What true Godly women carry in their purse

[prairiemuffin]

I have never been a major Candy follower, but once in a while I'll hop over to her blog and see if there's any particularly fun craziness going on. She's dedicated a whole post to what you should be carrying in your purse (see February 13), which just struck me as particularly ridiculous.

joyfulchristianhomemaking.com/

Among the highlights:

1. Floss-not just for flossing-for ALL your emergency string needs

2. A book about foraging and a book about trapping

3. Knives! Escpecially a big one, that you can fashion a hunting spear out of (presumably also utilizing your floss)

4. Multiple methods for making fire

5. A bandana to set on fire

And, of course, most important at least one King James Bible. Probably 2 is better, so why not make it 3?

-In case you are wondering (like I was), what exactly this gigantic 50 pound sack looks like, she clarifies in the comments that her purse "with a purpose" is one of the larger ones from Wal-Mart.

[pudding]

first thing that came to my mind: condoms! :D

but wtf is she living in the wilderness or what???making fire...? how about money? an id? keys? gum?

[notsocommon]

I do not even carry a purse if I can get away with it. I'm DOOOOMMMMEEEEDDDD

[prairiemuffin]

As far as living in the wilderness, not so much. I'm sure this is all for the impending End Times.

I'm off to search for trapping instructions. I'll share with you what I find, so that at least some of us can survive.

[doggie]

where is the plumbing line? cant be godly without that.

[Swamptribe]

A book about hunting and trapping? Really?

[prairiemuffin]

Yeah, I would think that she could just use on of the extra KJV bibles and chuck it at some animal.

It'd save a little space.

[lemurknits]

More useful to carry a bunch of tampons.

artofmanliness.com/2012/06/05/survival-tampon/

[ILoveJellybeans]

What does she expect will happen with her, is she going to get lost in the woods on her way to the supermarket or something? Or is it a rapture/end of the world thing?

Im suprised theres no guns involved.

[happy atheist]

1. Floss-not just for flossing-for ALL your emergency string needs

Simpson's Individual Stringettes! The now string! Ready-cut, easy to handle! A million household uses!

[Maggie Mae]

Where does she live that she needs a bandanna to set on fire? Does she have the need to make a molotov cocktail? Maybe she should cram an empty bottle as well, you know, just in case. And a small container of gasoline.

[August]

As far as living in the wilderness, not so much. I'm sure this is all for the impending End Times.

I'm off to search for trapping instructions. I'll share with you what I find, so that at least some of us can survive.

Sheepish confession:I have a "how to do everything" book, just in case I need to rebuild civilization after the zombie apocalypse. After all, the brains will run out at some point and we'll have to start farming to feed our undead selves.

Actually, it's in case I need to purify water or build a solar oven if the power goes out for a couple of months or something. I bought it after we had a week-long blackout.

[happy atheist]

Sheepish confession:I have a "how to do everything" book, just in case I need to rebuild civilization after the zombie apocalypse. After all, the brains will run out at some point and we'll have to start farming to feed our undead selves.

Actually, it's in case I need to purify water or build a solar oven if the power goes out for a couple of months or something. I bought it after we had a week-long blackout.

Do you carry it in your purse?

[pixydust]

Hmm, I'm SOL! In my purse I have :keys, cell phone, DL, insurance cards, change purse, check card, coupons, tampons, and Burt's Bees. Also, a list, depending on what i'm doing.

[CuriosityMuseum]

What does she expect will happen with her, is she going to get lost in the woods on her way to the supermarket or something? Or is it a rapture/end of the world thing?

Im suprised theres no guns involved.

It's for the rapture. She's thinking about the Godless heathens left behind, and created a kit to help them survive, hence the multiple bibles. She forgot to mention the huge patch sewn onto the bag; If found unattended, the owner has been raptured, like those smug bumper stickers.

[infooverload]

When I saw she listed a knife all I could think was well there is a built in ER trip for one of the blessings. Also why not oh more useful items like a bottle of water, tampons as some people have mentioned, and a first aid kit.

[blisterine]

1. tracts- preferably jack chick, preferably racist/discriminatory ones

2. old school kotex (as big as a cotton bale, requiring safety pins or a sanitary belt)- because it's more godly than tampons and only angels should have wings!

3. starlight mints- great witnessing opportunity as red is for christ's blood and the white is for purity

4. penny with a cross punched out of it- purchased at cracker barrel by your pastor and given to you when you were baptised

5. pre-paid cellphone from wal-mart- for emergencies only, but you put god in your contact list to remind you to pray

6. cheap hairbrush- to groom your crowning glory

7. $5 starbucks gift card- christmas gift 2 years ago, saving it for a special occasion which may never happen

8. unopened roll of lifesavers- to remind you to keep sweet!

9. less than $1 in change- god will provide

10. postcard signed by the duggar family- for encouragement and to refer to for hair-do tips

11. plain chapstick- to draw attention to your countenance

12. as many kjv bibles as you can cram in there

13. last sunday's church bulletin- so you can get 10% off at the family buffet restaurant

14. 1 million dollar tract- to tip waitress at family buffet restaurant

15. chore pack

edited because i needed to buy a vowel!

[Queen Of Hearts]

I sort of get where she is trying to go with that post. But in typical fundy-fashion, it is just wrong. I keep a few emergency supplies in my car in case of an emergency. These are actually in an Altoid's tin. I have dental floss (good emergency string use), a needle, a plastic bag, a knife, and a magnesium fire starter (plus a few other odds and ends). This kit gives me what I need to stay safe, comfortable, and get drinkable water should I be in a disaster situation for 1-2 days. I can easily toss it in my purse and it takes up no room. I assume it is something I will never use, but it is something I keep in my car 'just in case' (just as I keep boots, extra gloves, etc. in the car in the winter). Since I sometimes take long car trips driving through some remote areas, I err on the side of caution.

I do not need a whole giant purse to keep my survival supplies with me at all times.

[RosyDaisy]

Who ever this "godly" woman is, she sounds like a prepper. I find it funny she doesn't mention sanitary napkins, wallet, and a basic cell phone to call for help.

[NurseNell]

Hmm, I'm SOL! In my purse I have :keys, cell phone, DL, insurance cards, change purse, check card, coupons, tampons, and Burt's Bees. Also, a list, depending on what i'm doing.

You have bees in your purse? :o

[Trynn]

I only carry a purse in summer. In winter I have my coat pockets, and I will just carry my wallet and keys. In School, I use my backpack, in which I have several emergency items:

1. First aid kit (or specific parts of one, at least)

2. Kindle (in case of emergency boredom)

3. Rags to whipe up sweat (I have hyperhidrossis)

4. Lotion --for emergency dryness reduction

5. Chapstick for emergency dryness reduction of the lip

6. Menstrual cup, in case of birth control failure (in period regulation)

7. If I was sexually active, there would be condoms, in case of emergency need for sex

8. nuts, in case my blood sugar takes a sudden nose dive

9.Extra smartphone, in case of one phone dies and I'm suddenly unable to check my twitter account

I think that's about all my "emergency" items.

The extra smartphone isn't really for any "emergency" purposes, I'm just a tech geek.

[pixydust]

You have bees in your purse? :o

Burt's Bees, they make the best lip balm ever! I have a ponagranite balm and a lip gloss by them in my purse at all times.

[anniebgood]

Candy is a narcissistic bigot. She lives in a trailer park in Oklahoma. She wants her minions to follow her and some of them kiss up to her bigtime. Today she's telling us how she studies the Bible, and believe me, it's the only way to do it or else you are damned bigtime.

If you look for anything older than a week, it's gone. Her husband is a huge nutcase as well. Politically close to the PP, I am surprised they haven't met since he's a perfect IFB'er.

I could go on and on but I have to go to the natural food store and then to CVS to pick up my daughter's ebil birth control pills for her PCOS.

:twisted:

[ADoyle90815]

Burt's Bees, they make the best lip balm ever! I have a ponagranite balm and a lip gloss by them in my purse at all times.

I love those lip balms and lip gloss, as I always have those in my purse. I even got my fiancee into the lip balm when he didn't have any.

[JesusFightClub]

Where does she live that she needs a bandanna to set on fire? Does she have the need to make a molotov cocktail? Maybe she should cram an empty bottle as well, you know, just in case. And a small container of gasoline.

Another use for Lemurknits' tampons. Tampons are more effective than bandanas for yer Molotov.