Sarah Maxwell is 31 today.

[Vex]

Happy birthday, Sarah. I hope that this year leads you to finding happiness, either on your own or with a spouse who loves and cherishes you above the bible.

[lilith]

Happy birthday, Sarah. I hope that this year leads you to finding happiness, either on your own or with a spouse who loves and cherishes you above the bible.

A spouse who loves and cherishes her above the bible is probably Sarah's idea of unequally yoked hell with a non believer. I think she wants a man who can love and cherish the bible with her, and that their relationship with each other would be secondary to their relationship with Jesus. Which is very sad.

[dpndetfarm]

So John got 11 birthday wishes a couple days ago, but Sarah got none? What is she? Chopped liver? I feel like I need to go over and wish her a happy birthday to make up for the loser followers. That to me says more about her worth than anything else. She is not even worthy of a happy birthday.

[Jana814]

So John got 11 birthday wishes a couple days ago, but Sarah got none? What is she? Chopped liver? I feel like I need to go over and wish her a happy birthday to make up for the loser followers. That to me says more about her worth than anything else. She is not even worthy of a happy birthday.

Was totally going to just post something about not having her posts shown!!! Thanks!!!

[Stanley]

Maybe there should be a plot to have her land on Paul Arndt's doorstep.

[Jana814]

Another difference I noticed between the post for John. & the post for Sarah is, in John's they wrote each person's name, & in Sarah the wrote "your family".

[Esther]

Of everyone we snark on here, I probably feel worst for Sarah. Even within fundie circles, the Maxwells are fringy and, though I would love for her to meet a nice partner soon, I just don't feel it's going to happen unless something drastically changes. I think that she'll turn 32 next year and 33 the year after, and if FJ is still around fourteen years from now, people here will talk about her turning 45 and still waiting for God/Steve to drop a husband in her lap. It just isn't going to happen and I find it downright awful to "watch" a clearly capable young woman's life being destroyed by the people who should supposedly love and support her. Not that fundie marriage is all that great a fate, mind - but to teach a girl that that's her only purpose in life and then withhold it from her is incredibly cruel.

[gustava]

That she has been lauded for her "servant's heart" is telling prescriptive. She is the family servant: aunt to her siblings' children, and caregiver of her parents as they age.

[adidas]

That she has been lauded for her "servant's heart" is telling prescriptive. She is the family servant: aunt to her siblings' children, and caregiver of her parents as they age.

:(

It's very sad.

[lilith]

It's going to kill her when Anna and Mary marry, which I think will be within the next five years.

Her fertility will go into sharp decline at the same time as her little sisters start pumping out babies, and she'll be alone with Steve and Teri cleaning ceiling fans that don't need cleaning.

[ShesCrafty]

That she has been lauded for her "servant's heart" is telling prescriptive. She is the family servant: aunt to her siblings' children, and caregiver of her parents as they age.

Exactly. I think Steve will eventually marry off Anna and Mary because it would be bad for business if none of the daughters marry. But Sarah has been chosen to stay home and serve her parents. Plus, she generates income through maintenance of the blog and the Moody books. No way is Steve giving that money up.

[sunshine]

Exactly. I think Steve will eventually marry off Anna and Mary because it would be bad for business if none of the daughters marry. But Sarah has been chosen to stay home and serve her parents. Plus, she generates income through maintenance of the blog and the Moody books. No way is Steve giving that money up.

Wow! Are you saying that their children who earn their own income cannot save it? With her books, I'm sure she can afford her own home by now.

[jockosmom]

Wow! Are you saying that their children who earn their own income cannot save it? With her books, I'm sure she can afford her own home by now.

I'd be willing to bet my next paycheck that Sarah does NOT have access to the total of whatever money her Moody books have made. I'll bet she gets a small percentage that is hers to spend on whatever - frumper material, extra beans for the burritos. But I imagine the bigger percentage of income from those books goes right back into the family "ministry".

[keeks21]

Sarah reminds me of the Greek and Italian families we have in Australia. It's very common for the kids to stay at home until marriage and then before they know it the daughters are 35 and still at home. My mums friend had enough and moved out at 35 and bought a house interstate much to the upset of her family but she now loves being free.

Sarah if you're reading this you can get out and get your independence. Start to set aside money, take some small college classes to get your skill set up to date and work on a resume. Look into administration contract work because its short work and quick cash. Look for Share accommodation advertisements in your local paper, local Internet advertisement site. When picking a share accommodation to live at make sure the tenants share things like bills and rent and either have employment of savings to pay rent. If you want to live in a party house that's cool but if you don't then avoid the houses with the empty bottles of vodka still around the house. If you find yourself missing the community of your family/religion group then look into joining a local book club, team sport, craft group. You can find these advertised at craft stores or community notice boards.

Living in the real world is HARD but it's awesome. You can do your own thing and grow and learn from your mistakes like your parents have had the opportunity to.

[SPHASH]

We should change the name of this site to Free Sarah

[MyName]

I'd be willing to bet my next paycheck that Sarah does NOT have access to the total of whatever money her Moody books have made. I'll bet she gets a small percentage that is hers to spend on whatever - frumper material, extra beans for the burritos. But I imagine the bigger percentage of income from those books goes right back into the family "ministry".

oh yeah, there's no way she gets to keep her money. I'm betting daddy dearest gives her an allowance.

[Marian the Librarian]

:angry-steamingears:

Comments on the birthday post are up, and oh what a coinky-dink! Steve-o has edited mine!!

Sarah, honey, what I really said was "All best wishes for a year of freedom and happiness."

Freedom, Steve. Freedom. What's so threatening about one little old word???

[gardenvarietycitizen]

It's going to kill her when Anna and Mary marry, which I think will be within the next five years.

Her fertility will go into sharp decline at the same time as her little sisters start pumping out babies, and she'll be alone with Steve and Teri cleaning ceiling fans that don't need cleaning.

SRSLY. I think it must have been shock enough when Joseph got engaged, because he was the first one YOUNGER than her to do so. But still, he was a boy, so not quite the same sort of competition (not to mention that it got called off and he's not actually married).

If Anna or Mary marries before Sarah, she will have been officially passed up.

Now, I didn't marry until age 38, and my younger sister married quite a few years before I did. (And now she has kids, I'm voluntarily childless.) But the difference is, I had been an independent single woman making my own way in the world long before that, long before either of us married. I was an ADULT. With the Maxwell children, they're officially "children" until they marry, they have no say in anything, they're still sheltered to some extent (though according to "Hearts" they supposedly still desire for that go go on). I mean, geez, Joseph owns a house for heaven's sake and he still isn't permitted to move out and live alone, as a MAN.

When Anna marries, she will instantly become an adult while Sarah is still left a child, unless some serious change of pattern happens in that family.

You can see some variation of this in some other fundie circles too (minus the aging to 31, that is) - it's like the moment you marry, well, then you've had sex, so there's all kinds of adult secrets you now share, you join the community of women, etc etc etc, you become a mom, all that. To be passed up at that by a younger sibling would have to hurt.

[MyName]

:angry-steamingears:

Comments on the birthday post are up, and oh what a coinky-dink! Steve-o has edited mine!!

Sarah, honey, what I really said was "All best wishes for a year of freedom and happiness."

Freedom, Steve. Freedom. What's so threatening about one little old word???

wow, what a controlling nut. you aren't allowed to wish freedom? can us post the broken link...I think more of us need to wish her a happy day. ;)

[Marian the Librarian]

wow, what a controlling nut. you aren't allowed to wish freedom? can us post the broken link...I think more of us need to wish her a happy day. ;)

Happy to oblige!

titus2.com/blog/index.php/2013/01/19/happy-birthday-sarah-3/#comments

[Dev83]

It is very sad that I have had more fulfilling experiences in the last year than she has probably had in her entire life. She is a year and a half older than me, yet I am married, a college grad, have a career, a home, my own pets, I travel, go on adventures, watch movies and read more books than I can count. She lives at home, has always lived at home, has no prospects for love, and has never had the opportunity to do something for herself, simply because she wants too and it has meaning to her. What a terribly depressing existence.

[Loveday]

It is very sad that I have had more fulfilling experiences in the last year than she has probably had in her entire life. She is a year and a half older than me, yet I am married, a college grad, have a career, a home, my own pets, I travel, go on adventures, watch movies and read more books than I can count. She lives at home, has always lived at home, has no prospects for love, and has never had the opportunity to do something for herself, simply because she wants too and it has meaning to her. What a terribly depressing existence.

Yep. Even my 21 year old daughter has had more fulfilling experiences in the last few years than Sarah has ever had in her entire life. She's at college eight hours away from home, living in an on-campus apartment with three other girls, she's spent a semester in Europe, she went to Australia for a month when she was sixteen (with the church youth group, no less, for the Catholic Church's World Youth Day--spent one day seeing the Pope and the rest of the time traveling around and having a blast! :lol: ), she's gone bungee-jumping, she was a class officer almost every year of high school, she was on the swim team (defrauding swimsuits! :naughty: ) and the field hockey team, she's captain of her intramural team at college (4 different sports, 4 sets of totally immodest shorts)...

I could go on, but am suddenly overwhelmed with sadness for everything that Sarah has missed out on. And now she's missing out on just being a normal, independent adult. :cry:

Edited because I hit submit instead of preview before I was finished.

[samurai_sarah]

(snip)

When Anna marries, she will instantly become an adult while Sarah is still left a child, unless some serious change of pattern happens in that family.

You can see some variation of this in some other fundie circles too (minus the aging to 31, that is) - it's like the moment you marry, well, then you've had sex, so there's all kinds of adult secrets you now share, you join the community of women, etc etc etc, you become a mom, all that. To be passed up at that by a younger sibling would have to hurt.

I am willing to pray for the bolded to whatever deity might be listening. I genuinely hope and wish for her that she obtains the opportunities to make choices about her life, and do what makes her happy. Right now, I don't see her actually choosing to live under Steve-o's absolute tyranny, but having been brain-washed into it. Personally, every time I see a picture of her, all I can think is that she has such sad eyes. To me, she seems to smile for the camera only, whereas her younger sisters seem to smile genuinely in most pictures (that I've seen).

It makes me feel so mad at Steve, and sad for Sarah. My dad's mission statement - when he found out that he was going to have a daughter - was to raise an independent woman. He's by no means perfect, but he has always believed that it was his job to make sure that I had the confidence and skills to make it on my own. So, at 31, I'd been living on my own for 12 years, had travelled extensively, had lived in different countries, worked in a variety of jobs, got undergrad and postgrad degrees, had gone through a serious relationship that broke up, had settled down and lived with a long-term partner, and made an awful lot of mistakes. I'm glad that I made mistakes, and had to sort out the mess I made, because that taught me more about life than any book, especially a Maxwell book, could. It also taught me an awful lot about compassion, which is something I don't really see in the Maxwells.

I hope for Sarah that she finds an opportunity to make choices, instead of "being used by the Lord" only. The choices I made with my life are not for everyone, but neither are the choices the Maxwells make. All I want for her is a chance to assess her situation freely, realize that she has opportunities, and then make a choice, whichever form that might take.

[kpmom]

Wow, almost every comment on Sarah's birthday post contains the words "blessed", "bless", or "blessing". Even their comments are boring.

And did you read the comment about the little boy who struggled to read, but caught the reading bug from a Moody book his sister was reading ( I'm hoping there is a vaccine for that)? It's a Maxwell Moody miracle!

[WonderingInWA]

I, too, had made a myriad of life "mistakes" by the time I was 31, but I learned so much from them. In my opinion, preventing "mistakes" doesn't teach you more than learning from making them. But of course, I'm on the other side of those mistakes and now am raising my own kids. The default is that you want to teach your kids not to make mistakes, but you have to give them the wriggle room to make them anyway (hard to watch, but necessary, I think). Sarah has probably never made a single mistake in her life. And she wouldn't know what to do with the results of one if she made it. It's sad. She has no way of helping herself or of helping society except for her power to pray. Oh, and she can take some pictures.