Independent Baptists

[Madge3]

I currently attend a Baptist church that is considered a Southern Baptist church. Our pastor and his wife are definitely on the fundie side but they have never ever pushed those specific beliefs on any of us. She is a skirt/ dress only but has told us that is just her and would never expect anyone else to ever dress that way unless they felt it was right for them. They do have 6 kids whom the wife homeschooled up until they were entering High School then they went to public school but the wife worked before and works now too. Also, I don't believe they sheltered their children too much because I don't get that vibe from them at all. The pastor told me he felt it was his responsibility to steer them in the right direction and then once they chose to accept Jesus then that everything was between them and God. He said he meant in the sense that if they wanted to drink (or whatever it may be) he felt that was their decision not his and it was between them and God on if it was ok for them. He pretty much has that stance on everything that fundies are hard core no no on. Dancing, drinking, dating, whatever it may be. I was talking to him about everything and he said that he feels that while something is right for one person it is not right for everyone and that he believes legalism is very harmful to the church. I realize I am rambling right now but my entire point is while I attend a Baptist church I have no idea what it really would be classified as because I am sure many other southern baptist churches would really disagree with that type of thinking.

[Helena]

Okay, this is a boring video, but it brings back such "pleasant" memories.

http://youtu.be/D9G8YDtxQdg

If you recognize this place or anyone in the video, you have my sympathies.

Edited to fix link.

[Ramona]

I went to an IFB church for a while (as an adult) ... dresses/skirts only, long hair, congregational singing of hymns, no instruments - except the Pastor would play a recording of some acoustic guitar pieces each service. They explained the music thing with a bunch of something having to do with specific beats and all that. KJV only, and a lady there gave me a KJV bible that all sorts of background in it as to why. There weren't many families with kids, the ones that did have them homeschooled - but they weren't a part of the local Christian homeschool group. Nor was the church part of the local Christian council thing. They had a kids club thing with a pirate, but mine didn't go.

I actually liked it at first, but I was looking for that kind of environment at the time.

Oh and there was something about the history - they insisted they were not Protestants or something, and that they went right back to the apostles or something like that.

[DarkAnts]

An independent Baptists church just started in my little town. They came around and tried to get me to go to service. I asked them a few questions about how conservative they are. They said that being independent gave the congregation the ability to choose its own doctrine. I decided to pass on a visit. I am happy worshiping at the church of fluffy pillows and blankets.

Its odd, but that same day, the potters house people came by and must have thought I was a kid. They told me about all of their fun teen events that were going on included things like puppet shows and dancing to christian music. I did not tell them that I was actually 30. I would rather people think I am younger then older.

[sassycupcake]

I had a fairly normal upbringing in a mainstream church until I was a teenager. Then my parents decided that the Methodists don't quite hate teh gayz enough, and joined an IFB church.

My sisters and I were the only children in the congregation who weren't homeschooled, the only girls whose parents let them wear jeans outside of church, and the only kids who were allowed to even listen to Christian pop/rock. The two of us who were teenagers were labeled as sluts and whores because our family wasn't holy enough and because we had the audacity to question the steaming streams of shit that poured forth from the youth pastor's mouth.

That didn't stop my parents from jumping right in and drinking the patriarchal Kool-aid. They started spouting off the same old "man is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church" bullshit and denounced divorce, feminism, and working women. They even started believing that higher education is nothing more than liberal indoctrination by the devil just as I was finishing high school. I graduated with honors at age 17, but my parents would not allow me to attend college. Once I was a legal adult, I had to fight to attend a local commuter college that was a horrible fit for my educational needs, and even then I only lasted a semester before my parents were threatening to stop paying my tuition and take away the car so I couldn't go to class.

So I left. Now I have two BS degrees and am working toward my MS, and I am happily married to an atheist. After flirting a bit with atheism/agnosticism (because who would want to be religious after that bullshit?), I found the Episcopal church and was confirmed. My life is pretty awesome right now, but it was almost ruined by fundamentalism, and I will never respect anyone who subscribes to or makes excuses for IFB culture.

[PurpleSheepleEater]

Me. IFB church, high school, college, then taught at IFB schools. Broke free and now I'm a bleeding heart liberal agnostic. I still have IFB family but we don't talk much, I'm sure they pray daily for my soul and the souls of my children. :twisted:

The whole thing is such a crazy episode in my past. I often wonder what would have happened if my mom had never wandered into that place, we were pretty normal before it took over our lives.

[thefreebuhrow]

I was adopted into a IFB family in La Crosse, Wisconsin. I gave them a hell of a hard time trying to make me conform and be straight and submissive. I'm free now.

http://religionscell.wordpress.com/dela ... ows-story/

Today, I work in a public school and have a plural marriage between myself and both fathers of my two children. I also have a long term boyfriend on the side, and yes, my spouses know him and they all get along because our kids come first and we are big fans of communication.

I am a proud pagan and people in my town refer to me as The Witch of the East End. My children, however, are religious virgins, and I hope they remain that way until they are adults and they are mentally and emotionally capable of choosing a spiritual path.

[PrairieGirl]

I was born and raised Southern Baptist. I even went to the church's private school from 3 years old to 15 when we had to move. We had to wear skirts that at least came about an inch below our knees from the age of 7. We were taught that the husband is the head of the family (the reason for our move btw, bad idea) and his word was final. The wife had to be a Prov 31 helpmeet. Dancing was forbidden as was alcohol. Lets see, what else? Oh, they used to bus us to pro life events to picket clinics and passed out brochures with graphic pics of aborted fetuses to all of us from 2nd grade on up. I have never been in a more restrictive, hypocritical, and just plain bad environment. Organized religion and I parted company many years ago and I blame the people in the church and the fact that I had religion crammed down my throat for that.

I know this was posted a while ago, but holy crap does it resonate with me. Sounds very much like my upbringing, only we were not Southern Baptist. I think we were just plain ol' IFB. But yeah, only modest skirts, went to the church's school and had a less than stellar education, no dance, no alcohol, women don't work, did the abortion clinic protests and was judged for every tiny thing you ever did. So pretty much hell on earth for me. I escaped the minute I turned 18. I always felt something wasn't right, but I assumed it was me. I could never feel connected to this Jesus fellow and his terrifying father "God".

[moodygirl86]

I always felt something wasn't right, but I assumed it was me.

Prairiegirl, any toxic oppressive environment will make you feel like that, whether it's family, marriage, friendship, work or religious community. I'm glad you went with your gut.

[mollysmom]

[tab=30]

I am a former Independant Fundamental Baptist. I went to Metro Baptist Church in Bellivelle, Mi. Spent 1st year of college at Hyles Anderson College in Hammond, In.

I went there too, (HAC) for 5 years. That place is nothing but a cult.

[browncoatslytherin]

former ifb turned pagan here :) i grew up in various ifb churches - my dad even pastored a few (only one while i was around). my parents kind of ranged, though. when i was young, they were much stricter. we got into ati for a minute before my dad gave it up, but we were about that level for a while. we were there every time the church doors were open. i was homeschooled for most of my elementary school career, but it was my choice because i didn't like school after trying to go to a k-4 run by an ifb church (i asked to go back to that school in the middle of fourth grade, and they let me). it used to be tabernacle christian school but now i guess it's lake dow christian academy. i was there less than a year, though, because we ended up moving so my dad could pastor a church in international falls, mn (first baptist church - real original name lol). i went to the christian school there until it closed down after my fifth grade year, then i did public school for half of my sixth grade year, and when we moved i went back to homeschooling until after eigth grade. my freshman year i started going to a christian school run out of another church, but my senior year i went to a state-wide charter school offered by waukesha school district (it was the first year it was offered, and i got to take college classes that they covered for me, so i was excited about that).

my parents were at least progressive in terms of schooling, obviously, but they still expected me to stay at home until i got married, even though i was working and able to be independent. there was heavy restriction on entertainment, especially when i was younger. we didn't have tv until the '96 olympics came to town, and even then it was antenna, so...pbs :P my parents tried to put the kibosh on anything i got interested in, because it "distracted me from my walk with god". i had to hide the fact that i loved star wars so much, but by the time i got into high school, they started relenting on that somewhat, so i was allowed to be as outwardly obsessed with lord of the rings as i wanted to be.

my parents even tried to control my relationships. i'm not heavy on friendships, but i had one very close friend in high school. there was a point where they suggested we not spend as much time together, but we ignored them and i guess they figured that one friendship was better than none. *shrug* they also made me break up with a boyfriend of mine because...i don't quite remember. :? i guess they didn't like him too much? i don't know. they were open to me "dating", but there were a LOT of restrictions when i was still a minor (had to be heavily supervised, i really don't even remember us having a date that wasn't some sort of church activity, etc.). when i turned 18, i guess they were tired and figured whatever. they weren't courtship-only, but they were very heavily against casual dating. they gave me the book "i kissed dating goodbye" when i was i think 12 or so. and of course there were the endless purity talks and little conference things. i even got a purity ring when i was 13. i'm sure if there was a purity ball or something like that, i would have gone.

in my teenage years, i started to have lots of doubts, and they intensified the more i got into the real world. the christians i knew at the time did me no favours as far as trying to bring me back into the fold, and i felt so alienated and alone, i just abandoned religion all-together. i've often wondered about sending a letter to the last pastor whom i had contact with...nothing mean or bitter or anything, just to let him know his small action of not helping out a church member in a time of need was the straw that broke the camel's back and caused them to turn away from christianity. he is a mostly nice man, but he would constantly preach about love and the body of christ being a family and helping each other, but he failed to walk the walk when i needed it most. i say "letter" just because i don't want a reply, i just kind of want him to know.

[bluehydrangea]

Oh yes, been there! My family actually were not followers of IFB, but I was sent to an IFB school because I missed the cut-off for entering public school (late birthday) and in my little town, the Baptist school was the only other option. Skirts below the knee, boys in collared shirts at all times, no dancing, cards, TV, or music with a backbeat, etc. Public schools were EVIL!!! And so were women in tank tops. My parents pulled me out before I entered Jr. High, after they felt like the school when too far in discussing abortion with us.

My favorite memory, though, is from when I dated a boy in high school whose family still attended the church. I went with them one Sunday night, and the pastor was an uneducated (surprise!), senile, elderly man who mostly liked to rant about politics. He was carrying on about Hillary Clinton, and suddenly sputtered that she was an "ignorant prick!" Right there on the pulpit! :lol: at that point I swore that I wouldn't ever go back.

[heagleca]

I know this was posted a while ago, but holy crap does it resonate with me. Sounds very much like my upbringing, only we were not Southern Baptist. I think we were just plain ol' IFB. But yeah, only modest skirts, went to the church's school and had a less than stellar education, no dance, no alcohol, women don't work, did the abortion clinic protests and was judged for every tiny thing you ever did. So pretty much hell on earth for me. I escaped the minute I turned 18. I always felt something wasn't right, but I assumed it was me. I could never feel connected to this Jesus fellow and his terrifying father "God".

*resurrecting old post* to say this was my childhood/teens experience too. Grew up Southern Baptist but the Christian school I attended was so rigid and strict and I wouldn't be surprised in the least if the headmaster while I was there has heard the words "Doug Phillips" and "Vision Forum" before. Much like DP, the headmaster was a huge tool who promoted similar ideas. It's been 13 years but reading everything on these boards is bringing back some awful memories of my school days! I could talk private Christian (Baptist) school for days. (My parents have since gone very mainstream and I feel left hanging...)