Mormon Mommy blogs

[keeks21]

To the OP, there are a few threads on here discussing the top MM bloggers, also if you go to the Get Off My Internets Forum they are discussed alot as well.

I used to love to read MM blogs and I am the same, single, working full time and not religious. I kind of think that for me it was a bit of a "look at how the other side live" and I was fascinated with the perfect kids, homes and careers and I also love craft blogs. However the more I read the more I realised how fake it all was and behind the blogs were people that were peddling lies or selling crap for a quick buck *cough* designmom, sayyestohoboken, ohhappyday *cough*

I still read Cjane and Natthefatrat because I like they are real and don't hide behind the perfect molly mormon stereotype.

[guidedbybobafett]

This is sort of how I found freejinger. I had heard of it before I think through TWoP, but had never been here. Fast forward to me being obsessed with stay at home Christian mommy blogs. I think it's because my life is so different, I liked looking at their perfect houses, perfect children, perfect food etc. Once I started googling, fj wasn't far off. I didn't ever really connect with the deep underbelly of nonsense and horror until I came here and started reading. I still read the blogs, but now I'm mostly looking for cracks in the facade. This is what fj hath wrought.

[luckystone]

The Salon article makes the point that the Mormon mommy bloggers are like most mommy bloggers. What they present online is usually highly staged/stylized. Few mommy bloggers are taking pictures of a messy kitchen - unless it's in the process of posting a Pinterest-worthy baking tutorial! They're not posting pics of a living room with dusty furniture and toys all over the place, or children attired in dirty hand-me-downs. No, they're going to spruce up one room in the house and dress the kids in a nice outfit, and she'll go on a crash diet to look better postpartum. I have a (non-Mormon) friend who is a nascent mommy blogger now that she's a SAHM, and I've noticed that she's doing this stuff now, too - I've seen her house in its usual state and I've seen her family and her kids in their usual states! :lol: It's not that her house is usually messy or that her kids are unkempt, but if she's taking pictures for her blog she's putting on something nicer than yoga pants, she's doing her makeup, and she's making sure the clutter is picked up and the kids' faces are clean and clothes are matched and cute before she starts taking the pics to begin with. Most days they're not doing all these awesome craft projects and sensory play and all of that - but that's the impression you'd get from reading her blog. I think that aspect of it is pretty typical of homemaking/SAHM mommy bloggers in general.

It's obvious they are stylising it but still...some of the nice outfits/neatness/craft I could never manage even if I tried so hard!

I can't decide whether it's a good or bad thing to live like that. I actually think if it encourages you to clean up a mess for a while - even if just so you can take a photo for the internet - that's not necessarily a bad thing.

[YPestis]

I'm kind of realizing that my interest in Mormon bloggers is similar to what drew me to fundie Christian blogs like the Maxwells. They portray this idealized, retro family and wholesome lifestyle which is so different from what I've known. I just can't stop reading them.

Mormon mommy blogs are even more interesting because the women are mainstream conservatives, not fundies; they engage in fun activities, and talk about hobbies and interests that I have. And yet, the little details indicate they are a bit different from the average American family. They typically marry young, have multiple kids and share a strong emphasis on staying home and living a successful, traditional lifestyle. I agree that what's seen in the blogs are idealized versions of their actual lives. Some of these women have an eye for photography. They make the humdrum details seem more exciting and beautiful through their lens.

Still, our world continues to favor the breadwinner/homemaker dichotomy. I wonder if these Mormon mommies have an "easier" time because they actively choose such a well-worn path. The men limit themselves to lucrative professions, the females to artsy majors and spend their time searching for a husband who can provide. Then they have the kids and everyone falls into their designated roles. Seems so neat.

Life in my world is so messy. In med school, trying to decide when to marry and have kids is a major issue for many of us gals. We actively seek out female mentors to navigate this treacherous path. Guys also have it tough because they have to juggle their career choices against their spouses. What happens to them if the girl has a better job offer? Some struggle to fit in as a stay-at-home-dad among a sea of mothers. Others struggle as their wives stop working due to daycare costs and they find themselves unexpectedly the only breadwinner,

With less pressure to marry early, many of my friends spend years dating and breaking up. Instead of feeling pressured to "settle" for whomever appears appropriate because you want that "ring by spring", most of my friends delay marriage for career and for that perfect person. This only complicates our lives as we don't always find the right person, or the perfect job.

Just as with fundie blogs, the Mormon mommy blogs offers assurances that the messiness of life can be avoided if we reverted back to a "traditional" lifestyle where women looked pretty and men worked hard. There would be no work/life balance, no daycare costs, no confusion of gender roles. Even for career-oriented gals like myself whose own parents never provided that lifestyle, it still tugs at me that all my problems could go away if I just choose to live like those Mormon mommies.

Logically, I know that Mormon moms, with their stylish clothes, beautifully decorated homes, and lovely children also have concerns and worries. Husbands lose jobs, wives fight depression, children bicker and cause messes. They trade one set of problems in for another. Caring for a bunch of children at home carries it's own stresses. Having one provide causes it's own financial problems. And everyone worries if they are doing the right thing for their families. Still, I would love for these women to come and decorate my home and dress me!

All well, one can dream.

[SoybeanQueen]

It's obvious they are stylising it but still...some of the nice outfits/neatness/craft I could never manage even if I tried so hard!

This thread has only strengthened my resolve to start blogging again. However, I'm not going to style anything. I'm going to post what my house really looks like, what my kids are really wearing (or not wearing, as my 13 month old is practicing to be a stripper), and will be completely real about life on a farm with 5 kids. Let's just say my living room will not go viral on Pinterest.

[valsa]

Mormon mommy blogs are even more interesting because the women are mainstream conservatives, not fundies; they engage in fun activities, and talk about hobbies and interests that I have.

Having fun and hobbies doesn't mean they aren't fundies. Most are anti-choice, anti-gay marriage, the church itself spends a lot of money to legislate the religion's morality, they believe in limiting choices for their daughters (so they encourage college- big deal if they also strongly encourage their daughters to only work a few years (if that) before being forced to stay home and pop out kid after kid), and the religion is patriarchal. I don't see how they're not fundie.

Still, our world continues to favor the breadwinner/homemaker dichotomy. I wonder if these Mormon mommies have an "easier" time because they actively choose such a well-worn path. The men limit themselves to lucrative professions, the females to artsy majors and spend their time searching for a husband who can provide. Then they have the kids and everyone falls into their designated roles. Seems so neat.

Until you realize that Mormons are no less likely to get divorced than other Christian groups (and more likely than atheists or agnostics) but the Mormon women who do divorce have to struggle with having a ton of kids and job skills that are either out of date or non-existent. Not to mention the extraordinarily high usage of anti-depressants by Mormon women. Not so neat.

With less pressure to marry early, many of my friends spend years dating and breaking up. Instead of feeling pressured to "settle" for whomever appears appropriate because you want that "ring by spring", most of my friends delay marriage for career and for that perfect person. This only complicates our lives as we don't always find the right person, or the perfect job.

There is a grey area between "perfect person and/or perfect job" and "first guy who purposes to me when I'm 20 and/or no job" and it's rather large.

All well, one can dream.

Hmm... a patriarchal church that expects me to get some artsy degree I'll barely use, to get married very young, allows me to work only a few years before putting intense pressure on me to settle down and have a bunch of kids, says my husband is automatically holier than I am because he owns a penis, expects me to give them money even if I'm struggling to feed my children...

Seems like a nightmare to me.

Also, because it cannot be pointed out enough- this is how cons work (and yes, I consider the Mormon church to be a big con) They take people who are unhappy with the messiness of reality and work to convince them that whatever the conman is selling (in this case, the Mormon religion) has the ability to make them feel better and fix all their problems and unhappiness. Don't drink the Kool-aid, YPestis!

[emesbe]

Brandi is hilarious. I'm Facebook friends with her. :D So I'm special.

I don't keep a journal or a blog or anything. Cause I hate it. And I don't give a flip.

[Fargood]

They take people who are unhappy with the messiness of reality and work to convince them that whatever the conman is selling (in this case, the Mormon religion) has the ability to make them feel better and fix all their problems and unhappiness. Don't drink the Kool-aid, YPestis!

I totally agree with this. When I was a member, I bet a full half of the people I met who were investigating the church as potential converts were attracted to the church's imaginary product (Mormon life.) That's why there is so much pressure on Mormon women to perpetuate the myth.

A few months ago, we found out one of my children has a medical condition that he will have to manage his entire life. It was pretty stressful for the family and I was having a rough moment, so I called my Dad. We talked about how nice it would be to just be one of those churchy people who can shrug and say, "well, it's God's will" (or whatever cliche thing they tell themselves.)

Some religions prey on people who are at vulnerable times in their lives. Some people would say all religion preys on people, but I've hung around with some pretty liberal churchy peeps who don't seem to do that. Of course, I don't usually hang around long enough for them to discuss religion with me, so maybe that's why I've never experienced it.

[nokidsmom]

Until you realize that Mormons are no less likely to get divorced than other Christian groups (and more likely than atheists or agnostics) but the Mormon women who do divorce have to struggle with having a ton of kids and job skills that are either out of date or non-existent. Not to mention the extraordinarily high usage of anti-depressants by Mormon women. Not so neat.

I read an article on Mormonism sometime back that the divorce rate among Mormons was pretty much the same as other Christians.

My sister in Utah has known a number of LDS who got or have gotten divorces. There was one that was actually initiated by the wife, around the time the last kid got married.

ETA: So the extreme emphasis on the traditional family model (husband the breadwinner / wife at home with kids) does not necessarily translate into a lower divorce rate or a lower occurence of second marriages.

[DarkAnts]

I read an article on Mormonism sometime back that the divorce rate among Mormons was pretty much the same as other Christians.

My sister in Utah has known a number of LDS who got or have gotten divorces. There was one that was actually initiated by the wife, around the time the last kid got married.

There is the problem if you had a temple marriage. Its hard to get "unsealed" unless there was abuse or infidelity.

[valsa]

I read an article on Mormonism sometime back that the divorce rate among Mormons was pretty much the same as other Christians.

My sister in Utah has known a number of LDS who got or have gotten divorces. There was one that was actually initiated by the wife, around the time the last kid got married.

Yeah, everything I've read puts the level of Mormon divorce at about 24%, which is normal for Christian groups. Which means that even if they look more wholesome, traditional, and stable that other Christian married couples, they're really not. And apparently they're less stable, marriage-wise, than atheists and agnostics (21% divorce rate)

[nokidsmom]

There is the problem if you had a temple marriage. Its hard to get "unsealed" unless there was abuse or infidelity.

Yes, I read a number of stories by former LDS women (exmormon.org) that stated the difficulties of getting "unsealed" from the first marriage. I remember a story about a young woman who left the marriage very early and wanted to be "unsealed" so she could be sealed to a future spouse. It was pretty much impossible, IIRC, and that was behind her leaving the church.

[B5SnowDog]

I totally agree with this. When I was a member, I bet a full half of the people I met who were investigating the church as potential converts were attracted to the church's imaginary product (Mormon life.) That's why there is so much pressure on Mormon women to perpetuate the myth.

I know someone who converted recently and I think the shiny happy people front is what drew her to the LDS church. She's bought into the "if I tithe the full 10%, Heavenly Father will bless me!!" mindset even though she's going through some hard financial times. Frankly, it worries me.

[Fargood]

I know someone who converted recently and I think the shiny happy people front is what drew her to the LDS church. She's bought into the "if I tithe the full 10%, Heavenly Father will bless me!!" mindset even though she's going through some hard financial times. Frankly, it worries me.

My Dad and I were talking the other day about stress management. And I commented how nice it must be to be one of those people that can just say, "oh, the Lord will protect me!" No matter how stupid the choices they make or how fucked up their stuff is, they just can cloak themselves in a foggy protective blanket of faith. My Dad calls it "Jesus doom-proofing." They doom-proof their life by just putting it all in "God's hands."

My life would be friggin awesome if I could shrug and say, "oh well, God will protect me" or whatever. But I just can't do that. I don't believe in it and no matter how stressful things get, I never will.

[valsa]

I know someone who converted recently and I think the shiny happy people front is what drew her to the LDS church. She's bought into the "if I tithe the full 10%, Heavenly Father will bless me!!" mindset even though she's going through some hard financial times. Frankly, it worries me.

My childhood best friend stopped associating with me completely after converting to Mormonism but, shortly before she cut off all contact (when she was newly converted), I did get the chance to ask why she chose the Mormon religion. Her biggest reason was that they got to her while she was vulnerable. She had just moved half-way across the country to a state she had no friends or family in, she was isolated and having trouble meeting new people, and she'd always been prone to depression. She was at a low point in her life and the Mormon missionaries who came to her door basically sold it to her that her life would become perfect if she'd just join the church.

[lilwriter85]

A few months back on the C.Jane/NieNie thread on GOMI, there was a poster who said she was considering converting to LDS. She said that she liked the strong community attitude of the LDS church. Other posters who are ex-Mo or know active Mormons posted that the LDS church isn't all it is cracked up to be. The poster then said the reason she wants to become LDS is because she is Catholic and that her parish isn't very social outside of Mass.

Some of Mormon mommy bloggers and non parent Mormon bloggers often show an LDS as a very social community. But after awhile it becomes pretty obvious that some of the bloggers don't have a lot of non-LDS friends.

[B5SnowDog]

My life would be friggin awesome if I could shrug and say, "oh well, God will protect me" or whatever. But I just can't do that. I don't believe in it and no matter how stressful things get, I never will.

I'm the same way. I look at people who are religious and the benefits they say come from prayer are the same benefits I receive from therapy.

My childhood best friend stopped associating with me completely after converting to Mormonism but, shortly before she cut off all contact (when she was newly converted), I did get the chance to ask why she chose the Mormon religion. Her biggest reason was that they got to her while she was vulnerable. She had just moved half-way across the country to a state she had no friends or family in, she was isolated and having trouble meeting new people, and she'd always been prone to depression. She was at a low point in her life and the Mormon missionaries who came to her door basically sold it to her that her life would become perfect if she'd just join the church.

I'm sorry about the end of your friendship. I am very grateful that the woman I know has maintained close contact with me. It's been a year, so I think that won't change.

[thekate]

A few months back on the C.Jane/NieNie thread on GOMI, there was a poster who said she was considering converting to LDS. She said that she liked the strong community attitude of the LDS church. Other posters who are ex-Mo or know active Mormons posted that the LDS church isn't all it is cracked up to be. The poster then said the reason she wants to become LDS is because she is Catholic and that her parish isn't very social outside of Mass.

Some of Mormon mommy bloggers and non parent Mormon bloggers often show an LDS as a very social community. But after awhile it becomes pretty obvious that some of the bloggers don't have a lot of non-LDS friends.

You say tomato; I say tomahto,

You say strong community; I say Big Brother...

[Jessica]

You say "strong community", I say "until you're no longer the new kid in the block and none of the cliques within the ward will let you in on their shindigz."

[Defrauding Errday]

One of the Mormon mommy blogs mentioned in the article was brought up in another blog I frequent that was talking about hipster-y couple blogs. I find both types of blogs fascinating, especially since these women are close to my age. They present the quaint ideal life, which is nothing at all like my life (unemployed and living at home). Even though I know the lives presented in social media don't tell the whole story, it still provides a sense of escapism.

[mockingbird]

One of the Mormon mommy blogs mentioned in the article was brought up in another blog I frequent that was talking about hipster-y couple blogs. I find both types of blogs fascinating, especially since these women are close to my age. They present the quaint ideal life, which is nothing at all like my life (unemployed and living at home). Even though I know the lives presented in social media don't tell the whole story, it still provides a sense of escapism.

Haha, my freshman roommate from college now has a hipster-y couple blog. It's very interesting because the persona she invented for herself on the blog is NOTHING like she is in real life. I mean, I know what the fundy bloggers write is not always reflective of what their life is actually like, but it was quite striking to see an example of that in my own life. Pretty funny, too, because her blog persona is basically the opposite of what she was like when I knew her.

[Closed Womb]

All good Mormons are supposed to keep a journal, it's a religious teaching. The Mormon cultural pressures to showcase your 'perfect' life meant that blogging took off in a big way among SAHMs and IIRC a couple of years ago the LDS leaders started to encourage members basically to use their blogs as a recruiting tool for the church.

I love Mormon Mommy blogs - all that hilarious fakeness! :lol: It's fun to look for the cracks in the veneer and imagine what's really going on behind those fixed smiles.

Also, I have to introduce FJ to Brandi who is nothing like your typical Mormon Blogger. She's a Mormon, she's a SAHM, and she writes one of the funniest blogs out there. Put it this way, the link below is borderline NSW.

thedouglassdiaries.com/2010/08/livin-lanisha-loca.html

First I've heard of her. Many thanks. Many.

[YPestis]

Having fun and hobbies doesn't mean they aren't fundies. Most are anti-choice, anti-gay marriage, the church itself spends a lot of money to legislate the religion's morality, they believe in limiting choices for their daughters (so they encourage college- big deal if they also strongly encourage their daughters to only work a few years (if that) before being forced to stay home and pop out kid after kid), and the religion is patriarchal. I don't see how they're not fundie.

I guess it's a matter of perspective. To me, the Mormon bloggers are more mainstream because they allow Harry Potter, colleges for girls, learning other cultures etc. Being prolife or opposed to gay marriages is not an indicator to me of fundie-dom because about half the country falls into those categories---I tend to label them under the generic title of "conservative". Fundies, to me, are people who are the conservative wing of the Right. I agree that Mormons share several beliefs with fundie families but they share more values with the mainstream conservatives. Then again, I live in a very conservative state and so my views may be skewed. I'm surrounded by people who think Obama is a socialist turning the country into China and creationism is a fact sworn by "good" scientists. :D

Until you realize that Mormons are no less likely to get divorced than other Christian groups (and more likely than atheists or agnostics) but the Mormon women who do divorce have to struggle with having a ton of kids and job skills that are either out of date or non-existent. Not to mention the extraordinarily high usage of anti-depressants by Mormon women. Not so neat.

I actual figured Mormons have a lower than average divorce rate because of cultural pressures to stay married but that divorce is far more devastating to the women. I have heard of the high antidepressant usage in Utah though. Makes one think.....

Hmm... a patriarchal church that expects me to get some artsy degree I'll barely use, to get married very young, allows me to work only a few years before putting intense pressure on me to settle down and have a bunch of kids, says my husband is automatically holier than I am because he owns a penis, expects me to give them money even if I'm struggling to feed my children...

Seems like a nightmare to me.

Also, because it cannot be pointed out enough- this is how cons work (and yes, I consider the Mormon church to be a big con) They take people who are unhappy with the messiness of reality and work to convince them that whatever the conman is selling (in this case, the Mormon religion) has the ability to make them feel better and fix all their problems and unhappiness. Don't drink the Kool-aid, YPestis!

Don't worry, I won't be drinking the kool-aid! I may or may not stay home with the future kids, but I have taken great pains to acquire an education and plan on using it in some capacity. I don't consider the Mormon church to be a 'con', at least not more than any other religion, but I think some of their attempt at scrubbing their image is "gimmick". People seek religion when they are stressed or upset. I think religion is a legitimate place to seek solace or spiritual guidance in times of need. However, I believe any religion that thinks they can make my worldly problems go away or provide me a happy life is lying. I don't intend on joining the Mormon church but I think reading the Mormon mommy bloggers is a form of escapism from my own life, even if it is highly stylized and posed!

[NurseNell]

sixsistersstuff.com is not so much a mormon mommy blog as it is a mormom mommy lifestyle blog but I am totally addicted. Their recipes are the stuff of nightmares (cooking your pasta in a crockpot for 4-6 hours is not exactly a time-saver!) and their crafts. . .well. . .see for yourself:

sixsistersstuff.com/2012/11/burlap-scrap-christmas-trees-tutorial.html

That pork loin recipe made with apricots sounds delicious, I'm going to make it next week.

[NurseNell]

No strong-arming involved---I think it's a combination of "everyone should keep a journal" teachings, and bored stay at home moms with too much money.

Mormon women are very big into scrapbooking also. Creative Memories was started by Mormons. Most, if not all, of the early scrapbooking publications were published by Mormons. The Mormons remain the main publishers and manufacturers of scrapbooking supplies.