That Wife Pontificates

[fundamentalistnomore]

Wait, WHAT?!?! Please share where the bolded can be found so I can read it and clutch my pearls. Truly?? That is crazy. I'm a pretty devoted TW snarker, and yet somehow missed this. Do share!!!

One thing to add to the list: she got a coochie-tightener (had to be shipped from Canada since they're illegal here) since That Husband was worried her coochie would be too loose after having a baby. He wanted her to get the tightener; it wasn't just her own hangup. It cost 250 dollars, and she said she was glad it was such a priority to him.

I was shocked myself, TW & Zsusza are the only fundies I follow. I'm one of those people that loves psychology & these two are the most interesting to me. I found it here: getoffmyinternets.net/gomi-forum/lifestyle-bloggers/that-wife-1/ which has a link to her blog where she posted it. BUT...it's over 200 pages long & I'll try & find the link later. It would be simpler to find it on her blog, but I'm not willing to give her page click$$$. Here's some more oversharing if you can stand it: http://getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife- ... lady-area/

[Morton Fan]

I was shocked myself, TW & Zsusza are the only fundies I follow. I'm one of those people that loves psychology & these two are the most interesting to me. I found it here: getoffmyinternets.net/gomi-forum/lifestyle-bloggers/that-wife-1/ which has a link to her blog where she posted it. BUT...it's over 200 pages long & I'll try & find the link later. It would be simpler to find it on her blog, but I'm not willing to give her page click$$$. Here's some more oversharing if you can stand it: http://getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife- ... lady-area/

This may provide good evening reading for me tonight -- thanks for sharing:)

[Funky Chicken]

Her husband:

-had to be convinced to marry her via powerpoint (with shrek quotes & everything)

-was afraid they weren't going to be able to do be intimate on their wedding night because she was not his desired weight

-originally from Poland, & quite successful, despite not being born a black woman (his words, now deleted)

-leaves love notes around the house (squeeze your belly fat...etc.)

I think the ppt is still online if you google "that wife" "marriage powerpoint" However most of this stuff you can't find because her husband made her delete/erase a majority of her internet persona.

Didn't he refuse to date her unless she lost weight? I think that got deleted too...

[Fun-Dee]

Didn't he refuse to date her unless she lost weight? I think that got deleted too...

He also locks up the cheese, since she is so horribly fat! Or at least he thinks she is.

[Maggie Mae]

He also locks up the cheese, since she is so horribly fat! Or at least he thinks she is.

I'm sorry, what?

How is he OK with a wife that has so little self control that he needs to lock up food?!? How is she OK with a husband who thinks she has so little self control that he needs to physically prevent her from eating? How is this OK in any relationship? Short of an actual addiction, I can't see this being healthy. I mean, if my SO was obese and came to me and said "I went to the doctor, and he feels that I am morbidly obese. I like food a lot, so I'm going to lock the fridge between these times and only allow myself x amount of calories. Will you please hold me accountable & here is the key." I would be okay with that, because it's something he chose to do.

However, I'm pretty sure that in this hypothetical situation, if I was like "baby, looks like you are getting fat. I'm going to lock the refrigerator because I want you to lose weight. Come see me if you are hungry" I think I'd be finding another partner.

[Daisy]

thatwifeblog.com/2010/04/01/prepping-my-body-for-baby-2/

This is where she talks about the coochie stretching device. She is so weird.

I hope I broke the link to that correctly by the way

[desertvixen]

Thanks, Daisy.

Going to have nightmares now. Also, if you are old enough to be talking about kegels and inserting oil capsules and stuff into your "va-jay-jay" (I am sorry, but I hate that word with a burning passion) then you are old enough to call it your vagina. Every time you talk about it.

Also, coyness about "inserting sperm", teehee. I need to go gag myself now (where is my spoon when I need it?)

[LilMissMetaphor]

I'm sorry, what?

How is he OK with a wife that has so little self control that he needs to lock up food?!? How is she OK with a husband who thinks she has so little self control that he needs to physically prevent her from eating? How is this OK in any relationship? Short of an actual addiction, I can't see this being healthy. I mean, if my SO was obese and came to me and said "I went to the doctor, and he feels that I am morbidly obese. I like food a lot, so I'm going to lock the fridge between these times and only allow myself x amount of calories. Will you please hold me accountable & here is the key." I would be okay with that, because it's something he chose to do.

However, I'm pretty sure that in this hypothetical situation, if I was like "baby, looks like you are getting fat. I'm going to lock the refrigerator because I want you to lose weight. Come see me if you are hungry" I think I'd be finding another partner.

Maybe it is a Mormon thing. (ducks) I read another blog where the couple is LDS and the guy put banana peels into his wife's half-eaten container of ice cream (which then froze solidly into it) as a "hint" that she needed to think about losing weight. She wasn't even that big. :roll: Though of course that wasn't the real issue, when it's about control and not her size.

She admitted to being mad about it at the time but that she felt thankful later or some such stupid jazz, that he cared enough about her to give her a reminder like that.

I say, you mess with my ice cream, you're gonna see my best Lorena Bobbit impersonation.

[dawbs]

the cheese jail was discussed on GOMI, if that's heplful:

getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife-locks-up-the-cheese-again/

[BravaAmica]

Maybe it is a Mormon thing. (ducks) I read another blog where the couple is LDS and the guy put banana peels into his wife's half-eaten container of ice cream (which then froze solidly into it) as a "hint" that she needed to think about losing weight. She wasn't even that big. :roll: Though of course that wasn't the real issue, when it's about control and not her size.

She admitted to being mad about it at the time but that she felt thankful later or some such stupid jazz, that he cared enough about her to give her a reminder like that.

I say, you mess with my ice cream, you're gonna see my best Lorena Bobbit impersonation.

He froze old banana peels to her ice cream? A man does that to my ice cream, I'd have to wrap his dick in banana peels. And super glue. Don't fuck with my ice cream.

[YPestis]

Thanks for those that provided summaries for That Wife. I only started reading her blog recently and she seemed pretty harmless. I guess she did a good job scrubbing her blog. I saw her most blog and it mentioned placing her kids into full day preschool. I thought it was kind of odd since she's a SAHM of the Mormon "motherhood is the highest calling" variety. I find it odd that she would decide to do full days so she can "run errands". Honestly, while caring for a young child keeps one busy, it's not *that* bad that she has to send her kid away for a whole day. Based on what has been written and what people say she's scrubbed from her blog, it seems like This Wife is not ready for motherhood. Maybe she felt pressure from her cultural upbringing to marry and have kids. Maybe she has unresolved issues which manifests in trying to do the "perfect Mormon" wife role. Whatever it is, it seems sad that such an intelligent woman appears deeply unsuited for her job.

[TaylorMaid]

Thanks for those that provided summaries for That Wife. I only started reading her blog recently and she seemed pretty harmless. I guess she did a good job scrubbing her blog. I saw her most blog and it mentioned placing her kids into full day preschool. I thought it was kind of odd since she's a SAHM of the Mormon "motherhood is the highest calling" variety. I find it odd that she would decide to do full days so she can "run errands". Honestly, while caring for a young child keeps one busy, it's not *that* bad that she has to send her kid away for a whole day. Based on what has been written and what people say she's scrubbed from her blog, it seems like This Wife is not ready for motherhood. Maybe she felt pressure from her cultural upbringing to marry and have kids. Maybe she has unresolved issues which manifests in trying to do the "perfect Mormon" wife role. Whatever it is, it seems sad that such an intelligent woman appears deeply unsuited for her job.

I don't think it's a question of her being ready for motherhood, she just isn't meant for it at all. And I could swear in one of her more candid moments, she actually admitted it. In the past she has said that she doesn't like spending time with T1 because it's boring. I remember a "how I spent my day" post where the kid was peripheral to everything, even though he was an infant. Feeding and caring for him was arranged to maximize her blogging and free time. I don't know how much is scrubbed from the archives, but it used to be there were no books in that house, and T1 had like three toys (because she didn't want to have to clean up after him).

Yes, he is controlling and mean, but I get the sense that she is so desperate for any attention from him that she is happy to take his shit.

The whole situation is very sad to me, which is why I haven't read since the move. He didn't want her, she didn't want T1, and now they (plus an incoming apparently) are all strapped together for life and beyond (if you believe LDS theology).

[ADoyle90815]

I don't think it's a question of her being ready for motherhood, she just isn't meant for it at all. And I could swear in one of her more candid moments, she actually admitted it. In the past she has said that she doesn't like spending time with T1 because it's boring. I remember a "how I spent my day" post where the kid was peripheral to everything, even though he was an infant. Feeding and caring for him was arranged to maximize her blogging and free time. I don't know how much is scrubbed from the archives, but it used to be there were no books in that house, and T1 had like three toys (because she didn't want to have to clean up after him).

Yes, he is controlling and mean, but I get the sense that she is so desperate for any attention from him that she is happy to take his shit.

The whole situation is very sad to me, which is why I haven't read since the move. He didn't want her, she didn't want T1, and now they (plus an incoming apparently) are all strapped together for life and beyond (if you believe LDS theology).

That's true, and as I mentioned in another thread, I think she had such low self esteem that she believes that her only worth as a Mormon woman was to become a wife and mother, even if it meant manipulating someone who didn't even want her into marrying him through a PowerPoint presentation featuring quotes from Mormon leaders about marriage. She probably feels stuck since even if she were to divorce ThatAsshole through the civil courts, she'll still be "sealed" to him in the afterlife since getting that canceled is extremely rare. She's happy to take the shit from her husband because she's desperate for any attention from him, including losing weight so he'll "allow" her to get pregnant again, when she wasn't anywhere close to being morbidly obese.

[fundamentalistnomore]

Her husband:

-was afraid they weren't going to be intimate on their wedding night because she was not his desired weight (yes, English is my 1st language & the Grammar Police love me)

To everyone who asked about the part in bold: I'm going to say, sorry for not posting this without proof, because I'm a big fan of 'pics or it didn't happen.' The best I can find right now is on pages 62-64 of GOMI forum about that wife. (August 14, 2012, 10:23 am) & (August 15, 2012, 7:05 pm) After reading and having a twinge of empathy for TW, I searched the forum and looked for an actual link.

getoffmyinternets.net/gomi-forum/lifestyle-bloggers/that-wife-1/page-62/

Now, after going back again, I'm going to say I'm wrong because I can't find the proof. So unless someone who has been following the post and & has a screen shot.....

The best I can guess:

- the original poster requested it be deleted

- it got scrubbed off during her internet scrubbing around 2011 or so

- i have an active imagination

Ypestis, on the 'getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife-still-obsessed-with-her-lady-area', I noticed that servers at GOMI give you a 403 error if you click it. However it can be found by manually going through <-- Read Previous Posts.

tl;dr I have no proof Sorry :oops: :oops:

[Hane]

I lurk on an exmormon forum, so I know way more about the LDS than any normal person should.

Yes, heterosexual marriage is mandated. A single person cannot get into the best part of Mormon heaven (the "Celestial Kingdom"). A righteous single woman may be able to get into the CK, but as a "servant." Some LDS theologians posit that single women will get husbands "assigned" to them in the afterlife. There is polygamy in the CK--a man who has been married and "sealed in the Temple" to more than one woman will have them as wives in the CK.

And families that have been "sealed in the Temple" will be together forever, as long as they live righteous lives. This is a big guilt tool for LDS folks who start having doubts about their religion: LDS mothers give doubting or "apostate" kids grief about breaking up their "forever family."

And the CK doesn't sound like my idea of a picnic: women will spend eternity birthing "spirit children" who will need Earthly bodies to inhabit, so, women, get crackin'.

A passive-aggressive Mormon expression for damning a woman's appearance with faint praise is to call her a "sweet spirit." Occasionally, the LDS higher-ups give young Mormon men a little guilt message about giving those poor "sweet spirits" a tumble. But no worries: unmarried "sweet spirits" will be able to get into the CK as servants, and maybe hit the jackpot by being assigned to some dude as a sisterwife.

For Mormons, the Absolutely Most Important Thing In The World is getting married and having babies. If neither feels right for you, you're screwed.

[OnceModestTwiceShy]

I go back and forth between wondering if she truly absolutely hates herself, or if she is so self-absorbed that she doesn't even notice (or think through the implications) of her life and how it looks to outsiders. She blogs, like many fundies (not that she is a fundie - I am making a comparison), about things that she seems to think sound so great, but people outside the bubble read and scratch their heads. She seems proud of convincing TH to marry her despite his lack of attraction to her, his stalling, his disrespect, etc., to the extent that she doesn't seem to realize how pathetic it all sounds. And then she calls herself "that wife", which I take to imply "that wife who has everything others want". And in reality, I cannot think of a single woman who wants that kind of relationship.

[Daisy]

She is in labor. Poor T2, no idea of the hell he/she is about to enter.

[Morton Fan]

Her husband:

-was afraid they weren't going to be intimate on their wedding night because she was not his desired weight (yes, English is my 1st language & the Grammar Police love me)

To everyone who asked about the part in bold: I'm going to say, sorry for not posting this without proof, because I'm a big fan of 'pics or it didn't happen.' The best I can find right now is on pages 62-64 of GOMI forum about that wife. (August 14, 2012, 10:23 am) & (August 15, 2012, 7:05 pm) After reading and having a twinge of empathy for TW, I searched the forum and looked for an actual link.

getoffmyinternets.net/gomi-forum/lifestyle-bloggers/that-wife-1/page-62/

Now, after going back again, I'm going to say I'm wrong because I can't find the proof. So unless someone who has been following the post and & has a screen shot.....

The best I can guess:

- the original poster requested it be deleted

- it got scrubbed off during her internet scrubbing around 2011 or so

- i have an active imagination

Ypestis, on the 'getoffmyinternets.net/that-wife-still-obsessed-with-her-lady-area', I noticed that servers at GOMI give you a 403 error if you click it. However it can be found by manually going through <-- Read Previous Posts.

tl;dr I have no proof Sorry :oops: :oops:

Thanks for searching!!! I believe you!!! It wouldn't shock me if it got scrubbed when TH did the big Sanitize the Internet quest of '11.

ETA: Here are the references that you were probably referring to (in case anyone else is as interested as I was:)):

"I'm hung up on TA's "I probably won't be able to get it up on our wedding night" comment. I can really only think of a few reasons a man might say this.

1. He's gay.

2. He's a bully.

3. He's really, really not that into you."

"WHAT MAN WOULD DO THAT? And what guy says "sex is off the table" for the honeymoon…I mean, um, isn't that what honeymoons are for?"

"It IS sad. According to my friend, Jenna told everyone about this to try and get ideas for other things to do on their honeymoon since sex was off the table. Their response was a resounding "Don't marry this guy!!!", but Jenna wouldn't hear any of it. She was adamant about going through with the marriage. Not that Jenna's a peach, but everyone who's ever met TA offline thinks he's a giant a-hole."

ETA again: from what I can find, it seems like maybe it was a rumor from a friend of a friend. So, she maybe didn't actually post it online which is why there's no link, but it's something she told a friend.

[Morton Fan]

She is in labor. Poor T2, no idea of the hell he/she is about to enter.

And it begins. Heaven help us/T2.

"Jenna Cole â€@jennacole

Pulling the avocado cake out of the freezer. Swaying my hips as I play Candy Crust. Water broke 4 hours ago. I'm having a baby today!"

[Closed Womb]

That Wife: sigh. I can't decide if I hate her with an almighty passion or if my soul weeps for her.

She's a lovely looking woman. There is this whole "fat" thing, but I certainly don't see it. And, furthermore, I am of the opinion that "fat" and "pretty" are *NOT* mutually exclusive ideas. Certainly, That Asshole has the right to find whatever type of woman he prefers attractive. Clearly, for whatever reason, she is not it.

Since she is obviously physically appealing, which is something that is venerated in US culture, it makes me wonder if this is just a manifestation of low self esteem. Instead of finding someone who would praise her, do for her, bask in her beauty, she twists the arm of some jackwagon that thinks she's "meh."

I'll be quite honest: Jenna is drop dead gorgeous compared to me. But, Mr. Womb and I connect in a way that I really did not think was possible prior to meeting him. He showers me with love. But, then again, I loved myself long before I met Mr. Womb and I knew I deserved love and respect (and was willing to give the same.) Maybe she's getting what she thinks she deserves? Sad, if that's the case.

[fundamentalistnomore]

Thanks, Morton Fan.

[Nothing2CHere]

She posted a photo of T2 on her Instagram. It's a girl.

[JenniferJuniper]

Beautiful baby.

It's hard to imagine how she is going to cope with a toddler and a newborn, but I wish them all well.

[BravaAmica]

Beautiful baby.

It's hard to imagine how she is going to cope with a toddler and a newborn, but I wish them all well.

I know. I was brokenhearted when I heard she was having another baby. She's not suited to motherhood at all. Or at least suited to being a SAHM.

[Morton Fan]

I was kind of hoping it would be a second boy. I feel like this child may be the charmed child and T1 will become the scapegoat. I hope not:(