Bates Courtship

[Guest]

They look, *gasp* comfortable with each other. Looking at their pictures, you wouldn't really even know they are fundie. I agree, if the Bates have announced it (and if it's been going on for as long as we've suspected) they're totally engaged.

These two will make some beautiful children. Too bad they'll grow up fundie.

[Coconut Flan]

Erin looks really pretty with her hair softer and more natural. Didn't Kelly say that they were thinking of ditching courtship for dating with a purpose? Maybe they realized the young couples do actually need to get to know one another in a more informal arrangement. They do seem happy and like they know each other. Maybe this will spur the Duggars to begin launching their twenty-somethings.

[Stickers]

They look pretty cute and natural together. I wonder how much money his family has :think:

I'd actually be interested in seeing Erin's wedding, she seems high maintenance when it comes to her style, I don't think she'd settle for the simple t-shirt top wedding dress all the fundie girls wear.

[Visionoyahweh]

Wasn't eh on the show, while it was still on? They should've announced then. instant season two. Too bad Kelly miscarried or we'd be watching this play out on TV.

[punkiepie]

Chad Paine posted a post regarding the courtship. I'm about to read it

chadsperspective.blogspot.com

I'm pretty much in shock after reading his post. He genuinely seems to love her and they look so at ease with each other. So many of these courtships are forced displays of awkwardness ie., Zach and the cheesecake (literal) and the crying. Zach and the Reith girl never looked truly comfortable with each other, let alone over the moon. I think in the last round of pictures the Bates posted, a bunch of FJers called it out and predicted it was going to end by her body language towards him.

I am a sappy lover of love, so I always want to believe in love professions. Maybe I'm just so not used to that kind of language being thrown around by the fundie crowd. Which kinda makes it even more powerful that he would write it out for all the world to see... I'm betting they are engaged. IMO.

Edited for riffles

[terranova]

Am I the only one to notice she is 21ish and he is 30ish.

I find that a bit squicky.

Definately squicky.

I have a friend who is 10 years younger than her husband but they dated for several years, then lived together for another few before committing to marriage and a kid. Somehow that doesn't seem so dodgy.

[Miggy]

They look so much more comfortable together than Zach and Sarah looked. It's not the leaning into each other - it's something about their expressions. Zach always looked nervous. Erin & Chad seem quite relaxed.

My only concern for these two is that Erin has never seemed particularly maternal. She seems to be ok once the kids are 5-6 and older but has never seemed into the babies and toddlers. Fundy marriages usually mean instant kids so I hope Erin either works out that birth control isn't all bad, isn't as fertile as her mother or has a major attitude change when they are her own children rather than her sibling.

[browngrl]

Maybe it is the optimism of a new year or perhaps the fever I currently have - but these two seem to actually like each other. Maybe this courtship might work out.

[BlondeAgent007]

Just looked at some of their pictures and noticed it looks like they're touching in some of the pictures. So, it's okay for Erin to lean into him but God forbid they hold hands before marriage? Oh the horror of pre-marital hand and hug sex.

The Bates seem to follow most of the rules the Duggars do. Josh and Anna were allowed hand holding and side hugging. Erin and Beau seem to be sitting closer together, but I think the rules are similar. I'm happy the Bates may be showing signs of loosening the rules of courting.

[Witsec7]

Am I the only one to notice she is 21ish and he is 30ish.

I find that a bit squicky.

I find thirty year old male virgins a bit squicky. The age difference doesn't bother me.

[Guest]

Definately squicky.

I have a friend who is 10 years younger than her husband but they dated for several years, then lived together for another few before committing to marriage and a kid. Somehow that doesn't seem so dodgy.

I'm finding it squicky too... I'm actually surprised that Chad lasted until 30 without getting married... He's very good looking, especially for the fundie crowd.

But I mean, at the end of the day, they are both being treated like children at home. They never had access to any sort of popular culture, so there isn't that aspect of the age barrier. I don't know.

I think I would be more squicked out if they didn't seem so obviously comfortable together. If they actually found somebody that they love in the fundie world instead of somebody that their parents awkwardly pushed them to marry (ala Davilla) then good for them.

[Minerva]

I think they're announcing it so prematurely because they're eager to make up for the Zach fiasco.

Am I the only one to notice she is 21ish and he is 30ish.

I find that a bit squicky.

Yes, that is squicky. I've seen larger age gaps work out and not be squicky, but

1) they were 30-something and 40-something, no one was seeing someone 9 years their senior at 21.

2) there's no way the Bates girl is doing this of as much of her own free will as an ordinary 21-year-old woman deciding to see a 30-year-old man

[Markie]

Oh please don't let her sister sew the bridesmaids clown dresses, although that would certainly be snarkworthy. I hope the wedding is livestreamed; I do like participating in a fundy wedding.

Was reading the Paine Family bios and they have 10 kids; the last 6 are reversal babies. Seems like a pattern in these families.

[Miggy]

The age thing: I have never met a home schooled person whose mental age matched their physical age, even as adults. Physically they may be 21 & 30 but who knows how old they are mentally and emotionally. The fact Erin has been attending a college, even a loopy one, probably puts her ahead of many fundy girls.

(I speak as someone who married into a family with a history of home schooling, ranging from some now in their 70s who were home schooled by their mother while their father worked as a missionary, down to nieces and nephews just starting out, and everything in between. Some seem old, most are immature, all are weird.)

Edit for spelling.

[BlondeAgent007]

My friend is engaged to a man who is 32. She is 22. I really don't find it all that weird that they are ten years apart. As long as they are both in a similar stage in their lives, and have similar goals, I don't see a problem with that. If it looked in any way forced, my opinion would probably be a lot different.

[Visionoyahweh]

Wild Speculation: she's PG and they're rushing to cover it up with a whirlwind courtship. They must know its a lock or they'd never announce after the Zach tragedy.

[emesbe]

I wonder if Chad is related to the Paines of Money Saving Mom.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think they look cute together. More important, they seem to genuinely like each other. This doesn't come off as one of those we-met-each-other-twice-at-the-homeschooling-conference courtships. I hope it works out for them.

[pomology]

Am I the only one to notice she is 21ish and he is 30ish.

I find that a bit squicky.

My paternal grandparents are/were (I have no idea how to talk about people when one is dead and one isn't) 10 years apart and they got married when my grandmother was in her early 20s.

So, while my gut reaction is that it's squicky, when I think about it more, I don't think it's that big a deal.

[Freedom17]

how old are Erin and chad

[darkplumaged]

I've looked at the Paine family blog before, but I can't remember why. Are they otherwise connected to fundie royalty?

I don't think their age difference is troubling. I wouldn't have dated a 30-year-old at 21, but I was very young for my age--and I live in the real world, where people accumulate life experience over time, and there is often a big gap between people in their early 20s and those 10 years older. Fundie guys like Chad don't have the same experiences as people in the mainstream, so he and Erin may be on a similar level.

I like Erin's hair, too, because it makes me feel nostalgic. She would have been considered the most beautiful girl EVAH at my high school, circa 1992.

[Megan]

I've looked at the Paine family blog before, but I can't remember why. Are they otherwise connected to fundie royalty?

I don't think their age difference is troubling. I wouldn't have dated a 30-year-old at 21, but I was very young for my age--and I live in the real world, where people accumulate life experience over time, and there is often a big gap between people in their early 20s and those 10 years older. Fundie guys like Chad don't have the same experiences as people in the mainstream, so he and Erin may be on a similar level.

I like Erin's hair, too, because it makes me feel nostalgic. She would have been considered the most beautiful girl EVAH at my high school, circa 1992.

The Paines were discussed in some other Bates threads, with some speculation about a courtship. Additionally, this thread focused on them:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12596

I agree with everyone saying that Erin and Chad actually seem to have some sort of connection/affection. I wouldn't be surprised if they are already engaged but simply not announcing it (maybe the Bates are going to attempt to get a TLC special? I'm sure TLC recognizes there is more $$$ in a wedding special than an average episode)

[SpeakNow]

I must say, they do make a cute couple

[darkplumaged]

The Paines were discussed in some other Bates threads, with some speculation about a courtship. Additionally, this thread focused on them:

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=12596

That must be it! Chad's dad is the super-genius who quit practicing medicine to stuff envelopes for Gothard. I can't think of a more worthwhile way to spend time, or a better way to support a large family. :roll:

[Guest]

I don't think their age difference is troubling. I wouldn't have dated a 30-year-old at 21, but I was very young for my age--and I live in the real world, where people accumulate life experience over time, and there is often a big gap between people in their early 20s and those 10 years older. Fundie guys like Chad don't have the same experiences as people in the mainstream, so he and Erin may be on a similar level.

Exactly. Their chronological ages don't matter. They're "children" in their families, and they're old enough to get married. I'm sure that both of them stopped maturing around 18, if even that late.