Bates Courtship

[Iokaste]

What about Michaela and Zach?

What about them? It's not like there is a rule that marriage has to happen in birthorder, even in fundieland, Anna D. married before Priscilla. Personally I'm happy whenever I see fundie-spawn get just a little into their 20'ies before they marry. So many of the things that makes the rest of us grow up, college, living on your own, dating different people, forming political opinions different from your parent's, etc, are forbidden, so for them to at least not be teenagers and dealing with marriage, babies, economy, seems lie a good idea.

Wasn't it once mentioned that someone wanted to court Michella when she was 16, but the gatekeepers turned him away, do we know more about that?

[Buzzard]

I most defintely do believe this will be a TLC VSE. The question is whether they can get it all planned out in time for valentines day... The Bates have enough of a following to put some eyeballs on a show (hey, they just did "most awesome funeral" or something stupid like that) and its not like they'll want a wedding at the Waldorf, most likely something in a local church and no booze! Pretty cheap as far as TLC goes.

I'm sure the Duggars will be there, glaring. I feel so bad for the older girls who can only wish it were them achieving the dream of being a submissive woman.

I'd expect they take up with Gotahard, she can teach music on the "journey" until she is "with child" and then take her place folding napkins all day with Prissy.

[Jana814]

Still reading the entry, but wow, he says he FELL IN LOVE WITH HER, and they're not even married or engaged yet!! :o I thought that was a big no-no for fundies? Interesting.

Haven't read all the comments on here yet. But I did read what he wrote on their blog. I really hope that this works out for Erin & Chad (he seems to really love her).

[GeoBQn]

From the comments on the Bates family blog:

Molly January 8, 2013 at 5:38 am

I see from this picture that they don’t have the extra, er, distance between them that Zach and Sarah chose to keep – does this mean that each of yours are encouraged to make their own decision in terms of contact between them and the person that they’re courting?

Good luck to them!

Kelly January 8, 2013 at 6:31 am

Molly,

They’ve chosen to not hold hands at this point, but yes, we think they should pray about their goals and commitments. They both love the Lord and we trust they will make wise choices! They both want purity before maarriage, but we’re glad there’s a little spark of romance in their eyes, as well!Love, Kelly

So they still can't hold hands, and Kelly has low standards for how much romance she wants to see in their eyes.

Also, Bayley has finally caught up on the news. She claims that Chad visited to "make it official" on December 5. Since the courtship pictures on the blog look like they are from early fall, I'm guessing the "making it official" part is actually an engagement.

[nokidsmom]

Looking at the pics, they look like they are genuinely in love. I get a much better vibe from them than I have with courtship / engagement pictures of other fundie couples. And I like the fact that he posted honestly about his feelings for her instead of doing a "sturdy woman" a la Peter Bradrick. Now that was squicky. He's smitten allright and she seems pretty happy too.

However.....

Ha! Yeah I get a princess vibe from Erin. He seems so smitten I bet she'll be spending g lots of time with her pregnant feet up, pouting. At least at first... 5/6 kids later, she'll just fall apart.

Yep, I do wonder how she is going to adjust to being a submissive wife and SAHM, caring for a bunch of kids. Her musical talent has no doubt given her opportunities to perform and travel. How is she going to feel being stuck at home? She has pursued some education, even though it's Crown College. So she's relatively better educated than your typical SOTDRT fundie gal. And she is the pretty princess who has been admired, praised, and indulged. I have seen the TLC show where she's lying about as the family bustles around. The scene where they took shelter from a storm in a hotel showed her as pretty freaked out. How is she going to cope with the realities of being a fundie wife?

[Ramona]

A ten year age gap doesn't seem like much to me ~ most of my married family members have at least a six year difference, many have more. I think there's fifteen years between one set of grandparents.

[Iokaste]

Actually I think marrying someone older and who might even be the oldest in his family (judging by the family-picture on the Paine'sblog), will work out well for Erin. I know sibling-positions are a little more blurry in these mega-families, but Zach and Michaella seems to be clearcut first-borns, so naturally Erin has taken on a "little-sister persona", hence all her cutesiness and princessy behaviour.

Without knowing anything about them at all, it seems like they could be a great match, he'll just continue taking charge as he always has as the responsible older brother and she'll goof around and be decorative wich seems to have always been her role.

Freud steps of his soap-box...

[HOTW]

My parents had a seven year age difference and they got married when my mother was 17(she left school just before her 15th birthday in the UK) She learned bookkeeping on the job and once they married she stayed home and was responsible for home and finances. My Daughter 24 is marryign a man 7 years older than her too, and I feel with her it is a beter match than the men she has dated because he is older and more confident he can deal with her much better!LOL

Age is just a number. All Ican say is I hope the Bates allow their kids to choose their spouses for the right reasons not just because of a religion thing. Although I fel sorry for the guy becuase her sisters have made much of the fact she can't cook! I hope he knows how!! :whistle:

[thetabmeister]

That's actually a really cute picture IMO. Erin's hair even looks normal.

Here's to hoping they decide they'd rather make more songs together than babies :pray:

Why is he already wearing a wedding ring? I'm confused.

[Jana814]

Could it be a purity ring? I have heard of men wearing them. I am NOT a Jonas brother fan, but I read in an article once That they wear them.

[freejoytoo]

Just me, but I've never liked the idea of going out with someone a lot older.

[thetabmeister]

Just me, but I've never liked the idea of going out with someone a lot older.

Just me, but *I've* always found the idea of an older man (7-10 years max) attractive, especially as I got older. I don't know, just seemed like most of the young men my age were extremely immature and un-worldly; not experienced enough for me. I wanted a "bad boy" lol. Anyway, I ended up marrying someone 9 months older than I, but if I had to do it over... :D I guess it's like my dad says, different strokes for different folks.

[keen23]

Could it be a purity ring? I have heard of men wearing them. I am NOT a Jonas brother fan, but I read in an article once That they wear them.

It's on the "wrong" finger to be a wedding ring... not that it matters much at all.

They're a cute couple, if they are a couple. I usually hate Erin's hair, but she looks good in this picture.

[3 is enough]

They do look like they genuinely like each other- far from the posed pictures of Zach and Sarah where he always looked like a deer in the headlights and she looked like she just wanted to bolt.

I predict a whirlwind courtship/marriage for one of the Duggar girls- NO WAY is Jim Bob going to let Gil one-up him. It's bad enough they are tied in the baby race. Sadly, though, I doubt any of the J'slaves will look so happy and comfortable in photos with their Daddy-picked suitor.

[formergothardite]

Sorry, I don't find any of this cute. It's a fundie couple who were pushed together by their parents and probably barely know each other.

ITA. They might break away and become normal, that has happened before, but with him being that involved with Gothard I don't think it will. I already feel sorry for any babies born to these two.

[Ramona]

Just me, but I've never liked the idea of going out with someone a lot older.

I'd have never thought of this guy as " a lot older" than her.. to me, that phrase would imply a much larger gap.. like if she was marrying a man in his fifties, that would seem "a lot older" to me.

[LurkerOverThePond]

I'm surprised nobody has mentioned _the_ most important reason for Erin choosing Chad: thank God his hair isn't green!

[OkToBeTakei]

Was looking at their blog. Seems Chad was in Peru with some Duggerish girls August 2011.

Maybe Jana's hair was not big enough.

[Witsec7]

Was looking at their blog. Seems Chad was in Peru with some Duggerish girls August 2011.

Maybe Jana's hair was not big enough.

Yup with Big Bill Gothard and the Divine Miss David Waller.

[Seven Severn]

I'll also weigh-in on the age difference: My maternal grandmother had just turned 20 when she got married and my grandfather was 29. She died the day after their 60th wedding anniversary. A ten or so year age gap doesn't seem that much to me.

[Guest]

They do look like they genuinely like each other- far from the posed pictures of Zach and Sarah where he always looked like a deer in the headlights and she looked like she just wanted to bolt.

I predict a whirlwind courtship/marriage for one of the Duggar girls- NO WAY is Jim Bob going to let Gil one-up him. It's bad enough they are tied in the baby race. Sadly, though, I doubt any of the J'slaves will look so happy and comfortable in photos with their Daddy-picked suitor.

I'm not a big fan of the Bates by any means, but I think that this is one thing that they do better than the Duggars. It seems from Chad's blog post that his relationship with Erin developed naturally. The Bates could have bought themselves a second season by announcing this on the show, but chose not to for their daughter's privacy. I would not hold it against Jim Bob to force a daughter together with the first good-looking fundie they see in order to one-up the Bates and boost ratings.

[redhotmess]

I think Chad was very sweet and romantic in the title of his blog and in his writing about Erin. I want to be snarky I just feel he is being really genuine and I am happy for them.

Though I don't agree with how this courtship thing works, I can't help but hope for the best for them.

[Sprocket]

chadsperspective.blogspot.com/2011/12/christmas-conferenceand-pictures.html

I wonder if this is where he met Erin?

David Waller was there too. These people just can't get away from each other. I wonder if Erin will have to hang out with Priscilla now.

[freejoytoo]

I guess age matters less once you reach your twenties, but I've never wanted to go out with someone more than five years older than me. The age difference with these two wouldn't bother me as much if it basically wasn't an arranged marriage for aging virgin children. I'm sorry, but that's the only way I see fundie courtships.

[Evilbad]

My dh is 8 years older than me. He still calls me his young chick lol