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If a Maxwell girl ended up with nonfundie....


YPestis

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I was pondering this while perusing their blog. Anna just turned 20. Sarah is 31. At some point, Steve must realize having unmarried daughters is a liability to his "ministry". I figure he may grudgingly permit one or two of his daughters to marry, if only because everyone, including Teri, could no longer provided excuses for the girls' single state. At some, it would be an embarrassment.

 

Anyway, imagine they find a suitable fundie hubby. On the surface, he is devout, fundie, amiable to Maxwellian Thinking. Then maybe something happens. The guy realizes the entire thing is crazy. Maybe he meets up with a mainstream Christian group, or a beloved brother comes out. The point is, the guy realizes the cray-cray that is fundie-land and absconds. Slowly, he introduces television and rock music, even pants! He decides public school is good for the kids and so is Halloween and Santa Claus!

 

Now, the good fundie Maxwell girl is suppose to follow the husband, right? What do you think Steve will do? Does he counsel his daughters to go all feminazi on the hubby and dump him and leave with the kids? Does Steve tell her to pray for his soul but meekly submit? Does Steve isolate that daughter and the grandkids, not permitting them to socialize with the Mothership for fear of contaminating the other grandkiddos?

 

Of course, all this is contingent on Steve allowing his daughters to marry. Then again, one of his sons could end up with a girl who is far more mainstream, who stands up to Steve and his craziness and/or who decides to leave the cultish lifestyle and contaminates the grandkids with that thinking. This isn't Saudi Arabia so Steve has no (legal) power over any of his adult children or in-laws. I look forward to a day when someone tells off Steve that he's crazy and instead of Bible Study, everyone should come over for a Halloween party.

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Does Steve isolate that daughter and the grandkids, not permitting them to socialize with the Mothership for fear of contaminating the other grandkiddos?

I think this one. In addition to being "shunned," the daughter and her family would probably never be mentioned again on the blog. If any of their "fans" asked about the daughter, Steve might say that her husband had "led their family down a different path." It would be tough for him to address the subject at all, as he wouldn't want to admit that one of his hothouse flowers had gone astray, but even he might realize how bad it would look to ignore questions about her.

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I was pondering this while perusing their blog. Anna just turned 20. Sarah is 31. At some point, Steve must realize having unmarried daughters is a liability to his "ministry". I figure he may grudgingly permit one or two of his daughters to marry, if only because everyone, including Teri, could no longer provided excuses for the girls' single state. At some, it would be an embarrassment.

Anyway, imagine they find a suitable fundie hubby. On the surface, he is devout, fundie, amiable to Maxwellian Thinking. Then maybe something happens. The guy realizes the entire thing is crazy. Maybe he meets up with a mainstream Christian group, or a beloved brother comes out. The point is, the guy realizes the cray-cray that is fundie-land and absconds. Slowly, he introduces television and rock music, even pants! He decides public school is good for the kids and so is Halloween and Santa Claus!

Now, the good fundie Maxwell girl is suppose to follow the husband, right? What do you think Steve will do? Does he counsel his daughters to go all feminazi on the hubby and dump him and leave with the kids? Does Steve tell her to pray for his soul but meekly submit? Does Steve isolate that daughter and the grandkids, not permitting them to socialize with the Mothership for fear of contaminating the other grandkiddos?

Of course, all this is contingent on Steve allowing his daughters to marry. Then again, one of his sons could end up with a girl who is far more mainstream, who stands up to Steve and his craziness and/or who decides to leave the cultish lifestyle and contaminates the grandkids with that thinking. This isn't Saudi Arabia so Steve has no (legal) power over any of his adult children or in-laws. I look forward to a day when someone tells off Steve that he's crazy and instead of Bible Study, everyone should come over for a Halloween party.

I think the situation you described is exactly why the girls are not going to marry, at least not until after Steve passes. I think the Maxwell girls are being programed a la 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:

New International Version (NIV)

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

ETA: My apologies for not quoting the only proper version of the Bible, the KJV :roll:

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Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.â€

“‘I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false.

They'd divorce.

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I think Steve will marry off Anna and Mary. He probably knows that it does look bad for the titus2 ministry that Sarah hasn't been married. I think he will focus on marrying the other two off. Mary is the best looking Maxwell daughter and I bet there are some fundie families are eyeing her for their sons.

I get the feeling that one Maxwell kid will somehow leave the fundie lifestyle. In the scenairo that YPestis mentioned of the girls finding a fundie husband and then husband realize the lifestyle is crazy, I can picture Steve meddling in the situation trying to correct his son-in-law. I have a crazy hope that Christopher Maxwell will eventually realize how controlling Steve was with him and he and NR Anna become mainstream and Chris becomes an EMT.

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Guest Anonymous

The only sort of situation I could see happening is if a young fundie man came to live on the compound, where Steve could mentor him into the ways of Maxhell. Someone like Jon the Goober bringing his irrigation business to Kansas, maybe? Which would bring an additional source of income into the compound, with Steve perhaps worming his way in as a senior partner and having 'ownership' of his new son-in-law.

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Guest Anonymous
The only sort of situation I could see happening is if a young fundie man came to live on the compound, where Steve could mentor him into the ways of Maxhell. Someone like Jon the Goober bringing his irrigation business to Kansas, maybe? Which would bring an additional source of income into the compound, with Steve perhaps worming his way in as a senior partner and having 'ownership' of his new son-in-law.

Emphasis on the "worm" part.

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The only sort of situation I could see happening is if a young fundie man came to live on the compound, where Steve could mentor him into the ways of Maxhell. Someone like Jon the Goober bringing his irrigation business to Kansas, maybe? Which would bring an additional source of income into the compound, with Steve perhaps worming his way in as a senior partner and having 'ownership' of his new son-in-law.

Yeah. In Japan there's the concept of 婿養子(muko youshi) which is like "adopted groom," basically the groom marries into the bride's family instead of the usual way around. He takes on her family name and joins her family register, and so inherits whatever family business. (Married people must both have the same legal last name and be on one or the others' family registers.)

It's a way to carry on your family name when you have only girls, or to have someone to carry on your family business if you assume your daughters can't do it.

I've long thought that if this were more of a "thing" in the US, ol' Steve-O would be quite interested!

As for the "what if a Maxwell girl found herself married to a worldly guy" question, I don't know but it reminded me that I have in fact read some random blogs over the years where it's the wife that is more obsessed with the whole patriarchal fundie homeschooling frumper lifestyle, the husband is still quite religious but just not into that whole lifestyle thing, he asks her to send the kids to school so she get a job (ZOMG the horror!!) and there is angst, so much angst, about how well, she needs to follow her husband in all things but he's just not ordering her to submit the RIGHT WAY... "I want my husband to require me to be a stay-at-home homeschooling mommy of many but he wants the kids in school, this is not what I imagined."

But that's always the rub, I guess, if you sign up for living in a dictatorship the whole problem is you don't get to handpick the dictator!

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Giving up control of his daughters must be very difficult for Steve. Well giving up control of anything must set Steve's head to spinning. I seriously doubt any of the girls will be married. After Steve and the wife are gone the girls will be shipped off to their brothers families where they will become almost sister wives, raising nieces and nephews, endlessly washing cabinets and discussing the merits of plastic spring coil binding versus metal.

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I think there are two ways the women will marry: 1) Steve wakes up and realizes the error of his asinine, non-biblical ways or 2) One of the women decides to leave.

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Giving up control of his daughters must be very difficult for Steve. Well giving up control of anything must set Steve's head to spinning. I seriously doubt any of the girls will be married. After Steve and the wife are gone the girls will be shipped off to their brothers families where they will become almost sister wives, raising nieces and nephews, endlessly washing cabinets and discussing the merits of plastic spring coil binding versus metal.

This is what I see for the daughters as well. Even if Steve realizes that having unmarried daughters at home doesn't help his ministry he will not give up control. The need to be in control of his family will override everything else. And the girls are unable to force the issue because they cannot see how their dad has fucked up their lives.

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This is what I see for the daughters as well. Even if Steve realizes that having unmarried daughters at home doesn't help his ministry he will not give up control. The need to be in control of his family will override everything else. And the girls are unable to force the issue because they cannot see how their dad has fucked up their lives.

To the bold: Steve will biblically justify his daughters staying home. He can rationalize anything to his captive audience.

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To the bold: Steve will biblically justify his daughters staying home. He can rationalize anything to his captive audience.

This. I am expecting a Parent's Corner any day now in which Steve will argue (1) that it is better for someone to remain unmarried than to marry an unrighteous person (because their very salvation is on the line!), (2) that one of the side effects of living in the secular, sinful society that we do is that there are not many truly righteous men out there of marriageable age, and (3) thus it is better for his daughters to stay under his protection than marry someone who is not godly enough. Insert predictable quotes from Paul about it being better to be unmarried and some of the verses quoted by the previous posters and -- VOILA! -- all is justified and rationalized.

Steve Maxwell is nothing if not predictable.

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I just wanted to add that the middle daughter looks very awkward on the family website, but in reality she is very beautiful. All three are stunningly beautiful girls and seem to have that docile sweetness that fundie men love.

After meeting them, I realized that there is no way they have been without marriage proposals. Steve has been turning away suitors, probably without telling the girls about it. They are a 10 in the fundie world.

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Guest Anonymous

I wonder how the Munck episode has affected the girls' (and indeed the reversal boys' chances of marriage?

Steve took the girls with him to the Duggar graduation earlier in the year and seemed to be vaguely willing to mingle with the Gothardites, at least for the sake of peddling the family wares. Now that Liz has publicly dumped Joe, and the Munck family has taken themselves off to every fundie Royalty conference going in the aftermath of that breakup, the word must have been spread quite widely about the reasons they allowed Liz to save herself from an eternity in the Maxhell compound.

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I wonder how the Munck episode has affected the girls' (and indeed the reversal boys' chances of marriage?

Steve took the girls with him to the Duggar graduation earlier in the year and seemed to be vaguely willing to mingle with the Gothardites, at least for the sake of peddling the family wares. Now that Liz has publicly dumped Joe, and the Munck family has taken themselves off to every fundie Royalty conference going in the aftermath of that breakup, the word must have been spread quite widely about the reasons they allowed Liz to save herself from an eternity in the Maxhell compound.

I've wondered about this, too. From what we've heard from fundies who have been open to answering questions on this site, the Maxwell family is seen as cultish and extreme by a lot of other fundie families. I could see fathers being worried about marrying their daughters off to Maxwell sons who are still clearly within the thrall and power of their father, an extreme, cultish type of figure. I mean, the Maxwell sons have bought houses within a mile or two of the main "compound." And, their notable lack of extensive contact with any other families is troublesome. It would definitely give me pause if I were a fundie dad. "What, exactly, is my daughter marrying into here?"

Also, as so many other people have noted, the Maxwell blog is just so strange and stilted and weirdly devoid of joy or meaningful contact with other families. Say what you will about any of the other families we follow on this board, but you can detect real joy and *gasp* fun at times in their blogs. They seem like human beings. The Maxwells don't. I'm surprised the Muncks even got to the courtship phase. Hadn't they done their due diligence and read the Maxwells' site? It really speaks for itself.

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I just wanted to add that the middle daughter looks very awkward on the family website, but in reality she is very beautiful. All three are stunningly beautiful girls and seem to have that docile sweetness that fundie men love.

After meeting them, I realized that there is no way they have been without marriage proposals. Steve has been turning away suitors, probably without telling the girls about it. They are a 10 in the fundie world.

Wow, that is indeed interesting. I did wonder about that. They are attractive girls and I would think it highly unlikely that they wouldn't have fundie guys interested in them.

If Steve is turning down suitors, the message of "don't bother trying" is bound to get around within fundie circles over time.

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This. I am expecting a Parent's Corner any day now in which Steve will argue (1) that it is better for someone to remain unmarried than to marry an unrighteous person (because their very salvation is on the line!), (2) that one of the side effects of living in the secular, sinful society that we do is that there are not many truly righteous men out there of marriageable age, and (3) thus it is better for his daughters to stay under his protection than marry someone who is not godly enough. Insert predictable quotes from Paul about it being better to be unmarried and some of the verses quoted by the previous posters and -- VOILA! -- all is justified and rationalized.

Steve Maxwell is nothing if not predictable.

You're probably right. As questions regarding Sarah's single status pile up, that's exactly what Steve will do. In fact, I bet that's what he tells his children all the time. I wonder what the younger girls think about their possible future. Do they see Sarah and wonder if that's also in their future?

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If any of the Maxwell girls marry, I think it would be a break for them since I don't think that any family is as fundie as Steve wants the Maxwells to be.

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This. I am expecting a Parent's Corner any day now in which Steve will argue (1) that it is better for someone to remain unmarried than to marry an unrighteous person (because their very salvation is on the line!), (2) that one of the side effects of living in the secular, sinful society that we do is that there are not many truly righteous men out there of marriageable age, and (3) thus it is better for his daughters to stay under his protection than marry someone who is not godly enough. Insert predictable quotes from Paul about it being better to be unmarried and some of the verses quoted by the previous posters and -- VOILA! -- all is justified and rationalized.

Steve Maxwell is nothing if not predictable.

Ok for the women, but what excuse can Stevie use for 3 adult unmarried sons at home. :think: Jesse is still to young. John should be very close to purchasing a home and able to provide for a wife. Joe now owns a home and can provide given the evidence of a broken engagement. Why did it take Chris until the age of 31 to find a woman? If these sons are not married within the next 5 years or so, then Steve is a failure. Even with a "shortage" of men, he should be able to find a husband for at least ONE of his three daughters. Anna is now 20. She is fully ready for marriage (fundie standards).

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It would be interesting to see what would win out out of being fundie and following your husband.

I wonder if they'd just shun the daughter but not make it obvious.

On the other hand, this might be why he's keeping them unmarried, and is perfectly able to do that. If he picks a guy he will probably pick someone very carefully - probably an extremely insecure guy who he can totally control.

Maybe in time of the girls and some of the boys don't get married they will just re-write everything and make up some excuse about how it's not good for them and they have a higher purpose blah blah

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It would be interesting to see what would win out out of being fundie and following your husband.

I wonder if they'd just shun the daughter but not make it obvious.

On the other hand, this might be why he's keeping them unmarried, and is perfectly able to do that. If he picks a guy he will probably pick someone very carefully - probably an extremely insecure guy who he can totally control.

Maybe in time of the girls and some of the boys don't get married they will just re-write everything and make up some excuse about how it's not good for them and they have a higher purpose blah blah

I truly believe Sarah will take care of Steve and Teri. There's little hope for her(sad to ay at 30!) that she'll snag a guy. She'll take care of Steve and Teri and then when they die she'll take care of the reversal boys kids(can't keep them straight other than Sarah)

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I wonder if Sarah even wants to get married anymore. I know she was raised with the belief that marriage and children are the ultimate goals for a woman, but she's been living the same life for so long that I wonder if the idea of leaving home and marrying freaks her out. She's so sheltered from the world that maybe the whole idea has become too scary to contemplate.

Or, she could just be resigned to the fact that it's probably not happening now that she's almost 31 and the pickings are slim.

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I wonder if Sarah even wants to get married anymore. I know she was raised with the belief that marriage and children are the ultimate goals for a woman, but she's been living the same life for so long that I wonder if the idea of leaving home and marrying freaks her out. She's so sheltered from the world that maybe the whole idea has become too scary to contemplate.

Actually that's quite possible. But if someone offered I'm sure she wouldn't say no.

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I wonder if Sarah even wants to get married anymore. I know she was raised with the belief that marriage and children are the ultimate goals for a woman, but she's been living the same life for so long that I wonder if the idea of leaving home and marrying freaks her out. She's so sheltered from the world that maybe the whole idea has become too scary to contemplate.

Or, she could just be resigned to the fact that it's probably not happening now that she's almost 31 and the pickings are slim.

I agree Sarah is very sheltered. I am sure she would make a good wife & mother. But I don't think Steve wants her to marry. He & Teri r going to need someone to take care of them in their old years.

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