These 30 symptoms say that your uterus is out of position

[Jinger Jar]

So my plantar fasciitis is caused by my flapping uterus. That has to mean that the cushion insoles I wear in my shoes are keeping my uterus in place, amiright?

Must bring this up with my podiatrist...

[Marian the Librarian]

Damn! I think mine took off last night with the car keys!! :lol:

[DarkAnts]

Damn! I think mine took off last night with the car keys!! :lol:

No, that was Curious. She made you loose them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Damn! I think mine took off last night with the car keys!! :lol:

Are you sure youre not Michelle Duggar? :P

[crazyforkate]

I want to send this to a real gynecologist (maybe Dr. Amy?) and see what he or she has to say about it. Or maybe just film the look on their face for YouTube.

(I have a tipped uterus, and my biggest problem is mild cramping - which is apparently abnormal now?)

[dairyfreelife]

I want to send this to a real gynecologist (maybe Dr. Amy?) and see what he or she has to say about it. Or maybe just film the look on their face for YouTube.

(I have a tipped uterus, and my biggest problem is mild cramping - which is apparently abnormal now?)

I also have tipped or tilted uterus. It can cause a little trouble with sex and maybe conceiving, but it won't cause infertility or any other issues. Certain even my GP would think wtf to her nonsense.

[Claddagh]

1.Painful periods (Your period is not suppossed to hurt! Cramping is NOT normal! I had no idea until last weekend!)

My uterus gets angry and hostile when it's that time of the month. It's those times I wish it would run away.

[auntsally28]

After four kids my uterus is a little out of sorts. However my back back is due to falling off chairs after a second glass of wine which is a Friday night essential after a long week....I am a lightweight... :-D

[Cannelle]

Painful periods (Your period is not suppossed to hurt! Cramping is NOT normal! I had no idea until last weekend!)

So the vast, vast majority of women who have experienced cramping at least once in their lives, they're just doin' it RONG, right?

I've had quite a few of those- migraines, for instance, but I'm sure it's just my uterus and not the fact that I have a strong genetic predisposition towards migraines (I'm just glad I got off easier than the other women in my family), lower back pain (couldn't possibly be the L5 that is currently jammed right into my spine and pressing on my S1 nerve, gotta be the uterus), depression (your brain can't break! It definitely can't get tumors or make you have seizures or anything like that, so depression must be caused by the uterus!), frequent urination (absolutely not my ridiculously small bladder, just my uterus)...

Wait, sore heals when walking? Which sore? And how quickly does it heal?

Seriously, that's the stupidest list I've ever read.

[OneQuill]

No wonder I had a hysterectomy a few years ago. I know where my uterus went!

[Buzzard]

Check out this list. Does any of the resonate with you? They probably do. About 90% of women are walking around right now with their uterus out of place.

Ridiculous statistics - the first hint that what you're being told is complete and utter bullshit.

Isn’t that INSANE?! In the class, I felt like I was having my mind blown every 45 minutes. Every time I take a course or class or get certified in something I feel so grateful to have access to information that has been lost in recent generations. I am dedicated more than ever to finding ancient and traditional wisdom to heal myself and help heal other women.

Yes, it is completely and totally insane. This is the second hint that what you are being told is complete and utter bullshit. The informtion that was "lost" in generations is for good reason. There is no magic cure to life that someone's great grandmother just "forgot" to write down before they got on the Titanic.

I will be writing about this topic more in the coming months, but I strongly suggest if any of these things are happening to you, you find a therapist who does Mayan Massage. It is SUCH an easy fix. You will feel better immediately, but depending on how long your uterus has been out of place and the severity of the displacement, it could take several months before you are 100%.

All other massage therapists, gynos, general drs, chiros etc are completely unable to help you. Only the Mayan massage scammers therapists have identified this problem that 90% of all women have and found a way to fix it. :doh:

From her response in the comments:

Stephanie says:

March 3, 2013 at 7:18 pm

So glad you were able to read this! And so sad that Dr’s. don’t know more about traditional wisdom and care. Best bet is to always see a holistic practioner first and a doctor second.

Yes, definitely. Always go to someone with an actual MD after you consult someone who took a class in a stip mall.

[Curious]

All other massage therapists, gynos, general drs, chiros etc are completely unable to help you. Only the Mayan massage scammers therapists have identified this problem that 90% of all women have and found a way to fix it. :doh:

Wait. So the cure for your unruly uterus is to have a Mayan Massage? How does that put your uterus on the straight and narrow again? What stops your uterus from just flapping around out of place again after you've had your Magic Mayan Massage?

Holy this is apparently a real thing. It was on oprah and O would never lie to us, right? http://www.oprah.com/health/What-Is-Arv ... -Daphne-Oz

[Wolfie]

I've had quite a few of those- migraines, for instance, but I'm sure it's just my uterus and not the fact that I have a strong genetic predisposition towards migraines (I'm just glad I got off easier than the other women in my family)

Wait, what does this mean for men like my brother who get migraines? (yeah, MOST of the family gets migraines on that side, he's not the only man with them in our family either.) Does that mean that my brother has a hidden uterus?

[crazyforkate]

This reminds me of that "MY VAGINA'S ANGRY!" monologue from The Vagina Monologues. Guys, we've got to treat our uteri better. That means NO uterus tipping. (Which I picture to be exactly like cow tipping, complete with mooing reproductive organs.)

[Wolfie]

Holy this is apparently a real thing. It was on oprah and O would never lie to us, right? http://www.oprah.com/health/What-Is-Arv ... -Daphne-Oz

look at who wrote that, it's made the circle back to Dr. Oz. (it is his daughter)

[Buzzard]

look at who wrote that, it's made the circle back to Dr. Oz. (it is his daughter)

Christ I cant stand that guy. Is there anything Tumeric wont cure???

[Wolfie]

Christ I cant stand that guy. Is there anything Tumeric wont cure???

Didn't Lori burn her blood or something with it?

[cenarose]

This reminds me of that "MY VAGINA'S ANGRY!" monologue from The Vagina Monologues. Guys, we've got to treat our uteri better. That means NO uterus tipping. (Which I picture to be exactly like cow tipping, complete with mooing reproductive organs.)

mooing reproductive organs

That is the best thing I have ever read. Ever. I have a tipped uterus and that is how I shall imagine it from now on.

[docmom]

Check out this list. Does any of the resonate with you? They probably do. About 90% of women are walking around right now with their uterus out of place.

Anytime 90% of the population has anything, it is considered normal. It's the other 10% with "correctly placed" uteri that are actually the abnormal ones. Oh, and the dark blood at the beginning and end of menstruation- that's old blood and that's how it's supposed to look.

Actually I'm quite happy for this nut to go to her holistic healer first, but really she can skip the step of bugging an actual MD for a second opinion.

[chaotic life]

See, I'm doing it all wrong. While the Thai massage and hot stones and stretching manuevers my massage therapists uses might feel AMAZING, he is not trained in Mayan massage, so I guess he just cannot help me at all.

Of course, he has never told me to not see my doctor and only see him or holistic practitioners. Furthermore, he monitors his clients for blood pressure issues because if you currently have high blood pressure he will NOT do deep tissue massage, since the combination can cause blood clots.

I might argue he is being a responsible massage therapist, but clearly she knows better. He's just not putting enough faith in his services. HE should be able to cure my thyroid and not just keep my stress levels down. In fact, if he just learned the correct techniques, he could handle my tipped uterus and all would be well in my world again!

[Trynn]

My mom was constantly told (60s/70s) that If she just exercised more, she wouldn't have such awful period cramps. She later found out she had a tilted uterus. The cure? Having me. (No, that's not why she had me, it was just a welcome side affect.) I've no Idea if that's the same problem I have or not, but, as I'm not ready for a child, I decided that birth control would be a preferred option. I guess it knocked my uterus back Into alignment.

[salex]

mamaandbabylove.com/2013/03/01/is-your-uterus-where-its-supposed-to-be/

What scares me the most is that the symptoms range from normal to what could be cancer, and everything in between.

Last weekend I took an introductory course to Mayan Massage. It was so wonderful, a room full of midwives, massage therapists, herbalists and healers from around the country. At this level, it was all about self healing and learning how to do the massage on myself to put my uterus back into place. Mine was displaced to the left (leaning over and bent down. It’s not back to normal yet, but I did feel a huge transformation just getting up and more to the center where it should be. At the next course level, I will be able to add this to my reportoire in my private massage/healing practice, and I am super excited about that.

OKdo Fundies get into this "mayan massage" stuff? And, since we know they don't use much prenatal care, or always real midwives, would they be doing this kind of thing instead of going to see a gynocologist every year or so?

[docmom]

Last weekend I took an introductory course to Mayan Massage. It was so wonderful, a room full of midwives, massage therapists, herbalists and healers from around the country. At this level, it was all about self healing and learning how to do the massage on myself to put my uterus back into place. Mine was displaced to the left (leaning over and bent down. It’s not back to normal yet, but I did feel a huge transformation just getting up and more to the center where it should be. At the next course level, I will be able to add this to my reportoire in my private massage/healing practice, and I am super excited about that.

OKdo Fundies get into this "mayan massage" stuff? And, since we know they don't use much prenatal care, or always real midwives, would they be doing this kind of thing instead of going to see a gynocologist every year or so?

How are they feeling their uteri? In the non-pregnant woman, you really can't feel the uterus unless you are doing a simultaneous vaginal exam- then you can push down from the top and up from below and feel it between your fingers. I am intrigued by the thought of a bunch of fundie women doing self-vaginal exams in a room full of people.

[Buzzard]

This just in!

While cleaning my garage this morning, looking for a dog leash, I found a dusty old box. At first I ignored it, but a voice kept whispering "open it, then get a snickers." I got a snickers and slowly opened the box, inside lay the long hidden secrets of BIBLICAL MASSAGE!!! I cant believe someone would have left it there, forgotten!

I have now decided to rent out some space at the local Y and invite EVERYONE to come and learn the secrets of BIBLICAL MASSAGE! For only $99 for 3 classes (of a 15 part course) you too can learn how to move your stomach with your mind, ending the need for eating! Did you know that 99% of people are hungry? With your MIND and a few positional changes you can move it above your diaphragm, making it so small that you're never hungry! Sure, it puts pressure on your heart but YOU WONT BE HUNGRY! Biblical massage teaches that the only food you need is the WORD and a downward dog-like position!

Learn the long lost secrets of how to make your feet just the right size to fit into awesome pumps! All it takes are these rocks I found in the backyard. They can be yours for just $39.99!

Do you need glasses? Not anymore! By rubbing this holy oil (also found in my garage) $59.99 on the small of your back you can increase bloodflow to your brain, making your vision perfect!

AMEN HALLELUJAH!!! BLESSED BE ALL THINGS AND SNICKERS! AMEN!

[Just_Jane]

I sort of wish my uterus would displace itself from my body tonight. oh wait because I am crampy it means it is displaced. I think Doctors Ben and Jerry can solve this issue with some sort of ice cream.