pregnant Catholics with health problems

[Boltingmadonna]

Minerva said:

For the record, about.com says you can get pregnant after a hysterectomy. Some hysterectomies leave the ovaries and part of the uterus in place, and the embryo implants on that. Some hysterectomies just leave the ovaries in place and "tie" off the top of the vagina. If sperm gets through that tie and wanders up the abdominal cavity to an egg, and the embryo implants on one of the abdominal organs (or on the fallopian tubes if they were left in place), then you have an ectopic pregnancy.

Thanks, Minerva--color me corrected. However, I still think JenXer was referring to "conception" as meaning fertilization, not an ectopic pregnancy. She said, "I might still be able to get pregnant. There just would be no place for the baby to implant." I could be wrong about that, too, of course. But even if I'm mistaken about her intent, I hold to my position that calling a fertilized egg a "pregnancy" would be an error.

[luv2run]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

When I was contracting, after the contraction,

I had a sharp pain on the left side. The concern

then became get me into surgery asap because

they were concerned of a blood vessel bursting around

the scar, or that the scar was already separating

and it was already bleeding. The doctors told my husband and I this and told us they needed our

permission for a tubal before going in if something

was wrong. We told her only if it was bad.

They opened me up, and not only was the uterus

thinned out so much that the term "Saran wrap" was used, but it was not just a "window" this time. It was

the entire bottom half surrounding the scar. There

was also a large blood vessel directly on the

thin part of the uterus that was ready to burst. In the

doctors words, we dodged a bullet. I'm the middle of

all this (it got a bit somber for a few minutes), we gave

permission for the tubal. So, its done.

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

[mockingbird]

Love2run, I hope you can find peace with your decision. I'm glad you and the baby are doing well now.

[pugglemama]

Luv2Run, I'm glad to hear you and baby are well. I hope that talking with the priest will help how you're feeling.

Treemom and AuntCloud, thank you for your kind words.

[Minerva]

luv2run, I'm glad you and the baby are alright!

Minerva said:

Thanks, Minerva--color me corrected. However, I still think JenXer was referring to "conception" as meaning fertilization, not an ectopic pregnancy. She said, "I might still be able to get pregnant. There just would be no place for the baby to implant." I could be wrong about that, too, of course. But even if I'm mistaken about her intent, I hold to my position that calling a fertilized egg a "pregnancy" would be an error.

You're right, though, it's not a pregnancy unless it's implanted.

[burntnorton]

Love2run, I'm so sorry for your ordeal, but I'm glad you and your baby are alright.

[JenXer]

Luv2run, congratulations on the arrival of your precious little daughter!!! What a frightening ordeal to go through first. I have a friend with a "window" thin layer of her uterus. That is scary stuff.

I hope that your recovery is as comfortable as it can be. Enjoy that sweet baby! Thanks for letting us know that she's here... I've been thinking about you a great deal and wishing you all the best!

[curlykate]

Luv2run, congratulations on your daughter!

And I'm so glad you dodged that bullet!

I'm hoping you have the easiest recovery possible, both physically and spiritually.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

When I was contracting, after the contraction,

I had a sharp pain on the left side. The concern

then became get me into surgery asap because

they were concerned of a blood vessel bursting around

the scar, or that the scar was already separating

and it was already bleeding. The doctors told my husband and I this and told us they needed our

permission for a tubal before going in if something

was wrong. We told her only if it was bad.

They opened me up, and not only was the uterus

thinned out so much that the term "Saran wrap" was used, but it was not just a "window" this time. It was

the entire bottom half surrounding the scar. There

was also a large blood vessel directly on the

thin part of the uterus that was ready to burst. In the

doctors words, we dodged a bullet. I'm the middle of

all this (it got a bit somber for a few minutes), we gave

permission for the tubal. So, its done.

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

So sorry to hear that your uterus was so badly damaged, and its a shame that you ended up having a tubal, but it was for the best. You have a healthy baby, and if you didnt have a tubal, the next pregnancy might not have ended with a healthy baby, or a healthy you. This is the best thing you could do, for both you and your daughter. You did the right thing.

Hope you have a good recovery.

[Savoring Samsara]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

When I was contracting, after the contraction,

I had a sharp pain on the left side. The concern

then became get me into surgery asap because

they were concerned of a blood vessel bursting around

the scar, or that the scar was already separating

and it was already bleeding. The doctors told my husband and I this and told us they needed our

permission for a tubal before going in if something

was wrong. We told her only if it was bad.

They opened me up, and not only was the uterus

thinned out so much that the term "Saran wrap" was used, but it was not just a "window" this time. It was

the entire bottom half surrounding the scar. There

was also a large blood vessel directly on the

thin part of the uterus that was ready to burst. In the

doctors words, we dodged a bullet. I'm the middle of

all this (it got a bit somber for a few minutes), we gave

permission for the tubal. So, its done.

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

Congratulations, luv2run! You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers. For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing too.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm glad that you and the baby are ok. That sounds downright traumatic.

With any luck, a priest who does hospital chaplaincy will be a decent human being, recognize that the decision has already taken place and that you were in a very scary, extreme situation which didn't allow for deep spiritual consultation, and simply assure you that you are forgiven. [i don't consider it a sin, but recognize that you want to be ok with your religion.]

[luv2run]

Thanks so much everyone :) she is quite beautiful

and I'm pretty smitten.

It will all work out personally and emotionally in

regards to the tubal.

I'm trying to remembers spiritual director said to

have peace regardless of our decision. I'm

holding onto that, and that we could not risk

me and another baby dying if there was a next

time. Then leaving my husband with so kids. When push came to shove it just couldn't not something.

If that makes sense.

[Savoring Samsara]

Jen Fulwiler's new son Joseph is now having some difficulties of his own:

Unfortunately, he has some breathing problems (unrelated to my medical issues) that mean that he requires NICU care, and is now being transferred to a NICU at a different hospital with better facilities. Even more unfortunately, I have to stay here at the delivery hospital until we get my blood thinners under control. I haven’t even seen him that much since he’s been born.

edited to include link: conversiondiary.com/2013/04/prayers-for-baby.html

[singsingsing]

Both my sister and I were emergency C-sections. After my sister was born, the doctors told my mother that, because of the problems she had had with labour, as well as the fact that her uterus was very thin, she would be taking her life into her hands if she had another child. So my dad had a vasectomy. I saw a Catholic blogger once say that men who had vasectomies weren't real men. I was so angry. My father isn't a 'real' man because he didn't want to put my mother's life at risk?! Excuse me? There comes a point when the life which already exists needs to be more highly valued than 'remaining open to life'.

My parents were 28 and 30 when this happened. I'd love to know what these bloggers would have suggested to them. Abstain completely for the next 15-20 years? Use NFP and risk dying? No thanks. Catholic doctrine like this may seem to make sense in theory, but I believe that situations like these fully show how it falls apart in the face of the multitude of different circumstances real people face.

I hope Jen and her baby both make full recoveries. But I also hope that Jen, at the very least, takes a serious and sober look at what happened here. If she doesn't decide to ditch NFP, I hope she at least decides to be much more vigilant about her health, which would include not getting pregnant again. I really hope she realizes now that being bad at NFP and forgetting to give herself her shots is not funny or cute.

[treemom]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

When I was contracting, after the contraction,

I had a sharp pain on the left side. The concern

then became get me into surgery asap because

they were concerned of a blood vessel bursting around

the scar, or that the scar was already separating

and it was already bleeding. The doctors told my husband and I this and told us they needed our

permission for a tubal before going in if something

was wrong. We told her only if it was bad.

They opened me up, and not only was the uterus

thinned out so much that the term "Saran wrap" was used, but it was not just a "window" this time. It was

the entire bottom half surrounding the scar. There

was also a large blood vessel directly on the

thin part of the uterus that was ready to burst. In the

doctors words, we dodged a bullet. I'm the middle of

all this (it got a bit somber for a few minutes), we gave

permission for the tubal. So, its done.

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

I believe God cares more about people living than about rules men dictated based on scripture written before a lot of medical knowledge was even known. You made the right choice and I don't think it is the cheap way out.

[AuntCloud]

luv2run - whatever treemom and the other wise ladies said.

It just boggles my mind that preserving your life and health should be considered a sin to confess. Getting a definite "no" to the question "will I be able to have another child?" is never easy (I'm benched for life due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome).

Congratulations on your sweet new baby and on dodging that massive bullet. Wishing you peace and a speedy recovery.

[dramallama]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

When I was contracting, after the contraction,

I had a sharp pain on the left side. The concern

then became get me into surgery asap because

they were concerned of a blood vessel bursting around

the scar, or that the scar was already separating

and it was already bleeding. The doctors told my husband and I this and told us they needed our

permission for a tubal before going in if something

was wrong. We told her only if it was bad.

They opened me up, and not only was the uterus

thinned out so much that the term "Saran wrap" was used, but it was not just a "window" this time. It was

the entire bottom half surrounding the scar. There

was also a large blood vessel directly on the

thin part of the uterus that was ready to burst. In the

doctors words, we dodged a bullet. I'm the middle of

all this (it got a bit somber for a few minutes), we gave

permission for the tubal. So, its done.

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

Your life and the lives of your husband and children that are here matter, and they matter more than what a religious doctrine says about contraception. I believe a loving God knows that, too. You didn't take the cheap way out - there is no cheap way out in this situation, you were faced a bad situation with no perfect options and chose the one that was least bad. Congratulations on your new baby and I hope you recover quickly and well, physically and emotionally/spiritually.

[Cannelle]

Luv2run, congrats on your new baby. Give her a snuggle from all of us, enjoy her, and rest up, you've been through so much. Your post made me gasp as I was reading it. So very glad that you're still alive and healthy- I haven't posted on this thread, but I've been wondering how you're doing. I very much agree with everyone else that you made the right decision and I do hope that you can find peace with it.

[J'ean Skirt]

I actually went into labor today and delivered her.

She's beautiful and perfect.

** snip **

I'm not happy with it, but we just could not do anything at all. It was pretty obvious my uterus had been through

more than it could handle.

One of the nurses here is going to get a priest to

come see me while I'm in the hosptial. I'll confess it,

which I feel bad about too because I feel like its

a cheap way out. But in reality, my husband and I did

all we could given the circumstances

Congrats on a perfect, beautiful daughter.

I'm sorry you are so conflicted about the decision. The Catholic church's teachings on things like this is one of the reasons I don't consider myself Catholic anymore. I believe that the strict rules are all so they don't have to address or make the hard decisions. We, women and the men who love us, are the ones that actually have to decide. While the church just stands back and dictates.

Hugs to you and your family.

[Dog-n-Suds]

I hope Jen and her baby both make full recoveries. But I also hope that Jen, at the very least, takes a serious and sober look at what happened here. If she doesn't decide to ditch NFP, I hope she at least decides to be much more vigilant about her health, which would include not getting pregnant again. I really hope she realizes now that being bad at NFP and forgetting to give herself her shots is not funny or cute.