Jim Bob's bike analogy

[wild little fox]

"Two weeks before Christmas, they buy your bike and hide it in the strange shed in the back yard."

WTF? A strange shed?? If I assume the bike is her virginity, then the strange shed is the pubic area? Or the parents protection? Chastity belt? Or what? He does not have a healthy view of sex, women or their bodies.

[Miggy]

I think we are all reading far too much into JBs comment. The man is an idiot who sticks his foot in his mouth everytime he opens it. Did JB realise he was effectively describing rape? Did JB realise he was calling women inanimate objects? I doubt it. I think he just came up with an idiot story to tell his kids not to have sex.

[freejoytoo]

Atheists can slut shame too.

Yes, but doesn't moralising virginity and sexual behavior stem from patriarchal religion?

[lilith]

Yes, but doesn't moralising virginity and sexual behavior stem from patriarchal religion?

Not always.

I have known atheist feminists who condemned and shamed sex workers ( by which definition i mean porn actors as well as traditional prostitutes and strippers) in the strongest possible terms. Not as exploited victims of the patriarchy ( which I don't agree with, but could understand the reasoning behind), but as immoral sluts who have somehow collaborated with their oppressors and let down the female cause.

Very few sections of society accept full sexual freedom for women, especially when women use those freedoms in ways that others don't agree with or understand.

[freejoytoo]

Couldn't you argue that the viewpoint is a result of living in a patriarchal society, which has a judeo-christian base?

[lawfulevil]

I was talking to my kid about it in kindergarten. I think I over did it since in third grade he apologized to me for being straight.

That made me laugh and tear up at the same time.

Not to derail, but we've gotten our nephew "My Princess Boy" and "King & King", along with mainstream kid classics like "Where The Wild Things Are". His parents are all in. Any recommendations? His birthday is in 2 weeks, and the traditional gift (family thing) is a savings bond, but I'd like to give him something for now as well.

On-topic: Go fuck yourself, Jim-Bob. In all senses.

[ILoveJellybeans]

I hate that I was never taught about any kind of sex I would ever have in sex-ed. I didn't know what two women did together that counted as sex, and I didn't know how I could have safe sex because sex ed was basically taught as if someone like me didn't exist in a 7th grade classroom. I was terrified of asking questions, but I wonder if the teachers would have answered them. I would love to see a sex ed class that mentions that some men have sex with men and some women have sex with women, and here's how they can be safe. I thought the sex ed I got was good, and certainly much better than abstinence only, but I still felt invisible and ignored in my grade 6-10 sex ed classes.

Same here.

I found out when I was 21, from a friend.

I dont know when I was told what gay meant, or whether I worked it out for myself, but I dont ever remember being taught anything other than that sex is when a man puts his penis into a womans vagina.

I worked it out earlier about how two men have sex, but its more obvious, took me ages to figure out about two women.

[Peas n carrots]

In eighth grade my son will have to detail what he wants in a spouse and write a letter to a friend saying what he thinks real love is.

:shock: Your school district is asking 14 year-olds to write a letter asking what they want in a spouse? And writing about what real love is? Are they being graded? I am blown over anyone would expect a 14 yo to have a great deal of insight into this. Granted some kids are more mature than others, but this is just really OTT.

[treemom]

Yes, but doesn't moralising virginity and sexual behavior stem from patriarchal religion?

probably, but that doesn't mean it violates the establishment clause.

[treemom]

:shock: Your school district is asking 14 year-olds to write a letter asking what they want in a spouse? And writing about what real love is? Are they being graded? I am blown over anyone would expect a 14 yo to have a great deal of insight into this. Granted some kids are more mature than others, but this is just really OTT.

my son won't even be 14 in eight grade. He turns 13 in June and will be in eight grade in August.

I am not sure if these writing are graded on content or participation, but they are graded.

[DarkAnts]

:shock: Your school district is asking 14 year-olds to write a letter asking what they want in a spouse? And writing about what real love is? Are they being graded? I am blown over anyone would expect a 14 yo to have a great deal of insight into this. Granted some kids are more mature than others, but this is just really OTT.

At my school, we made posters of what to do on dates besides "petting." This was in the late 90's. We never actually talked about sex in the sex ed class. After the first few days I got my parents to sign a note saying that they did not want me to take the sex ed portion of the class. All I had to do was show them the "text book" we were using. I spent my time in the library reading my copy of our bodies ourselves instead. It was part of our health class. The sex ed section lasted two weeks.

[Closed Womb]

Personally, I've always loathed the overused car analogy -- got to "test drive" your partner. But, this, THIS takes the prize.

What kind of warped mind thinks that normal, adult, consensual sexual activity leaves a person in the condition in which he describes that bike? Oh, wait, if he had said described the reasonable condition of a used bike -- "Imagine someone borrowed your bike, and now there was some mud in the tires treads and you'd have to adjust the seat back to where you want it, but otherwise no one would know the difference between this one and a brand new bike" -- his kids might have teh secks.

[Maggie Mae]

Why do we even need an analogy about sex anyway? Why not just explain it with the proper terms?

Besides, its not like there is an odometer on a bike.

And to continue it further: there are different kinds of bikes. Some people like to ride mountain bikes, some people prefer the thrill of high performance road bikes. Other people like a hybrid. I see people riding fat bikes all over in winter, and in places that are flat, the cruiser type bike is popular. Bikes that are used for the wrong conditions might break or not work at all. They are not one-size-fit all it does not mean that one bike is better than another, just that they are different with different purposes in their life. Just like some women are at their best when at home with children does not mean that all women are.

[celestial]

I hate that I was never taught about any kind of sex I would ever have in sex-ed. I didn't know what two women did together that counted as sex, and I didn't know how I could have safe sex because sex ed was basically taught as if someone like me didn't exist in a 7th grade classroom. I was terrified of asking questions, but I wonder if the teachers would have answered them. I would love to see a sex ed class that mentions that some men have sex with men and some women have sex with women, and here's how they can be safe. I thought the sex ed I got was good, and certainly much better than abstinence only, but I still felt invisible and ignored in my grade 6-10 sex ed classes.

QFT. I felt completely invisible until I went away to college. I learned plenty about PIV sex and all the repercussions of that, but there was no mention of sex outside of that narrow frame (or even the existence of other orientations) and of COURSE I wasn't going to ask.

[DarkAnts]

Why do we even need an analogy about sex anyway? Why not just explain it with the proper terms?

Besides, its not like there is an odometer on a bike.

And to continue it further: there are different kinds of bikes. Some people like to ride mountain bikes, some people prefer the thrill of high performance road bikes. Other people like a hybrid. I see people riding fat bikes all over in winter, and in places that are flat, the cruiser type bike is popular. Bikes that are used for the wrong conditions might break or not work at all. They are not one-size-fit all it does not mean that one bike is better than another, just that they are different with different purposes in their life. Just like some women are at their best when at home with children does not mean that all women are.

I was in a school run by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. We actually had a guest pasture that put it into real terms. He said that when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone that person has ever had sex with. I dont agree with the analogy. It was nice to hear someone actually use real words to discuss it.

[SisiL78]

In the past when I got a bike and couldn't try it out in the store beforehand I was usually very disappointed. When I finally went to a nice bike store I was allowed to try it out and ride the bike before buying. I've had that bike for 15 years. How's that for an analogy Duggars! Try before you buy :-)

[EyeQueue]

QFT. I felt completely invisible until I went away to college. I learned plenty about PIV sex and all the repercussions of that, but there was no mention of sex outside of that narrow frame (or even the existence of other orientations) and of COURSE I wasn't going to ask.

I just asked my daughter about this (8th grader in a CA public school), and she said that in her sex ed at school so far, they've mentioned different orientations as being part of normal human sexuality, but haven't gone into anything other than PIV sex. I'm not sure they will. And even though I'm straight-ish, I find that a problem.

[Witsec7]

I just asked my daughter about this (8th grader in a CA public school), and she said that in her sex ed at school so far, they've mentioned different orientations as being part of normal human sexuality, but haven't gone into anything other than PIV sex. I'm not sure they will. And even though I'm straight-ish, I find that a problem.

Have you considered filling in those blanks on your own?

[celestial]

Have you considered filling in those blanks on your own?

Yes, maybe consider that. My parents, god bless 'em, gave a great explanation of puberty and where babies come from when I was a little girl. But they didn't go beyond that unless I had specific questions and that's just not something a teenage girl is going to delve into with her parents. (Or at least, I didn't. Maybe some kids are a lot braver.) I figured everything out on my own eventually, but since it wasn't covered at school it would have been nice to have someone bring up that other kinds of sex exist and are normal.

[EyeQueue]

Have you considered filling in those blanks on your own?

Yup. I will. :) It's a process, though, since I'm still overcoming the more repressed way my parents dealt with sexuality. It's probably going to happen soon, too, since two of her friends self-identify as bi-sexual, and several others identify as gay (both male and female friends).

[EyeQueue]

Yes, maybe consider that. My parents, god bless 'em, gave a great explanation of puberty and where babies come from when I was a little girl. But they didn't go beyond that unless I had specific questions and that's just not something a teenage girl is going to delve into with her parents. (Or at least, I didn't. Maybe some kids are a lot braver.) I figured everything out on my own eventually, but since it wasn't covered at school it would have been nice to have someone bring up that other kinds of sex exist and are normal.

Fortunately, my daughter is very brave. She doesn't seem to have a problem asking questions, even if she can tell I sometimes get embarrassed. We just kind of plow through. Right now, I'm pretty much focusing on emphasizing to her that she can always talk to me about any topic, that she won't "get in trouble" no matter what she needs to tell me. She's asked some specific questions recently, and I need to start being more proactive about stuff in the near future.

[Anxious Girl]

Well, Jim-Shit-for-Brains, here's a fundie anology: They're like the boy in The boy who Cried Wolf. They cry persecution when people are really critizing them and get mad when people don't want to live according to their beliefs. They're not being harassed, killed, or put in jail for their beliefs in America, and don't realize that America isn't a Christian nation. Fundies fool themselves into eating shit disguised as cupcakes.

[NjoyingNsanity]

Dear Jim Boob

Please for the love of God just shut the hell up already. Really just take some very good advice and keep your mouth shut and let people suspect you're stupid instead of opening it and removing all doubt.

[AVENues]

He will not. The male dominant arsehole, who's still not over having been a dork once, will get all the revenge he can on women for not dating him, and on his wife for dating others, and on his daughters for Michelle's "baggage". He is a toothy grinned, sinister male-dominant asshole. He's scary because he hides his agenda behind sugar coated Christian crap, and misleads people. Actually, stupid as some people are, gets people to follow his idiocratic ideas.

[karismanic]

Sorry to be late to the party on this one (newbie here), but here's a thought on MissBeaufort's post, which was early in page 1:

Are the parents representative of the person giving their virginity away? Is that why there's hoping and dreaming about the state of perfection involved? Or is the person giving their virginity away represented by the bike? Because if so, no parent should be hoping and wishing about the condition of anything. The state of my virginity or lack thereof is not the concern of my parents, thank you!

I think the "parents" in JB's analogy are supposed to represent God. Still an ineffective analogy, but a little less creepy.