Once again, this adoptive mom is pissing me off.

[patsymae]

I adopted from China, twice, and it is my dearest wish that we could have contact with the birthmother. In pursuit of that, I have kept in touch with the orphanage (in case the birth mother ever shows up). I send pictures of my girls every year to the orphanage (same reason). I have tracked down every bit of information I can about how they were found (in case my girls want to search when adults). I keep the limited birthparent information I have in the safe deposit box, with copies in my daughter's lifebooks, which they can access anytime.

Most adoptive parents I know do the same things, and feel the same way.

I don't know why people have to trash so hard on adoptive parents. Even if you don't care about us, do you really think it helps the adopted kids you claim to care so much about? If my kids ever read your comment, they would be terribly hurt and confused. Your comment shows so much anger, and so little caring about the kids involved.

Because you are an anomaly and the norm is more like the person who wrote "Twelve years ago, my husband and I chose international adoption for the specific reason that “birthparents will not be part of the picture.†I had no intention of sharing my child with some unknown family. I wanted things to be straight forward and absent of anyone or anything that complicated my or my future child’s life." Link is rainbowkids.com/expertarticledetails.aspx?id=11 but the sentiments are expressed all over the place on AP websites.

[August]

I adopted from China, twice, and it is my dearest wish that we could have contact with the birthmother. In pursuit of that, I have kept in touch with the orphanage (in case the birth mother ever shows up). I send pictures of my girls every year to the orphanage (same reason). I have tracked down every bit of information I can about how they were found (in case my girls want to search when adults). I keep the limited birthparent information I have in the safe deposit box, with copies in my daughter's lifebooks, which they can access anytime.

Most adoptive parents I know do the same things, and feel the same way.

I don't know why people have to trash so hard on adoptive parents. Even if you don't care about us, do you really think it helps the adopted kids you claim to care so much about? If my kids ever read your comment, they would be terribly hurt and confused. Your comment shows so much anger, and so little caring about the kids involved.

I know you'd like to think that everyone else has the same ethics you do, it's unfortunately very rare among people who blog about their adoption experience, and not just the fundie child collecters, but normal people who just want children.

[SpeakNow]

I know you'd like to think that everyone else has the same ethics you do, it's unfortunately very rare among people who blog about their adoption experience, and not just the fundie child collecters, but normal people who just want children.

I disagree. My sister was adopted, and my parents saved what little information they had about her birth mother. She's not interested in contacting her, but she knows that she can at any point. She was in a playgroup with other adopted children, and most of those parents had the same attitude. Just because the bloggers are the most vocal, doesn't mean their views represent the majority.

[Emme]

Yeah, I have a number of friends, bloggers or not, who have adopted who are ethical, great parents. I hate when people crap on adoptive parents willy-nilly. At least only crap on the ones doing something wrong.

[NurseNell]

Yeah, I have a number of friends, bloggers or not, who have adopted who are ethical, great parents. I hate when people crap on adoptive parents willy-nilly. At least only crap on the ones doing something wrong.

As an adoptive parent I agree. My 3 kids are adults now, all over age 30. 2 were adopted internationally. They were raised to love their birthparents, any information we had was theirs to have. Two are reunited because I located their parents for them at their request. The other birthmother is very difficult to find but I hope to locate her before I die. My two who are reunited have on going contact with their families. My son lives in his country of birth. In my real life I know more adoptive parents like myself than like the ones posted about here.

[nana sew dear]

I want to tell her that kids aren't jewelry for her to wear and show off and put away when you're tired with them. You never know what you will get with a child and calling them a "klutz" among other things isn't going to win you any favors.

Exactly. I have known far too many people like this and the great majority call themselves Christians. I know one family that adopted six little ones, all pretty close in age, within a short amount of time. By the time this group was 7 or 8 years old they decided that there were a few they didn't want any more and began giving them away. I do mean giving them away , there was no agency involved. One little guy, Zach, originally from Hong Kong, and moderately disabled, went to a LARGE collector family. They had about 30 kids. A few weeks later CPS raided this family and Zach went into foster care. Since we were certified I asked to be Zach's foster family because we knew both of the families he had lived with before and had known Zach since his arrival in this country. His original adoptive family got him back but not before his mom told me that Zach was a "fag" and a "lemon" (he was 8 and had played Barbie with my girls). They took him home, moved into another state and gave him to another family of 30+ kids.

I have lots more stories. All of these stories would make your eyes bug out and your mouth drop open. I don't know how to fix this but I know these little ones need so much more protection than they are getting.

My adoptive and bio children are all grown now. Zach is too, he would be about 30. I am relieved not to be so close to that world anymore although our experience was good.

I hope Linzi can go to a family who will learn to love her and bond with her as she is. I hope they will tend to her emotional needs. I hope her new parent/s will be proud.

[LilMissMetaphor]

This has been such a tough time for me. Yes, I know that I have five beautiful girls, but I can't get these other kids out of my mind! There is NO life for them in China. My dream was to have 6 daughters from China.

You are such an asshole, Christi. You HAD 6 daughters. You got a freaking tattoo of your sixth daughter. And then you and your older girls decided that she was too loud and weird and she didn't "fit in" like you thought she was going to. So you dumped her.

We have checked with several different agency's to see if there was any possibility for us to adopt from China again. Madison said our best bet would be to wait for several years and then try. CHI said that they would not try now, basically wait for a while. BAAS said that after I have been cancer free for THREE years they would check into it. I will be 2 years cancer free April 19, 2015. Then we contacted Lifeline. I had heard that Lifeline had been successful in helping families who have dissolved an adoption here in the USA adopt from China again. Well, it is not going to happen for us now. The C3WA told them that right now is not a good time. But they did not give us a time limit. Now is not a good time...so in 6 months? A year? Two years? Lifeline is going to ask that question for us and they are also going to tell the C3WA that the child we dissolved has been legally adopted here in the USA by a family who love her very much!

I hope that you never get to adopt again because you are a shithead.

[moodygirl86]

This Christi person just doesn't quit, does she.

[LilMissMetaphor]

So it seems, per FB, that Christie's husband Mark passed away in August.  No mention of it on the blog, although she posted last month that she might be updating more.

At least the girls seem to be heading towards education.  RaeAnne's in college.