Admire Your Man. He Might Forget You're A Woman.

[debrand]

I agree that couples should compliment one another. However, I wouldn't want to be with a person who needed constant affirmation.

As far as viewing your husband as manly...I'm not really certain what she means. If a woman forgets to assure her husband that he does indeed have a penis and is a man will he forget that she is a woman? Maybe he'll think that he has accidentally gotten involved in a same sex marriage?

Whether my husband compliments me or not, I would have to have had my brain removed to forget his sex and hopefully the same is true for him.

fascinatingwomanhoodak.com/2012/10/14/fwa-near-daily-encouragement-seeing-him-as-manly/#comment-3949

Manly

FW~A (Near) Daily Encouragement: Seeing Him as Manly

October 14, 2012 2 Comments

“If you don’t see anything manly in him, he won’t see anything womanly in you.†~ Mrs. Helen Andelin, from Page Fifty of Her Book The Fascinating Girl

The quote above is from the chapter “Admire Him†and is about how utterly, all-important admiring a man for his masculinity is. Don’t forget to really, sincerely express admiration to your husband today!

[ceg045]

For all their talk about how men are the natural leaders of families, governments, etc., fundie men certainly need a lot of things done for them in order to function at the most basic levels of society.

Can't see a woman's kneecaps without being consumed by thoughts of lust, can't maintain respect for his spouse without her constant affirmation of his strength and virility. My five year old cousin isn't this needy.

[Minerva]

As far as viewing your husband as manly...I'm not really certain what she means. If a woman forgets to assure her husband that he does indeed have a penis and is a man will he forget that she is a woman? Maybe he'll think that he has accidentally gotten involved in a same sex marriage?

I have the feeling it would do more harm than good to our relationship if I said "yep, still there" every time I saw my partner's penis, but that's just me.

[rock_girl]

I have the feeling it would do more harm than good to our relationship if I said "yep, still there" every time I saw my partner's penis, but that's just me.

I think you're supposed to say "so manly, so manly" and then swoon.

[debrand]

I think you're supposed to say "so manly, so manly" and then swoon.

:lol:

[Deleted05]

:lol:

I just snorted toothpaste up my nose.

[CrazySister]

As testosterone-driven and shame-on-ye-born-with-a-vagina as patriarchy is, this advice strikes me as so demeaning and patronizing towards men.

[YPestis]

I often think fundie women who think that their man needs these constantly affirmations are just backlash against the rise of feminism, the swapping of gender roles. They probably feel threatened by the idea that women can provide and men can nurture. Fundie women who constantly harp on the segregation of gender, the importance of submission and dominance of men are doing it to reaffirm their own understanding of the world.

[mkitten]

I'm pretty sure that my husband would feel insulted if I suddenly started trying to do everything for him. He's not a child, he's an adult who is perfectly capable of making his own damn lunch.

[Minerva]

As testosterone-driven and shame-on-ye-born-with-a-vagina as patriarchy is, this advice strikes me as so demeaning and patronizing towards men.

I'm no expert on the history of fundy marriage advice, but it wouldn't surprise me if this "men are sensitive, insecure creatures so don't fuck up your husband" type of advice was a recent development in response to feminism. Pop psychology has taken a turn for the "boys have feelings and feminism is fucking them up", maybe it's not a coincidence.

[Anise]

"I see his 'manhood', therefore he *must* see my 'womanhood'" is only necessarily true for 69. ;)

[Guest Anonymous]

These people really think men as insecure babies.

[crassy]

For all their talk about how men are the natural leaders of families, governments, etc., fundie men certainly need a lot of things done for them in order to function at the most basic levels of society.

Can't see a woman's kneecaps without being consumed by thoughts of lust, can't maintain respect for his spouse without her constant affirmation of his strength and virility. My five year old cousin isn't this needy.

So true.

I just asked my headship if he sometimes forgets he's a man. He just gave me a weird look and walked away saying I was crazy. I followed him and lavished praise of his manliness and he told me that if I didn't stop he would be shipping me off to the looney bin.

I think I am doing it wrong.

[OkToBeTakei]

I think it just proves what is probably known anyway. These patriarchal, fundie types have a real lack of confidence about their manliness in the first place. Thus they need to be told this and supported in this by their enablers (wives/helpmeets.)

Generally in my experience confident, intelligent men do not seek this type of ego stroking, they are comfortable with their manliness and act like normal human beings ie. Not seeing women as weaker to make themselves feel better.

Either that or all fundie men have small Penis. This I'm quite convicted of :D

(Doug Philips is a small tool)

[RosyDaisy]

Generally in my experience confident, intelligent men do not seek this type of ego stroking, they are comfortable with their manliness and act like normal human beings ie. Not seeing women as weaker to make themselves feel better.

QFT :clap:

[Sola]

My husband doesn't have such a fragile ego that he needs complimenting every two minutes on the size of his penis. I'm pretty sure that as a result, he has never forgotten that I have a vagina either.

If he did happen to forget he is a man, I don't mind sharing my frilly knickers with him. After all what's mine is his and what's his is mine and what have you.

[notsocommon]

So, calling my husband 'a big, giant cream puff of a sucker' because he immediately took in the little grey poof that showed up on our door step is bad?

[fundiefan]

Men of the fundie world are apparently insecure little boys with identity problems who need women to validate them and give them their manhood.

The Fascinating Womanhood / Girlhood crap is just that, crap. It is mostly about manipulation.

[mypsychoticself]

So, calling my husband 'a big, giant cream puff of a sucker' because he immediately took in the little grey poof that showed up on our door step is bad?

That depends, can we see a picture of the little grey poof? Because that sounds super adorable.

[notsocommon]

Who could resist?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/robinmichelle/8131066122/

[Sola]

I think you're supposed to say "so manly, so manly" and then swoon.

If I said that to my husband he would think I was taking the piss.

[Hane]

Feh. I spent the entire fourteen years of our marriage ego-stroking and encouraging Ex-Mr.-Hane-#2. It did nothing to discourage his essential douchery, so I finally got the brains to kick him to the curb.

[Sola]

My comment will never see the light of day.

I keep hearing this all over the internet on Christian marriage sites, or perhaps I should say on certain Christian marriage sites. It puzzles me; is your husband’s ego so fragile that he has to be constantly reminded of the fact that he is a man? If that is the case then how can a man with such a fragile ego be a leader?

I’ve been married to a wonderful man for over twenty years. He, by his own admission doesn’t need me to keep telling him how manly he is. In fact if he did he would think that I was being facetious.

[OkToBeTakei]

My comment will never see the light of day.

LOVE IT!

[Cannelle]

If I constantly reminded my husband of his male-ness, I'm pretty sure he would look at me funny and head off to the computer to start looking for places to get me some long-term residential help.