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Food that should never come from a can?


OkToBeTakei

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Loool, nice. I think only Smuggars would be that salty though. ;)

My kids like spam. I'm seriously thinking of locking my door at night. :?

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In the south, you can buy pig's feet in a pink goo. Hand to heaven that is true. It comes in a jar. I used to see it more when I was a kid than I see it now.

Pigs_Feet.jpg

Oh, yeah. Forgot about that one. I've only had pigs feet that were not previously canned. I dont think they'd improve much after being in it, either.

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In Scotland I bought a canned haggis to bring home for my family to try. The can advertised it as a "skin in a tin" even though I bought the vegetarian version. I thought it would be less gross. We never worked up the nerve, so now it sat out on display as a conversation piece until my parents remodeled the kitchen.

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mmm some nice fish assholes...

fish-assholes.jpg

I am actually surprised The Duggars and Bates don't enjoy Possum and Raccoon ;-)

canned-food-9.jpg

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In Scotland I bought a canned haggis to bring home for my family to try. The can advertised it as a "skin in a tin" even though I bought the vegetarian version. I thought it would be less gross. We never worked up the nerve, so now it sat out on display as a conversation piece until my parents remodeled the kitchen.

This thread is making me roll about in lulz :)

I had a canned haggis I used to show to my foreign students. They were terrified and wouldn't touch it.

Also the pig's feet in goo? You can get it down the road but it's labeled in Chinese. It has a wee label in English underneath it which says "A pigs foot, £5" I eat a lot of Asian food but that one scares me.

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My kids like spam. I'm seriously thinking of locking my door at night. :?

Who tasted human flesh to figure that out!? :shock:

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I've heard Pork is the closest taste to human flesh, now I have no idea where that came from, and for sure I would like to know who tasted all these things to know! :lol:

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"Crescent rolls" is a name brand for Pillsbury's croissants.

*if* I had had some of those once (say last Friday), I would have probably sprinkled the insides with mini marshmallows and choc. chips, folded it up and baked it. It would have made a pretty good fall dessert too. But that's *if* :whistle:

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Hey, don't knock Pillsbury Grands biscuits! Best "bread in a can" ever!

Of course, this is coming from someone who likes canned corned beef hash, canned soup and Spaghetti O's with meatballs ... :oops:

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I'm ashamed to admit that I love Pillsbury cinnamin rolls in a can :o

The alleged crescent rolls with chocolate and marshmallows, if they existed, allegedly, sounds kinda good too.

Meat in a can of any kind: FUCK NO.

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Asparagus. It's not even really asparagus anymore when it comes from a can--it's a slimy green glob of goo. *shudder* I still have nightmares about the one time it was served to me from a can.

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There is a good use for crescent (the only way that they resemble croissants are the shape) rolls in a tin - the base for veggie pizza. Yum.

I would also argue you can put them to good use by rolling up a few chocolate chips in each and baking them until they get nice and crispy. Sort of a trashy version of a chocolate croissant.

Use dark chocolate chips when you want to feel really fancy.

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I'll admit to occasionally making the crescents in a can. Nutritionally, they are a disaster, but they do taste good.

My current method of cheating with home-baked bread is to buy frozen, unbaked challah loaves. I take them out of the freezer Friday morning, brush them with some egg when I get home and bake them. 5 min of effort, and I get an awesome smell and delicious still-warm bread that we all crave.

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I'm both a starving student and a terrible food snob. My pantry has tons of cans of tuna and cans of beans, for when I am too lazy and disorganized to rehydrate dried beans for cooking. Baking is one of my hobbies, so I haven't bought dough in a can for quite a while, but I don't remember Pillsbury puff pastry tasting that bad. I wouldn't eat canned chicken or spam, I don't like any canned or frozen veggies, and really don't like most canned soups. I feel I'm at the limit of the snobbiness I can afford, since our grocery bills are still higher than I'd like, though it's safe to say we won't be eating dough out of a can covered in canned soup and canned chicken and velveeta anytime soon (yuck!).

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In the south, you can buy pig's feet in a pink goo. Hand to heaven that is true. It comes in a jar. I used to see it more when I was a kid than I see it now.

Pigs_Feet.jpg

Oh yes! A lot of mom-and-pop type convenience stores have these in large jars by the cash register, so you can just take one out and buy it by the...er...foot. Like a barrel of pickles, only not.

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I should never have opened this thread. I knew before I even opened it that I was going to be confronted with several forms of meat in a can. *runs out screaming*

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As a European who tried pastries in a can, it's not totally terrible. I find the cookies WAY too sweet (my teeth hurt just thinking about it). The pizza dough is meh.

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I generally avoid meat in a can (although I can handle tuna, occasionally), the thoughts of a whole chicken in a can really turns my stomach.

I've had a whole chicken in a can. It's mostly just broth and bones. A whole lot of bones. Very little meat in a HUGE can. I tried that about 7 years ago when it was on sale. I learned my lesson.

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I once tried the crescent rolls in a tube (had a coupon). Info for anyone who's never had them -- it's not really a can, but a cardboard tube that pops open. To me, they had a non-food taste -- like a metallic or plastic-y flavor -- hard to describe.

I will eat canned tuna, but I generally get it in pouches instead. Pretty much the only thing my can opener gets to open is pumpkin for the dog (I mix it with other goodies, stuff Kongs or other hollow rubber toys with it, and freeze it).

And, speaking of dogs and canned food, here is some humor for you. It used to go around online -- I can't find a link anymore, but found the full text and saved it.

For the uninitiated, raw green tripe is part of a ruminant's digestive system, with the animal's last meal still in there! Fresh-ground, it smells a bit like a barn, but I found it not too offensive. Lots of people feed it to dogs.

So, although not intended for human food, it may be the ultimate "this should not be canned" substance.

Spoiler used in case anyone doesn't even want to glance at this story by accident (it is funny, though):

GREEN TRIPE You know, I used to think I was tough. That I could handle just about anything! After all, I LAUGHED at fresh Green Tripe! I mean, I thought, there was nothing wrong with it, why even our own Ms. Debra,let me dig my hands in some fresh Green Tripe, to feed her crew.

So it was with much joy when I discovered that one could BUY Fresh Green Tripe, in a CAN! How novel, I thought! No more mess, no more fuss, just open a can, and feed Green Tripe on demand.

Of course I ordered from this company immediately! And not just one or two cans, but a case! Mind, you, I'm no simpleton! After all, It's Fresh Green Tripe. In a CAN!

So today, that Santa Clause of the mail system UPS came to my door and delivered a LARGE brown box. With a satisfied "Ahh Haaa!!!" I hoisted my prize high over my head and carried it inside, Max following along,sniffing at the box, nub wagging. After all, he knew it was for him!

"What's in the box??" my 13 yr. old son asked.

"Fresh GREEN tripe! In a can!" I stated emphatically. "A case of it!"What a smart consumer I was indeed! ('oooh. Ooohh! Tim Allen grunt!)

Finally the moment I had waited for, came, later in the evening. Max'sdinner time. We put the normal raw beef heart, some veggies, Hokamix,flaxseed meal, and a wee bit of kibble in his dish, but the crowning moment was about to happen.

As I looked longingly at the can, it felt almost like a solemn occasion."Now you will see some good stuff!" I smiled as I positioned the can into the electric can opener. Clink, Chink Whhhhrrrrrrrr!! Went the can opener. For a brief moment in time, it felt as though time itself had stopped, so intent were we to see this wondrous marvel of modern science. Green Tripe in a can, why it was almost as if we were discovering the lost Ark of the Covenant. Dog, Child and myself were held in awe. With a final CHINK! The can lid was released… And then I smelled something.

"What isTHAT?!?!" My son exclaimed. One of our cats who had been sitting by the kitchen door, quickly sidled out. She was smart.

"Green Tripe, in a can…" I tried to sound parental and authoritative,but I could feel the first churning of my stomach.

The dogs eyes were on me intently, like two laser beams.

With a daring poke, I took off the lid to the can. And then it hit us."Oh Geeeshhhh!!!!" and then my normally angelic son, cursed for the first time, in my presence "What the amp;%@ is that *@#*???!!!"

And with that he ran away.

AT that point a smell hit me, so foul, so putrefied and grotesque, that bathing in fresh skunk spray would have been a pleasure. A smell so rancid, that it made a raw sewage plant in a hot southern sun, smell,nice.

I felt my insides roil dangerously.

Max now had two long lines of drool that hung from his mouth, and with a sickening slurp! He licked his lips, willing me to give him what was in that can.

"Your sick" I said to him through clenched teeth. I had to clench them or else I knew my dinner would be revisiting at that very moment.

This Green Tripe in a can was nothing like the fresh tripe I had dealt with. No, this stuff was insidious, vile, and deadly. The US Military should use it as a biological weapon. I could see squadrons of men falling before this stuff.

I held the can at arms length like radioactive plutonium and gingerly waggled it over the dog's dish, aiming for his food bowl. Sluuuurrrrk!!! It made a sickening noise as it slid out of the can. By now my vision was clouded, and I could have sworn I saw GREEN vapors leaking out of the can, like some mad scientists experiment gone wrong.

I thrust the dogs dish down, and he immediately threw himself into eating it, like a starving man at a banquet.

"Aaaaaaaacck!" was all I managed to say, as I WILLED myself not to hurl my cookies. "Steve! Help me! Find the plastic lid cover!" I cried plaintively to my son.

"Nuh uh!" he screamed from somewhere deep in the house, "That stuff REEKS!"

Now it was my turn to come up with colorful expletives as I dug up a plastic lid cover to try and hide the horrible bomb that had been unleashed in the house. I just KNEW that the smell would be forever imbedded in my walls, my furniture, my cats fur, and thanks to the central AC, the putrefying fragrance was being spread to all corners of the house.

Finally in disgust I managed to cover the can and thrust it into the refrigerator. The dog had finished his dinner, and stood looking at me, as though hoping for more. I knew I would be sterilizing the dogs dish, and probably his mouth with hot water. Heck I may just throw them both in an autoclave.

If a Hurricane hit my house now, it would not have been a bad time. It may even clear the air. I realized now why they called it GREEN tripe,it was. And it was in a can. And it was deadly.

5 hours later, the smell STILL lingers around, in cruel little whiffs.But hey, who am I to complain, I was smart, right? After all, I only have 11 and ½ cans to go, of Green Tripe in a CAN!

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There is a good use for crescent (the only way that they resemble croissants are the shape) rolls in a tin - the base for veggie pizza. Yum.

Another good use is is to wrap them around mini hot dogs (all beef, please). Yummy pigs in blankets. Pigs in blankets is the only way I eat crescent rolls.

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In Israel, my morbid curiosity lead to me buying a can of vegetarian cholent (a stew of beans, barley, and root vegetables typically cooked overnight for Shabbat lunch the next day). No slow-cooked goodness, no love--everything was wrong with it.

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