GOP - Divorce encourages teenage promiscuity MERGED

[2xx1xy1JD]

Speaking about his granddaughter, whose parents recently divorced, Gassman said, "There's a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous? What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?"

Ew, gross. I cannot in a million years, ever conceive of my late grandfather saying something that disgusting about me.

Aside from that - I find that the divorce itself is the last step in a long process of marriage breakdown. Whenever I complete applications for uncontested divorce here, I'm require to comply with section 9 of the Divorce Act (Canada):

9. (1) It is the duty of every barrister, solicitor, lawyer or advocate who undertakes to act on behalf of a spouse in a divorce proceeding

(a) to draw to the attention of the spouse the provisions of this Act that have as their object the reconciliation of spouses, and

(b) to discuss with the spouse the possibility of the reconciliation of the spouses and to inform the spouse of the marriage counselling or guidance facilities known to him or her that might be able to assist the spouses to achieve a reconciliation,

unless the circumstances of the case are of such a nature that it would clearly not be appropriate to do so.

So, in less than a minute, I explain that I have to run through this speech, mention that I could refer them to a marriage counselor if they wish, and throw in that I assume what they've told me that reconciliation is not a possibility. Not once has any client of mine who reached this stage suddenly said, "you know, maybe I will think about marriage counseling". They'll try it before separating, or give it a go after a brief separation, or even reconcile sometime after both of them receive the shock of lawyers' bills, but by the time they've been apart for over a year and done a Separation Agreement or battled in court, it's over.

I've seen some studies suggesting that girls from loving, stable homes are somewhat less likely to act out sexually at a really young age, but simply making divorce harder won't change that.

Making divorce harder does not prevent or fix bad marriages. It doesn't do a thing if the parents were never legally married. It doesn't prevent mental illness or substance abuse. It doesn't make it any easier to cope with constant fighting and verbal abuse. It doesn't prevent a spouse from simply leaving. It doesn't mean that a father will suddenly have a great relationship with a daughter.

It will, however, make it harder to leave bad relationships, which can leave kids desperate to escape an unhappy home. It can also provide more of an incentive throw dirt in court proceedings. I have no idea how getting parents to spend more money on needlessly bitter court battles helps children.

[Sarahsahara]

Well my parents have been happily married for 35 years, who can I blame for my promiscuity?

[cjsmom]

Well my parents have been happily married for 35 years, who can I blame for my promiscuity?

The feminists/muslims/Obama/universal healthcare/public education... plenty of things to pick from to blame! :)

My parents divorced when I was 16. Easy for me to attribute blame! /flex

[Full enough quiver]

I think some people need to learn the difference between correllation and causation. Just because sometimes two things may appear to go together, doesn't mean that there's a causal relationship. Assuming that children of divorced parents are more promiscuous, there could be several possible causes. Maybe the divorce has led to less supervision at home. Maybe she feels like dad doesn't love her anymore, and is seeking validation from men. Maybe he is just a normal teen with raging hormones, and the timing is a coincidence. Maybe he's angry at his parents and is rebelling. Maybe she is hoping to get pregnant to have someone to love who won't leave. The point is, that the issues were present prior to the actual divorce filing, and forcing two people who don't want to be together to stay married won't help. What would help is improved access to mental health services for family/marriage counseling, or individual counseling before things reached a point of no return. Maybe encouraging mediation could help with keeping things amicable. Making sure that as long as both parents are safe people, that the child spends plenty of time with both parents, that visitation and child/spousal support is amicably agreed upon. Making divorce harder helps no one, and could even cause serious harm, such as in a domestic abuse situation.