Conflicts between the Maxwell cousins?

[YPestis]

As I'm looking through the holiday pictures of the Maxwell baby cousins, I noticed how different Melanie and NR-Anna are in what they wear and where they came from.

 

NR-Anna grew up practically Amish with her frumpers and goat milk soap business. Melanie attended church, dressed in "normal" clothing and had a father who acquired higher education (he is a chiropractor if I remember). Melanie' daughters seem like lively girls dressed in cute and modern clothing. NR-Anna will probably dress any future daughters in matching, home-made frumpers. The cousins from these families are babies now, but I think their different upbringing could cause conflict in the future.

 

I can imagine Joshua Maxwell growing up feeling entitled like another fundie Josh we know. What happens when his female cousins call him on his crap? Or refuse to treat him with the deference that he was raised to expect? Will Melanie want to continue to interact with such crazy family members if it starts affecting her children? Will NR-Anna want to mingle with such "liberal" members if her children are exposed to such ideas like college for girls? If Steve is still alive for this, how will he react? Despite the Maxwell's extreme isolation tendencies, every time they allow an outsider to marry into the family, they will experience nonMaxwell conflicts. I wonder if we will ever see the day when the Maxwell kids, each with families, will start getting pulled in different directions. Casa Maxwell may never see past the third generation.

[gustava]

I'm not yet willing to go quite that far. What I see with NRAnna/Christopher/the baby, at least so far, is a loving family. I'm crossing my fingers that, while they'll all be fundie, they are loving.

[lilwriter85]

I get a very loving and polite vibe from NR Anna. She seems to be ok with more the liberal Melanie. I can see NR Anna and Melanie doing their best to have their kids get along well with each other in general. But I can also see Joshua being Steve's favorite for years to come since he is the first grandson. I see conflicts happening there.

[tabitha2]

I can imagine Joshua Maxwell growing up feeling entitled like another fundie Josh we know. What happens when his female cousins call him on his crap? Or refuse to treat him with the deference that he was raised to expect? Will Melanie want to continue to interact with such crazy family members if it starts affecting her children? Will NR-Anna want to mingle with such "liberal" members if her children are exposed to such ideas like college for girls? If Steve is still alive for this, how will he react? Despite the Maxwell's extreme isolation tendencies, every time they allow an outsider to marry into the family, they will experience nonMaxwell conflicts. I wonder if we will ever see the day when the Maxwell kids, each with families, will start getting pulled in different directions. Casa Maxwell may never see past the third generation.

You are giving Melanie too much credit I think.Those children are being brought up pure Maxwell and all that entails;We have no indication Melanie wants to do anything different or anything different for her daughters and ditto for Anna Marie and even if they did what they want really does not matter in the long run.Nathan and his brother are heads of the homes.But little Joshua is going to be favored, esp over Christina.Josh is the first next gen male Max,he absolutely must be taught and reared in Steve's image and his ideals and grandpa will make damn sure that happens.Christina is just another cute baby girl to them though of course they love her.

[AVENues]

I don't find NR Anna hostile or intolerant at all. The family of Melanie is talked about significantly less, but I think that steve-o's pawns are in it.

[YPestis]

I don't mean that NR-Anna is mean or hostile. However, even nice people, who seem to get along with others may act when their children are involved. Plus, just because someone is nice, have a good relationship with their families, doesn't mean they will treat their inlaws fairly or always think highly of their spouse's nieces and nephews. Even in my own family, there are conflicts. Some are more protective of their own family's interests and act in conflict to other family members. They can be very nice and loving to their spouses and children, but when they their way of life is threatened, or their children are unduly exposed, I've seen good people act sometimes callously. I think that since NR-Anna and Melanie are shown with different shades of fundie-dom, their values may also differ. While children are small, those differences may not be important. As children enter teen years, that may change. If Melanie decides it's ok for her daughters to join in nonMaxwell activities, have nonMaxwell friends, or even attend college, that may challenge what's taught at NR-Anna's home. Again, this has nothing to do with being nice or loving. Anyway, just a thought. We can't predict what will happen with the family.

[AVENues]

I'll be the asshole to say it out loud. Once the headship of the entire clan - steve - will kick the bucket, Melanie's family will flee, chances are, never even look back and who can blame them, Joseph will move into his house single or not, and Chris and Anna will finally be able to be 100% happy. It's just incredible that one asshole has so much power that he can stand in the way of 20 people's happiness.

I am still laughing at the comment on the Munck website - "you have escaped marrying a Maxwell" - I freaking hope steveo does see it. These fundies can flip each other off in a very charming and meek way. : )

[lilith]

Do we really have any evidence that Nathan and Melanie are at all liberal?

Sure, Melanie wears more modern and stylish clothes than NR Anna, but so do the original recipe Maxwell girls, and even Terri.

The testimonies that Nathan and Melanie gave for Samaritan Ministries were standard extreme fundie stuff, Melanie is pushing her body for blessings when surely she has been advised to stop, they go to the nursing home church and generally seem to tow the party line.

Their girls have been using chore packs from a very young age - if Melanie was prepared to rebel against Maxwell extremism I would thing that would be an issue she would have stood up over. And sweet as the little girls look, they are always dressed in modest dresses and carrying dolls.

A reluctance to showcase their life on the blog as much as Christopher and NR Anna and some pretty (long) skirts doesn't spell liberal to me.

[tabitha2]

Thank you! It seems to me some times FJ posters latch on to certain Fundies and try to find liberality or desire to change in them without much evidence.

[WonderingInWA]

I think NR-Anna is a people-pleaser by nature, and her fundie-ism is just supportive of who she is at the core. She grew up with some of the Bradrick boys (there is video online of her singing in a chorus with Philip Bradrick, so I'm guessing they are around the same age) and probably the reason she didn't become a Bradrick is because she wasn't as worldly-looking as the wives those boys chose (going out on a limb here, but that's what I think). Melanie is more the look the Bradrick boys chose, but Nathan got a chance to chose many years ago before Stevie was so crazy and required the puritan look. Melanie has been in the family 10 years, I think, and NR-Anna just 2, so her puritan looks were probably more carefully selected.

[Guest Anonymous]

Do we really have any evidence that Nathan and Melanie are at all liberal?

We don't have any hard evidence but, while she was posting here, Mrs Mari/Queen Mother said a few times that Melanie had good contact with her family, is quite an influence over Nathan and that the girls were not subject to the same strictness as the Maxwells. Also, we have seen from the photos that the girls have many 'vocational' toys, eg doctor's kits, that would not be Steve-approved. Although Mrs Mari was clearly speaking out of both sides of her mouth between here and on their blog, she was quite consistent in the things she said here, so I'd take that to be mostly true.

I would not go as far as to say that they are at all liberal, but I could well imagine that, once Steve dies, the Melanie family might become more fundie-lite and move towards the ways that she was raised, rather than the ways Nathan was raised.

My prediction is that Christopher and Sarah will have the hardest time after Steve's demise, and I think both will struggle if the rest of the family move away from the super-strict lifestyle. They have both lived so long in the compound and internalised so much of Steve's thinking as their own, I think they would be overcome with bitterness and disappointment to see the rest of the family give it up in the name of 'fun'.

As to the cousins, I hope Joshua doesn't grow too big a sense of entitlement while Steve is alive, because I doubt very much there will be a compound left to head-up, by the time he comes of age.

[Jana814]

I get a very loving and polite vibe from NR Anna. She seems to be ok with more the liberal Melanie. I can see NR Anna and Melanie doing their best to have their kids get along well with each other in general. But I can also see Joshua being Steve's favorite for years to come since he is the first grandson. I see conflicts happening there.

I have to agree that Josh will be Steve's favorite!! I also wonder if Melanie was jealous that Anna had a boy as a first child.

[kpmom]

I have to agree that Josh will be Steve's favorite!! I also wonder if Melanie was jealous that Anna had a boy as a first child.

It might be a coincidence, but ever since he and Christina were born, it's Josh who Steve is pictured holding whenever he is pictured holding a grandchild. I don't believe I've seen him holding Christina except in the birth announcement pictures.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but yes, I think Steve values his grandson a great deal, possibly seeing Joshua overseeing the 3rd gen. of Maxwells, God help us.

[lilwriter85]

I think Nathan and Melanie might have been jealous of Chris and Anna having a boy especially first born.

[gustava]

I think Nathan and Melanie might have been jealous of Chris and Anna having a boy especially first born.

Evidence??

[lilwriter85]

I agree there is no evidence, from my own life I have had relatives who have admitted to being jealous when other family members had boys. So I do think it possible that Nathan and Melanie might have been like that.

[Coconut Flan]

If they weren't originally, but Steve is showing a decided favoritism (if he is), then they probably can't help some jealousy and other aggrieved feelings.

[Rosie]

I think NR-Anna is a people-pleaser by nature, and her fundie-ism is just supportive of who she is at the core. She grew up with some of the Bradrick boys (there is video online of her singing in a chorus with Philip Bradrick,

Oh my. Oh MY. Link please?

so I'm guessing they are around the same age) and probably the reason she didn't become a Bradrick is because she wasn't as worldly-looking as the wives those boys chose (going out on a limb here, but that's what I think). Melanie is more the look the Bradrick boys chose, but Nathan got a chance to chose many years ago before Stevie was so crazy and required the puritan look. Melanie has been in the family 10 years, I think, and NR-Anna just 2, so her puritan looks were probably more carefully selected.

I will be laughing all day at this line.

[Rosie]

It might be a coincidence, but ever since he and Christina were born, it's Josh who Steve is pictured holding whenever he is pictured holding a grandchild. I don't believe I've seen him holding Christina except in the birth announcement pictures.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but yes, I think Steve values his grandson a great deal, possibly seeing Joshua overseeing the 3rd gen. of Maxwells, God help us.

I have noticed that as well.

[WonderingInWA]

Oh my. Oh MY. Link please?

I will be laughing all day at this line.

Not sure if you can see this: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=355 ... =3&theater

Philip Bradrick shows up at :52, and then the next shot of the girls contains NR-Anna.

[slickcat79]

LOL, watch Sarah's next post feature Steve holding baby Christina :lol:

[Guest Anonymous]

Oh my. Oh MY. Link please?

I will be laughing all day at this line.

According to Mrs Mari, it was Sarah who suggested Anna as a potential help-meet to Christopher. And if you read Anna's soap-making page on the Hamilton Family Farms blog, she is all about the Good Person Test evangelism method. She was well-selected.

[Justme]

I don't think Mel is jealous of Joshie. I think that their 4 barron years, the death of their first child, and miscarriages, have them grateful for the 3 beautiful girls they have.

[tabitha2]

But that does not mean she does not want her boy PDQ and won't be a bit disappointed if the next is also a girl. I believe if the was going to be Jealous of anything it would be The quickness of pregnancy and ease with which AM had a baby boy or girl.

[WonderingInWA]

I don't think Mel is jealous of Joshie. I think that their 4 barron years, the death of their first child, and miscarriages, have them grateful for the 3 beautiful girls they have.

I agree. It was heartbreaking to watch their first baby die and I thought it was brave of them to share it with the world. So, SO sad. I think, like any parents, they are just grateful for what they've got. And I think Melanie, with her (albeit fundie) sense of style really enjoys dressing her girls. I have boys and I have to tell you, it's not nearly as fun!