A Real Dilemma for Bathroom Baby

[lilwriter85]

Exactly. I wonder if they will stop with two arrows or not. In my experience, two is an entirely new ball game.

I also wonder if they will stop at two. There are Mormon families that are smaller. There is a Mormon blogger that I've been following for almost a year and she has implied that she won't be having more than 2 kids. But I suspect with this blogger she has health issues and she had a c-section with her second child and she might not want to try a VBAC or deal with another c-section.

With ThatWife, it is hard to predict what she and TD will do. I can see them feeling out of place with two kids, while some of their fellow Mormons have five or more. If they continue to want keep with their fellow Mormons, they will have five kids and then stop. In some ways, ThatWife pisses me off more than Zsu, or the other bloggers we discuss. Zsu has talked about how noises and how some of the things her kids do annoy her, but she doesn't do some of the shitty things ThatWife does. Zsu has taken pictures of kids playing with a lot of toys. Stephanie Nielson annoys me quite a bit, but at least she has always been content with being a Mormon SAHM.

[littlehouse]

whispers I sort my kids toys whispers

Takes all of 10 minutes to clean up at the end of the day. Oldest is 3 1/2 and youngest is 1 1/2. They both know where the blocks are, cars, octonauts, playmobil, play food, etc. Rarely do I hear where is so and so, everything is easy to see and most importantly easy to access. Works for us.

Never have I been upset or suprised when bins are dumped. This is what kids do. I don't know how she is going to handle herself when the second comes. I feel for those babies.

[Conuly]

Ok, I was referring more to TW's unwillingness to alow a 3 year old to mess up a perfectly decorated and "sorted" room than to common sense sorting of small parts and fragile things, but I accept that this will be probably be a parenting fail on my part.

Oh, yes, there is something seriously control freaky wrong with that. He's small, he's unsupervised, she SAID he could play with his toys instead of sleeping - what the hell else was going to happen?

But you just resign yourself to putting them all away again later, with or without the kid's help.

[dawbs]

I DO like having all the toys sorted. That way "momma, play blocks in livin room" is accomplished by me grabbing the blocks bin and carrying it to the living room. And by carrying it back to her room when we're done.

But I do't expect them to STAY that way. She doesn't dump all of them into a giant pile (my kid hates mess--FTR, she doesn't get that from ME), but things get shuffled and we get busy and some days, we do just dump everything out of the way.

I'm glad he has toys though.

[Morton Fan]

I DO like having all the toys sorted. That way "momma, play blocks in livin room" is accomplished by me grabbing the blocks bin and carrying it to the living room. And by carrying it back to her room when we're done.

But I do't expect them to STAY that way. She doesn't dump all of them into a giant pile (my kid hates mess--FTR, she doesn't get that from ME), but things get shuffled and we get busy and some days, we do just dump everything out of the way.

I'm glad he has toys though.

The sorted toys or not is kind of a non-issue. What I find bizarre is the fact that she a) is shocked that he dumped out a bin of toys, despite her directive that he "play as long as he likes" in his bed b) complains about having to pick said toys up/helping T1 pick them up and c) finds whether or not to sort them enough of a conundrum that she had to consult strangers on Instagram.

Motherhood, it doesn't come naturally to TW.

[dawbs]

true...I don't exactly consult the moms of FJ on the sort/don't sort.

I do what works for me and assume that that doesn't happen to be one of the ways I'll screw up my kid because, really, it's a toy box.

[Abi]

She just seems like she has no idea about children.

And she's about to have another one :doh:

[penguinagogo]

but look at the positive

T1 has some toys

he apparently has a bed

and can communicate

surely this is some progress!

All sarcasm aside I feel so sorry for that poor wee mite - saying 'I be good' and trying to please a mother who doesnt seem to care enough to find out about basic child development or provide him appropriate stimulation in terms of both playing and language .

[August]

Right. Because kids really need organized toys to play with them :::eyeroll:::

Yes, TW. Dump them all into a toy box. He can take the time to look through it to find what he needs.

Mine do. Whenever I've sorted them they rediscover so much stuff, and they get so many more ideas on what they can play. Think about it - you either have a big basket of random crap, or you have a smorgasboard of ideas - tinker toys? blocks? cars? weaving?

[valsa]

She just seems like she has no idea about children.

And she's about to have another one :doh:

This is a woman who had to be taught by her son's developmental therapist how to play with him and that dumb, boring, repetitive games were indeed what toddlers should be doing.

She shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children, let alone be having them.

[ILoveJellybeans]

She had to be taught how to play with her toddler? Wasnt she ever a kid? Did she not have little siblings or cousins who she could learn from?

I thought that kind of thing just came naturally

[snarkykitty]

I'm stressed out looking at the photo, not for the pile, but because that uncovered electrical outlet is staring back at me. I don't even have kids (but have a bunch of nieces and nephews) and I know that you put those plastic thingies in the outlets so that kids don't stick things into them.

And why is a toddler sleeping on a single mattress on the floor?? Then again, it's an improvement from the bathroom, but don't have kids if you can't afford to provide proper sleeping areas for them.

[AmyP]

I'm more concerned with the unsecured outlet that T1 can play with at night when he gets bored with his toys. I can't imagine a mother falling asleep while a three year old is still awake and playing around by himself.

[Abi]

This is a woman who had to be taught by her son's developmental therapist how to play with him and that dumb, boring, repetitive games were indeed what toddlers should be doing.

She shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children, let alone be having them.

Jesus. Surely it's common sense that games and, oh I don't know SOME INTERACTION, are needed for the normal and healthy development of a child?

[Abi]

I'm more concerned with the unsecured outlet that T1 can play with at night when he gets bored with his toys. I can't imagine a mother falling asleep while a three year old is still awake and playing around by himself.

This boggled my mind too. I don't have children, but I still know that you don't get into bed and go to sleep when you know a 3 year old is out of bed and playing with his toys.

That poor little boy :(

[valsa]

She had to be taught how to play with her toddler? Wasnt she ever a kid? Did she not have little siblings or cousins who she could learn from?

I thought that kind of thing just came naturally

Yeah, I was incorrect about which therapist it was though, it was his speech therapist. Some of the amazing things she'd been taught:

What I love about the therapy is that she has given me some key strategies for working with him on my own time. Using a puzzle and holding the pieces up to my mouth as I say the name of the animal, only giving him one block at a time and forcing him to say please/more (in sign language) if he wants another one, a whole new way to read a book with him (just asking him to point at specific characters/things in the book, not worrying about the words on the page). Each week I look forward to seeing what new toys she brings, and how she uses them. It’s been a fantastic experience.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have tons of experience with toddlers but who doesn't read a book to a kid that way? Who doesn't say things like "Oh, what's that?!? *point*" and "That's right! That's a doggy! Good job." when reading a book to a little kid?

The speech therapist though? She is a gem. I would pay a lot of money to spend time watching her work with T1, not because I think he wouldn’t get into Harvard without her, but because she is showing me all these interesting and useful techniques for interacting with my son. I see new ways to focus his attention when working on a puzzle, how to turn it into a learning experience instead of me passively sitting by and clapping when he gets it right. Now I pick up the pieces, say the name of the animal, make the sound of the animal, hold it next to my face when I say it so he sees my lips move, make him say “please†before I give him the piece, and use lots of positive reinforcement when he chooses to put it in the correct spot. All of my children will benefit from my time spent with her.

Again, who just silently watches their baby complete an animal puzzle and apparently doesn't interact with them at all, other than passive, seemingly uninterested clapping at the end? Poor T1 probably feels more like he's performing for a bored audience than playing a game with a loving mother.

[BlondeAgent007]

Mine do. Whenever I've sorted them they rediscover so much stuff, and they get so many more ideas on what they can play. Think about it - you either have a big basket of random crap, or you have a smorgasboard of ideas - tinker toys? blocks? cars? weaving?

I guess my train of thought is that T1 probably doesn't have that many toys to begin with. He only had 5 for the first two years of his life. If it's legos or something that's one thing. He can't have more than 15 or 20 toys all together at the moment. And his books are also completely out of reach.

[Abi]

Wow.

She really is clueless :(

[DoozerEquinox]

I'm stressed out looking at the photo, not for the pile, but because that uncovered electrical outlet is staring back at me. I don't even have kids (but have a bunch of nieces and nephews) and I know that you put those plastic thingies in the outlets so that kids don't stick things into them.

And why is a toddler sleeping on a single mattress on the floor?? Then again, it's an improvement from the bathroom, but don't have kids if you can't afford to provide proper sleeping areas for them.

The bed is a "Montessori bed" because T1 goes to Montessori preschool

If it were anybody but TW I'd say that their kid must not be interested in outlets. But with her you never know.

[Conuly]

She had to be taught how to play with her toddler? Wasnt she ever a kid? Did she not have little siblings or cousins who she could learn from?

I thought that kind of thing just came naturally

In fairness, a lot of people have trouble interacting with babies and toddlers. We mostly don't remember that period in our lives, and we are less and less likely to have had copious babies around to practice on as children.

Of course, most people in this situation realize they have a problem and read up on child development and go to play groups and such in order to remedy it. They do this BEFORE they're forced to by speech delays. And while it's possible to just be crappy with babies, nothing I've read gives me hope that she will be any better with her kids when they're older. Normal people who aren't good with kids either don't have them or, if they already had one, stop having them until they can fix the problem. Some people are never naturally good with kids, but nearly everybody can learn. Parents usually want to learn, because they love their kids.

As far as the mattress goes, I guess it depends on whether she's just too lazy to put up a bed or if she deliberately chose to put up a floor bed to encourage independence. (Yes, that's a thing, though not a common one, I think.) Of course, if that's the case then she really ought to have baby proofed the room better. I can say from experience that a lot of outlet covers can be easily pulled out by an interested toddler, but if that is the case then there still is no excuse for not putting the dresser right in front of the outlet instead. This isn't rocket science. Encouraging independence is a valid approach (I'm aware I'm being generous here), but reasonable safety measures won't ruin that.

And if that is all the toys he has, I must say, it's not very many for a toddler who is about to get a sibling. They're fairly well off, aren't they? It's not that toddlers need tons of toys, exactly, but most people with a little money spend some of it on their kids playtime, don't they? Especially at that age?

[BlondeAgent007]

Did we all miss her Halloween post? Or did I just miss it?

thatwifeblog.com/2012/10/31/hallowen-2012/

Her and T1 went as Ann and Mitt Romney.

Edit: My apoligies, Mitt Zombie. I guess that's a little better.

[Izzybee]

Why was his first reaction (or so she says) "I be careful with my toys mama". Why was it not "look, mama! It's a ------- ( horse or whatever he has)"?

Generally when a three year old is playing with their toys, their thoughts really are not with being careful, even if the kid is just careful by nature. Why was the poor thing worried about her being mad after being told he could play with toys? He really is a kid I want to take home and give lots and lots of attention to, just like Lauren's sparkly brood.

[Morton Fan]

Why was his first reaction (or so she says) "I be careful with my toys mama". Why was it not "look, mama! It's a ------- ( horse or whatever he has)"?

Generally when a three year old is playing with their toys, their thoughts really are not with being careful, even if the kid is just careful by nature. Why was the poor thing worried about her being mad after being told he could play with toys? He really is a kid I want to take home and give lots and lots of attention to, just like Lauren's sparkly brood.

I know, so weird. I can't even imagine a three-year-old having to be careful with TOYS. With my kids, toys are the one thing they're allowed to manipulate in pretty much any way they want (barring throwing them at a sibling, being unsafe, etc. etc.). I wouldn't let them destroy them (marker on a doll) if I was watching, of course, but I wouldn't expect them to be "careful" with their toys. I would expect the toys to be sufficiently child-proof if I was going to leave my kid alone with them.

[jenny_islander]

Do parents really sort toys by type and expect kids to keep them that way?

When they're a lot older than this, yeah. Like, a lot older.

At my girls' ages (8 and 6), things they can't be bothered to pick up and organize tend to migrate into a box marked "Thrift Shop." If they pick up things from one heap, play with them, and dump them into another heap, that's not the same as losing interest in them, of course! (I should note that my husband and I are not only the babies of large families, but also one of the youngest couples in our church, so we get a metric buttload of hand-me-downs. So we need to keep 'em moving.)

[keeks21]

She's only upset because it wrecks her instagram photo op of perfectly organised toy bins.

He's a fucking child not an instagram opportunity.