Thoughts from a Pro-life Birth Control Activist

[AddieBelle]

It is nobodys business what a grown women decides to do with her body. If the anti-choice people would mind their own business we wouldn't have this problem at all. Who gives a shit if the lady down the road uses bc, has an avortion, or has 10 kids. I don't understand why politicians feel its necessary to involve themselves in complete strangers sex lives.

[Austin]

Slightly OT, Mary was a presenter at a conference I attended in November. Even with our differences of opinion, she was very kind and gracious, and very passionate about informing anti-abrtion folks about the importance of birth control in reducing the abortion rate, and not particularly keen on criminalizing abortion. I had no idea she passed away. I know she had a lot of health issues, but this is unexpected.

She and I participated in a day-long conversation workshop on reproductive justice. She's one of the rare anti-abortion people (I hesitate to call her anti-choice, because she didn't actually take the step of wanting to make abortion illegal) that actually walked the talk and did all those things that I, as a pro-choice person, tend to say "If you were really pro-life, you'd do XYZ."

This doesn't change the fact that she was outright against abortion, or that she and I disagreed sharply on a very basic premise of bodily autonomy, but I am sad for her daughter and grandkids. And she was one of the few anti-abortion people I could actually have a rational conversation with and who had real interest and investment in the "common ground" movement, without demanding additional restriction on abortion as a prerequisite for conversation.

I think you make an important distinction between being anti-choice (you want to legislate what is right for other people) and being anti-abortion, which I just understand to mean that the individual would never make that choice for themselves or their loved ones, but does not want to interfere with the rights of others. When I meet people who describe themselves as "pro-life" (a completely inaccurate term for anyone), I immediately ask them if they would limit abortion rights if they could. Some say no. So to me, they just have a personal opinion about abortion that has nothing to do with interfering with the reproductive rights of others. I think they're entitled to that opinion, even if I disagree with it.

[desertvixen]

I'll admit that if contraception failed for me and I ended up pregnant, I would keep the pregnancy. I feel that abortion for me is wrong. But that's just it, I don't feel it's right for me. Just me and only me. It is right for many other women. It's their body, their right to continue or not continue with a pregnancy, to sacrifice her body and even life to grow another human and give it life.

This. There are a few limited circumstances in which I can envision abortion being an okay choice for me to make, and I just really hope I don't have to deal with them.

The thing is, for me, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have health care, the kid would have health care, I wouldn't lose my job or my seniority, I have a guy who I want to marry, and I have a family that supports me no matter what. I want to have another child, but for various reasons, NOW is not a good time.

Not everyone has that. Not everyone wants to have a child. Which is why we have to keep abortion legal, and accessible.

[Austin]

This. There are a few limited circumstances in which I can envision abortion being an okay choice for me to make, and I just really hope I don't have to deal with them.

The thing is, for me, it wouldn't be the end of the world. I have health care, the kid would have health care, I wouldn't lose my job or my seniority, I have a guy who I want to marry, and I have a family that supports me no matter what. I want to have another child, but for various reasons, NOW is not a good time.

Not everyone has that. Not everyone wants to have a child. Which is why we have to keep abortion legal, and accessible.

QFT.

[JesusFightClub]

I am fine with someone being anti-abortion provided they are not trying to make it illegal or more difficult to obtain, and they are not shaming women who have them. You have the right to believe that full human life begins whenever, and other people can think differently.

I appreciate the emphasis on birth control access and doing meaningful things to prevent the need for abortion. In a perfect world, all babies would be planned and wanted, and maternal/fetal health issues would not happen.

However, I am not going to wave the "Well Done, Sister Suffragette" flag for this lady because she is still choosing a fetus over a woman by being pro-life. That is not feminism. The average elective abortion happens when there is a conflict between the woman's rights and the socially perceived "rights" of the fetus. You are not a feminist if you choose the fetus over the woman--you just aren't. You are anti-woman because you want to give the fetus rights at the expense of a fully-developed human being's rights.

QFT. This sums it up brilliantly.

If I (for some strange reason) became pregnant, as soon as I knew I would abort. It's not because I hate babies (I like babies very much) or I buy into some culture of death or some stupidity like that. It's because I can't take care of one, and I don't see my role (with a blood disorder) as being an incubator so a nice middle class family gets a child.

There's no guarantee teh baybeee would look cute, blond haired and blue eyed. An adoptable infant. It's more likely to come out with a genetic disorder (like my cousin did, and she died within a few hours of birth) or someone like me who has periods which last for two weeks and cause me to faint in public. And maybe they aren't white. Non white babies with a genetic disorder, why they're queuing out the doors for that. Oh no, they aren't.