New show, "My 3 Wives?"

[patsymae]

The uniformity among the women is kind of creepy, but two are twins and the other is their cousin, so it makes some sense. Also, the children are all genetically related through their mothers (first or second cousins) as well as their father, so it's probably easier for them to live like siblings--no Princess Mariah situations. On the show where they visited the Browns I got the impression that Kody felt inadequate (and thus defensive) when he saw how Darger leads his family.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I thought the dad came off better than he did on the Browns show. Less domineering. He ever said that the new son in law came from a community that had a male led hierarchy that he himself didnt find necessary. And he seemed gentle with his kids. Those wives look pretty good for having had like 8 kids each. They are definitely insecure and competetive with each other, BUT I think they really do love each other. To the point where their own reality show would be pretty darn boring. Unless new son in law became a regular character, because something is definitely off with him.

[Jana814]

I saw the show last night, I also got the impression that Joe was not a domenering person. I think the above person is right and the girl who got married (Amanda) is his Step-daughter, I wonder how many kids Val has w/ Joe and how many she brought w/ her to the marriage.

[gustava]

I didn't realize until the end of the show that the daughter (Melissa? Miranda? The getting-married one) was actually one of Joe's step-daughters. Perhaps that's why the creepy SIL didn't ask him for his blessing/permission/daughter's hand in marriage. Not an earth-shattering realization or anything, but I just thought it was sort of interesting to think about.

Also, I agree with others that the Dargers are much more palatable than the Browns. Joe Darger seems really drill sargeantish, but it does seem like his wives can at least tolerate each other, which is more than the Kodettes can boast.

They appear to tolerate each other because they are submissive to Papa Joe. If the "Principle of Plural Marriage" is to truly work, then the wive must sublimate their own individuality. I'd rather seem some spark, some spirit, in the wives. Isn't that what we keep hoping for from Janelle?

[DifferentGurl]

If they get their own reality show, it will end up like "The United Bates of America"...cancelled after one season. The Dargers aren't having any of the issues that they Browns are. So unless one of the wives confesses that she used to be a man or something else that is outrageous, their reality show wouldn't last that long.

Even then, I hope they don't get their own show because reality shows seem to be bad for marriages/relationships. I don't know how the Roloffs were before the show, but they always are argueing with each other. We know how things are on "Sister Wives" with the wives not as close as they were before. And of course, there's Jon and Kate's divorce. The only couple that I can think of that seems to be doing ok ( at least in front of the camera ) is JimBob and Michelle. Even then, the show seemed to have a toll on them and I'm sure they wll regret doing it once a few of the kids escape.

So yea, hope that if "3 Wives" becomes a show that it only lasts one season. Don't need to have TLC ruin another relationship.

[Closed Womb]

Weirded me out watching them all working out with Mr. Darger laying out the agenda.

Yes, also the fact that they feel like they can't miss workouts and that they admitted their jealousies are often appearance based (is she prettier, is she thinner?) It seems rather forced, like this is something he wants (and more control for him.) They might want it too, but in order to be competitive with their sister wives/sister/cousin. I don't know for sure, but if it was something they wanted because they enjoyed it, I would expect some individual preferences. I love to work out too, but I like totally different things than my husband (who rides his bike), my sibling (who runs), my friends...

I also agree with those who think the Darger wives have got the "keep sweet" thing down pat. I think they really believe their own BS, kind of like the Maxwells, in a way. They have convinced themselves that this patriarchal life is happiness. I think they function much better than the Browns, and they have a better public persona (albeit boring, which is why they won't have a long running TV show), but I think they are also presenting a well-honed pretense.

[Luvchild]

Yeah, Joe Darger seems like a control freak to me. Like all polygamist males really. Except his wives workout with him, for him. I think the wives wouldn't be so organized and disciplined if he weren't around and they weren't so busy competing with each other. They've definitely got the "keep sweet" thing down. Seriously, think about it, if one of the wives didn't work out, said "f*ck it," and stopped following the house rules, do you think Joe Darger would be fine with it? I don't think so. I think they all work out to keep up with the other wife in the next bed.

[Buzzard]

They seem to be much more under the fundamentalist spell than the browns are. Joe clearly rules the roost and the women are keeping their place under his wing. Not impressed... Unlike many of the other TLC families they seem to be doing quite well on their own and dont need the TLC teat to keep themselves afloat. They already have a book, their house seems adequate for their needs and is quite nice, they all have jobs.

I'm concerned about the daughter marrying into an even more fundamentalist community and that the only worry seems to be the snub that they didnt ask permission.

These people scare me.

[Ralar]

They don't kick the boys out. They do teach that you must have three wives to attain the highest heaven. It must be pretty psychologically devastating to realize there just aren't enough girls in the community to go around.

On last night's episode, one of the Darger girls married a young man from Centennial Park. He was very arrogant and rude to Papa Darger.

[Kitchen Princess]

Too lazy to go down stairs to the DVR for the last Sister Wives episode, I looked around for a video of it. Couldn't find it, but I found this one:

Are they really claiming they inspired Big Love?

[Buzzard]

Are they really claiming they inspired Big Love?

That seems to be the claim. Footnote 18:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Love#cite_ref-18

[Vex]

I don't have anything against poly relationships and families (aside from the obvious sexism inherent to religious polygamy), but it seems ridiculously squicky to marry twins AND a cousin. That's just too close to an incest fetish for my taste.

[Kitchen Princess]

That seems to be the claim. Footnote 18:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Love#cite_ref-18

"influenced" Joe Darger is full of shit.

[BlondeAgent007]

If they influenced big love then how come they are NOTHING like ANY of the characters? If anything, the Browns are more like Big Love than the Dargers. All different personalities of the wives, houses all in a row, obvious favoritism amongst wives, money woes, a jewelry business....

Dargers, well, they have 3 wives....

[HOTW]

I've seen the Darger women on several shows many years ago, at that point they never showed who the Husband was for fear of exposure(come on twin sisters?? kinda silly to worry) and they seemed to make the idea of polygamy work. They always presented themselves quite well and I guess since the whole muck up with the FLDS thye seem to be coming out more often to show th e"more positive" side of Polygamy. Don't have cable so I can't see the show so cannot comment on it, would appreciate any links if it does get posted to youtube

[VintageJen1984]

Also, I agree with others that the Dargers are much more palatable than the Browns. Joe Darger seems really drill sargeantish, but it does seem like his wives can at least tolerate each other, which is more than the Kodettes can boast.

Well two of Joe's wives are twin sisters, so they've literally been together since conception, and the other is their cousin. They probably get along better than Kody's wives because they got along BEFORE they met Joe.

[Cassia]

This is an old interview from 2007 or 2008. I always knew that I recognized Christine when I saw her on Sister Wives, and then I also recognized the Darger twin wives when I saw them on My Three Wives. Then it hit me, I had seen them all in an interview together a few years ago - and here it is. Sorry, I don't know how to imbed youtube videos.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OEaRn3uHsc

I find it quite odd that Joe "allowed" his two wives to do this interview for a documentary even though he was not willing to appear himself. One of the twins claims that the reason he will not appear on tv is because of the stigma attached to polygamy.

[AugustPenguin]

They also did an Oprah interview in 2008 & they were on Secret Lives of Women back in 2007. So they've been out in the public for some time now despite saying they've kept their lifestyle hidden all this time.

[greek_chorus]

The Dargers are not the inspiration for Big Love. I remembered listening to an interview with Mark Olsen and Will Scheffer years ago and they said the idea came to them on a road trip. I wouldn't be surprised if they read about the Dargers but I'd hardly call them the inspiration for the show.

The 2:50 mark is when they discuss how they came up with the inspiration for the show.

http://www.npr.org/player/v2/mediaPlaye ... m=12421084

Mark Olsen (left) and Will Scheffer hit upon the idea of exploring the dynamics of the American family through a polygamous foursome shortly after the second George W. Bush inauguration. They say they were offended by political rhetoric about what makes a family.

These people are worse than the Browns and I can't stand them either. Janelle and sometimes Christine are the only redeeming adults between these two shows.

[veron1que]

I'm curious as to why FJers think there's always some enclave of polygamy but we never read about polyandry. If people are secular polygamists, certainly there are secular polyandrous families. Are they just more reserved, more private?

I would presume that polygamy is more regularly practiced because of the patriarchal system in place. In many parts of Africa and the middle east polygamy is legal and is viewed as a statement of class. A wealthy man is able to afford more wives, and children, they help him expand his estate.

Polyandry is definitely more rare, but I also think because polyandry isn't rooted in religious doctrine or historical traditions (especially in the US) it's more likely to be less strict. Women who seek that lifestyle may be poly-amorous, or not enforce an uneven standard among consensual partners. So their male partners can also have additional partners, so it wouldn't be strict polyandry. I think secular polyandry is found in a more liberal crowd.

I also think the perspective of a woman's sexuality is more likely to be dismissive of such a relationship. I think a man having multiple longterm partners seems far more acceptable to the average individual, than a women with multiple partners.