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Christmas Dinner with the Misogynist


Freed

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A little background: every holiday, my mom invites her 'adopted mother' from her fundie-lite church. This woman and I do not like each other, mostly because I'm not feminine or submissive/respectful enough, and she's overbearing and rude.

 

This year takes the absolute cake, though, and I'm still shaking with anger.

 

She and my mother were talking, and she says, "Mary was a good example of a woman. Even when she was accused of being a harlot, she didn't argue. Women need to learn to keep their mouths shut. They shouldn't argue with men. They need to sit down and stay quiet and listen to the men. Men are the head of women."

 

I'm just in shock. Next year, I'm getting a hotel room and going out for Chinese.

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I feel for you. My stepson is quite the misogynist, and the last few Christmases have been very rough. This one so far is going okay, but I'm staying out of his way as much as I can.

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I think getting a hotel room and Chinese sounds like a lot more fun than spending time with a hurtful woman. (My father was a misogynist, so I understand).

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A little background: every holiday, my mom invites her 'adopted mother' from her fundie-lite church. This woman and I do not like each other, mostly because I'm not feminine or submissive/respectful enough, and she's overbearing and rude.

This year takes the absolute cake, though, and I'm still shaking with anger.

She and my mother were talking, and she says, "Mary was a good example of a woman. Even when she was accused of being a harlot, she didn't argue. Women need to learn to keep their mouths shut. They shouldn't argue with men. They need to sit down and stay quiet and listen to the men. Men are the head of women."

I'm just in shock. Next year, I'm getting a hotel room and going out for Chinese.

To quote Randall Graves from Clerks 2 - an all-powerful, inherently superior MAN! - "I'm not even going to point out the irony here."

If it was me, I'd enlist a male member of Free Jinger to come to the next Christmas dinner and shoot down her bullshit in the intelligent, cogent way that people do here and see what she says when a ~*MAN*~ is telling her not to be a misogynist. If she argues, you can sweetly say "But didn't you say last year that women should never argue with men? That they should sit down, stay quiet and listen to them? Doesn't seem like you're taking your own advice there."

If there were no takers, a hotel and going out for dinner would be my Plan B too (except substitute Chinese with Thai or Indian.) It sucks that the assholery is in your house, though. There's one family Christmas party that my branch of the family can no longer stand to attend, but at least it doesn't force us out of our home at Christmas. :(

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To quote Randall Graves from Clerks 2 - an all-powerful, inherently superior MAN! - "I'm not even going to point out the irony here."

If it was me, I'd enlist a male member of Free Jinger to come to the next Christmas dinner and shoot down her bullshit in the intelligent, cogent way that people do here and see what she says when a ~*MAN*~ is telling her not to be a misogynist. If she argues, you can sweetly say "But didn't you say last year that women should never argue with men? That they should sit down, stay quiet and listen to them? Doesn't seem like you're taking your own advice there."

If there were no takers, a hotel and going out for dinner would be my Plan B too (except substitute Chinese with Thai or Indian.) It sucks that the assholery is in your house, though. There's one family Christmas party that my branch of the family can no longer stand to attend, but at least it doesn't force us out of our home at Christmas. :(

That would be the best thing ever to watch. Unfortunately, it'd probably backfire. My mom worships the ground this woman walks on, and I'm pretty sure if I made her choose who to have for Christmas, I wouldn't win.

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Some women do take their fair in misogyny.

How the ever loving fork does that lady know what mary said or did not say? If she had shut up? Was she present? Does she have a tape?

Many women indoctrinate independent, fresh, open minded women in a misogynistic way. If I cannot avoid them, which I normally do with people I do not care for, I freaking let them have it. I do let them have it. Freaking toolbags.

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Oh, Goddess if I was in your place I would be doing everything to piss this woman off from wearing pagan 'tees', dying my hair blue, to saying "Oh my Goddess" whenever possible.

And of course volunteering to belly dance in front of everyone

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Oh, Goddess if I was in your place I would be doing everything to piss this woman off from wearing pagan 'tees', dying my hair blue, to saying "Oh my Goddess" whenever possible.

And of course volunteering to belly dance in front of everyone

I'm just hiding in my room with FJ for the most part; the hot chocolate with whiskey helps. Does having very short, bright red hair count? (If so, she hates it. It's too short and red hair is bad. She berates me about it every time she sees me.)

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Oh, Goddess if I was in your place I would be doing everything to piss this woman off from wearing pagan 'tees', dying my hair blue, to saying "Oh my Goddess" whenever possible.

And of course volunteering to belly dance in front of everyone

Christmas trees have pagan, Celtic origins, does that overly religious misogynist know that?

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This is what I would say to the the nasty hag next time she says that the "man" is "the head" of fill-in-the-blank...

"Well, if the MAN is considered to the be the head of _________, I would consider the woman to be the neck. The neck supports and CONTROLS the head. The NECK can block signals from the head. So, without the NECK, the head is absolutely worthless!!! So, in my book, a MAN can be the head of anything he chooses - but when he has a partner (or wife) (or whatever), the MAN'S control is an illusion. And the only one who actually believes that the MAN is the head of most shit is THE MAN himself." Of course, you can use that any old time!! :D

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I'm really tired of having to be the lightning rod in dodgy situations, so I just had cut off horrid people and honestly? They miss me more than I do miss them (which is not at all). I used to have people like this in my life and since they could not add value to my life their absence makes no difference. OK it does. It is a blessing. :))

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Red hair...is...bad?? Sounds like this woman is living in the past in more ways than one. Is your hair dyed red or natural? Either way, she's an idiot.

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My "Christmas" was AWESOME, just as I had planned. I was in PJs the whole day, except for the morning shower, went to the marketplace, bought a bucketload of fresh local food (handmade noodles, sticky rice pudding candy, grilled fish) went home, was watching oldies cartoons the whole day, then a few comedies, in the evening I was watching Die Hard 1 and 2 and The woman in black and Sinister (for the 82489539263rd time). I had my phone switched off. Read NO emails. I cut myself off, I enjoyed my own company, my privacy, fun with shows and movies and a LOT of food. Then, really early in the morning, I had some sleep. Oh, forgot to mention, we celebrate Xmas on the 24th, so I had my ME-day on the 24th. No cooking, no guests, no mandatory phone calls, no visitors, no visits, NOBODY but me. I still cannot get over it, it was so good. Like a dream. All my Christmases should have been like that. I could spend my entire life like that. I defo had no irritating relative around to ruin my dinner with bitter ass comments. Ah. I decided to spend my saturdays doing the same thing, except for the gym hours and swimming. Then sleep in really late on Sundays. This is the only way I can put up with life and the fact that I have to endure people sometimes.

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My "Christmas" was AWESOME, just as I had planned. I was in PJs the whole day, except for the morning shower

Ha ha, me too! PJs allllll day apart from morning/evening showers, a roast pork and champagne dinner with my parents (yes, in PJs), and the rest of the day I spent watching videos with my best friend. Barely had to cook, didn't put up any decorations apart from a wreath I copied from etsy and I had a really relaxed day.

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Guest Anonymous
This is what I would say to the the nasty hag next time she says that the "man" is "the head" of fill-in-the-blank...

"Well, if the MAN is considered to the be the head of _________, I would consider the woman to be the neck. The neck supports and CONTROLS the head. The NECK can block signals from the head. So, without the NECK, the head is absolutely worthless!!! So, in my book, a MAN can be the head of anything he chooses - but when he has a partner (or wife) (or whatever), the MAN'S control is an illusion. And the only one who actually believes that the MAN is the head of most shit is THE MAN himself." Of course, you can use that any old time!! :D

That's from the Greek Wedding film, isn't it? But how does that do anything to dissolve the headship bullshit? What about a little mutual respect and equality?

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Next time this woman starts going on about 'head of the household' point out to her that she's a single woman, and knows nothing about the subject she's blathering on about. Don't feel you have to keep your mouth shut around her to 'keep the peace'. If she's spewing garbage, call her on it.

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A little background: every holiday, my mom invites her 'adopted mother' from her fundie-lite church. This woman and I do not like each other, mostly because I'm not feminine or submissive/respectful enough, and she's overbearing and rude.

This year takes the absolute cake, though, and I'm still shaking with anger.

She and my mother were talking, and she says, "Mary was a good example of a woman. Even when she was accused of being a harlot, she didn't argue. Women need to learn to keep their mouths shut. They shouldn't argue with men. They need to sit down and stay quiet and listen to the men. Men are the head of women."

I'm just in shock. Next year, I'm getting a hotel room and going out for Chinese.

Are you worried about your mom? Has she been turning fundie, or does she kind of let crazypant's words go in one ear and out the other? Is anyone trying to push you into fundieland?

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Are you worried about your mom? Has she been turning fundie, or does she kind of let crazypant's words go in one ear and out the other? Is anyone trying to push you into fundieland?

My mom's actually fundie-lite, after being fundie for most of my childhood - certified Above Rubies/Pearls/Vision Forum-worshipping koolaid-drinker. After a while, she got more into the faith healing craziness, and became a little less fundie. Unfortunately, she adores this woman and thinks she's the best human being on the planet. I'm... well, I'm religious, I suppose, but I agree with Gandhi's statement - "I love your Christ, I do not love your Christians." I was fundie when my parents were, but I started falling away when I was around 15, and started making new friends, who started helping me away from it. FJ has helped a lot. :)

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Next time this woman starts going on about 'head of the household' point out to her that she's a single woman, and knows nothing about the subject she's blathering on about. Don't feel you have to keep your mouth shut around her to 'keep the peace'. If she's spewing garbage, call her on it.

I did not want to bring this up since it triggers very bad memories in me, but I had a relative exactly like that. Divorced 4 times, had been single since 38, and I would have had never judged her for it if she hadn't been blathering about how I should behave around men.

- always be pretty - she bathed 1ce in every 2 weeks, her feet were always dirty

- always be sweet - all she did was yell and chased her husbands away

- study hard, don't be so lazy - I have 2 degrees and she dropped out in elementary school

eh I could go on and on. Humble people never lecture and judge others, it is always the most pathetic ones. She plays a large part in me living tens of thousand miles away from home. :evil: :twisted:

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