That Wife Pontificates

[Closed Womb]

The whole "That wife leading that life" part of her blog is gross. Her blog is gross. Why would someone say "HEY LOOK AT ME BE JEALOUS" if you want someone to be jealous of you, don't ask them to be.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yes.

One of my former jobs had me working with wealthy folks (mostly doctors and lawyers.) Many of them did not worry about meeting their needs/wants, they just wanted to make other men jealous. The biggest house, the nicest car, the prettiest wife, the best parties, etc., even if it meant stretching their finances to the limit or, in many cases, marrying people they were not compatible with just because it made other men envious. One man I knew couldn't even talk to his gorgeous wife; she was that uninteresting (he did not hate her or anything; he just could not carry on a conversation.) That Wife reminds me of them.

Sad, sad, sad, and I don't even think she knows how much happiness she could have had if she was living her life for herself instead of for the approval of others.

[onthefringe]

Yes, ThatOneIForgotandNeverLikedMuchAnyway (T1IFANLMA).

LMAO :lol:

[amster]

That Wife has posted another blog post, this time about potty training T1.

Now bearing in mind, I do not have any children of my own. However, there is something about her post that just seems off to me. Like she wanted to potty train him with the minimal amount of effort, and then brag about doing so.

Like I said, I don't have any kids, and TW ticks me off most of the time, so perhaps I am reading too much into it, or just don't understand.

thatwifeblog.com/2013/02/13/potty-training-t1/

[lilith]

I find it very odd that she was resistant to teaching him to pee standing up. I'm no PP, but my boys have always peed standing up - they had a step stool near the toilet when they were too little to reach. And yes, they did sometimes choose to wee in the backyard on the grass, but I've never thought a toddler doing that was a big deal. Hell

, plenty of grown men wee outside all the time!

[desertvixen]

I find it weird that she had to "invite him in" while she was "doing her business". Most moms I know can't keep the kids OUT of the damn bathroom, even when all we want is to pee in privacy.

[lilith]

I find it weird that she had to "invite him in" while she was "doing her business". Most moms I know can't keep the kids OUT of the damn bathroom, even when all we want is to pee in privacy.

QFT. Mine are all school age now and they still think me being on the toilet is the perfect time to come and talk to me, cause I'm a captive audience.

I did ask a close male friend to take my youngest son to the toilet a few times cause I didn't have a partner when I was toilet training him, just to show him how men did it, but they had all seen me and their siblings using the bathroom countless times.

[Libby Liberal]

That's weird, considering she posted pictures of T1 all over the internet peeing into the ocean while standing. He seemed to grasp the concept.

A kid who doesn't follow into its mother into the bathroom? That's...different.

That poor little boy. I feel so badly for him.

[B5SnowDog]

Considering the amount of time he spent in the bathroom when he was a baby, I'm not surprised he doesn't want to go in there.

[Gizmola]

Am I the only one that was struck by her revealing that her mother expressed a desire for T1 to be potty trained prior to his time at their home? There's something a little bothersome about it to me. Almost like the grandmother was hoping for the least amount of trouble possible when caring for T1. I wonder if that's where TW learned to be self-involved and that children should behave in accordance with what's most convenient for his/her caregiver.

I am always astounded by the lack of self-awareness and boundaries in this woman. Is there nothing sacred or private? From urine tainted birth water to magenta hued placenta prints, it seems she has no internal filter that prevents her from filling the interwebz with every bit of minutiae about her life. The fact that she continues to do so lets me know that she has no concept about how she comes across at all. The world, according to her, revolves around her, her wants/needs/desires and her obsession with herself - from her "style file" photos to her insistence on reporting over and over how T1's needs are just a burden to her - I just don't get it. I wonder if she is so insecure that the only positive feedback she gets is from blog comments (we sure know it's not from TA that she gets any warmth and validation) or if she is one of those girls who truly thinks that she's the most fascinating creature on earth.

While I know we've spent tons of time tearing apart TA - and I truly think he is an asshole - I also wonder what he sees in her. It seems that she was nothing of what he wanted in a girlfriend - overweight, irresponsible with money, unfocused - what changed his mind? Her pathetic PPT on marriage? Her persistence? Objectively, without knowing his personality, he's attractive, he's obviously academically intelligent and has a stable and lucrative career. Why would he settle for this irresponsible, self-obsessed diva to whom he wasn't attracted? What went through his mind in the three weeks between her saying, "I want you!" and him acquiescing? Was it merely a matter of him wanting someone pliable and worshipping of him? Was her PPT really THAT amazing to him? Or is there something else there I just can't see? In the end, I guess a man who locks up his wife's cheese and a woman who stuffs her baby in the bathroom are both assholes enough that they more or less deserve each other.

[OkToBeTakei]

Am I the only one that was struck by her revealing that her mother expressed a desire for T1 to be potty trained prior to his time at their home? There's something a little bothersome about it to me. Almost like the grandmother was hoping for the least amount of trouble possible when caring for T1. I wonder if that's where TW learned to be self-involved and that children should behave in accordance with what's most convenient for his/her caregiver.

I am always astounded by the lack of self-awareness and boundaries in this woman. Is there nothing sacred or private? From urine tainted birth water to magenta hued placenta prints, it seems she has no internal filter that prevents her from filling the interwebz with every bit of minutiae about her life. The fact that she continues to do so lets me know that she has no concept about how she comes across at all. The world, according to her, revolves around her, her wants/needs/desires and her obsession with herself - from her "style file" photos to her insistence on reporting over and over how T1's needs are just a burden to her - I just don't get it. I wonder if she is so insecure that the only positive feedback she gets is from blog comments (we sure know it's not from TA that she gets any warmth and validation) or if she is one of those girls who truly thinks that she's the most fascinating creature on earth.

While I know we've spent tons of time tearing apart TA - and I truly think he is an asshole - I also wonder what he sees in her. It seems that she was nothing of what he wanted in a girlfriend - overweight, irresponsible with money, unfocused - what changed his mind? Her pathetic PPT on marriage? Her persistence? Objectively, without knowing his personality, he's attractive, he's obviously academically intelligent and has a stable and lucrative career. Why would he settle for this irresponsible, self-obsessed diva to whom he wasn't attracted? What went through his mind in the three weeks between her saying, "I want you!" and him acquiescing? Was it merely a matter of him wanting someone pliable and worshipping of him? Was her PPT really THAT amazing to him? Or is there something else there I just can't see? In the end, I guess a man who locks up his wife's cheese and a woman who stuffs her baby in the bathroom are both assholes enough that they more or less deserve each other.

If I wanted to describe how I felt about this couple and could express myself better I would have written this. Great post Gizmola.

Her filter bothers me. I would dearly like to know the answers to many of the questions you pose.

They remind me very much of parents I know in IRL. It was just you know, the next accessory, having a baby. The great careers, the perfect house, the German cars. The perfect pregnancy. THEN the baby was a baby.

I cracked eventually at a dinner party when at least four sets of parents opined that leaving your children in an unlocked apartment on holiday 400ft away was perfectly acceptable and the McCann's were unlucky. That is one contentious event/story ..I know. But these parents felt in their retelling of the events that it was their entitlement on holiday to be child-free, you know it is a HOLIDAY!

[Morton Fan]

Am I the only one that was struck by her revealing that her mother expressed a desire for T1 to be potty trained prior to his time at their home? There's something a little bothersome about it to me. Almost like the grandmother was hoping for the least amount of trouble possible when caring for T1. I wonder if that's where TW learned to be self-involved and that children should behave in accordance with what's most convenient for his/her caregiver.

I thought the same thing - as if you can guarantee that a child will be potty-trained by a certain date. And in lots of ways, a (newly) potty-trained child is actually more work than changing diapers, as there is the constant "do you need to go?" and such. It seems very cold, self-serving, and distant IMHO.

While I know we've spent tons of time tearing apart TA - and I truly think he is an asshole - I also wonder what he sees in her. It seems that she was nothing of what he wanted in a girlfriend - overweight, irresponsible with money, unfocused - what changed his mind? Her pathetic PPT on marriage? Her persistence? Objectively, without knowing his personality, he's attractive, he's obviously academically intelligent and has a stable and lucrative career. Why would he settle for this irresponsible, self-obsessed diva to whom he wasn't attracted? What went through his mind in the three weeks between her saying, "I want you!" and him acquiescing? Was it merely a matter of him wanting someone pliable and worshipping of him? Was her PPT really THAT amazing to him? Or is there something else there I just can't see? In the end, I guess a man who locks up his wife's cheese and a woman who stuffs her baby in the bathroom are both assholes enough that they more or less deserve each other.

Right? I don't get it either. I don't find him attractive and I think he seems like a huge jerk, but surely there was someone else out there more suited for him.

My thinking is that, on paper, she sounds somewhat appealing. She's a well-known blogger and a good photographer; she comes from well-off parents with a hip family business; she decorates all Pinteresty and dresses her kids in expensive, hip outfits; she's a foodie who loves to cook and travel, and does it all while staying home, natural birthing and attachment parenting (ha!). Of course, none of these things really translate into reality.

[Black Aliss]

While I know we've spent tons of time tearing apart TA - and I truly think he is an asshole - I also wonder what he sees in her. It seems that she was nothing of what he wanted in a girlfriend - overweight, irresponsible with money, unfocused - what changed his mind?

He's gay. He needed a beard.

[ceg045]

He's gay. He needed a beard.

That's what I was thinking. My gaydar is pretty much nonexistent, but if what he wants in a partner is something he can never, under any circumstances, have as a Good Mormon Man, then I can see him figuring, "Well, this chick is head-over-heels in love with me. She's be the Good Mormon Wife (and Mother) that I need, and if she ever did happen to find out that I'm gay, she's too obsessed with keeping up appearances to out and/or leave me."

[salex]

This is a woman who convinced her husband to marry her via a PowerPoint presentation.

Argh! (long pause As I blink repeatedly and search for words)

WTF! (Still speechless)

OK.... (nope, still reeling)

WHy would anyone want to marry someone they had to convince to marry them? Is this another variation of the masochistic wife that seems to appear on several of the blogs commented on here at Free Jinger?

Now, my husband and I have pretty entertwined business lives, and have relatively frequent mutal goalsetting sessions, etc. but-- there was no convincing anyone to marry anyone in our relationship... it was all our friends and relatives could do to stop us from eloping the first week we met.

Ok, the rest of the words I'm coming up with are perjoratives about both of them... so I'll stop now.

[dawbs]

Argh! (long pause As I blink repeatedly and search for words)

WTF! (Still speechless)

OK.... (nope, still reeling)

WHy would anyone want to marry someone they had to convince to marry them? Is this another variation of the masochistic wife that seems to appear on several of the blogs commented on here at Free Jinger?

Now, my husband and I have pretty entertwined business lives, and have relatively frequent mutal goalsetting sessions, etc. but-- there was no convincing anyone to marry anyone in our relationship... it was all our friends and relatives could do to stop us from eloping the first week we met.

Ok, the rest of the words I'm coming up with are perjoratives about both of them... so I'll stop now.

I think you have to request access to see it now, but...

linkage broken:

bo.lt/1802m

[valsa]

Am I the only one that was struck by her revealing that her mother expressed a desire for T1 to be potty trained prior to his time at their home? There's something a little bothersome about it to me. Almost like the grandmother was hoping for the least amount of trouble possible when caring for T1. I wonder if that's where TW learned to be self-involved and that children should behave in accordance with what's most convenient for his/her caregiver.

Self-involved and also impractical. Even someone like me, who has never had a child, knows it's not unusual for newly potty trained kiddos to regress if there's a big upheaval in their lives. Which would mean that even if T1 is fully potty trained before going to stay with his grandparents, he may not be afterward.

[JenniferJuniper]

Self-involved and also impractical. Even someone like me, who has never had a child, knows it's not unusual for newly potty trained kiddos to regress if there's a big upheaval in their lives. Which would mean that even if T1 is fully potty trained before going to stay with his grandparents, he may not be afterward.

My girls basically trained themselves by 2. My son, number 3, went back and forth, progressing and regressing until he was over 4. He's a very bright boy and by that age we were able to have conversations about his reluctance to give up his pull-ups. His pediatrician kept telling me not to worry, all kids are different, especially boys, and that he'd never seen a man walking down the aisle on his wedding day wearing Elmo diapers.

[YPestis]

While I know we've spent tons of time tearing apart TA - and I truly think he is an asshole - I also wonder what he sees in her. It seems that she was nothing of what he wanted in a girlfriend - overweight, irresponsible with money, unfocused - what changed his mind? Her pathetic PPT on marriage? Her persistence? Objectively, without knowing his personality, he's attractive, he's obviously academically intelligent and has a stable and lucrative career. Why would he settle for this irresponsible, self-obsessed diva to whom he wasn't attracted? What went through his mind in the three weeks between her saying, "I want you!" and him acquiescing? Was it merely a matter of him wanting someone pliable and worshipping of him? Was her PPT really THAT amazing to him? Or is there something else there I just can't see? In the end, I guess a man who locks up his wife's cheese and a woman who stuffs her baby in the bathroom are both assholes enough that they more or less deserve each other.

It could be many reasons. I'm new to That Wife but from what others have said but maybe TA is attracted to her insecurity? Someone like her enjoy validation and can be sensitive to criticism. TA may feel a sense of superiority or power when his words can offer control over her. Or, it could be as a Mormon and a business person (I remember there was mention of MBA from UofChicago, right), married men are more welcomed in both environments. He may figure she's there and is available at a time when he needs to get married so he does. Of course, we are all hearing about him from HER perspecive. He could be a regular guy but she has issues to work through and paints an unflattering picture of him online. I know that I could selectively twist issues between my SO on a blog and people would probably think he's an insensitive jerk (even though he's not).