Michelle Duggar on Guiding Kids into Adulthood

[Boogalou]

Hold on to your seats, Michelle has written more insightful and original parenting tips, this time on how to guide your kids into adulthood.

 

Step one: never let them out of your sight.

Step two: Never let them get exposed to ideas that are not approved by Michelle and Jom Bob Gothard er, God. Any ideas they are exposed to should be factually incorrect, this can include anything from creationism is true to King James translated the Bible all by himslef to everyone in the Middle East gets along all the time to people who get shingles cannot get chicken pox.

Step three: give your son a car lot and house. Then, give him a man to run the business and a woman to run the house so he can focus on more important things like taking pictures of garbage cans.

Step four: keep everyone else at home under the umbrella of protection until forever.

 

Well, that would be the more accurate version. Michelle's spin is that you need to talk to your kids, encourage them to talk to you, and to never let them have a thought that you are not aware of. Pretty much like every other post on parenting. I wonder if they just keep the same posts and change a few key words to make it work for new topics.

[Witsec7]

I think that it's also important that you deny your children any of the 'normal' life experiences you may have had, like being a cheerleader or roller skating or kissing and petting before marriage. Deny Deny Deny.

[argypargy]

Ummm...how many adult children does she have living in her house? I wouldn't call that successfully guiding them into adulthood. More like successfully sheltering from the realities they might find in true adulthood.

[Childless]

Does she really encourage parents to know every thought their children have? Don't children deserve a little privacy? I would never intrude on my son's thoughts. I would hope that he would come talk to me if he were in trouble or had questions about something, but I would not insist he tell me every little detail about his life or every thought that enters his head. This woman is bat shit crazy!

[Maggie Mae]

Have the Duggars ever talked about "the end of the world"? I mean, sheltering kids from getting married makes a tiny tiny tiny bit of sense if you absolutely 100% believe that the events of "Left Behind" will play out. I know that a few years ago someone asked the younger WBC members about marriage, and they told the reporter that they didn't see the point, because we are living in the last days.

I am not saying that it's 'right' to do that. Just that wacked-out religious beliefs involving the end of the world are occasionally involved when it comes to people not living for today and instead living in-stasis waiting for the events to play out. It happens to non-religious too - being so busy waiting for the next thing to happen that you forget to do something with your life.

[Artemis]

How does witing for the end of the world chime with ideas such as VF's 200 year dominion plan or whatever it is - you know, the one they're all breeding like rabbits for?

Seems illogical to be simultaneously waiting for the approaching end times AND trying to outbreed the rest of humanity so you can take dominion.

Oh wait, this is fundies we are talking about. Sorry, of course there's no logic in it.

[Olive Plant]

How does witing for the end of the world chime with ideas such as VF's 200 year dominion plan or whatever it is - you know, the one they're all breeding like rabbits for?

Seems illogical to be simultaneously waiting for the approaching end times AND trying to outbreed the rest of humanity so you can take dominion.

Oh wait, this is fundies we are talking about. Sorry, of course there's no logic in it.

VF's 200 year plan assumes... I forget the technical term, but whatever word stands for "the rapture is a lie and Jesus' paradise on earth is ours for the taking." VF is against the Left Behind series for that reason. It's why they're obessed with Taking Dominion over Everything. I'm not sure what the Duggars believe about the rapture. Either way, the point is to Take Everything Captive for Christ, including your offspring, because you will Answer For Your Actions When you either die or are lifted up on the last day, whichever one you think is more imminent. Paradise on earth will be ushered in only when there are 70 billion fundies in long skirts raking through the ashes of civilization in their SUVs. There will be plenty of guns and the coconut oil will flow like wine, which will actually be strictly regulated so nobody has more than half a glass per day.

[snarkyjan]

Ummm...how many adult children does she have living in her house? I wouldn't call that successfully guiding them into adulthood. More like successfully sheltering from the realities they might find in true adulthood.

Once Joseph turns 18 this year, there will be 7 legal adults besides the parents, 6 of whom will still be living at home. What a sucky life!

[Megan]

VF's 200 year plan assumes... I forget the technical term, but whatever word stands for "the rapture is a lie and Jesus' paradise on earth is ours for the taking." VF is against the Left Behind series for that reason. It's why they're obessed with Taking Dominion over Everything. I'm not sure what the Duggars believe about the rapture. Either way, the point is to Take Everything Captive for Christ, including your offspring, because you will Answer For Your Actions When you either die or are lifted up on the last day, whichever one you think is more imminent. Paradise on earth will be ushered in only when there are 70 billion fundies in long skirts raking through the ashes of civilization in their SUVs. There will be plenty of guns and the coconut oil will flow like wine, which will actually be strictly regulated so nobody has more than half a glass per day.

Yeah, from what I understand there are two different modes of thought among fundie christians: premillennialism and postmillennialism. premillennialists believe judgement (rapture) will happen and then all the saved will live in a happy Jesus-led Christian paradise. Anyone not converted will be doomed, etc. Postmillennialists believe the world has to become a wonderful, happy, Jesus-centered paradise before Jesus will come. The 200 year plan nonsense goes more with postmillennialism - by having lots of children, Christians will take over the world, convert whoever is left, and then Jesus will come!!!

[Artemis]

If I were Jesus, I'd get the hell out of Dodge, rather than have anything to do with Dominionists.

[Boogalou]

Ummm...how many adult children does she have living in her house? I wouldn't call that successfully guiding them into adulthood. More like successfully sheltering from the realities they might find in true adulthood.

Maybe they consider it a success that their kids have simply survived. Or maybe they don't see people as adults until they are married.

[Deleted05]

Maybe they consider it a success that their kids have simply survived. Or maybe they don't see people as adults until they are married.

I think that's it.

[slickcat79]

Have the Duggars ever talked about "the end of the world"? I mean, sheltering kids from getting married makes a tiny tiny tiny bit of sense if you absolutely 100% believe that the events of "Left Behind" will play out. I know that a few years ago someone asked the younger WBC members about marriage, and they told the reporter that they didn't see the point, because we are living in the last days.

I am not saying that it's 'right' to do that. Just that wacked-out religious beliefs involving the end of the world are occasionally involved when it comes to people not living for today and instead living in-stasis waiting for the events to play out. It happens to non-religious too - being so busy waiting for the next thing to happen that you forget to do something with your life.

One of the major reasons Michelle fell into the fundie mindset (and JB's manly arms :? ) was an irrational fear of the End Times. So I wouldn't be surprised if that plays out in her ideas about child rearing.

[RosyDaisy]

Michelle Duggar is the last person who should be giving advice on now to guide kids into adulthood given her track record.

[ElphabaGalinda]

Just looking at Michelle's adult children shows that she knows absolutely nothing about guiding kids to adulthood. None of them have any real jobs, education, or even any adult life. What she's describing is more of a how to keep your children dependent and immature forever.

She probably thinks children become adults magically the instant they marry., instead of the gradual process that must come from experience away from your parents..but then if they never marry, how will they ever become adults? Even Josh, the only one who's left home, isn't living an adult life and is still dependent on his parents in certain ways.

[Miggy]

I know I am just repeating what everyone else has already said but ...

I have always listened to advice from people who are ahead of me in terms of raising kids. My children are in their teens now and I am interested in advice from people who have parented children through university and into the workforce. Michelle Duggar, IMO, is a wonderful example of what not to do. If I keep my kids close, make them tell me everything, police who they mix with and how they dress, then I will end up with all my children still living with me and completely dependant on me when they are in their early 20s. This is not a future I want for them so I will be very careful not to do what Michelle does.

Edited to add: By my count, only two Duggar offspring are adults. Through child development training at uni and experiences as a parent of a child with Aspergers I have learnt not to worry about physical age but instead, focus on social, emotional and academic development. Using this I would call John David and Jill young adults (maybe Jana too). All the others are still teenagers developmentally.

[lilwriter85]

Michelle pulls shit out of her ass when it comes to stuff. Remember the "leave and cleave" speech when Joshie boy got married. Leave and cleave never happened with Joshie. He still has to answer to Boob for a lot of things. Boob still controls JD to an extent. I'm slightly surprised that Boob is now ok with JD taking flight lessons. Boob's soon to be 23 year old daughter Jana has no work experience except for the Gothard XQ stint and her occasionally going to home births with Jill. There are many 23 year old woman who have years of work experience. Let's not forget SmugJill's midwife supervisor was probably cherry picked by the Duggars. I remember back in 2006, I watched Hogan Knows Best(guilty pleasure), there was one episode in which Hulk arranged for his kids to work at a restaurant to teach them about work ethic and money. I remember the kids struggled at first, but they did ok in the end. Maybe the producers of Hogan Knows Best had that idea, but if the J'Slaves went and worked in a restaurant for a week, I can see tons of problems. The Duggar time attitude would mess them up. I can't see them doing well under pressure or during dinner rush time. I can also see them having problems with co-workers.

There are people in their early 20s living at home these days. But a lot of them are different from the Duggars and other fundies. Some of them are college/vo-tech students or working people who may be living at home for different reasons like saving for their homes, due paycuts, high rent areas, etc. The over 18 J'Slaves minus SmugJill aren't working and they are doing that collegeminus crap.

[emmyfair]

I don't think Michelle would be able to guide a thread through a needle at this point, never mind a child to adulthood.

[JesusFightClub]

I wouldn't describe myself as overburdened with work ethic (partly because capitalism makes bastards of people) and I took my first job when I was 16. I went in two hours before school to shelf stack and then after school two hours to work on the checkout, then two hours homework. I worked solidly since then except when they made redundancies and the most junior staff got it. I worked as a waitress all through my university holidays, and during uni I did a variety of different jobs including babysitting, translation and proofreading. Out of uni I taught for a year and a half then I got a job as a security guard. I used to work split shift sometimes, finish at 4am, go home, sleep three hours, back in for the 9am start.

I hardly think my experience is unusual. It is much weirder to be a Duggar, and not work at all. Aren't they hopelessly bored? They seem like bright girls.

[DarkAnts]

I wouldn't describe myself as overburdened with work ethic (partly because capitalism makes bastards of people) and I took my first job when I was 16. I went in two hours before school to shelf stack and then after school two hours to work on the checkout, then two hours homework. I worked solidly since then except when they made redundancies and the most junior staff got it. I worked as a waitress all through my university holidays, and during uni I did a variety of different jobs including babysitting, translation and proofreading. Out of uni I taught for a year and a half then I got a job as a security guard. I used to work split shift sometimes, finish at 4am, go home, sleep three hours, back in for the 9am start.

I hardly think my experience is unusual. It is much weirder to be a Duggar, and not work at all. Aren't they hopelessly bored? They seem like bright girls.

Its more common in girls up in the upper class. I personally think everyone should work customer service for a year. It will teach them humility. It will also show them how people treat those in service jobs. Hopefully it will keep the cycle of treating people like shit in this job field from continuing,

[lilah]

I find it so strange and sad that j'chelle believes open communication and are having a strong emotional bond with her kids are so important and we never see her having any kind of meaningful conversations or even much affection with her kids. The only kid I've seen her really parent is Josie and it was because she was stuck at home with her.

[lilwriter85]

I find it so strange and sad that j'chelle believes open communication and are having a strong emotional bond with her kids are so important and we never see her having any kind of meaningful conversations or even much affection with her kids. The only kid I've seen her really parent is Josie and it was because she was stuck at home with her.

I also find that strange. Another to add is that Mullet admitted on the show that the kids have to schedule for one on one time with her. I think that is stupid because she is home a lot.

[silverspoons]

Do Jim Bob and Michelle believe in social security system or not? I'm not trying to get into a political debate. I'm sure JB and Michelle will be fine with the TLC and other money they have invested for retirment but what about the kids? I got my work permit at 14. I grew up in an upper middle class home a an only child and there was no reason I had to work but my father marched me down to get a job the day after turned 14. My father also made me start my retiremnt account at 18. I hated back then putting 2k in a year when my friends had all this extra spending money but now I am SO thankful. I worked through high school, college, only stopping when I had to go on bedrest with baby #1 in my late 20's. What I didn't realize until I was dx with a serious vascular/heart condition was if I did want to go on ssdi how much more I would get because I have worked since I was 14 and paid in the extra quarters. Then looking at the retirement side, comparing my mom(worked over 25 years) and mother in law(worked 15 years) and the amount they got at retirement, my mom got more then double what my mother in law got and the quality of life difference was amazing.

I assume that none of the Duggar kids including Josh have paid into SS? Does Jim Sammons cover retirement in his famous seminar? Do those wisdom booklets cover retirement or just bankrupcy? It is one thing for Michelle to tell her kids that the world is full of bad people and evil temptations. This is something the kids hopefully have started to learn is not true because of TLC trips. Having the kids miss out on 10+ years of paying into SS is wrong because it is something that can't be given back. Or even contributing to an IRA/some sort of retirement account in your 20's is worth 25+ years of contributing when you are older. I would assume the over 18 kids give those political contributions to losing campaigns instead of towards retirement.

I certainly don't agree on everything with my parents but I am thankful for the work ethic they gave me at 14 and the sound financial planning.

While I'm sure to some looking at Michelle's SAHV(stay at home virgins) is appealing , I can't believe so many people don't want thier kids to go to college. I have traveled the world and I hear the same things no matter where I go, moms and dads want their kids to be healthy, go to college, and have a family. Plenty of cultures want the unmarried children to stay at home but the older children are working or in university while at home.

[DarkAnts]

I think josh has referred to social security an entitlement benefit on his instagram.

[GolightlyGrrl]

I think josh has referred to social security an entitlement benefit on his instagram.

Yet, when it's his time to collect he'll gobble it up like it's Tater Tot Casserole.