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Purity: Never Too Young For Protection


twin2

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I have a fake FB account that I use to lurk on the fundies who are dumb enough to have public pages. However, I also use it to check out former classmates who are also dumb enough to have public pages. I came across a few former classmates of mine who grew up, got married and became fundie-lite. The dad's banner across his page is a pic of him and his 7 blessing with that freaking quiverull quote. Anyways, he posted a pic about taking his daughter on their first "daddy-daughter dance". His wife responded with the following:

****** was so proud and excited to be going on a date with her Daddy! And I think **** was equally excited, as he diligently planned a very purposeful, special, and super-fun night with his little Princess. Purity pin, love letters from Daddy, professional pictures... I cried tears of joy as they drove away. So thankful for a very intentional husband and Daddy!

Purity pin? She is like 6. Why in the hell is someone worried about the purity of a 6 year old? Most depressing was there were like a 100 likes and about 50 comments about how "precious and adorable" it all was. I wanted to puke, I can only hope they all just read past the "purity pin" part.. I so wished I had a real FB account so I could friend her, rip her for the purity pin, and be promptly de-friended.

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**shudders**

Thats creepy and wrong. How can a 6 year old know they wont have sex before marriage, most 6 year olds dont even know what sex is, and the ones that do think "EEEWWWWW Im not doing that"

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**shudders**

Thats creepy and wrong. How can a 6 year old know they wont have sex before marriage, most 6 year olds dont even know what sex is, and the ones that do think "EEEWWWWW Im not doing that"

Agree! That is gross! Why did he do it so young? I thought Fundie men didn't do that till their kids till after their "monthly friend" came.

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LOVE LETTERS FROM DADDY? These people are so seriously fucked up.

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Agree! That is gross! Why did he do it so young? I thought Fundie men didn't do that till their kids till after their "monthly friend" came.

It is a purity pin (which I have not heard of before), not a purity ring. I'm sure she will get that in another special ceremony when she become a woman. Ugh.

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LOL.

She's six for fuck's sake! Jesus on a cracker....are fundies THAT fucked up about sex that they gotta make sure the little ones are locked in to make some future quivers?

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My girls are 12 and 14, and I've always been very open with them about sexual topics from a very early age, building up to bigger topics gradually according to their ages. They (usually the older one) can ask me anything, and I tell them the truth. Many times something a friend said, or maybe a tv show we've watched together will lead to a discussion. One thing I have always told them is that sex is normal and natural, and that wanting to have sex doesn't make you a bad person, and not wanting it doesn't make you weird. They know that sex doesnt equal love. We don't use the word "slut" in my house. When we talk about someone who is promiscuous, we talk about why they engage in this behavior. We also talk about how sex is very powerful, and needs to be saved for a time that you are ready for the strong emotions that can come with it, as well as possible pregnancy/stds. They know about condoms, and birth control. They know that if they get pregnant, they will be loved and supported no matter what they decide to do. They know that bad choices will always be forgiven. They know theyre loved no matter what. They know that their worth as women has nothing to do with the state of their hymens, and everything to do with the state of their hearts.

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LOL.

She's six for fuck's sake! Jesus on a cracker....are fundies THAT fucked up about sex that they gotta make sure the little ones are locked in to make some future quivers?

And then they complain about the secular world sexualising little kids. The mind boggles. :|

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I have a six year old. We've been very open with her about where babies come from. Honestly she's not that interested. She would have absolutely no fucking clue what a purity pin was or what it meant. She'd probably be excited about a new dress and some one-on-one with Daddy but sex and "saving herself for marriage" would be non-sensical. Anyway we have no desire to project any of our sexual hangups on our 6 year old.

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I think fundies and their purity talk is similar to other families' talks about sex. You know, a responsible parent would speak to their kids about safe sex, masturbation, bodily changes etc before they hit puberty so they know what to expect. Fundies, instead, spend the per-pubescent years talking about how NOT to have sex, that sex is bad! bad! bad! and that birth control will kill your babies, and give you cancer. The daddy-daughter dance is a way to confer the importance of not having sex from a young age. For fundies, "purity" is elevated above every other virtue. They start young so as to better cement this idea.

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Jesus on a cracker....

We need an event where we all get dressed up, and present each other with "Jesus on a cracker" pins while the others look on solemnly.

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If my husband had expressed an interest in dating his daughters when they were six, I would have had a conversation with law enforcement.

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Fathers, have you talked to your six-year-old girls about their hymens recently?

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I think fundies and their purity talk is similar to other families' talks about sex. You know, a responsible parent would speak to their kids about safe sex, masturbation, bodily changes etc before they hit puberty so they know what to expect. Fundies, instead, spend the per-pubescent years talking about how NOT to have sex, that sex is bad! bad! bad! and that birth control will kill your babies, and give you cancer. The daddy-daughter dance is a way to confer the importance of not having sex from a young age. For fundies, "purity" is elevated above every other virtue. They start young so as to better cement this idea.

I think there's a lot to this idea. Preparing the child for the world that the parents expect the child to grow up into- and if fundies expect the child to have to deal with a world with overexaggerated sexual depravity and temptation at every corner, then it's (almost) reasonable for them to spend a lot of their time preparing their children for the dangers that lurk outside the confines of their environment.

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Purity pin? Love letters from Daddy? A six year old? OMFG WTH! That is just beyond twisted and creepy. Seriously...WTF??

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I think there's something very telling in the obsession and focus on little girls' potential sexual life. There's nothing normal about that, not to the extent that the fundies take it.

edited to add: yay, I love frumpers now! But I am no longer a speshul snowflake. :(

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I feel so sorry for those girls and boys who are not aloud to explore their sexuality until they are thrown into it on their wedding night. I can understand that some choose to save themselves until they are married, but to not even kiss?! That is just crazy to me..

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And then they complain about the secular world sexualising little kids. The mind boggles.

This whole purity Daddy/daughter thing makes me shudder. It's so creepy! Yes, I get the idea behind it, which is that daughters who have strong relationships with their fathers are less likely to seek out abusive and/or damaging relationships, but this weird purity-daddy-daughter-pseudo-dating thing isn't positive attention -- it's grooming!

They are grooming their daughters for romantic relationships at the age of 6? Even if it was 12 or even 16, it would still be fucking weird.

I have a great relationship with my Dad and it did serve me well in adulthood in chosing an intelligent and thoughtful mate. You know what my Dad didn't do? Take me to fucking purity ball or write me love letters. Ugh. Even typing that is gross.

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This whole purity Daddy/daughter thing makes me shudder. It's so creepy! Yes, I get the idea behind it, which is that daughters who have strong relationships with their fathers are less likely to seek out abusive and/or damaging relationships, but this weird purity-daddy-daughter-pseudo-dating thing isn't positive attention -- it's grooming

Exactly. It all stems from and reinforces the primitive notion that a woman's sexuality belongs to someone else. Specifically, to her father and male relatives until such time as they sell - er, give it and her to her husband and his male relatives. It's the same thinking ghastly justifies honor killings.

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LOVE LETTERS FROM DADDY? These people are so seriously fucked up.

How about the "Daddy tapes/CD's" the Steve Maxwell & his son did/are doing. That's creepy as well

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**shudders**

Thats creepy and wrong. How can a 6 year old know they wont have sex before marriage, most 6 year olds dont even know what sex is, and the ones that do think "EEEWWWWW Im not doing that"

Depending on how they phrase things, it's possible the 6 year old is not going to really understand what this is all about, and won't be too terribly traumatized (until she thinks back on it as a teenager and has the horrid realization, anyway!).

What really creeps me out (on the kids' behalf) are the purity events aimed at the older kids. The thirteen year old kid is definitely going to know what this is all about, and KNOWING that your dad is thinking of you in sexual terms for any reason whatsoever is just EEEWWWWWWW.

Even absent all the purity nonsense, it was a hard time going through puberty as a woman to realize that hey, welcome to being a sex object in modern society! Thank heavens my dad did not go around making weighty pronouncements about me "being a woman now" or mention any kind of purity stuff, it would be unbearable. It's awful enough when MOM does it!!

Dads can and should have strong close relationships with their daughters but for heaven's sake, DO NOT go around talking about the daughter as a woman or mentioning any kind of sex-related ANYTHING, please. Treat your daughter as another equal HUMAN. As an individual. Let the family at least be ONE PLACE where the daughter is not thought of in terms of sex of any kind!!

Skip the purity ball, go attend some sporting event or show or just enjoy each other's company on some project or whatever just like you do with sons!!

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Depending on how they phrase things, it's possible the 6 year old is not going to really understand what this is all about, and won't be too terribly traumatized (until she thinks back on it as a teenager and has the horrid realization, anyway!).

What really creeps me out (on the kids' behalf) are the purity events aimed at the older kids. The thirteen year old kid is definitely going to know what this is all about, and KNOWING that your dad is thinking of you in sexual terms for any reason whatsoever is just EEEWWWWWWW.

Even absent all the purity nonsense, it was a hard time going through puberty as a woman to realize that hey, welcome to being a sex object in modern society! Thank heavens my dad did not go around making weighty pronouncements about me "being a woman now" or mention any kind of purity stuff, it would be unbearable. It's awful enough when MOM does it!!

Dads can and should have strong close relationships with their daughters but for heaven's sake, DO NOT go around talking about the daughter as a woman or mentioning any kind of sex-related ANYTHING, please. Treat your daughter as another equal HUMAN. As an individual. Let the family at least be ONE PLACE where the daughter is not thought of in terms of sex of any kind!!

Skip the purity ball, go attend some sporting event or show or just enjoy each other's company on some project or whatever just like you do with sons!!

This. If I'm supposed to object to "secular society" thinking about me principally in sexual terms, how am I supposed to react to my dad doing the same thing?

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^this

I know that I'm incredibly lucky because my father and I have always had a very close relationship. He has always maintained the philosophy that if I make a mistake he wants me to be comfortable enough to tell him. Thus, when my 16 yr old sister got too drunk last weekend, she called my dad and he picked her up, no questions asked (of course they later had a talk about alcohol, but the point is that we know he won't judge us or love us any less when we make mistakes.) By having that sort of relationship, I've always felt comfortable coming to my father to talk. Whenever I date someone and things seem like they might get serious, I always ask for his advice because I value and trust his advice (not because I'm under his authority and need his permission). My parents' relationship has also been a good model for me. That, to me, is how a father should be involved in his daughters' relationships. Purity balls are just...gross.

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