Fundies next door

[Boltingmadonna]

My husband, our son and baby grandson (15 months) were out clearing snow off the drive and the four cars parked there because we have family visiting. We have a traddie-light Catholic family next door--wife and girls sometimes wear pants, but girls attend Catholic school and wife is frequently pregnant. There are two older girls and one older boy, all of whom have normal names and are out of the house. Then there's a gap, followed by three little girls and a year-old boy, all of whom have ultra-Catholic saints' names. The oldest boy evidently is a disappointment--his mom told me he hasn't chosen a career yet and doesn't want to be a priest. She said of Baby D, the youngest boy, "Maybe HE will be our priest!"

So, we saw them getting into the car to go sledding. That is, Mom and kids were loading in. Dad came out to ask Mom to move the other car while she was at it. This is the first time I've ever seen him outside. Mom does ALL the yard work--often with a baby strapped to her chest. Mr. Bolting told me she had been shoveling snow this morning, too. Traddie Dad looked somehow off to me--he has a belly and looks seedy in a way that seemed familiar to me from other fundie sightings. And Girl C, the little one who is talkative and friendly with neighbors, told us they are going to have another baby! "We hope it will be a boy because we have five girls in our family and only two boys." Mr. Bolting turned to me after Traddie Dad was gone and said "There is something wrong with that guy." Which was exactly what I thought. I said "Well, maybe he has a medical condition that makes him unable to do any work." Mr. Bolting said "Then he should stop popping out so many babies!"

I have no point to make--just that I feel sorry for my neighbor that she's pregnant again one year after giving birth. And she'll have to keep on doing all the yard work and child care because her Protector, Provider, and Sperm Donor can't be bothered to help.

[Edited for correct number of boys.]

[2xx1xy1JD]

Maybe get to know the family better before jumping to any conclusions.

My husband has medical restrictions which limit his ability to do some physical tasks, which explains why I'm the one hauling out the trash to the curb. The issues are not obvious to a casual observer (retinal detachment plus possible rhythm issue with the heart), and they don't prevent him from working at the moment.

[Boltingmadonna]

Yes--I totally agree there's no point in judging someone when you don't even know them. Traddie Dad may well have health concerns that are none of my business. The part where I get a little bit judgy is the part where more and more work gets loaded onto Traddie Mom--plus my concern for those sweet little girls. I don't get why it's so important to have a baby a year when you already have seven.

[Cannelle]

I also agree. While it's very, very possible that Dad is just a typical patriarchal douche, I also would caution that you not judge unless you know the whole story. I can't lift shit or do heavy work because I have a herniated disc in my lower back. Some days (like today), I'm perfectly fine and look pretty much normal. And within a matter of hours, I can go from that to barely able to move and needing my cane to even think about walking. I do feel for Mom, though, because damn, that's a shitload of extra work on her.

And I was raised Catholic, and I never, ever understood the whole wanting-your-kid-to-be-a-priest/nun thing. It's kind of creepy, in that you're basically wishing a life of celibacy and no children on your own kid. It sounds so...unfulfilling, and lonely.

[Lillybee]

I also agree. While it's very, very possible that Dad is just a typical patriarchal douche, I also would caution that you not judge unless you know the whole story. I can't lift shit or do heavy work because I have a herniated disc in my lower back. Some days (like today), I'm perfectly fine and look pretty much normal. And within a matter of hours, I can go from that to barely able to move and needing my cane to even think about walking. I do feel for Mom, though, because damn, that's a shitload of extra work on her.

And I was raised Catholic, and I never, ever understood the whole wanting-your-kid-to-be-a-priest/nun thing. It's kind of creepy, in that you're basically wishing a life of celibacy and no children on your own kid. It sounds so...unfulfilling, and lonely.

That happened to my ex. Mom wanted him to become a priest, so he was shipped off to seminary at 14, he was an ordained deacon and left the church soon after. He was very damaged because of it.

[Wolfie]

California's current governor started Seminary to become a priest, but left.

ETA- I don't think he was pushed to do this by his parents, his dad was a governor too, from what my grandma said, his parents just wanted him to decide on something, rather than keep changing his mind.

[Jana814]

Yes--I totally agree there's no point in judging someone when you don't even know them. Traddie Dad may well have health concerns that are none of my business. The part where I get a little bit judgy is the part where more and more work gets loaded onto Traddie Mom--plus my concern for those sweet little girls. I don't get why it's so important to have a baby a year when you already have seven.

I don't get why it is so important to have a baby a year either. Could the older kids be from someone prier marriage or do who think this family pulled a Steve and Teri Maxwell and got a reversial?

[Four is Enough]

I know this is an old discussion, but I just wanted to add: I am a RC married to a RC, and I always prayed that my children would choose a partner suitable for them and a job they loved. Priesthood or the convent was just always among the possibilities. Why not? The world needs priests and nuns. My SIL is a nun, has been for over 30 years, and is truly happy being so. To me it's no different than my own calling to be a nurse..