Mormon Mommy blogs

[YPestis]

Anyone suckered into this new phenomenon? I remember reading an article here about the addictive nature of ormon mommy blogs and I realized I was part of a new trend. Nie Nie is one of the most popular of the Mormon mommy bloggers but there are plenty of others floating around. With the proliferation of blogging, mommy bloggers have become very popular. Within that culture, there is a growing cult following of Mormon mommies who post about the simple joys of domestic life.

 

These Mormon blogs invariably showcase young, beautiful, traditional families with multiple children living out the 1950's American Dream. There's the handsome, hard working dad with the high paying career. The beautiful mom, stylishly dressed and impossibly slim after five kids. Then there's the lovely children, all adorable and living out such wholesome childhood. The blogs focus on family life, happy marriage and looking fabulous seems so....Stepfordian, and yet I can't help but feel a twinge of envy there.

 

Here I am, a career female with no children reading these blogs about large, traditional family with such fascination. Perhaps it's just refreshing to see such functional, fun loving families together. Or maybe they portray a lifestyle so simplistic and in such contrast to my own, complicated life. Could it be that deep down, even liberal career gals like myself fantasize the stay-at-home domestic bliss? Or maybe the fascination is the same reason I watch the Duggars: it's a peek into another world so different from my own.

 

These Mormon families live lives so different from how I live, how I grew up, and their values are so different from my own....maybe I enjoy reading their blogs because it offers a form of escapism, like watching the Lord of the Rings films.

 

It seems my lurid fascination is also shared by some Mormons, because there's even a parody site that mocks these Mormon mommy bloggers (and supposedly written by a Mormon gal). Entitled Seriously, So Blessed, it highlights some of the hypocrisy and attitudes of the female Mormon culture.

 

Has anyone heard of this blogging trend? Does anyone else share this fascination with Mormon motherhood via blogging? Discuss!

[luckystone]

Can you (broken) link to some of the blogs you look at? Is it the ones in the article?

I like Hungry Runner Girl, but she's not really in your face about the Mormonism and it's mostly about running (which I try to use to inspire me)

I do get a bit jealous when I see these and I wish I was breeding already :( but I heard a kid scream in the supermarket today and it made me feel so much better about my life

[Seven Severn]

Anyone suckered into this new phenomenon? I remember reading an article here about the addictive nature of ormon mommy blogs and I realized I was part of a new trend. Nie Nie is one of the most popular of the Mormon mommy bloggers but there are plenty of others floating around. With the proliferation of blogging, mommy bloggers have become very popular. Within that culture, there is a growing cult following of Mormon mommies who post about the simple joys of domestic life.

These Mormon blogs invariably showcase young, beautiful, traditional families with multiple children living out the 1950's American Dream. There's the handsome, hard working dad with the high paying career. The beautiful mom, stylishly dressed and impossibly slim after five kids. Then there's the lovely children, all adorable and living out such wholesome childhood. The blogs focus on family life, happy marriage and looking fabulous seems so....Stepfordian, and yet I can't help but feel a twinge of envy there.

Here I am, a career female with no children reading these blogs about large, traditional family with such fascination. Perhaps it's just refreshing to see such functional, fun loving families together. Or maybe they portray a lifestyle so simplistic and in such contrast to my own, complicated life. Could it be that deep down, even liberal career gals like myself fantasize the stay-at-home domestic bliss? Or maybe the fascination is the same reason I watch the Duggars: it's a peek into another world so different from my own.

These Mormon families live lives so different from how I live, how I grew up, and their values are so different from my own....maybe I enjoy reading their blogs because it offers a form of escapism, like watching the Lord of the Rings films.

It seems my lurid fascination is also shared by some Mormons, because there's even a parody site that mocks these Mormon mommy bloggers (and supposedly written by a Mormon gal). Entitled Seriously, So Blessed, it highlights some of the hypocrisy and attitudes of the female Mormon culture.

Has anyone heard of this blogging trend? Does anyone else share this fascination with Mormon motherhood via blogging? Discuss!

One thing to keep in mind is that little of what you read on those blogs is real; it's just a veneer. These women and their families face a tremendous amount of pressure to look/act a certain way. The pressure to conform can be insane. Very little of it is genuine. Many, if not most of these people, are living lives of quiet desperation.

[Katiebug]

[link=http://www.salon.com/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs/]http://www.salon.com/2011/01/15/feminist_obsessed_with_mormon_blogs/[/link]

ETA: sorry, same link as the OP!

I'm a working mom and am a feminist and I'm fascinated by Mormon mommy blogs. The ones I read almost without fail follow the prototype of Boy and Girl go to BYU, where they meet and marry shortly after Boy gets back from his mission. They may have their first baby by graduation, although Girl usually manages to finish her degree. Boy typically ends up going straight to dental/medical/law/business school and somehow supports Girl and the family in the process. By the time I start reading the blog, he is either in postgraduate training or is working while she is "very blessed" to be a SAHM, popping out a kid every 2 years or so (she has either never worked or stopped as soon as the first baby arrived). They drive a late model minivan with all the bells and whistles, their house is spotless and looks like something out of a Pottery Barn catalog, and they're all impeccably dressed in fashionable yet modest clothing like Gap models.

The Salon article makes the point that the Mormon mommy bloggers are like most mommy bloggers. What they present online is usually highly staged/stylized. Few mommy bloggers are taking pictures of a messy kitchen - unless it's in the process of posting a Pinterest-worthy baking tutorial! They're not posting pics of a living room with dusty furniture and toys all over the place, or children attired in dirty hand-me-downs. No, they're going to spruce up one room in the house and dress the kids in a nice outfit, and she'll go on a crash diet to look better postpartum. I have a (non-Mormon) friend who is a nascent mommy blogger now that she's a SAHM, and I've noticed that she's doing this stuff now, too - I've seen her house in its usual state and I've seen her family and her kids in their usual states! :lol: It's not that her house is usually messy or that her kids are unkempt, but if she's taking pictures for her blog she's putting on something nicer than yoga pants, she's doing her makeup, and she's making sure the clutter is picked up and the kids' faces are clean and clothes are matched and cute before she starts taking the pics to begin with. Most days they're not doing all these awesome craft projects and sensory play and all of that - but that's the impression you'd get from reading her blog. I think that aspect of it is pretty typical of homemaking/SAHM mommy bloggers in general.

It's even more pronounced for the Mormon mommy bloggers because they're presenting their lifestyle as the best way to live - they want it to not only appeal to others, but to make sure that others of the same faith/demographic see that they're doing things "right". There's strong pressure to conform within their community and it has to look like their lives are perfect/idyllic even if they're really not.

There are a handful of exceptions. I've found a couple of Mormon mommy bloggers who have to work (and express how much they wish they could be at home, even if you get the sense they enjoy their jobs) or whose husbands are inactive in the faith. Or you'll find one whose house doesn't look catalog-perfect. It's unusual, though.

[Fargood]

One thing to keep in mind is that little of what you read on those blogs is real; it's just a veneer. These women and their families face a tremendous amount of pressure to look/act a certain way. The pressure to conform can be insane. Very little of it is genuine. Many, if not most of these people, are living lives of quiet desperation.

So true. I was raised Mormon and I can tell you so much about Mormon family life is totally superficial, even the "perfect" ones. It's all just a lifetime of Mormon propoganda spilling out in the form of a Mommy blog.

I could write a book in just this post, alone, about how ridiculous Mormon family life is. One of the things that drove me crazy about Mormon life was the random missionary drop-ins and hometeachers who just stop by without phoning first. Of course, an overworked, perpetually breeding mother's house is never clean enough. You can just feel the judgment oozing out of them when they walk in the door and spot the toys, the winter coats laying on the floor and the trail of ripped up construction paper from the unfinished craft project your children started, but never finished.

I always interpreted the constant stopping by as a subtle form of guilt-brainwashing. A Mormon woman is *never* really good enough. The Mormon church's hyper micro-managing of its members (tsk, tsk, Mrs. Smith, you're house might be clean, but do you have your year's supply of food saved up?) If you're house is clean and you have your food storage, then you aren't active enough in the church -- you find yourself suddenly called to be Relief Society President or church librarian or some ridiculous thing.

Mormon men aren't much better off. Even if the man does have a good paying job, once he's somewhat stable in his career and the wife is at home breeding more little Mormons, the husband is suddenly "called" to serve in the priesthood. These "callings" are really unpaid clergy positions that take almost as much time as a full time job. Husbands are gone nearly every night of the week. This leaves Mormon mothers and wives to essentially raise their children as single parents with the father acting as a figurehead. BTW, to be "called" to serve in a position within the church is considered a blessing and to turn down a blessing is ... well, it's just not done. When you're called to a position in the church, you're expected to do it.

When I was an active member, I remember being at the church almost EVERY DAY of the week for four straight years. Yep, you read that right. Almost every day. And I wasn't enough a very good member. I went to church and participated, because when you're raised Mormon, all your friends and family are at church, too. It's the social center of your universe.

I could go on here, but I'll stop. The perfection you see in Mormon mommy blogs is fake. I see pictures of my Mormon friends from high school and it makes me want to cry. They have too many children and you can tell the spark and intelligence and dreams of their former selves are gone. They are overworked and underappreciated. But you will NEVER hear a single one of them complain or hint at the truth of their lives. To do so would be Un-Mormon of them.

[Black Aliss]

sixsistersstuff.com is not so much a mormon mommy blog as it is a mormom mommy lifestyle blog but I am totally addicted. Their recipes are the stuff of nightmares (cooking your pasta in a crockpot for 4-6 hours is not exactly a time-saver!) and their crafts. . .well. . .see for yourself:

sixsistersstuff.com/2012/11/burlap-scrap-christmas-trees-tutorial.html

[nokidsmom]

I am not Mormon, so can't offer an inside view but my sister and brother in law have lived in Southern Utah for the last 15 years. At first it was a bit lonely for them as non-LDS folks surrounded by mostly LDS coworkers and neighbors. Plus they all seemed to have these happy, perfect family lives. However, as time has gone on, they have gotten to know folks who have turned out to be non-practicing Mormons or those have left the church altogether. The stories that they have told my sister and BIL have been very eye-opening about Mormon family life and the immense demands the church makes on their members and the stress it causes for families. There's a lot of unhappiness and stress going on in spite of putting up the "we are such a happy family" front.

[SisiL78]

To the Mormon/Former Mormon readers.... Could the higher ups in the church be strong-arming women into writing these blogs and portraying the perfection of Mormonism? It seems like these blogs are exploding in number just as all the television commercials and billboards about Mormonism were going up. I wouldn't be shocked if there was a concerted effort to get the wealthier and more "with it" Mormon mommies to blog and portray Mormonism as some sort of utopia.

[cgehrig]

Oh that is so true. I was raised Mormon, went to BYU, married a Mormon in the temple and then at 27 got the courage to leave both him and the church. (Now very happy remarried to my wonderful never-Mo husband). I remember growing up and always have to put on the "show" of everything being perfect. My mother still does that to this day, and bless her heart, she gets very upset if you don't just pretend everything is rosy and perfect. I alway remember her getting really angry and upset if we did not act like the perfect mormon family in front others. We always had to look perfect for church and if she did not like an outfit choice or hair style she would flip out. Anything less than displaying perfection was really not ok. It was an interesting way to grow up because when it was just us we were pretty laid back, but as soon as the home teachers, visiting teachers or church people showed up it was like the twilight zone.

My family caught some flack growing up because I only had sisters and my dad taught us that we could have careers and should use our education. If I had a brother I am not sure this would have been the case. We still put the image on. I went to law school and got married after my first year. I cannot even tell you the amount of pressure my ward put on me to quit school and just have children, being in law school was bad enough to the mommys and their husbands that were in my class had nothing to with me. It only got worse when I decided to become a divorce attorney. The pressure to conform is very real. After I left and got divorced (for completely separated reasons than this post) I saw one of those mormon mommys in the airport when I was with husband, then boyfriend, in the airport. The very first thing she asked me after saying hello was if I was still working. No joke. She then asked if my husband was my brother and when I said that he was my boyfriend she could not run away fast enough. I think that a lot of these girls are happy day to day, but the pressure on them is unreal and they have very few options in their life which can breed a lot of contention and result in weird competitive scenarios, like who can make the best craft and whose has the best dressed children. Their family becomes their only measure of value, so the image they portray is pretty important.

[Aisling]

I can see why it's seductive. Guess you can make anything look good with an iPhone.

It kind of reminds me of when I had DD I used to be addicted to all these attachment parenting/homeschooling hippy blogs. The mothers posted these pictures of their children looking all adorable and disheveled, digging vegetables, paddling in gurgling brooks, coming home to a big pot of carrot soup, getting in touch with their inner zen or whatever. I very much idolised and looked up to these women.

Then I met a bunch of them in RL. Well. They were lovely people, their kids were nice, normal kids. But they still ate in McDonalds, used disposable nappies as well as their beautiful handmade cloth ones, and really liked their alcohol (the mums not the kids :D) amongst other things

After I got over the shock, it was a relief. It taught me an important lesson about the internet/what's real and what is facade.

From what I gather about the Mormons though, this probably goes beyond omitting your love for a Chicken McNugget meal.

[cgehrig]

To the Mormon/Former Mormon readers.... Could the higher ups in the church be strong-arming women into writing these blogs and portraying the perfection of Mormonism? It seems like these blogs are exploding in number just as all the television commercials and billboards about Mormonism were going up. I wouldn't be shocked if there was a concerted effort to get the wealthier and more "with it" Mormon mommies to blog and portray Mormonism as some sort of utopia.

When I was leaving the church they were really starting to push the use of social media by members to promote the church. Image is everything to the church and the higher ups are very attune to this. I do know that things people post are monitored, if not by the church (for the more popular bloggers), but by the own members who may see the posts. I had a friend who was tattled on to the Bishop for a post she made about the veracity of church doctrines (it was pretty mild) and she was brought in about it. The church is a giant PR machine and a quick way to draw their ire is to do things that publicly go against their image of perfection.

[SisiL78]

When I was leaving the church they were really starting to push the use of social media by members to promote the church. Image is everything to the church and the higher ups are very attune to this. I do know that things people post are monitored, if not by the church (for the more popular bloggers), but by the own members who may see the posts. I had a friend who was tattled on to the Bishop for a post she made about the veracity of church doctrines (it was pretty mild) and she was brought in about it. The church is a giant PR machine and a quick way to draw their ire is to do things that publicly go against their image of perfection.

Sounds to me like its living in an upscale version of a totalitarian dictatorship..... I don't understand why anyone would want to live this way.

[Fargood]

I don't understand why anyone would want to live this way.

It's mind-boggling, isn't it? My next door neighbor is the Bishop of the local ward and even though I think they are great people, I have very little to do with them.

It's so hard for people who are raised that way. You're totally cut off when you leave the church. I was always a little bit of a problem child, so I don't think any one in my family was surprised when I didn't go to BYU and picked a liberal arts college instead. That was the watershed for me. I was done with the church after that.

[nokidsmom]

It's mind-boggling, isn't it? My next door neighbor is the Bishop of the local ward and even though I think they are great people, I have very little to do with them.

It's so hard for people who are raised that way. You're totally cut off when you leave the church. I was always a little bit of a problem child, so I don't think any one in my family was surprised when I didn't go to BYU and picked a liberal arts college instead. That was the watershed for me. I was done with the church after that.

It was hard for my sister who was finding herself surrounded by a lot of nice people but being non-LDS, she was an outsider to them, and it was painfully obvious. Now that a few of these same folks have left the church or stopped being active, she has gotten to be good friends with them since leaving the church diminished their social network.

Lot of them have left over issues in their own families that didn't conform to the Mormon ideal and they were getting hassled by their respective bishops over it.

[emesbe]

To the Mormon/Former Mormon readers.... Could the higher ups in the church be strong-arming women into writing these blogs and portraying the perfection of Mormonism? It seems like these blogs are exploding in number just as all the television commercials and billboards about Mormonism were going up. I wouldn't be shocked if there was a concerted effort to get the wealthier and more "with it" Mormon mommies to blog and portray Mormonism as some sort of utopia.

No strong-arming involved---I think it's a combination of "everyone should keep a journal" teachings, and bored stay at home moms with too much money.

[Fargood]

I think it's a combination of "everyone should keep a journal" teachings, and bored stay at home moms with too much money

I was thinking this, too. Although the church isn't above strong-arming its members, it doesn't really need to strong arm members to do this free PR stuff. The higher ups just suggest that "good Mormon mommies would do it this way" and BOOM the internet explodes with perfect Mormon mommy blogs. It's a race to the bottom.

[Jessica]

To the Mormon/Former Mormon readers.... Could the higher ups in the church be strong-arming women into writing these blogs and portraying the perfection of Mormonism? It seems like these blogs are exploding in number just as all the television commercials and billboards about Mormonism were going up. I wouldn't be shocked if there was a concerted effort to get the wealthier and more "with it" Mormon mommies to blog and portray Mormonism as some sort of utopia.

lds.org/ensign/2008/07/sharing-the-gospel-using-the-internet?lang=eng

[ADoyle90815]

lds.org/ensign/2008/07/sharing-the-gospel-using-the-internet?lang=eng

I thought the higher ups had told members that a blog is a way to follow the "everyone keeps a journal" teaching, and with it being on the internet, it's a way to obey the "every member a missionary" rule as well. That is, as long as they don't make the blog private. I do read Mormon mommy blogs myself, but I'm not going to post broken links to ones that aren't mentioned here as those people would make their blogs private if they noticed a huge increase in traffic.

[Closed Womb]

I don't read Mormon Mommy blogs, but I am guilty of the idealistic portrayal of family life sucking me in. I met Mr. Womb when I was into the age of high-risk pregnancy, so I knew I did not want children (nor did he.) However, we both readily admit that if we had met each other earlier we would have certainly tried to have a family. When I see or read about the "perfect" families (such as the Duggars on the early specials), I do occasionally get a "what-if" daydream.

Then it passes.

[lilwriter85]

There is a Mormon mommy blog that I have been reading for awhile that is a bit different from other Mormon blogs. This blogger doesn't seem to be in love with her husband and other things seem off with her and her family. She and her husband moved from Arkansas to New York recently. Her husband was a Boy Scout troop leader at their previous LDS ward and he also had some kind of counseling role. She has two sisters who are bloggers, but only one of the sisters is also married with kids. That sister tries to portray a happy Mormon family most of the time.

[Sister_Wife]

I read alot of crafty blogs and while some are out and out mormon, I was surprised to learn recently that some of the ones I have been following for years are mormons too.

My favourite is Cjane, mostly because she is not the "typical" mormon mommy blogger image. She is in her second marriage, and writes all about her experiences in her first one, abuse etc. Infertility struggles, loves taking the piss out of herself, which I love because that is so Aussie and I can relate. Many accuse her of arrogance at her little vlogs, but I think I get it because it's the kind of humour Aussies love....

I also read Design Mom, aka Gabrielle Blair.

and her sister, Jordan Ferney at Oh Happy Day.

their sis in law is Liz Stanley from Say Yes To Hoboken.

Susan Peterson at Freshly Picked, who makes the most gorgeous moccasins for kids, We have a couple of pairs.

I used to read Nie Nie, until I found her sister Cjane, and realised that Cjane is so much cooler ;)

I also like The Progressive Pioneer and Make It and Love It.

[Deleted05]

I think it's a combination of "everyone should keep a journal" teachings

I thought the higher ups had told members that a blog is a way to follow the "everyone keeps a journal" teaching

This is an LDS thing? For everyone?

[snarktastic]

ADoyle90815 wrote:

I thought the higher ups had told members that a blog is a way to follow the "everyone keeps a journal" teaching

This is an LDS thing? For everyone?

All good Mormons are supposed to keep a journal, it's a religious teaching. The Mormon cultural pressures to showcase your 'perfect' life meant that blogging took off in a big way among SAHMs and IIRC a couple of years ago the LDS leaders started to encourage members basically to use their blogs as a recruiting tool for the church.

I love Mormon Mommy blogs - all that hilarious fakeness! :lol: It's fun to look for the cracks in the veneer and imagine what's really going on behind those fixed smiles.

Also, I have to introduce FJ to Brandi who is nothing like your typical Mormon Blogger. She's a Mormon, she's a SAHM, and she writes one of the funniest blogs out there. Put it this way, the link below is borderline NSW.

thedouglassdiaries.com/2010/08/livin-lanisha-loca.html

[pixydust]

All good Mormons are supposed to keep a journal, it's a religious teaching. The Mormon cultural pressures to showcase your 'perfect' life meant that blogging took off in a big way among SAHMs and IIRC a couple of years ago the LDS leaders started to encourage members basically to use their blogs as a recruiting tool for the church.

I love Mormon Mommy blogs - all that hilarious fakeness! :lol: It's fun to look for the cracks in the veneer and imagine what's really going on behind those fixed smiles.

Also, I have to introduce FJ to Brandi who is nothing like your typical Mormon Blogger. She's a Mormon, she's a SAHM, and she writes one of the funniest blogs out there. Put it this way, the link below is borderline NSW.

thedouglassdiaries.com/2010/08/livin-lanisha-loca.html

Wait,- she's MORMON? No freaking way! She is too damn funny!

[Jessica]

This is an LDS thing? For everyone?

lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=024644f8f206c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=96aa51e4b66fb010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____

"Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity.

Get a notebook, a journal that will last through all time, and maybe the angels may quote from it for eternity. Begin today and write in it your goings and comings, your deepest thoughts, your achievements and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. Remember, the Savior chastised those who failed to record important events."

Oh, and also, I can't stand CJane and her thousands of dollars worth of professional portraits of herself all over her blog. Talk about obnoxious!