable ignorance that I would expect out of some fourteen-year-old goober--once.

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