Littlest Pecan Thief: Priscilla & David Waller's Baby

[MorbidAwe]

ITA! a woman who is the former wife of a man who divorced your former husband's mother (did i get that right?lol) and she can still show that much love. wow!! #inspired

Thanks SO much, love2scrap and Dinger, my cheeks are literally soaked with tears. I sent a copy of our conversation to Grandma Elli, herself, with a note telling her how much I love and appreciate her. I hope she realizes what an awesome woman she is!

And, yes, Dinger, you got it right.

[MorbidAwe]

MorbidAwe--your daughter will survive it. Maybe even be able to laugh at it all someday. My brother, who was the favorite, ate it up for years. But when he got older, he realized how wrong it really was. He would get bigger and better presents than I did on MY birthday. I remember in my mid teens when I got $10 from her and he got $40. On my birthday. He was early 20s by then and felt bad and bought me something with the money she sent him. Our maternal grandmother was wonderful and my brother actually developed a whole stand up style bit about how we had a grandma and an "anti-grandma". Paternal grandma not only played favorites with her kids and grandkids, she also didn't cook or bake. That is not a failing on the surface, but the fact was that you could lose weight from spending two days at her house because there was simply not enough food for everyone. She once served a single can of tomato soup as lunch for six including a teenage boy. It was not a money issue; it was just an issue of her not caring. And if we brought in food to make, she would scream and yell at us. We grew up going for visits for four or five days at a time as we were 950 miles away from her, and it became an art form to sneak the whole family out to get food without her knowing. We have a lot of family stories about those adventures.

Your daughter may also have some really awkward times. When my maternal grandfather died, I actually said out loud, without thinking, that I no longer had any grandparents--and anti-grandma was still alive. My father was a bit taken aback, but kind of understood. And her funeral two years ago was very awkward feeling to me. The favorites among my cousins were very upset and I felt nothing but sympathy for my father. I had not even seen the woman for seven and a half years and explaining why was also awkward. On the other hand, one cousin and I had a rather sarcastic and humorous argument in the corner alone over which one of us owned the "coveted" number 14 ranking among the 14 grandchildren.

Thank you, louisa05. I know there are some tough times coming up for my daughter. Said MIL is currently undergoing chemotherapy for leukemia, and is 82 years old; I think everything may come to a head, so to speak, if the worst happens. Other than our immediate family, she is the closest relative both figuratively and literally.

I moved from Hawaii to the bible belt just to have family nearby, and this is what I got! A MIL who loathes me, and doesn't even like her own, first, grandkid. I have a sneaking suspicion that she DNA tested my daughter, just to make sure she's 'kin'. I've already mentioned the 6 pics of her daughter's daughter to every one of my daughter displayed in the house. It goes even deeper, of course, and gets far more painful.

At least we have Grandma Elli!!!

[dora]

My paternal grandmother did kind of make us feel like my cousin A was the favourite when we were really young.we conveniently came in pairs" my cousin K is eight months younger than me, then my sister two years later was shortly followed by k's sister, then each family had a boy. Another aunty had a baby girl, A, 'out of wedlock' at the same time the boys were born. She was the only one who, lived in the same town as my grandparents and they doted on her and we knew it. But at the same time we knew our grandparents loved us all too.

A's mother got married when A was eight two a man who had to daughters older than me. It was disconcerting for me not being the oldest any more, but my grandparents made sure to include them equally in our family, and when I was there last weekend I noticed they have pictures up of my stepcousin's children too.

I have mother in law issues too, but not enough keys on the keyboard or hours in the day to go into it. Suffice to say that the preemie holding story posted above is very familiar.

[louisa05]

I only learned after she died that my paternal grandmother never held me when I was a baby. We were going through pictures and there were different ones of both grandparents and new grandbabies or posed with all the grandchildren at any given time. I happened to notice that the ones I was a baby in either my grandfather was holding me or my brother (who is six years older than me). I mentioned that I was the only baby grandpa (who died long long before her) held in photos. My mom quietly answered that that was because she refused to ever hold me and never picked me up until I was past two. Apparently, her explanation was that it would upset my brother (it wouldn't have) and this is also when I found out that she got angry when my parents told them my mom was pregnant with me. She felt my brother should be an only child.

[MorbidAwe]

Priscilla seems very sweet to me, too. Sure, she's not the brightest crayon in the box, but consider who her parents are...The cards are stacked against her, she never really had a chance with her parents indoctrinating her from such a young age.

That being said, I feel deeply for any woman trapped in a marriage with a (most likely) gay man. She has a world of heartbreak and betrayal ahead of her. I LOVE gay people, I am and always have been quite the activist for equal rights. I KNOW what I am talking about when I say she has a hard road to travel. She seems so sweet and sensitive, and poorly prepared (thanks to her upbringing), that I just don't know if she can handle it. I hope she surprises me.

[SPHASH]

I always felt I never had any grandparents. Both my grandfathers passed before I was born. Maternal g-pa was a WW1 veteran, didn't have much but down to earth and paternal g-pa was a bit arrogant but a man of integrity. My maternal g-ma died of a stroke when I was two but was the only one who could get me to stop fussing. That leaves my paternal g-ma who was the only one I knew but liked the least. She showed blatant favortism of my dad over his sisters. Hell she would cater to all her male relatives-husband, son, grandsons, and brothers and all the females were ignored. She even preferred her nephews over her daughters. My oldest brother was her favorite grandchild and after he died my next oldest brother became the golden grandchild. When he was diagnosed with bipolar she changed her will to leave any money that was left from her estate after the farm debt was paid for his care. One year when my twin brother and I were selling stuff for school fundraisers, she would buy from him, he was selling fruit for FFA, but wouldn't even buy a $2 fridge magnet from me. When our older sister got her license she offered to buy grandmas car but grandma wouldn't sell, but four years later sold the car to my twin. I actually shed more tears over the victims of the Newtown shooting people I never met than grandma when she died 8 years ago.

[salex]

Thanks, everyone, for sharing your stories of evil MIL's playing favorites. I don't feel as alone, now, and understand that my daughter will live through all of it. I really do appreciate it! Here's an example for all those "favorite players" out there:

My first husband's former step-father's ex-wife (did you get all that?) is Grandma Elli. The ex hubby and I split up twenty years ago. Since then she has never forgotten a birthday, holiday or other special event; she's known the whole time that my first daughter was not the biological daughter of her ex's step son (it was never a secret) and even includes my youngest daughter in her group of grandkids. She's a beautiful Christian woman who has her beliefs, yet respects the beliefs of others.

See, they're not all bad!

There is much to be said for people like that. My mother in law was someone who always wanted to make sure that children in these situations weren't made to pay. (She herself had been shifted from one relative's home to another after her parents divorced in the 1930s). Despite a very harsh divorce, about 8 years after she and my Father in law divorced, his step son had married a woman with a child from a previous relationship. At the family christmas (where yippee, we ALL get together) all of us gave stepson's stepdaughter gifts as though she were just another of the nieces, which is not a huge suprise. However, my mother in law also gave her ex husband's stepson's stepdaughter a gift along with what she gave her own granddaughters. She died about a couple of years later, unexpectedly, but that act is one that I will always remember about her.

[Closed Womb]

Just stopping by to say that April is National Pecan Month (in the US) :whistle:

Also, I am very sorry to hear about all of the families who play favorites. This was not the case in my family; however, I have a friend who rather gleefully acknowledges that her children are the favorite grand kids because they are Jewish (her brother's children are 1/2 Jewish, 1/2 Christian and have apparently been baptized, sealing the innocent ones fates as second-rate.) I'm not sure if I am more offended at my friend's reaction, the grandparent's willingness to treat children so differently, or the bullshit reason for it all.

[Stephers831]

I went back and listened to all the recordings of Priscilla speaking. I honestly wonder if she has a slight issue with being tongue tied. She seems to have some of the words, she just can't get them out. Also, the keep sweet voice and manerisms are just annoying. You can tell a big diffence between when she was staying with Josh and Anna and now.

As for the evil grandmother I mentioned earlier, I did finally go visit her as she is dying but unfortunately her mind is gone now, she called me by my mothers name and moms been gone for 15 years (not to mention mom was 5'1" and about 112lbs and I'm 5'9" and plus sized) so its not like we looked alike but for some reason I felt it was important for the hubby to meet her at least once. She was nice on the visit but she was obviously highly medicated and didn't know where she was.

On the subject of making a difference between kids, etc. My cousin married into an already made family of 3 kids and then he and his wife have gone on to have 5 more kids together. There is no difference made between kids, all of those kids are Aunt Stephys babies and they know it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[happy atheist]

Moving on to part 3: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=16925