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"Jesus is my boyfriend"


JaChelle Sugar

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That reminds me of this article: crosswalk.com/family/singles/dating-jesus-the-single-cure-for-loneliness-11567469.html (Hope I broke the link correctly.) Apparently if you date Jesus, he'll give you presents like rainbows!

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That reminds me of this article: crosswalk.com/family/singles/dating-jesus-the-single-cure-for-loneliness-11567469.html (Hope I broke the link correctly.) Apparently if you date Jesus, he'll give you presents like rainbows!

Wow. Just wow.

Wow.

That is some weird stuff right there. I disagree with all of it, but let me just pick on two passages:

"Every couple falling in love enjoys leisurely, frequent walks, hand in hand." No, every couple does not enjoy this. There is a break down here between the fundie/fundie-light/Christian fantasy and reality. My husband and I walked together when we walked the dogs. Full Stop. And yet somehow we managed to fall in love. Weird.

"while marriage has it’s advantages and is overall a good thing, it isn’t the end all to loneliness and love hunger.". Huh? The love hunger? I can agree with loneliness; I think many, if not most, adults need people outside of their significant other in order to not feel alone, but "love hunger?" I am pretty sure many (but not all) married people are, indeed, married to people who satiate the "love hunger." If Mr Womb did not satisfy my "love hunger" I am pretty sure a date with Jesus would not be the answer.

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Write letters. This can be done in a notebook or on your computer, but open up to God regularly with your thoughts, cares and concerns.

Dear God,

How do you feel about fundies treating people like shit in your name? I'd be horrified if I found out someone was hitting their toddler, abusing their wife, campaigning to take away people's rights, shaming women for having sex, telling gay people they're evil and/or blaming women for rape and saying "kiwimusume told me to!" or if someone said I allowed almost a class worth of 6-year-olds to be murdered because they didn't kiss my ass enough.

I would very much like to hear your thoughts on this, because if you and your son really do think this is OK then I award you no points and may you have mercy on your soul.

XXXOOO

kiwimusume.

PS: If we do go for a date, can we go to one of those build-a-burger restaurants in America? Those are fucking amazing.

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Yeah, my fundielite/evangelical relatives had a thing about this. well not so much them, but this one girl they were friends with in particular, she was always banging on about JC being her boyfriend. To the extent where I used to creep on her Facebook just to marvel over her statuses, one in particular went along the lines of

"Just listening to (insert some evangelical musician's name here) and wishing so much I could be leaning at the bottom of the cross, resting my head against the feet of the LORD, being there at that moment which was so amazing for all humanity!!!1111!!eleventy!!!111"

I mean, wtf do you say to that really?

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But eww, Jesus is like, 2,000 years older than them! /high pitched whiny voice

I'm now picturing Jesus as Edward Cullen. :shock:

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If anyone is interested in the dilemma of the love between males and God in the Bible, I quite highly recommend the book God's Phallus by Howard Eilberg Schwartz. I do some work on masculinities in Russian culture, and this was a really helpful part of my research. He tackles some interesting issues, like the erotic/sexual/romantic/jealous language toward Israel by God in the OT and the "bride of Christ" in the NT. It's a scholarly book, but, I think, accessible (though I've had my head up academia's ass so long I probably can't judge that too well. :lol:)

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I'm now picturing Jesus as Edward Cullen. :shock:

Maybe Boyfriend Jesus is more like the Doctor?

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suppose it is really the fundie version of idolising pop stars. Fundie teenagers are denied the usual outlet of plastering their bedroom walls with posters of Justin Bieber, or even having crushes on schoolmates, so I suppose all that's left is to have a crush on Jesus.

This.

It seems to be these girls are the romantic personality types who are so very lonely. They have no healthy outlet for their normal feelings, and we end up with ridiculousness such as boyfriend Jesus. Unhealthy, sick, and fascinating all at the same time.

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OK, in the Eastern Orthodox tradition, not only is Jesus NOT your boyfriend, he is also NOT your friend. Eastern Orthodox nuns have no "bride of Christ" imagery associated with their calling. The "Church" is called the bride of Christ, and I believe there is Hebrew Scripture imagery that refers to Israel as the bride of God the bridegroom. This romantic/buddy love imagery coming out of the evangelical fringe makes my skin crawl. It's all part of a larger movement that normalizes the incestuous daddy/daughter relations in quiverfull patriarchy.

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Yeah, my fundielite/evangelical relatives had a thing about this. well not so much them, but this one girl they were friends with in particular, she was always banging on about JC being her boyfriend. To the extent where I used to creep on her Facebook just to marvel over her statuses, one in particular went along the lines of

"Just listening to (insert some evangelical musician's name here) and wishing so much I could be leaning at the bottom of the cross, resting my head against the feet of the LORD, being there at that moment which was so amazing for all humanity!!!1111!!eleventy!!!111"

I mean, wtf do you say to that really?

You say, "I wish you were there, too." Depending on how nice you want to be, you may or may not finish that sentence with "that way your inane statues would not be cluttering my newsfeed."

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I went to a Catholic elementary school and college which both had sisters on the staff/faculty, and have been on tours of convents/etc. and while we learned how at least some orders considered themselves "Brides of Christ" (and some orders might have rings to symbolize this, etc.) it was more of a symbol of how they have devoted their entire lives to Jesus/God instead of say, getting married. Not that they really thought of Jesus as their husband. That idea just squicks me out... I can understand the idea of trusting God that everything will work out and maybe you just aren't meant to have a boyfriend *now*, if you believe that "everything happens for a reason", but not translating that into "God will be your boyfriend instead!" I feel like these girls would put down others who pretended they had an imaginary boyfriend but that is basically what they are doing.

ETA: I think some of the priest orders have rings too.

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You say, "I wish you were there, too." Depending on how nice you want to be, you may or may not finish that sentence with "that way your inane statues would not be cluttering my newsfeed."

And I'd be guessing this moron wouldn't, I dunno, be trying to help get her Lord and Saviour down from the lethal torture device? I mean, what kind of sadistic fucker wants to loll about at someone's feet while he dies a slow and agonising death?

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Stupid fundies. I'm shocked that they don't find "Jesus is my boyfriend" offensive. Oh, I forgot, fundies and logic don't mix.

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Stupid fundies. I'm shocked that they don't find "Jesus is my boyfriend" offensive. Oh, I forgot, fundies and logic don't mix.

I'm sure the more conservative, authoritarian fundies do (the one's who emphasize God's lord-and-mastery, sovreign of all, you know the drill, they would probably hate the idea of a personal relationship with their god). "Jesus is my boyfriend" might not even be a fundy thing, just an evangelical thing. I can't tell the difference tbh.

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I never thought of them as 'romantic' at the time; I think the fact that many of them need to be sung 40 times over inured me to the disturbing aspects. :lol:

My experience, as well. As a former evangelical, I think we (Mr. Austin and me) were so densensitized to the "praise and worship music" that this reality initially escaped us. Finally, though, we were like WTF?

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