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"Jesus is my boyfriend"


JaChelle Sugar

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Is this a fundy-lite thing or an evangelical, or mainstream? Either way I don't get it. Isn't Jesus supposed to be their god, not someone on their level? Not to mention its kinda creepy somehow.

And, if Jesus is a good Christian girl's boyfriend, what is he to a good Christian boy? A holy girlfriend? :think: Wait that'd violate the rigid gender binary and get one step closer to 'legitimizing' trans people. How am I doing with fundy-logic (yeah I know that's an oxymoron)? I guess Jesus must be a good Christian boy's boyfriend. ....Wait. :shock:

This 'Jesus is my boyfriend' thinking makes no sense.

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This is as creepy as the whole "the bible is a love story" mentality. I really don't get it. Jesus is your savior, not a romantic interest.

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I suppose it is really the fundie version of idolising pop stars. Fundie teenagers are denied the usual outlet of plastering their bedroom walls with posters of Justin Bieber, or even having crushes on schoolmates, so I suppose all that's left is to have a crush on Jesus.

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I remember in high school a lot of the religious kids both male & female would write "I <3 Jesus" on their hands to show that they weren't afraid to admit their love for Jesus. There were a few times I read it as "I heart hay-seuss" lol

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Yep. It is not uncommon to view Jesus as a boyfriend sort of thing. I think, mostly, that it is not sexual. More like a comfort thing for the lonely. I know a lot of single women see God as their husband and look to him to take care of them, watch out for them, etc. it never really worked for me.

On the other side of it, it looks goofy and creepy, but when you are taught to be dependent on others (God, parent, spouse) it makes a lot of sense to put God into that role.

Now that I am religious free, I can see how much the dependent mindset is damaging. Thank you for bringing this topic up. I know this is a snark board and not a support group, but reading others take on things helps me reconcile my damage.

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Having grown up Catholic, I'm kind of used to the metaphor (nuns are "brides of Christ" after all) but still find it off-putting.

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To me, it just seems goofy. I'm envisioning my middle school friends and I scrawling Jesus' name on our notebooks and hanging I Love JC posters up next to Tiffany and NKOTB. Would we start to pray to him and then stop ourselves really quick, since we couldn't call his house and hang up when he answered? Heh.

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Who said this? I seem to remember an earlier thread about a blogger who said this, but I can't remember who.

There was probably more than one, but Abigail stands out. Apparently Mommy Mary chose Abigail specially to be the bride of Jesus :?

FglQ6coUBw4

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Yep. It is not uncommon to view Jesus as a boyfriend sort of thing. I think, mostly, that it is not sexual. More like a comfort thing for the lonely. I know a lot of single women see God as their husband and look to him to take care of them, watch out for them, etc. it never really worked for me.

On the other side of it, it looks goofy and creepy, but when you are taught to be dependent on others (God, parent, spouse) it makes a lot of sense to put God into that role.

Now that I am religious free, I can see how much the dependent mindset is damaging. Thank you for bringing this topic up. I know this is a snark board and not a support group, but reading others take on things helps me reconcile my damage.

WLF, I find the snarking and realizing that "I'm not the only one!" to be very therapeutic, so I'm with ya!

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When Jesus is your boyfriend there's nothing to do but lie back and wait for Jesus to come. *cough*

...aaaaaaand now to clean the soda off of my monitor.

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Um, I thought that Jesus was supposed to be single or married to Mary Magdelene, according to some Biblical fanfiction writers. *cough Dan Brown cough* According to the Bible anyway, (correct me if I'm wrong) there doesn't seem to be evidence of him wanting to marry somebody.

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This sort of shit always makes me think of the True Blood episode where the girl performs Jesus Asked Me Out Tonight in some teeny tiny shorts at the Fellowship of the Sun retreat.

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This sort of shit always makes me think of the True Blood episode where the girl performs Jesus Asked Me Out Tonight in some teeny tiny shorts at the Fellowship of the Sun retreat.

Or Denise Richards singing and dancing with Jesus on the Cross in Drop Dead Gorgeous.

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Guest Anonymous

There was probably more than one, but Abigail stands out. Apparently Mommy Mary chose Abigail specially to be the bride of Jesus :?

Thanks (in an eeuw-kind of way). :P I've never heard of it before; when I was an evangelical the thing was that God was our father and we were adopted as co-heirs with Jesus. Which kind of made him a rival for the inheritance, not an incestuous boyfriend.

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Miss Raquel has written a lot of things about how God is her love and so she doesn't need a boyfriend/husband(though she is trying as hard as she can to get one. I don't think Jesus has taken her dancing in the rain).

A lot of christian praise songs are like love songs and it is just strange.

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Guest Anonymous
Miss Raquel has written a lot of things about how God is her love and so she doesn't need a boyfriend/husband(though she is trying as hard as she can to get one. I don't think Jesus has taken her dancing in the rain).

A lot of christian praise songs are like love songs and it is just strange.

I never thought of them as 'romantic' at the time; I think the fact that many of them need to be sung 40 times over inured me to the disturbing aspects. :lol:

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"I could sing of your love forever" - repeated five million times. I think even God is like "Please, stop singing that damn song."

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Guest Anonymous
"I could sing of your love forever" - repeated five million times. I think even God is like "Please, stop singing that damn song."

We used to edit the words and 'pass' the new ones along the back row of my youthgroup if they got too ridiculous:

"Oh give thanks to the Lord or this song endures, forever-errrr." x eleventyfour.

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Yep. It is not uncommon to view Jesus as a boyfriend sort of thing. I think, mostly, that it is not sexual. More like a comfort thing for the lonely. I know a lot of single women see God as their husband and look to him to take care of them, watch out for them, etc. it never really worked for me.

On the other side of it, it looks goofy and creepy, but when you are taught to be dependent on others (God, parent, spouse) it makes a lot of sense to put God into that role.

Now that I am religious free, I can see how much the dependent mindset is damaging. Thank you for bringing this topic up. I know this is a snark board and not a support group, but reading others take on things helps me reconcile my damage.

When I was a single, church going type of woman, this is how many people told me I should think of Jesus. At one point a friend of a friend "prophesied" that I would be lying in bed, consumed with the "love of God." Or maybe it was a vision? It wasn't a message in tongues, I remember that much, because I understood it and was totally repulsed by it. My friend could feel my tension and hurried her friends off. I kind of flipped out on the phone with her later -- dafuq? Me having the secks with Jesus?

Sooo, it never really worked for me, either.

This is my take: Women are happiest in relationships, says conventional wisdom. At the majority of churches I attended, the women (both single and married) way outnumbered the men. Women were praying for husbands (to end loneliness, end -- or reduce -- financial burdens, end sexual frustration [many thought masturbating was wrong based on the "spill his seed" Bible verse, but I was pretty vocally for it], etc.) Now, there are not enough "worthy" men to go around. So how do we supply the need? Jesus.

Jesus. Jesus. He's your man! If He don't love you, nobody can!

And, as an extra bonus manipulation tool, that yearning for an actual partner, the one that is not fulfilled, well it can now be the woman's fault! She isn't giving her all to Jesus. She is not depending fully on him. If only this, then He would give you that. Blah, blah, blah.

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We used to edit the words and 'pass' the new ones along the back row of my youthgroup if they got too ridiculous:

"Oh give thanks to the Lord or this song endures, forever-errrr." x eleventyfour.

"Jesus lover of my soul, let me to thy bosom fly." Now I'm not sure I could sing that without laughing, but it was very serious back then. Jesus was our soul lover and we needed to go rest in his bosom. :lol:

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'Dating Jesus' was huge at my SBC college. It was fun watching these girl's brain blow a fuse when I asked "so, what happens to Him when you find a real boyfriend? Do you dump Jesus or 2time him?" :?

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