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Doug Phillips Tool Alert: Replica Titanic to Sail in 2016


hoipolloi

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Doug Phillips (Is A Tool) - maybe you can get in on the "maiden" voyage of Titanic II, planned for late 2016 (dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2284933/The-Titanic-sails-Australian-tycoon-unveils-plans-perfect-replica-doomed-vessel-claims-safest-cruise-ship-world-ones-got-lifeboats.html).

The six-day maiden voyage will take place in late 2016 and will be be from Southampton to New York to 'complete the journey' started all those years ago.

Just like in 1912 there will be three classes of passenger and those with different tickets will not be able to move between the classes, though there will be more toilets for the lower decks than the original.

Everyone on board will however be provided with early-20th-century-style clothes and undergarments in their cabins to get them in the mood.

Whilst there will be air conditioning there will be no TVs and no Internet in a bid to get back to the 'romance' of a bygone age.

Just think how far ahead of the game the VF leghumpers are already! Costumes, music, manly behavior - they've got it all!

Better get busy though on fleecing the sheep raising donations so that you can buy a bunch of satellite phones & global data modems in order to send back news flashes on your manly activities!

Come on, Dougie, you know in your bosom heart that you really, really want in on this great opportunity.

Doug Phillips Is A :music-tool:

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If something goes wrong, what's the plan for lower class?

Lower class?!? Pffft.

They don't need a plan.

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This gives me an idea. A recreation of the Hindenberg would be the next great manly adventure for Doug the Tool. "Oh, the humanity!"

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Exactly, how historically accurate is this going to get? Will they be practicing the Christian doctrine of "women and children first?"

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There is so much :doh: in this I dont even know where to start!

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2013/02/26/ ... l-in-2016/

Clive Palmer unveiled blueprints for the famously doomed ship's namesake Tuesday at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum in New York. He said construction is scheduled to start soon in China

What could possibly go wrong with a ship named after a doomed one built in china???

"We all live on this planet, we all breathe the same air and, of course, the Titanic is about the things we've got in common," he said. "It links three continents."

Um, so... there are more than 3 continents. I can pretty much guarantee that a good portion of the world has never heard of the Titanic and if they do they dont give a shit.

Passengers on board the replica will dress in the fashion of that period and eat dishes from the original menu, in dining rooms copied from the ill-fated predecessor.

Yup. Nothing says "class" like a mulligan.

In what some may consider a temptation of fate for a remake of a notoriously "unsinkable" ship that sank, a representative of the Finnish designer of the Titanic II said it will be the "safest cruise ship in the world."

Hmmm.... in the past year we've had cruise ships crash into shit and flip, lose power and strand passengers, passengers throw other passengers over the railing, viral and bacterial outbreaks.... probably some more shit I'm forgetting. So YAY! Lets have a ship without internet and put thousands of people on it dressed up eating heavy foods that cant possibly spoil!

In addition, plans call for a new "safety deck" featuring state-of-the-art lifeboats, safety chutes and slides. The new ship will also have amenities unknown a century ago, like air conditioning.

Well thank GOD! Dressing in corsets would really suck without air conditioning! Whats a lifeboat?

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Clive Palmer (the man funding the whole thing) is a slightly mad mining baron from far north Queensland. He would have Doug the tool shaking in his boots.

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Doug Phillips is a tool, and at first I thought he was having his own replica Titanic built. Which I could see him do, but minus the iceberg because we all know Doug Phillips is a tool prefers that his manly adventures be less perilous and more stylish.

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I hope he goes down with the ship.

Will his replication include the third and second class? How about the number of life rafts? Will he have the same number of life rafts? Will we actually get to see him be "manly" and let ALL women and children on the boats first?

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:snooty: Recreating the Titanic and the attitudes of 1912 seem rather offensive to those who lost their lives.

I also get a creepy feeling about recreating everything on the ship. It would be incredibly easy to get lost and even James Moody wrote that he spent a week on the ship and got lost more times than he could count!

The fundies will probably be racing to buy their tickets for the trip. There's no way I'd get on a ship called Titanic II.

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This is perfect! I will personally take up a sponsor a fun die campaign to send as of them as possible on this doomed titanic recreation. Hopefully everything is replicated to the letter, iceberg and all.

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This is perfect! I will personally take up a sponsor a fun die campaign to send as of them as possible on this doomed titanic recreation. Hopefully everything is replicated to the letter, iceberg and all.

I know it's a typo, but given how the first Titanic ended it made me laugh a little? Does that make me a bad person? :?

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:snooty: Recreating the Titanic and the attitudes of 1912 seem rather offensive to those who lost their lives. ...There's no way I'd get on a ship called Titanic II.

THAT.

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And when the ship goes on its maiden voyage, pray for god to raise up an iceberg. A big one.

Really? Why? Why would you wish a tragic death on hundreds of people?

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Yeah, you don't want the ship sinking. Whilst Clive Palmer is a little bit mad. He also does a lot of nice things for people, IE. he hosted a Christmas lunch buffet for 600 disadvantaged people last Christmas, bought 700 of his employees holidays or Mercedes when the company had a really good year.

I bet Doug The Tool didn't spend his Christmas day with people in need.

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Clive Palmer (the man funding the whole thing) is a slightly mad mining baron from far north Queensland. He would have Doug the tool shaking in his boots.

Is he related to that very mad and evil mining baroness who wants to eliminate safety regs and the minimum wage in Australia?

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Is he related to that very mad and evil mining baroness who wants to eliminate safety regs and the minimum wage in Australia?

You mean Gina Rinehart? Don't think so.

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Why does this make me think of the Doctor Who Christmas special where the mad gazillionaire built a Titanic spaceship replica with for the express purpose of crashing it to save his crumbling empire?

If something similar were to happen here I'm pretty sure Doug-Is-A-Tool wouldn't be anywhere near as awesome as Kylie Minogue was.

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I bet Doug The Tool didn't spend his Christmas day with people in need.

Well, no, he didn't because he doesn't believe in celebrating Christmas, just making a profit from it.

Doug Phillips Is A Tool

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