I feel bad for Kendal's daughters

[Freyacat]

Kendal's daughters apparently have to change the baby now, and much poopy mess ensues. Ugh. I have a kid, but I never learned to find poop stories funny, maybe because I just have one kid. Some of the moms I know with 3 or so kids do find stories like this funny; maybe it's a survival mechanism.

thefatherknowsbest.com/2013/02/motherhood-is-messy.html

This was the part that I really didn't get:

"Mom, Sebi ate poop!" screamed my daughter from upstairs while changing her brother's diaper. That of course was after she told me that poop was on the carpet.

Teaching our girls the skills they will need to be successful moms and homemakers is a messy business. Sometimes.....very messy!

Hey, Kendal, if your daughter "screamed... from upstairs," you weren't actually teaching her anything. You were making her do the work while you sat a floor away.

I'm really sad for her oldest. No Christmas, no Halloween, but old enough to remember when the family had those things. Old enough to see that other kids her age get to play with friends and do fun things. Old enough she should be learning more than how to change her sibling's diapers. If Kendal wants to be a SAHM with a bunch of kids, great. That's her choice and a totally legitimate one. But what if her daughters want to be computer programmers or doctors or pro athletes rather than SAHMs when they grow up? I'm afraid they will be ill equipped to attend college at 18, and even if they work their way there, they will be at a long term disadvantage. :(

[snickerz]

It's amazing that the rest of us manage to change our children's diapers regularly (and mess free) without having spent years of our childhoods training for it...

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

Parents. Please. I understand. You have a hard job. I totally respect that. But please. For the love of your preferred deity or cause...NO POOP STORIES. Please. Nobody cares except the other parent and maybe grandma. I'll take all your other adorable baby stories. Just leave the diapers out of it.

[NurseNell]

Is her oldest daughter even old enough to be changing diapers without supervision? Babies can roll off changing tables pretty fast if a responsible teen or adult isn't right there.

[So Many Lies]

Is her oldest daughter even old enough to be changing diapers without supervision? Babies can roll off changing tables pretty fast if a responsible teen or adult isn't right there.

I'd say they probably just change the baby on the floor usually. But I do agree she's too young to do poop diapers.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Raising a baby isnt something you really need to teach, certainly not spending all day doing it, most kids learn through watching their parents with their siblings, or read parenting books and ask for advice when theyre pregnant with their first.

How old is the daughter?

[formergothardite]

Is her oldest daughter even old enough to be changing diapers without supervision? Babies can roll off changing tables pretty fast if a responsible teen or adult isn't right there.

Yeah, I thought her oldest daughter wasn't really that old. My mom had 9 kids and wouldn't let us change diapers until we were teens because she said we weren't old enough. Granted these were cloth diapers with pins, but somehow I still managed to properly change a diaper without having spent my childhood raising my siblings. I think Kendal is just lazy and is trying to find a way to make her laziness look godly. See, she isn't sitting down stairs while making her child take care of a baby, she is educating her daughters to be mothers! But really she is just sitting downstairs while her chid takes care of a baby.

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm wondering how old the daughter is too. You know what makes me want to barf? The notion that only girls should keep house, do laundry, and change diapers. Men need to know that shit too.

[Cannelle]

I was an only child and somehow I managed to figure out how to diaper my son, you know, when I had him, without spending years acting as my mom's slave. Shocking, I know!

[Hisey]

Kendall's oldest is about 8.

I had siblings born when I was about 9, and I never once changed their diapers. My mom must have thought it was her job and I was too young anyway.

With my own oldest child, there was one moment of confusion when I first changed her diaper (wait, how do I do this?) and then I figured it out and all was well. No training necessary.

I would never leave an 8 year old alone with a toddler (her baby is about 1), especially to change a poopy diaper. I have a child that age myself and don't think it would be safe.

[Conuly]

Parents. Please. I understand. You have a hard job. I totally respect that. But please. For the love of your preferred deity or cause...NO POOP STORIES. Please. Nobody cares except the other parent and maybe grandma. I'll take all your other adorable baby stories. Just leave the diapers out of it.

It's not that people with young kids want to talk about diapers and poo, it's just that it is one of the few safe subjects when talking to other people with young kids, who mostly aren't your friends, not really. You're just making nice so your kids can play and you can keep going to that local playground.

Except after you get inured to this conversation, some people forget that not everybody really is in the same boat. It's weird how often playground conversation when all the kids are under 4 turns to potty and diaper woes, but it's about the only thing you can be sure of discussing with a stranger without risking a fight.

Not sure how shut-ins like Kendall pick up this habit, but for most people, that's how it starts. It's not meant to gross you out, I promise.

Also, unless your kid is seriously disabled, it just doesn't take that long to learn how to change a diaper. Get the right size, be sure to get every little fold, sometimes it is easier to change them standing up, and if it's a boy point the penis down. Voila, I have saved Kendall's kids years of "education". Now she can get up and raise her own darn baby.

I would never leave an 8 year old alone with a toddler (her baby is about 1), especially to change a poopy diaper. I have a child that age myself and don't think it would be safe.

I don't think I'd have an eight year old babysit, but I should think that most kids that age, especially with younger siblings, could be left playing a short time with a young toddler or older infant without disaster striking. But no, I think kids that age probably shouldn't change diapers, certainly not the poopy types, and definitely not if they haven't volunteered under your supervision. That's just not fair. They should enjoy their siblings, not spend their life on the poopy patrol.

[VooDooChild]

It's amazing that the rest of us manage to change our children's diapers regularly (and mess free) without having spent years of our childhoods training for it...

Please with the "training"! :roll:

My mom had my only other sibling when I was twelve. My aunt had my cousin a couple years prior. My aunt and mom never felt the need to use this as a training opportunity. I did, however, change diapers, feed, make bottles, bathe, watch, play with the babies whenever I WANTED to, or for a couple of hours if it was NEEDED. This was more than enough to "prepare" me for my own kids. It certainly didn't require my entire childhood to learn, and I'm sure I would have managed my babies just fine without that experience.

Also, I wasn't required to do chores beyond cleaning my room. I helped my mom cook and clean when I felt like it. See my mom felt it was important for me to be a child, and figured I would learn by example. It worked because by the time I hit middle school, I could clean the house and do laundry just as well as my mom could ( and she kept the house spotless and tidy). I honed my chef skills by necessity in high school when mom went back to work and I had to occasionally watch my sister at night (she was divorced. Evil woman!)

All that to say, I didn't need a PHd program in homemaking. I learned just fine by watching and helping....which, oddly, is how kids often learn. :o

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

It's not that people with young kids want to talk about diapers and poo, it's just that it is one of the few safe subjects when talking to other people with young kids, who mostly aren't your friends, not really. You're just making nice so your kids can play and you can keep going to that local playground.

Except after you get inured to this conversation, some people forget that not everybody really is in the same boat. It's weird how often playground conversation when all the kids are under 4 turns to potty and diaper woes, but it's about the only thing you can be sure of discussing with a stranger without risking a fight.

Not sure how shut-ins like Kendall pick up this habit, but for most people, that's how it starts. It's not meant to gross you out, I promise.

Also, unless your kid is seriously disabled, it just doesn't take that long to learn how to change a diaper. Get the right size, be sure to get every little fold, sometimes it is easier to change them standing up, and if it's a boy point the penis down. Voila, I have saved Kendall's kids years of "education". Now she can get up and raise her own darn baby.

I don't think I'd have an eight year old babysit, but I should think that most kids that age, especially with younger siblings, could be left playing a short time with a young toddler or older infant without disaster striking. But no, I think kids that age probably shouldn't change diapers, certainly not the poopy types, and definitely not if they haven't volunteered under your supervision. That's just not fair. They should enjoy their siblings, not spend their life on the poopy patrol.

Oh, I totally get that it's a fair topic among parents. But I'm not a parent, have no siblings, have never babysat, and am generally not a kid person, so when my friends with kids insist on telling the diaper stories I just get grossed out. But I try to be polite because I know it can be isolating to be home with the baby all day, and if the baby is sick then diapers might have been the only thing going on all day.

[NjoyingNsanity]

I just don't understand why fundies think learning to cook, clean and care for babies/kids is so hard that a girl needs to spend years learning how. Unless your daughter is extremely simple-minded most of these skills can be mastered fairly quickly by anyone of normal intelligence. Does their misogyny go to the point of thinking little girls are profoundly stupid and need years to learn to accomplish even the most basic task? My oldest daughter just turned twelve and can change her little sisters diapers even the poopy ones without making a mess. I never forced her to learn she just asked me to teach her when her baby sister was a few months old. She doesn't change her often, but she can do it and it only took her about three tries to master the womanly art of changing a loaded diaper.

[Full enough quiver]

News flash for the fundies- being a homemaker is not that hard. Hell, even parenting is not that hard. As long as the kid is adequately fed, clothed, and housed, and you love them and keep them safe, you're good. Most of it is instinct. I was a teen mom, and my kid is turning out great (so far)....

[NjoyingNsanity]

News flash for the fundies- being a homemaker is not that hard. Hell, even parenting is not that hard. As long as the kid is adequately fed, clothed, and housed, and you love them and keep them safe, you're good. Most of it is instinct. I was a teen mom, and my kid is turning out great (so far)....

I was a teen mom as well and my son was only the second newborn baby I'd ever held and yet I managed to do a pretty good job with him. He's seventeen an honor roll student and a soloist in the marching band, a Jr volunteer rescue squad member and plans on going into the air force or the marines when he graduates. Funny I never had to brainwash him with wisdom books or beat him with plumbing line to get him to be a decent human being either.

[paganhomeschooler]

It's amazing that the rest of us manage to change our children's diapers regularly (and mess free) without having spent years of our childhoods training for it...

I'm an only child. I guess my kids are lucky to have made it, in her thinking! lol

My 2nd daughter did change my youngest's diapers from time to time but only because she liked to play little mommy and asked if she could change them. And only wet diapers, never messy ones! We just used a changing pad on the floor. This was also when he was a toddler and knew the drill. I would never have let one of my young kids change an infant's diaper. They might fetch me diapers and wipes and throw away the trash for me, but never change the diaper.

[snarktastic]

Same here - DD used to change wet nappies when she was 18 months old. Because a toddler who's watched Mummy a few times can take an old nappy off, use wet wipes, laugh hysterically cos other kid has a WILLY, and put new nappy on. Simples.

(Just to clarify re safety and wellbeing of my kids - the laughing-at-willies thing wasn't copied off me. Other kid was on the floor and actually older than she was. Also am evil atheist so this was playing at being Mummy, not being trained to be Mummy)

[snarktastic]

OMG. Have just read rest of post.

We may believe that they can just learn as they go when they actually become mothers. So tell me, how did you feel when you first brought that baby home?

Well, I'd had 24 hours with him in the hospital by that point, so had fully mastered the nappy, the cuddling AND the baby bath even though I'd never cared for a baby before at all. Because it's really NOT THAT HARD. I think at one point I might have asked the midwife what to do about washing the cord-stump thing. Apart from that, it was pretty obvious what needed to be done.

If a woman is feeling overwhelmed by new motherhood it's going to be down to exhaustion, hormones etc not the daunting challenge of learning super-hard skills.

I supposed it helps though if you're not thinking OMG OMG IF I DON'T DO EVERYTHING THE 100% CHRISTIAN WAY MY CHILD WILL GO TO HELL.

[AnnieC 305]

It's amazing that the rest of us manage to change our children's diapers regularly (and mess free) without having spent years of our childhoods training for it...

It's amazing that I managed to learn how in one lesson when I was 15 and working as a mother's helper over the summer.

[Deloris]

It's amazing that the rest of us manage to change our children's diapers regularly (and mess free) without having spent years of our childhoods training for it...

Yup. And the things they will really need to know about parenting--you know, compassion, listening, and communication skills, gentle discipline, etc--they aren't learning. Sad.

[freehannie]

I'm wondering if the need for the years of mommy training is to excuse the lack of other forms of training like higher education, professional skills, etc. Rather than focus on portable skills necessary in the work world, these girls need to train for years to be mothers. Otherwise, if you could pick up the mommy skills on the fly, you would have time to do all the other stuff too. What I never understand is that being a mother is a relatively short period of your entire life. What are you supposed to do when it's over if all your training is for motherhood.

[wild little fox]

I just don't understand why fundies think learning to cook, clean and care for babies/kids is so hard that a girl needs to spend years learning how. Unless your daughter is extremely simple-minded most of these skills can be mastered fairly quickly by anyone of normal intelligence. Does their misogyny go to the point of thinking little girls are profoundly stupid and need years to learn to accomplish even the most basic task? My oldest daughter just turned twelve and can change her little sisters diapers even the poopy ones without making a mess. I never forced her to learn she just asked me to teach her when her baby sister was a few months old. She doesn't change her often, but she can do it and it only took her about three tries to master the womanly art of changing a loaded diaper.

I think it is all about control and also having help with the work. Either the parents are diluting themselves or they are abusive to the point they only see their daughters as a workforce.

[Convicted Blossom]

snip Men need to know that shit too.

Or eat it as the case may be.

[latraviata]

Please with the "training"! :roll:

My mom had my only other sibling when I was twelve. My aunt had my cousin a couple years prior. My aunt and mom never felt the need to use this as a training opportunity. I did, however, change diapers, feed, make bottles, bathe, watch, play with the babies whenever I WANTED to, or for a couple of hours if it was NEEDED. This was more than enough to "prepare" me for my own kids. It certainly didn't require my entire childhood to learn, and I'm sure I would have managed my babies just fine without that experience.

Also, I wasn't required to do chores beyond cleaning my room. I helped my mom cook and clean when I felt like it. See my mom felt it was important for me to be a child, and figured I would learn by example. It worked because by the time I hit middle school, I could clean the house and do laundry just as well as my mom could ( and she kept the house spotless and tidy). I honed my chef skills by necessity in high school when mom went back to work and I had to occasionally watch my sister at night (she was divorced. Evil woman!)

All that to say, I didn't need a PHd program in homemaking. I learned just fine by watching and helping....which, oddly, is how kids often learn. :o

Same story here, we picked it up just by watching my mother and she was watching her mother and so on. My sisters and I didn't have to lift a finger and in the end we all managed to keep a decent household. We had to keep our rooms tidy, the domestic help wasn't allowed to clean our rooms, because our mother considered us too young to have staff working for us, and she was right about that.

The blogging 'help meets' are so damned proud of of their domestic skills, but I am afraid they have nothing else to be proud of. In particular when I became a widow with two teenage boys and a full time job, I managed to cook very decent meals from scratch every godforsaken day. Why is that so special? My house was 'fairly' clean and the boys were/are well raised and educated. That was not exactly my big achievement, it was what I was supposed to do as a responsible parent and frankly most of the time I rather liked it.

You don't need to have studied nuclear physics to cook a decent meal or to change a diaper.