That Wife Pontificates

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I love how she wrote in her birth announcement on the blog that this baby is so much easier that she might even have time to blow dry her hair! Seriously, what? I've never had a baby, and I'm pretty vain, but how many women give a fuck about their hair two days after giving birth???

[YPestis]

Why do people think TW may end up favoring the second child over the first one? If she's not much of a mother, it seems like the second child will be no different, and possibly more difficult to care for. She now has a toddler and a newborn, I don't think the second child's first year will be less taxing than her firstborn's first year. I often wonder what happens to moms like these who are conditioned to have large families and then find out they are ill-equipped to do so? Do they go the Anna T way and admit that limiting family size is ok? Or just keep popping out babies until they go crazy?

[OkToBeTakei]

In the previous post she actively sought out a nursery place that was not 3 hrs?

7am - 6.15pm.

We enrolled him for MWF. The teachers are all very kind, and I enjoyed having 3 full days per week to myself with enough time to go to the gym, run errands, shower, eat, and still have a few hours to pay bills and attack my inbox. Not to mention the million home-decor projects I assigned myself when we moved. And to take a nap as I advanced in my pregnancy and became more tired each day! I love having some time to myself while T1 is able to have social interactions with other children/learning to navigate the structure of other environments and I’m really grateful to be in a place (physically/financially) where we can make that happen. I love that I can make to-do lists that involve things on the computer and I don’t have to let T1 destroy my office in order to write a check to PG&E for our electricity that month. Or that I can go to bed at 8pm instead of staying up late doing that stuff when he is playing with toys in his room (instead of sleeping) each night.

She then, if I am reading right found another she preferred and put him in that for a while as well. So 3 full days and 2 half days?

It would appear he is now 5 half days at the new place which..

yes, means a lot of driving or a lot of time sitting at coffee shops because my errands are done but school is not

This child is 2 and a half?

By 3 he will be in boarding school.

[Patsy]

By 3 he will be in boarding school.

And I wanted to cry whenever I passed a boarding school in my hometown that took four-year-olds, but I think that would be best for him.

[lilith]

And I wanted to cry whenever I passed a boarding school in my hometown that took four-year-olds, but I think that would be best for him.

I agree, they both seem a lot happier since T1 has been in preschool.

It may not be ideal, but five days with engaged teachers and peers to play with has got to beat playing with his three toys while she barricades herself in her office with baby gates and plays online all day.

[Feberin]

I agree, they both seem a lot happier since T1 has been in preschool.

It may not be ideal, but five days with engaged teachers and peers to play with has got to beat playing with his three toys while she barricades herself in her office with baby gates and plays online all day.

I agree! For most two year olds with SAHM I would think time spent at home to be best but for him if she out him in for five full days that would be great for him!

[Libby Liberal]

Why do people think TW may end up favoring the second child over the first one? If she's not much of a mother, it seems like the second child will be no different, and possibly more difficult to care for. She now has a toddler and a newborn, I don't think the second child's first year will be less taxing than her firstborn's first year. I often wonder what happens to moms like these who are conditioned to have large families and then find out they are ill-equipped to do so? Do they go the Anna T way and admit that limiting family size is ok? Or just keep popping out babies until they go crazy?

I think she really wanted a girl. Plus, she stuck T1 in the bathroom in a pack n' play for the first couple of years of his life (despite the fact they lived in a two bedroom apartment), but created a nursery for this baby. Oh, and while this baby gets a normal middle class nursery? T1 sleeps on the floor of his (non earthquake safe) bedroom on a very thin mat. Seriously, my foster dog has a nicer bed.

Anyway the honeymoon might be over with T2 because the poor baby has the temerity to want to EAT and Jenna's not producing milk.

[Conuly]

I can't decide. Is it better for both kids to be treated the same - that is, awfully - or for one at least to get a normal amount of attention and affection from Mom? In the former case at least they have each other, which they might not if they're treated differently.

[MamaJunebug]

I've yet to figure out her appeal.

She's not stick-thin but she cares about clothes.

She posts way, way, way too many photos of herself in the same outfit with the same smile and the same hand-on-hip, one-foot-pointed-out-to-make-the-leg-look-slimmer pose.

The point? I'm neither young nor Mormom but I am half Polish and yet I just don't get it.

[Morton Fan]

I think she really wanted a girl. Plus, she stuck T1 in the bathroom in a pack n' play for the first couple of years of his life (despite the fact they lived in a two bedroom apartment), but created a nursery for this baby. Oh, and while this baby gets a normal middle class nursery? T1 sleeps on the floor of his (non earthquake safe) bedroom on a very thin mat. Seriously, my foster dog has a nicer bed.

Yes ... it seems as if TW kind of gave up on T1 when he didn't fit her ideals (he has some developmental delays, couldn't/didn't nurse, etc.), so my reasoning was that I could see her throwing out T1 with the bathwater and starting anew with T2.

"Anyway the honeymoon might be over with T2 because the poor baby has the temerity to want to EAT and Jenna's not producing milk."

Agreed. I assume you're referring to her tweets this morning:

"Jenna Cole â€@jennacole

2 straight hours of her demanding to be at the breast. Gave in and am trying to sleep sitting up. #zombiemoms

8h Jenna Cole â€@jennacole

Between the baby who constantly wants me to feed her, my sore bum, and my contracting uterus, I don't think I'm getting much sleep tonight."

Well ya, TW. Most mothers aren't getting a lot of sleep TWO DAYS AFTER THEIR BABY IS BORN. This is not unexpected. And who calls their two-day-old "demanding"??

[meda]

Some pics of her waterbirth:

birthbykellym.com/2013/02/the-birth-of-marie-rene/

ok, granted I am a bitch and someone who really does not care about the birth experience, but a professional photographer at a birth? Really? How is this a thing? Why would anyone want this to be a thing? When I do this in 5 months I expect to in pain and dealing with a variety of bodily fluids. I do not want to pay to have the experience photographed and put on a website. I understand a few pictures being taken informally by family, but anything else seems very odd to me.

[valsa]

Since I have a feeling T2 will be favored no matter what, and because T1 got so much crap even though he seems like such a good baby, am I the only one who hopes T2 is a little hellion?

I just like picturing the Mormon God going "Since you didn't appreciate the easy baby I already gave you, have fun dealing with this one, lady"

[Morton Fan]

ok, granted I am a bitch and someone who really does not care about the birth experience, but a professional photographer at a birth? Really? How is this a thing? Why would anyone want this to be a thing? When I do this in 5 months I expect to in pain and dealing with a variety of bodily fluids. I do not want to pay to have the experience photographed and put on a website. I understand a few pictures being taken informally by family, but anything else seems very odd to me.

Agreed. I wouldn't have wanted just my puffy face on public for all the world to see (I had a c-section), much less my nude, laboring, doggy-pad-peeing self. To each their own, I guess.

[Morton Fan]

Since I have a feeling T2 will be favored no matter what, and because T1 got so much crap even though he seems like such a good baby, am I the only one who hopes T2 is a little hellion?

I just like picturing the Mormon God going "Since you didn't appreciate the easy baby I already gave you, have fun dealing with this one, lady"

I kind of hope so, too, except that I would be genuinely worried for the well-being of T1 and T2 if this happened. It would feel so good if she finally realized that T1 was a sweetheart all along and that she should have been grateful for what she had.

[Spider Burps]

ok, granted I am a bitch and someone who really does not care about the birth experience, but a professional photographer at a birth? Really? How is this a thing? Why would anyone want this to be a thing? When I do this in 5 months I expect to in pain and dealing with a variety of bodily fluids. I do not want to pay to have the experience photographed and put on a website. I understand a few pictures being taken informally by family, but anything else seems very odd to me.

I was wondering the same thing. On what occasion would you look at the pictures? Is it something they do as a family each birthday--leading up to the IMAX viewing for the bar/bat mitzvah--or is it more casual than that? Like, when new neighbors move in do you pop by with a tater top casserole and a "Hi! We're the Jonses, and have we got a slideshow for you!"? imagination>

[OkToBeTakei]

You know, I clicked the link for her twitter about an hour ago left it open in a tab. Went shopping, came back. Christ she has not stopped. :shock:

[Morton Fan]

You know, I clicked the link for her twitter about an hour ago left it open in a tab. Went shopping, came back. Christ she has not stopped. :shock:

I know, isn't it insane? She's just SO prolific and has no natural sense of boundaries. It's sad to me that the first thing she wants to do (besides eat avocado cake) after the baby is born is tweet incessantly. It just seems so cold and distant ... which really suits her, I guess.

ETA: oh heavens. According to Twitter, she's cloth diapering again. Say it ain't so. THIS is TW's version of nighttime cloth diapering:

thatwifeblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/c554e57.jpeg

[kaetrin]

ok, granted I am a bitch and someone who really does not care about the birth experience, but a professional photographer at a birth? Really? How is this a thing? Why would anyone want this to be a thing? When I do this in 5 months I expect to in pain and dealing with a variety of bodily fluids. I do not want to pay to have the experience photographed and put on a website. I understand a few pictures being taken informally by family, but anything else seems very odd to me.

I don't know why this is a thing, either, but I know someone who is developing her photography business in that very direction. She also showed a slide show at her "meet-the-baby" shower of her own professionally-taken birth photographs.

It seems to go along with the whole "childbirth is such a beautiful natural womanly process and never goes wrong and is the apex of your LIFE" attitude. The sort of midwives and doulas and (apparently) photographers who refer to themselves as "the birth community." I'm like.. isn't everyone who has been born part of the "birth community"? I guess I'm not sufficiently womanly or in touch with my body. Whatevs.

(It also seems to be part of this trend that every Important Event in your life needs to be professionally photographed for thousands of dollars or else you don't Care about your Memories. It's not just wedding pics any more. It's engagement, wedding, pregnancy, birth, and newborn photography now. I respect that my photographer friends want business and ought to be paid in proportion to their skill and time, but I really dislike the guilt-tripping that I sense sometimes in the manufacture of occasions, if that makes sense.)

Sorry, I get a little ranty about this topic. :-)

[OkToBeTakei]

I know, isn't it insane? She's just SO prolific and has no natural sense of boundaries. It's sad to me that the first thing she wants to do (besides eat avocado cake) after the baby is born is tweet incessantly. It just seems so cold and distant ... which really suits her, I guess.

She probably spends more time tweeting about the issues she has than actually doing anything about them. That or Candy whatever it is.

[meda]

I don't know why this is a thing, either, but I know someone who is developing her photography business in that very direction. She also showed a slide show at her "meet-the-baby" shower of her own professionally-taken birth photographs.

It seems to go along with the whole "childbirth is such a beautiful natural womanly process and never goes wrong and is the apex of your LIFE" attitude. The sort of midwives and doulas and (apparently) photographers who refer to themselves as "the birth community." I'm like.. isn't everyone who has been born part of the "birth community"? I guess I'm not sufficiently womanly or in touch with my body. Whatevs.

(It also seems to be part of this trend that every Important Event in your life needs to be professionally photographed for thousands of dollars or else you don't Care about your Memories. It's not just wedding pics any more. It's engagement, wedding, pregnancy, birth, and newborn photography now. I respect that my photographer friends want business and ought to be paid in proportion to their skill and time, but I really dislike the guilt-tripping that I sense sometimes in the manufacture of occasions, if that makes sense.)

Sorry, I get a little ranty about this topic. :-)

Ok, I'm glad it's not just me then. I admit I'm pretty not into the whole glamour of pregnancy and birth thing (my birth plan at the moment consists of me being sedated throughout labor while Mr meda paces in the hallway and chain smokes) so I never know if my reaction to this stuff is normal or not.

[Morton Fan]

Ok, I'm glad it's not just me then. I admit I'm pretty not into the whole glamour of pregnancy and birth thing (my birth plan at the moment consists of me being sedated throughout labor while Mr meda paces in the hallway and chain smokes) so I never know if my reaction to this stuff is normal or not."

I'm biased in the same direction - when we were in the hospital about to have our first child, someone asked if we had a "birth plan" and my husband said, "She just wants to play it all by ear." I am so NOT into thinking it's some life-changing and cleansing experience, so someone like TW especially shocks me.

[Morton Fan]

She probably spends more time tweeting about the issues she has than actually doing anything about them. That or Candy whatever it is.

Ha! Yes, Candy Crush on her phone.

[kaetrin]

I'm biased in the same direction - when we were in the hospital about to have our first child, someone asked if we had a "birth plan" and my husband said, "She just wants to play it all by ear." I am so NOT into thinking it's some life-changing and cleansing experience, so someone like TW especially shocks me.

Yeah. I don't have any children (yet? maybe?) so I guess I shouldn't talk, but I'm pretty sure my birth plan is "no unnecessary people in the room and if I demand drugs, give them to me."

[Libby Liberal]

You know, my mother is far from perfect, but if I posted a picture of my baby wearing three cloth diapers she'd say something about it. How does no one in her life not tell her she needs help?

Although maybe someone did and that's why T1 goes to daycare. That poor baby. As an educator, and someone who dealt with developmental issues myself, I'm usually loathe to blame the parents for their child's issues...except in this case, when these two asshats shoved their kid in a bathroom and Jenna spent her days ignoring him. And then couldn't be bothered getting him the help he needed because she couldn't stand to see someone play with him.

I really, really think she needs serious help and I hope she gets it.

I've had two children, and while I wanted to avoid a c-section and like to move around, I've just never seen giving birth as the capstone experience of my life. I'm far more interested in the children the birth produced.

[Nothing2CHere]

Yeah. I don't have any children (yet? maybe?) so I guess I shouldn't talk, but I'm pretty sure my birth plan is "no unnecessary people in the room and if I demand drugs, give them to me."

My birth plan (from before I even was attempting to get pregnant) was "Drugs. Drugs, drugs, and more drugs." I ended up having a scheduled c-section, and oh boy, did I have some good drugs - I didn't feel a THING :)

I also wanted to mention in regards to this:

Wow, what a bitch! Most mothers just want a healthy baby at the end of pregnancy, even if they end up with an emergency C section.

This is WHY I chose to have a scheduled c-section. I was afraid, given my baby's estimated weight, that if I tried to have a vaginal birth he'd get stuck or they'd have to break his shoulder or use a vacuum or clamps or whatever they use nowadays to get him out, that he might suffer from stress if it was a long labor, and that I might very well have needed an emergency c-section in the end anyway.

Also, on her blog, she asks people to remember to call ThatGirl T2. But she posts a photo of her baby with the girl's name for all the world to see... :?