Spanking is abuse Kendal!

[latraviata]

thefatherknowsbest.com/2013/02/behavior-charts.html?spref=fb

Kendal's elucidation on her FB page:

Thanks for your good thoughts! I have no problem using charts to encouraging something like reading but never to enforce basic obedience. Trust me, obedience in our house is very black and white! We keep things very simple. You disobey you get spanked. No bribing, no charts, no yelling, no time outs etc.. But there's lots of praise and encouragement.

Thanks for sharing!

[Buzzard]

I was tempted many years ago to use a behavior chart on my now oldest. She was probably 2 1/2 −3. I was desperate for her to "behave" and obey. Out of that desperation we considered doing a chart. But then I started reading some books about discipline and I realized I was just avoiding training her to obey me. I also realized that a sticker is not the reason I should teach her to obey her parents. God's word says so!

HUH? So positive reinforcement isnt "training" a child to obey?

Earning rewards for good behavior is as far away from the Gospel as you can get. Yes, I know, behavior charts seem innocent. It's the ideas behind them and the motives for doing it. You're doing the chart because you're desperate for good behavior. Trust me, I know that feeling! But there are better ways that reach the heart.

So let me get this straight, the only way you can learn to obey god is to be spanked? Gee... I do lots of shit and I havent been hit by any thunderbolts recently. Where does it say that rewarding a child for doing something good is against the rules?

God, these people are so dumb! If your child can learn the same thing in the end, isnt it better to teach them through positive means rather than violence?

[latraviata]

HUH? So positive reinforcement isnt "training" a child to obey?

So let me get this straight, the only way you can learn to obey god is to be spanked? Gee... I do lots of shit and I havent been hit by any thunderbolts recently. Where does it say that rewarding a child for doing something good is against the rules?

God, these people are so dumb! If your child can learn the same thing in the end, isnt it better to teach them through positive means rather than violence?[/quote]

Yes that is definitely better, you know it and I know it and every sensible parent knows it. I dare question her love for her children. In fact I question all (spanking) fundies love for their children, they talk about them as if they are their natural enemies. Normal child behaviour must be knocked out as soon as possible until they are completely submissive and deprived of their autonomy.

[Curious]

She seems to take pleasure in spanking her children. I get that some people spank their kids (it's not my way, personally) for whatever reason, but you can almost feel the glee coming off the majority of her posts, in my opinion. If you like spanking, that's cool, but you should be practicing it on a consenting adult, not your innocent kids.

[Koala]

too bad the person she's about to adopt a baby from can't read her vile bullshit

[valsa]

She seems to take pleasure in spanking her children. I get that some people spank their kids (it's not my way, personally) for whatever reason, but you can almost feel the glee coming off the majority of her posts, in my opinion. If you like spanking, that's cool, but you should be practicing it on a consenting adult, not your innocent kids.

Isn't she the one who laughed when her child described her as "angry"?

She reminds me a lot of my father. He would get this little look of delight on his face when punishing me (usually by spanking and slapping) because he enjoyed seeing someone fear him. I wouldn't be surpised if Kendull is the same way.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Fundies seem to get so much joy from spanking. Its creepy, I wonder if they would secretly want to be spanking eachother in a sexual way and this is the fundie socially acceptable way to spank someone without being seen as a pervert.

I wonder about what the future holds for kids trained in the Pearl way? I imagine theyre either going to end up as violent sociopaths who abuse their kids/partner and respond violently to everything because theyve been taught that violence is the answer, or completely afraid of everything and unable to express their opinion or do anything because theyre worried that someones going to hit them.

[latraviata]

She seems to take pleasure in spanking her children. I get that some people spank their kids (it's not my way, personally) for whatever reason, but you can almost feel the glee coming off the majority of her posts, in my opinion. If you like spanking, that's cool, but you should be practicing it on a consenting adult, not your innocent kids.

She is a very creepy woman. I agree, she seems to take pleasure in spanking her children. She homeschools and doesn't think one needs a 'dusty college degree'to do so.

thefatherknowsbest.com/2013/01/i-could-never-homeschool.html

And this woman is going to adopt a child, apparantly by drinking coffee you can contribute to her latest $ 26.000 costing misson/purchase. Creepy indeed!

thefatherknowsbest.com/2013/02/adoption-fundraiser-coffee.html

[valsa]

I wonder about what the future holds for kids trained in the Pearl way? I imagine theyre either going to end up as violent sociopaths who abuse their kids/partner and respond violently to everything because theyve been taught that violence is the answer, or completely afraid of everything and unable to express their opinion or do anything because theyre worried that someones going to hit them.

One of the Pearl daughters claims she a prophetess because she has re-occurring nightmares of post-apocalyptic futures where she and people like her are being hunted down and hurt or killed by various evil groups that have risen to absolute power. But it's totally not a reflection on a childhood spent the exact same way (sans the apocalypse)

[Freed]

(snip)

I wonder about what the future holds for kids trained in the Pearl way? I imagine theyre either going to end up as violent sociopaths who abuse their kids/partner and respond violently to everything because theyve been taught that violence is the answer, or completely afraid of everything and unable to express their opinion or do anything because theyre worried that someones going to hit them.

This is exactly what happens. I ended up the latter, but I could tell some really bad stories about the former. Violence begets violence, but this is a concept which escapes most fundies.

[latraviata]

Isn't she the one who laughed when her child described her as "angry"?

She reminds me a lot of my father. He would get this little look of delight on his face when punishing me (usually by spanking and slapping) because he enjoyed seeing someone fear him. I wouldn't be surpised if Kendull is the same way.

Yes, she did, she is too stupid to understand the sad purview of that answer.

[Koala]

Isn't she the one who laughed when her child described her as "angry"?

Yes, although ironically "angry" is the term she uses to describe non-spanking mothers. Logic fail, but then that's no surprise either.

[latraviata]

Fundies seem to get so much joy from spanking. Its creepy, I wonder if they would secretly want to be spanking eachother in a sexual way and this is the fundie socially acceptable way to spank someone without being seen as a pervert.

I wonder about what the future holds for kids trained in the Pearl way? I imagine theyre either going to end up as violent sociopaths who abuse their kids/partner and respond violently to everything because theyve been taught that violence is the answer, or completely afraid of everything and unable to express their opinion or do anything because theyre worried that someones going to hit them.

You can think of a wide range of psychological effects and aberrations.

[latraviata]

One of the Pearl daughters claims she a prophetess because she has re-occurring nightmares of post-apocalyptic futures where she and people like her are being hunted down and hurt or killed by various evil groups that have risen to absolute power. But it's totally not a reflection on a childhood spent the exact same way (sans the apocalypse)

Scary isn't it?

[Koala]

I don't drink coffee, but even if I did I'd as soon never drink another drop of it as to contribute a single fucking dime to help that woman obtain yet another child to hit.

[ILoveJellybeans]

One of the Pearl daughters claims she a prophetess because she has re-occurring nightmares of post-apocalyptic futures where she and people like her are being hunted down and hurt or killed by various evil groups that have risen to absolute power. But it's totally not a reflection on a childhood spent the exact same way (sans the apocalypse)

I dont know much about interpreting dreams, but even I can see that this represents her childhood, with her feeling powerless and afraid of being hurt by her abusive parents. The Pearls sicken me with the things theyve talked about doing to those poor children, and the things other parents have done to their children in their name. No wonder she feels like this.

[BoomerLynn]

How is it so easy for people like her to get approved for an adoption? I always thought it was a very difficult process with lots of hoops to jump through, yet these fundies seem able to just go pick out a baby to adopt the way most people would pick out a shirt. I do not understand this at all.

[latraviata]

Isn't she the one who laughed when her child described her as "angry"?

She reminds me a lot of my father. He would get this little look of delight on his face when punishing me (usually by spanking and slapping) because he enjoyed seeing someone fear him. I wouldn't be surpised if Kendull is the same way.

My late husband's father, a very orthodox catholic used to spank him and wanted him to cry as a result of his punishment, but he couldn't cry knowing his mother had forbidden him to cry, because that was not for boys.

It (and many other aspects of his fundie catholic upbringing) has taken him years of therapy.

[Curious]

How is it so easy for people like her to get approved for an adoption? I always thought it was a very difficult process with lots of hoops to jump through, yet these fundies seem able to just go pick out a baby to adopt the way most people would pick out a shirt. I do not understand this at all.

I thought it was evil to adopt or some such nonsense. Why are they adopting? Her factory shut down already?

[hoipolloi]

How is it so easy for people like her to get approved for an adoption? I always thought it was a very difficult process with lots of hoops to jump through, yet these fundies seem able to just go pick out a baby to adopt the way most people would pick out a shirt. I do not understand this at all.

QFT. What kind of reputable adoption agency would even look twice at a nutter like Kendall?

[dairyfreelife]

I thought it was evil to adopt or some such nonsense. Why are they adopting? Her factory shut down already?

I believe her husband wanted to adopt for awhile. I don't think it was her idea.

[valsa]

QFT. What kind of reputable adoption agency would even look twice at a nutter like Kendall?

Unfortunately, there are a few adopton agencies that consider raising a child to be a Christian (or the "right kind" of Christian, at least) to be the only qualification needed for adopting. After all, if good Christian soldiers don't adopt those kids, they might be raised Muslim or socialist or *gasp* gay!

[Myfanwy]

You know, reading all this information about How to be More Godly than Thou ™ makes me think these women must be exhausted from the constant competitions.

Firstly we have the Godly Daughter Race. Who loves daddy more? Who dresses more modestly? Who raises the most siblings?

Then we move on to the Godliest Wife Awards. Who is more subservient? Who has the most blessings? Who has the most sons? Who trains their blessings best? As part of the Godliest Wife Awards we also have the Starvation Ration Run, the Home schooling the Hoards and the Baby Beating on a Budget trophies up for grabs.

As if all that wasn't enough this all has to be done wearing a long skirt and a smile AT ALL TIMES. The woman must at no time yearn for some time to herself, an individual thought, a chocolate biscuit or for her children to grow into fully functioning adults with thoughts and plans of their own.

To make sure others know of their holey suffering they then must blog. Telling all the happy people who are not living in penury with their unfed uneducated family waiting for the next pearl of wisdom to fall from the lips of their lord and husband, that we are doin’ it wrong.

Personally if this was my life I would be on my knees nightly praying for the blessed sweet relief of death.

[wild little fox]

I wonder about what the future holds for kids trained in the Pearl way? I imagine theyre either going to end up as violent sociopaths who abuse their kids/partner and respond violently to everything because theyve been taught that violence is the answer, or completely afraid of everything and unable to express their opinion or do anything because theyre worried that someones going to hit them.

I can only speak for myself. It took me many years to change that part of myself that reacts with anger and violence. I've never hurt anyone as an adult but I've thrown things etc in the past.

I have a lot of fears and phobias. It took me YEARS before I felt comfortable expressing my opinion. I still back down from conflict. My parents split when I was nine. My life was different after dad, but I struggle with depression, anxiety and PTSD.

I was pre-Pearl. My parents used "The Plain Truth About Childrearing" by Garner Ted Armstrong. It is in the public domain. It is BAD but it isn't as severe as the Pearls. I fear for all these children raised by the Pearl's books. I wonder how they will be able to function at all as adults.

[wild little fox]

You know, reading all this information about How to be More Godly than Thou ™ makes me think these women must be exhausted from the constant competitions.

Firstly we have the Godly Daughter Race. Who loves daddy more? Who dresses more modestly? Who raises the most siblings?

Then we move on to the Godliest Wife Awards. Who is more subservient? Who has the most blessings? Who has the most sons? Who trains their blessings best? As part of the Godliest Wife Awards we also have the Starvation Ration Run, the Home schooling the Hoards and the Baby Beating on a Budget trophies up for grabs.

As if all that wasn't enough this all has to be done wearing a long skirt and a smile AT ALL TIMES. The woman must at no time yearn for some time to herself, an individual thought, a chocolate biscuit or for her children to grow into fully functioning adults with thoughts and plans of their own.

To make sure others know of their holey suffering they then must blog. Telling all the happy people who are not living in penury with their unfed uneducated family waiting for the next pearl of wisdom to fall from the lips of their lord and husband, that we are doin’ it wrong.

Personally if this was my life I would be on my knees nightly praying for the blessed sweet relief of death.

There should be an awards show :lol: