Nie's son tackles kid for comment about her

[lilwriter85]

Yesterday Nie posted about an incident in which her son Nicholas told her tackled a classmate who told him that his mom looked funny. I do have sympathy for Nie and her kids and I know other kids can be cruel to children whose parents are disabled or different. But NieNie seems happy that her son tackled another student and I honestly hope her kids don't continue to be violent if others make comments about her.

nieniedialogues.blogspot.com/2012/12/nicholas-in-decemeber-12.html

[VVV]

My father was a double amputee (one arm, one leg). I am sure that at times other kids noticed and said something to me, or asked, but I never did anything more than just explain about his accident. If any of us kids had responded with violence to comments about our dad, I can't even imagine what the consequences would have been.

[lilah]

I sympathize with NieNie for her injuries and for having people treat her differently but she needs to be an adult about this situation. I read annother blog post where a father used NieNie as a teachable moment for his daughter where he was trying to say she was just like everybody else on the inside and she just had a breakdown, even though the father was being very nice to her.

[lilwriter85]

I agree, NieNie needs to be adult about the situation and if similar situation happens in the future, it could be worse, if the other kid fights back. A poster on GOMI said that he/she wonders if teachers or administrators read Nie's blog. I think there is a good chance a few people who worked at the school read the blog and maybe the incident will be known to the kindergarten teacher.

[Koala]

I was happy and proud he stood up for me- even at six years old.

That's a heavy burden for a grown woman to put on a 6 year old little boy.

[shesinsane]

Way to raise the next generation of abortion clinic bombers, Nie. "Violence is wrong, unless I'm defending my mother" can easily lead to "Violence is wrong, unless I'm defending my faith" which leads to "violence is wrong, but not when those people are the victims" and then he starts planning to kill "abortionists".

I know the kid is only 6, but he's already learned if you're going to fight, do it when the teacher's not looking.

Nicholas said he tackled him and his teacher didn't even see him do it.

:doh:

[lilwriter85]

I haven't been able to find this posting on Nie's blog, but people on GOMI have discussed an incident in which Nie made fun of disabled person.

[Closed Womb]

Without any additional information about the incident, I would have to say that NieNie acted wholly inappropriately in this situation.

These kids are SIX. This is the thing: NieNie does look funny. Six year olds will make those kind of observations. Sure, a six year old does not have the inherent wherewithal to explain to another six year old that his mom was in a plane crash, or looking different does not make someone less of a person, but shouldn't the adult say something like, "Honey, next time that happens, tell your friends that mommy was in an accident and she can't help the way she looks; don't ever hurt someone over words again, okay"?

Americans live in a society that idolizes physical perfection; we also live in a society that seems to consider it appropriate to make fun of certain types of people (although this list is dwindling, thank Goodness.) Yes, sometimes a kid will make an observation that will include some judgement because s/he has overheard an adult (perhaps a parent talking about what an attention monger NieNie is :whistle:), but young kids should never be punished for noting differences.

That said, sometimes parents/adults are total assholes. I think if a normal 6 Year old says, "Mommy, that woman looks funny", it's abhorrent to dehumanize and say, "Don't stare at her. Don't look!", but fine to say, "It looks like she got burned." It's normal for a 6 Year old to say, "Mommy, that woman is fat", abhorrent to say, "Yes, she eats candy all day", and fine to say, "Yes, she is; people come in all shapes and sizes." Maybe NieNie should save her pride for when her kids stand up to an asshole adult?

Edited: because "less of a person" and "less than a person" are two different ideas.

[Terrie]

Congrats, NieNie, for failing to give your son any tools to deal with the situation except violence. Just wait until still he starts applying that lesson to other situations.

[lilwriter85]

After reading the Nie/CJ GOMI thread, I do wonder if the other boy said that Nie looked funny in a curious way rather than a cruel way. Either way, I don't think the tackling was justified and I hated how NieNie gloated over the fact that the teacher didn't see it. On a related side note, GOMIers have been noting that other members of Nie's family have been acting like assholes on Instagram, there was a picture of Charlotte playing with tape measure. Several people mentioned that tape measure isn't really safe to play with because of cuts and Nie's brother made an asshole comment. Instagram is the only social networking site where Nie gets called out on some of her BS. If she allowed comments on the blog, she would have gotten comments about her being wrong over the son's fight. I bet she did get emails about it though.

[pixydust]

Congrats, NieNie, for failing to give your son any tools to deal with the situation except violence. Just wait until still he starts applying that lesson to other situations.

This, exactly. Why hasn't she helped the kids come up with what they will say to classmates, etc about how mommy looks? It's going to happen again and again. I can't imagine the stress these poor kids have been under since the crash, I hope that they have counseling available to them, to help them deal with it all.

[lilwriter85]

Maybe this has happened, but I wonder if Nie has ever been asked her kids' schools to give presentations about being a burn victim. It is likely most parents at the school know about her and some have probably told her kids why she looks the way she does. She posted an IG pic of a mock election at her kids' school and from that pic, I got the feeling that she does spend a lot of time there. I'm not trying to sound mean, but i know some people think that Nie was beautiful pre-crash, but I don't think she was.

When it comes to counseling, it has been speculated here and on GOMI, that the Nielsons are against counseling. There is pic on Christian's IG of a flyer for a fear of flying support group and Christian's comment was "Seriously who teaches this class."

[OkToBeTakei]

This, exactly. Why hasn't she helped the kids come up with what they will say to classmates, etc about how mommy looks? It's going to happen again and again. I can't imagine the stress these poor kids have been under since the crash, I hope that they have counseling available to them, to help them deal with it all.

I hope so too pixydust.

Despite her many proclamations to the contrary nie has not accepted herself what has happened. I wonder if she ever will? That can't be easy. I think she believes that telling herself that her kids and husband love her no matter how her outward appearance has changed and whilst that is I hope true, the hard fact is that she does look different to the norm and if she does not admit that to at least her children they will never be able to agree even if the other child only says your Mum looks funny. They will feel they are letting her down.

[emmiedahl]

Children will ask and say the darnedest things. Not out of malice, but out of curiosity and merely stating the obvious.

A relative of mine was on blood thinners for a while and had some horrific bruising on his arms. A child commented on it at a supermarket and the mother tried to shush the child. Relative said, "No, it's okay. I am on medicine that makes my blood less likely to clot and then I fell this weekend while doing yard work. So my arms got a few bruises." The child then asked if his arms hurt and Relative said "They look a lot worse than they feel!" I am sure that afterward the mother spoke to the child about how it is not polite to point out differences.

Nienie is raising children who go nuts when her health issues are even mentioned. Not healthy at all. A lot of children will have questions and observations about her appearance, and it is something she needs to teach her children to handle.

[dianapavelovna]

I agree that Nie should have made it clear to her son that being violent with other people is never okay, and I think she should also educate her kids about how they can talk to people about her scars and ways they can respond to less-than-polite inquiries. But I can't fault her for being happy that he stood up for her and wasn't embarrassed of her. I'm no Nie fan, and she acts a fool plenty of the time, but this doesn't bother me much.

[pixydust]

I agree that Nie should have made it clear to her son that being violent with other people is never okay, and I think she should also educate her kids about how they can talk to people about her scars and ways they can respond to less-than-polite inquiries. But I can't fault her for being happy that he stood up for her and wasn't embarrassed of her. I'm no Nie fan, and she acts a fool plenty of the time, but this doesn't bother me much.[/quote

A 5 or 6 yo saying that someone looks funny because of scars covering her body isn't being "less than polite", it's normal. Yes, the child could have been trying to egg Nickolas on, or he could have simply been stating a fact. Nie Nie looks very different, most kids never run into someone covered in so many burn scars, and kids will have questions or comments. Unless the child was trying to be malicious, I see nothing wrong with what was said.

[B5SnowDog]

I read another blog post where a father used NieNie as a teachable moment for his daughter where he was trying to say she was just like everybody else on the inside and she just had a breakdown, even though the father was being very nice to her.

I kind of understand her reaction to that. It's rude to use someone else as a teachable moment without their permission. A person in a wheelchair at Starbucks isn't there to teach compassion and understanding, they're there to get coffee.

[lilwriter85]

Nie will never know if the kid was being cruel, unless she inquires to it. I think it possible as mentioned above that school employee reads the blog and the incident will be further looked into. I don't think Nie inquired to it, again not trying to be mean, but she doesn't seem like the type to deeply think about certain situations. I can see where NieNie is happy that Nicholas isn't embarrassed by her, but her being happy about the tackling is kind of disturbing.

[lilwriter85]

I was checking out Nie's instagram and one person commented on one of the pics regarding the Nicholas/classmate incident.

http://web.stagram.com/p/338574679835820806_7940911

[ @ ] lindzymarie Your post today was incredibly disappointing, Nie. I understand that it hurt Nicholas to hear those words from a classmate but his mother shouldn't be "proud" of his decision to attack when the teacher wasn't looking. Violence isn't how children (or anyone) should deal with conflicts and allowing your children to fight your battles sets them up for a very damaged relationship with you. 4d

[ @ ] lindzymarie You are the parent. Maybe a better alternative would be to talk to the children in Nic's class so they can ALL learn a valuable lesson about differences and how we should treat people that don't look like us. I understand the natural impulse to feel touched ON THE INSIDE about Nicholas standing up for you, but being proud and teaching him that there are no consequences for his bad actions is only going to hurt both of you down the road. 4d

@ ] lindzymarie You are truly beautiful though, Nie. And obviously incredibly strong and have so much to be proud of. I just think the better approach would be to tell Nic something like "I love you very much and I know you were just trying to stand up for me but getting in a fight it hurting someone is never the answer. That kid probably just didn't understand so next time maybe you can talk to him and explain to him how your mom is a survivor." You come away the superhero that survived a plane crash, not the mean mommy that cheers on her son's fighting. 4d

And a few Nie defenders commented

[ @ ] willow5kids Maybe she did @lindzymarie but didn't put the whole story on the blog. The mean mommy who cheers on her sons fighting? Seriously?

[ @ ] instarachelfry ^Blah blah blah :) love those angel wings you put up every year! 4d

[ @ ] meg_bigredclifford Regardless, @lindzymarie - it's not your child, nor your blog. 4d

I get the feeling that Nie didn't tell Nicholas that fighting is wrong. She is dim about a lot of things. Some of her fangirls are pretty annoying. They don't realize that there was always the chance the other kid could fought back and make the situation worse than it is.

[MamaJunebug]

Not snarking on the little boy. The top photo his mom posted immediately made me think of a child verdion of the bully in Napoleon Dynamite. He's "Don," about halfway down this page: http://www.socialtechpop.com/2011/03/1604/