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GeoBQn

According to Abigail, poverty is totes awesome.

abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/12/poverty-is-really-really-great.html

It is outrageous how much time I spent as a Mother making sure that the girls always looked "nice" before we went outside. I felt like their nice clothes and their perfect comportment was necessary all times, in all places because otherwise we would morph into "one of those families"--the stupid, poor, feral ones. And yeah--I'm calling YOU out Catholic Daily Mass goers. The pressure to keep small kids still, quiet, and "seen but never, ever heard" is way worse in a Daily Mass among older folks that are supposed to be best friends with Jesus than pretty much any where else on Planet Earth.

So world, I'm done pleasing the crazies. Parenting is a skill, done best with practice. Guess what I've got over the past 9 years practice! I practice staying calm when I'm pregnant. I practice staying calm with colic. Jesus can give you the power to do anything--he cures lepers. He can help a Mom grow in holiness enough to lovingly parent a bunch of kids, love her husband, cook supper and sing a new song of praise in her heart while doing it. I'm not the one powering my own house, honey. Jesus is! That is the one paradigm shift that makes all the difference.

Poverty, guys. Poverty is gift!

(Emphasis in original)

The poor dear, being persecuted by fellow parishioners who expect children to be somewhat well-groomed and well behaved during a religious service.

All of the reasons she lists for being glad to be in poverty can be easily done when NOT in poverty--with the added bonus of knowing that the heat will stay on and the kids will have dinner.

My grandparents' generation grew up the poor children of immigrants. They had fond memories of simple pleasures and how close they were with their families during this time. They also spent every waking moment working to get out of poverty. My great-aunt began working part time jobs at 12, and graduated high school at 16 to work full time. The women worked until they had children. The men worked in factories until they found more lucrative and safe business opportunities. My grandfathers worked their way through college, one of them taking about 10 years to earn a bachelors degree because he had to take time off after every semester to work and earn enough money for the next semester's worth of classes. As a result of their work, they were able to end the cycle of poverty and ensure that their children and grandchildren would have a higher quality of life--living in safe neighborhoods, being well nourished, and going to college to pave the way to better jobs.

Abigail, get it through your thick skull. Finding a way out of poverty isn't about "keeping up with the Joneses." It's about giving your children and grandchildren the tools they need to struggle less to get by in life.

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slickcat79

Christ, it's like Chris Jeub with a rosary. They both walk such a weird line to justify their lifestyles, while demonstrating that they are completely divorced from reality. As usual, Abigail thinks about no one but herself.

On the one hand, she put a lot of time and effort into developing a career that could give her children TONS of opportunities-for education, for outside activities, you name it. But she chooses to live in "poverty" instead, and just look at all the things she has sacrificed: her son's soccer lessons, computers for her kids, dinners out for the family, etc.

On the other hand, her definition of poverty is a freaking joke. She spends $60 A MONTH renting a cello, which would be a ridiculous expense for a truly impoverished person. And if she has $60/month to blow on a cello, why not set it aside for a few months and buy one? There are tons of listings on ebay for cellos that are <$500. Plus she has $400 extra sitting around for swim camp in the summer. It's great that her kids get to do something they enjoy like that, but again, people in poverty do not have hundreds of dollars for swim camp.

Abigail's definition of poverty includes having to buy cheap Christmas gifts, and in her world "not having money for food" results from having spent all her money on concessions. If she truly had to wonder where her kids were getting their next meal from, if she didn't know how to keep the heat running in the house, if she didn't even know whether they'd have a house next month...that is getting closer to poverty by Western standards. So aggravating.

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Coconut Flan

She does have a point about some daily Mass goers. I've seen a few that actually said that children shouldn't be allowed at daily Mass and that group would always stare at any child that made a sound. Thankfully they've always been a very small minority where I've gone.

Poverty as a virtue? Ask your kids in 10 to 20 years and I'm sure it will be enlightening. If she didn't have the means to lift them out of poverty that would be an entirely different story.

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theologyofyourface

I...don't get it. Can someone please explain what poverty has to do with keeping your children well-behaved (or not) in church? I guess I'm just too "stupid, poor, [and] feral" to understand this, but I really don't see the connection.

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Jana814

Is she nuts!! Poverty is not a good thing!! I live @ home w/ my parents @ age 32 so I am not in poverty!!

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Knight of Ni

The martyr complex that some people have is amazing. They think that to live life in poverty is a good thing. It makes them more holy or something like that. However, after reading her blog entry it doesn't sound anything like poverty. Rather it sounds like they simply have to live within a budget. And they think this makes them not Middle Class. I wonder what exactly they think Middle Class is.

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Eternalbluepearl

Abigail, you keep using that word poverty. I don't think it means what you think it means.

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Jinger Jar

My guess is that somebody at daily Mass gave her the stink eye because of the way her kids were carrying on. Or at least she thinks they did.

She's done with the crazies... There's some delicious irony right there.

And Abigail? If you want to embrace a life of poverty, you should have discerned a calling to religious life a little harder before you married and had children. Poverty can be Christ-like to grown, emotionally and spiritually mature adults. On the other hand, it's hell on kids.

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pixydust
Christ, it's like Chris Jeub with a rosary. They both walk such a weird line to justify their lifestyles, while demonstrating that they are completely divorced from reality. As usual, Abigail thinks about no one but herself.

On the one hand, she put a lot of time and effort into developing a career that could give her children TONS of opportunities-for education, for outside activities, you name it. But she chooses to live in "poverty" instead, and just look at all the things she has sacrificed: her son's soccer lessons, computers for her kids, dinners out for the family, etc.

On the other hand, her definition of poverty is a freaking joke. She spends $60 A MONTH renting a cello, which would be a ridiculous expense for a truly impoverished person. And if she has $60/month to blow on a cello, why not set it aside for a few months and buy one? There are tons of listings on ebay for cellos that are <$500. Plus she has $400 extra sitting around for swim camp in the summer. It's great that her kids get to do something they enjoy like that, but again, people in poverty do not have hundreds of dollars for swim camp.

Abigail's definition of poverty includes having to buy cheap Christmas gifts, and in her world "not having money for food" results from having spent all her money on concessions. If she truly had to wonder where her kids were getting their next meal from, if she didn't know how to keep the heat running in the house, if she didn't even know whether they'd have a house next month...that is getting closer to poverty by Western standards. So aggravating.

QFT. Abigail doesn't live in poverty, she lives with bad choices. She chooses to not budget properly and to make excuses for her craptastic decisions. Living pay check to pay check is not poverty, I know, it's how we have always lived. I certainly don't have $400 for camp in the summer, but I don't consider us living in poverty. We have food, a house, 2 vehicles that run (even though I will need something else when tax time comes, hello craigslist!), heat, and internet....not poverty Abigail! We are better off then a lot of people. If Abigail would make better decisions, they wouldn't have to worry about food and heat.

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Aisling

She's full of bullshit.

I want to have a good rant about this, but i don't even have the energy in the face of such twattishness

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emmyfair

Hmmm, when I was six years old, wearing hand me downs that didn't fit and boots with holes in the bottoms of them, eating a frozen peanut butter sandwich from the school deep freeze cause I didn't have a lunch to bring again and being damn grateful about it as I didn't know where my next meal was coming from ... I didn't think poverty was so fun. And to think, there are millions of people in this world so much worse off than I ever was. Either my six year old perspective is off, or Abigail is a total dumbass...

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Koala

I think Abigail's family is suffering from Abigail induced poverty.

I'd go to our only local coffee shop --which does NOT sell good coffee (only burnt) and overpriced stale baked goods, and spend money we didn't have, eat stuff that tastes worse than I could make at home,

For example, I often grab a $3 Nice Chocolate Bar while shopping at Target without thinking about it because "It's been a hard day and I deserve a treat."

that was a totally different experience from my husband saying I think you should spend $125 (which is a week's worth of groceries for my family) to go to fencing lessons." It felt really hard and weird to quote "take" that money from my family for my lessons--and the only reason I could do it was because I'd urged my husband to buy a fishing license and new pole two weeks before.

Do you know what it means when your husband gives you $60 a month to rent a cello

Swim Team costs $400 each summer for our family

This is the same woman who fixes minor kid scrapes with $30 toys followed by a trip to the ice-cream shop and gobs of concession stand food. And then she complains about having to use her father's credit card or making $30 stretch for a weeks worth of groceries. Seriously, I believe she loves poverty...she chooses it at every turn.

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Aisling

Bloody hell, that's a dear bar of choccy!

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GeoBQn
I think Abigail's family is suffering from Abigail induced poverty.

This is the same woman who fixes minor kid scrapes with $30 toys followed by a trip to the ice-cream shop and gobs of concession stand food. And then she complains about having to use her father's credit card or making $30 stretch for a weeks worth of groceries. Seriously, I believe she loves poverty...she chooses it at every turn.

Now that you've listed all those quotes in a row, Abigail seems to acquire new hobbies with startling frequency.

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Koala
Bloody hell, that's a dear bar of choccy!

I know. My husband likes expensive chocolates, but I am in heaven with a Butterfinger or a package of

Reese's. They actually taste better to me.

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Aisling

I know. My husband likes expensive chocolates, but I am in heaven with a Butterfinger or a package of

Reese's. They actually taste better to me.

I love Reese's with an unholy passion. They only started doing them over here not so long ago, and once I got hold of my first packet, it was game over.

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Kaylee

Seconding this. I love those and my husband will eat about half a baking dish of them if I let him.

As far as Abigail, I'd hate to see what she's think if she was living in real poverty or just the daily crap cycle that is being on the lower end of middle-class for most people. She reminds me of my mom a little- there have been times when my family was living off grains and freeze-dried food (yay for being a crazy survivalist) for 2-3 weeks because we couldn't afford groceries and then my mom will talk about being broke and 2 days later be telling me about the clothes she bought at Belk or how they'll be gone for a week because they're taking off to Myrtle Beach again.

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Aisling

Although...is powdered sugar just icing sugar?:D

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Claddagh

My parents were flat broke when I was born. When I was five we were so broke Dad would go for two, three days on end without food so I could eat. I went to school without a lunch several times that year because we couldn't afford food.

My grandma lived through the great depression. She lived with her mother, two aunts, and her grandparents in a small house. They were barely scraping by. Her childhood best friend's father committed suicide because he couldn't provide for his family.

One of grandpa's best friends died from a treatible illness because the friend couldn't afford to see a doctor.

Poverty isn't this big glorious thing for everyone to strive for. Her writing really pisses me off.

Edited to fix a mistake.

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Spider Burps
Although...is powdered sugar just icing sugar?:D

Yus. I've totally made those "Reese's peanut butter bars" (I called it peanut butter fudge, though). They really are to die for, especially right from the fridge.

And, BTW, you people are totz discriminating against those of us who developed peanut allergies as twenty-somethings. I love me some peanut butter, but I can't have it anymore! :(

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lilwriter85

I agree with another poster who said that Abigail makes bad choices. I found a few other things annoying in that posting.

I give my kids an unlimited supply of the good stuff.

In my house, we have good music, good food and good conversation. We go to the park. We go to the library. We host parties at our house, and visit friends homes. We go to church! We take the spiritual life seriously. By not going shopping every four seconds, I have more time to teach morals, and talk about current events.

I don't know a lot of people who go shopping every four seconds.

I cook dinner.

We do not have money for pizza. I cook dinner for my family every single night--whether I'm in a cooking mood or not. We eat well! We eat better, yummier, healthier food than anyone I know. Why do I cook from scratch always, all the time--because I'm poor.

No, Abigail many people who aren't poor cook from scratch all the time or most of the time. I have seen other fundies say stuff like this about eating out or ordering pizza or takeout.

I rent a cello!

Do you know what it means when your husband gives you $60 a month to rent a cello, to play the instrument that you've dreamed of as a little girl, while he's a wearing thread bare work shirt? It means everything! It's the Gift of the Magi, every day. Being poor doesn't mean that you have "nothing!" It means that you have "few possessions" but the few possessions you have are deeply meaningful and of good quality.

I remember when I played the clarinet in middle school, there were rental options from a music store, but my parents and other parents ended up buying used instruments because it was cheaper and some parents thought it was good investment in case their younger kids or other relatives wanted to play instruments later on. But with Abigial's situation I don't think renting or buying a used instrument is good since they budget money poorly.

Poverty encourages you to try out talents you didn't know you had.

If we had money to send our kids to private school, I would have never started home-schooling. If we had money to hire an electrician, my husband would have never discovered he can hang a light. Money "buys you out of trouble", but so often what looks like "trouble" are really hidden opportunities to do God's will.

This annoys me because a lot of people who can afford electricians or other types of contractors, but they try to do as much DIY to save money or because they like doing as much home improvements as they can.

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Koala

One of grandpa's best friends died from a treatible illness because the friend couldn't afford to see a doctor.

We knew someone who died (in his 30's) because he couldn't afford his insulin and he didn't want to ask for help. No one knew until he died and left a pregnant wife and a house full of kids. Broke my heart.

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SunnyAndrsn

She has a very interesting definition of poverty.

After my grandfather committed suicide, my grandmother worked multiple jobs to keep food on the table. One of my uncles ended up living with his uncle to learn a trade, and for extra money. My mother told stories that the kids who were old enough were expected to work during the summer to pay for their own school supplies. Grandma was terrified that she would lose custody of her children because she couldn't provide.

Mom told stories of how a garden wasn't something they did for fun, it was necessary for survival. As a result, when she married my dad, she kept it up. To her, it was terribly wasteful to spend money on things you could grow yourself. She was amazing at canning and preserving food, and it was her frugal ways that saw my family through some hard financial times.

We never knew hunger, as a farm family we always had plenty to eat. We didn't have designer clothes (even when they could afford them, again her frugal nature wouldn't spend money on stuff like that when it might be needed during harder times), designer shoes, went to public schools, and drove cars into the ground before they were replaced. All of our furniture was gifted by my grandparents. When I was in high school, it was a big deal for her to get new curtains for our living room.

We were never impoverished because of my mother's smart financial management.

Abigail, stop romanticizing poverty. There is NOTHING romantic about malnutrition or cold. Maybe you need to visit Uganda or another 3rd world country and experience actual poverty. If you can afford to rent a cello and swim team, you're not poor.

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