Sister Wives

[Austin]

I also think they should live in the Lehi house (with additions for Robyn's family) or purchase land and build another plyg house. Personally, I think TLC is exploring/exploiting the fact that Browns live a lifestyle that devalues Meri because of her infertility through this ridiculous, never ending house discussion. As a childless woman, I do not think I "deserve" less of a house because of my childless status. I don't think women who have many children "deserve" more of a house because of their large brood. I don't even think "deserve" is the correct term to use here. But, I do think that the head of a family with four wives has a responsibility to treat each woman equally, which can really only be resolved through sharing one home.

I think everyone deserves to have their individual needs met. Having three empty bedrooms is not a "need". I don't see a more size-appropriate house for Meri as disrespectful to her and certainly not a punishment.

For instance, in my company, some people work in cubicles and some have offices, depending upon our needs. I do client training and support so I am on the phone a great deal, and thus need an office so as not to disturb everyone else. Engineers and programmers work in cubicles because they have no need for four walls and a door. I am not more important than they, and they are not being punished. In fact, a couple of them probably make more money than I do. I think the concept of Meri "deserving" the same size home as the other women who actually need more room is ridiculous.

And again, I think any of these women buying McMansions is stupid and I think one should stay home and look after the young children and the other three should get off their asses and get jobs and maybe they could work their way out of debt and be able to purchase typical homes without hardship.

[emmiedahl]

What I would do if I were them would be to buy two older homes, the type with a lot of rooms/nooks/crannies like a Victorian or a Craftsman. Put a stay at a home mom (Robin or Christine) in each and a working mom (Meri or Janelle) in each. They can put a lot of small children in each bedroom to allow more rooms for the teens. The SAHMs could even do home businesses or retail jobs in the evenings when the primary worker is home.

Sure, it would be more fair for each wife to have the same value of house but that cannot happen here without compromising the entire family. Before his obligation to his spouses, Kody and all four wives have an obligation to their children. I don't think Meri would rather have a 5 bedroom home that gets foreclosed than a 2 bedroom apartment she can keep.

And ffs, why are they still bringing children into this mess?

[BlondeAgent007]

What I would do if I were them would be to buy two older homes, the type with a lot of rooms/nooks/crannies like a Victorian or a Craftsman. Put a stay at a home mom (Robin or Christine) in each and a working mom (Meri or Janelle) in each. They can put a lot of small children in each bedroom to allow more rooms for the teens. The SAHMs could even do home businesses or retail jobs in the evenings when the primary worker is home.

Sure, it would be more fair for each wife to have the same value of house but that cannot happen here without compromising the entire family. Before his obligation to his spouses, Kody and all four wives have an obligation to their children. I don't think Meri would rather have a 5 bedroom home that gets foreclosed than a 2 bedroom apartment she can keep.

And ffs, why are they still bringing children into this mess?

thats a nice thought and a good idea if they didnt live in vegas. everything there is relatively new.

[Justme]

I wonder how they divide their money for food and household expenses? Do the families with 6 kids get the same as Meri with 1? So Meri can eat steak while Janelle gets hamburger? Meri wears designer clothes while Janelle shops at Goodwill?

[NotALoserLikeYou]

I wonder how they divide their money for food and household expenses? Do the families with 6 kids get the same as Meri with 1? So Meri can eat steak while Janelle gets hamburger? Meri wears designer clothes while Janelle shops at Goodwill?

Yes, they mentioned this before, that the money is divided equally amongst the wives, no matter how many children they have. Jenelle was saying that they would get the same amount of money, she would have to use all of hers to feed her 6 or 7 kids, and then Meri always had money leftover to buy things, and that that made her feel slighted. I would feel slighted too. There should at least be a food budget per person. If my 6 kids had to go without so that one wife and her one child could have the same amount of resources, I would be pissed (especially since Janelle was bringing IN a lot of the money. No wonder she is pissed).

[Paisy]

I think Meri is selfish for demanding she receive an "equal" share because it's obviously not actually equal with her having only one child to feed and clothe. I know the sting of infertility, I know how crushing that is. But that doesn't mean you must turn into a selfish twat. Shame on her!

[slp]

Why can't Meri and Robin share a house? Then Meri could be the 'nanny' to Sol and Robin's other kids while Robin 'works'

[Paisy]

I can totally get Meri (and the other wives) each wanting their own "space." I just have issue with Meri expecting as much space for her two people as those with seven.

[wildcatgrrl]

Also, they are very big on the family unit as a whole. If only 3 wives had been approved for financing, they wouldn't have bought any houses. Each of the wives is Mom to all the kids. And so on. So when Meri asks for far more room than she needs, regardless of reason, she's impacting the whole family unit. It's just that much more the family has to pay for. Just because she was approved for X McMansion dollars doesn't mean she HAS to spend it all. And she looks that much worse when Jenelle is shown actively looking for ways to cut costs on her home and help the family.

I realize her lack of children, as compared to the other wives, isn't her fault, but she already has a leg up on the other wives because SHE is the only legal one. Robin even seemed more sensible than Meri, as she was worried about being the one who would ruin the family's cul-de-sac dream because of her bad credit. Well, that could've ruined it in the short term (financing being turned down), but doesn't Meri see that her demands for far more house than she needs can ruin the dream in the long run? Higher home cost=higher mortgage payments and TLC won't be around forever.

[mkitten]

Yes, they mentioned this before, that the money is divided equally amongst the wives, no matter how many children they have. Jenelle was saying that they would get the same amount of money, she would have to use all of hers to feed her 6 or 7 kids, and then Meri always had money leftover to buy things, and that that made her feel slighted. I would feel slighted too. There should at least be a food budget per person. If my 6 kids had to go without so that one wife and her one child could have the same amount of resources, I would be pissed (especially since Janelle was bringing IN a lot of the money. No wonder she is pissed).

Wow.... I missed that! One would think that it would be more efficient and equitable to allocate funds and square footage on a per person basis. (With Kody out of the square footage calculations, because he floats...)

[pomology]

The adult in this family are so fucking dysfunctional that even for "liberal" polygamists, they don't make polygamy look good to anyone.

But I kind of love their kids. Or maybe I just love that their kids are normal and they haven't completely fucked them up. And if any of those kids wanted out, they could get out because they are educated, know people outside their faith, and have, in general, are not brainwashed zombies like, say, the Duggars or the Bateses.

[Justme]

Wow.... I missed that! One would think that it would be more efficient and equitable to allocate funds and square footage on a per person basis. (With Kody out of the square footage calculations, because he floats...)

Well, I wonder how Meri would feel if the "shoe" was flipped a bit. They should all go out and eat 2-3 times per week and split the bill an even 4 ways. :think:

[Ex 2x2]

They really pissed me off making a big shenanigan of the parent/teacher conferences. As a teacher, I can tell you that those things are spaced closely together, and there is no time to waste on, "Hey, look at my wives, we are polygamists!" And seriously, Robyn needed to be at the teen's conferences? She barely knows those kids! Can you imagine the inconvenience to the teachers of cameras and crew setting up at the school?

I think I can understand Meri. I am also infertile. I have kids who we adopted. At one point, I would've done anything to have a baby. It never worked out. My kids aren't as old as Mariah, but they are old enough that while I desperately wanted to be pg for years, right now it would no longer be a clear cut decision. In some ways I'd love to have a baby, but given the chance *now,* with the ages of my kids, I wouldn't do it. I'm too close to having freedom and time to myself, and I don't want to be tied down for another 18 years. I think that is exactly what Meri feels. She knows that she doesn't want to do this. But she doesn't want to give up the "poor infertile me" card. That ship has sailed. Infertility is HELL. I know that first hand. But it's time for the pity party to end. I know that sounds harsh, but being in the same boat, I feel like I can be. I would make myself and everyone around me miserable if I chose to still feel sorry for myself. Now back when we were going through treatment, I had lots of pity parties, and they were quite well deserved. But at some point, you have to choose to let go. Or you become a bitter person. And I think Meri is.

[patsymae]

"And seriously, Robyn needed to be at the teen's conferences? She barely knows those kids!"

And cares about them so much that she missed the first high school graduation.

If I were Janelle, I would be pissed, too. She made most of the money and said that she worried about her kids eating while Meri indulged her love of nice things. Meri just sat there doing a pitiful look (one of my -year-old granddaughters is working on perfecting that one, so I recognize it). I don't understand Janelle. She must have had some giant epiphany to still be committed to this "religion" that she wasn't born into, and all the jerks that go along with it.

At this point, the only one I feel sorry for is Christine--she was born into this and really doesn't know anything else. At first I liked Meri but now she makes my skin crawl. Janelle has a good head on her shoulders and raises her kids really well, but she seems stuck in her "doing this to get closer to God," unless there's another agenda she just isn't talking about. And Robin I think was always just looking for a meal ticket and someone else to take over her kids because she's a twit who can't tie her own shoes without help. I don't know, I just like Christine (so far). And she is treated very, very badly by most of that crew--starting at least when JO was courting peabrain while she was delivering her baby.

I don't know where the money is coming from. The jewelry is ugly and overpriced, and they don't know anything about designing or manufacturing jewelry--they had to hire an actual designer to make their "concept" feasible. Of all the older kids, I think Mariah is the only one that will stick around--and yes, I do give them credit for assuming their kids will get an education and independent homes.

And I agree, they could have saved a bundle and preserved their family by building one large or two duplex homes and maybe buying one other lot for play space. And nobody ever died from sharing a bedroom with a brother and sister.

I, too, wondered about the "wet bar." This was the deal breaker for Meri? They don't even drink, and you can keep soda and juice in the fridge.

[Coconut Flan]

Well, I wonder how Meri would feel if the "shoe" was flipped a bit. They should all go out and eat 2-3 times per week and split the bill an even 4 ways.

I like that idea.

I think rather than divide the pie into quarters, there should be a base allowance to each of the women and then additional funds per child. Sure, Meri will object, but it would help to make sure the children are treated equitably. I'm much more concerned about fair treatment for them than the women who dragged children into this mess.

[Austin]

I agree that Meri doesn't really want another baby at this point in her life, but also doesn't want to give up her poor-pitiful-me card that she's milking for all it's worth.

Many, many women suffer from secondary infertility. We did after our first child for no apparent reason (this was later remedied with fertility drugs). But if I had, say, dreamed of having 5 kids and only was able to have the one child, how much sense would it make for my husband and me to go into debt for a McMansion based on something that never happened? That would be seriously delusional. Sensible people don't make huge life decisions based on what could have been but never came to fruition.

And ughhh, whoever said Meri makes their skin crawl, I couldn't agree more.

[BlondeAgent007]

I'm trying to find links on google that would reference how they claim to split their income, but nothing seems to come up. I think somewhere else it was mentioned by someone that meri got half the grocery budget as jenelle and christine.

[wendy-sparkles]

I like that idea.

I think rather than divide the pie into quarters, there should be a base allowance to each of the women and then additional funds per child. Sure, Meri will object, but it would help to make sure the children are treated equitably. I'm much more concerned about fair treatment for them than the women who dragged children into this mess.

Yeah, that's what I think they should do too - split a share of the money evenly between the women, but have an additional amount per child. Like, give Meri the same size living room or whatever, but then three beds MAX. Kody's a dick if he's let some of his children go without in the name of "equality".

Couldn't a wet bar be installed separately? Surely the cost of a whole extra bedroom that is never ever going to be used is way beyond a little extra for small custom renovation.

[Luvchild]

Seriously, this whole "divide the money up equally between the four wives" is crap. Meri's kid gets anything she wants, because it's just her in her house with her mom, and Meri lives live like a lady of luxury. Kody thinks it's the only fair thing to do is divide the money equally between the four wives. But he never mentions the kids. Ever. It's not fair to them. It is not. The money divided the way they do is not proportionate to the family household size. Kody is an a$$ and Meri is queen bee. It's sad. I feel bad for Christine and Janelle. They need to leave and get child support from Kody. Do a show on that TLC. I want to watch that. They are already acting as single parents anyway.

[bionicmlle]

If I was Meri, I'd hem and haw about having another kid, too! I loves me a pedicure! I'm actually rather surprised she doesn't get more shit about this -- wouldn't she be, like, a daughter of perdition or something for not having more babies if they were more FLDS?

[dawniecakes]

WHY CAN'T THESE WOMEN GET 4 TOWNHOUSES TOGETHER!??!? Separate houses, but together... seriously, does Vegas not have any townhomes?

[rock_girl]

I don't see why they need four separate houses. They're not living a lifestyle that allows for much in the way of material luxuries (but loooooooove is free, as evidenced by their prolific spawning) and it's a lifestyle which they all chose. They should just buy a patch of land and live in a few rusted out old caravans. Maybe upgrade to a shanty if there's some spare cash.

[ChunkyBarbie]

I can understand Meri's indecision to finally have a second baby via Robyn. It took me 13 years to get pregnant and it was just a happy surprise when I finally did, so I totally understand her frustration regarding infertility. I can also imagine that she doesn't want to be beholden to the new "young hot" wife for that baby. What I can't understand is Meri taking the same amount of money as her sister wives with just herself and one child to feed, while they struggled to feed their multiple children. If this is indeed true, it really shows how selfish and shallow Meri is as a sister wife and person. I can't imagine letting someone struggle to feed their kids, so I can buy crap or feel "equal."

Hope this makes sense, no coffee this morning and little sleep last night.

Eta

The four houses is just a special kind of financial stupid. Don't even get me started about the wet bar. WTF?

[Jinderella]

Seriously, this whole "divide the money up equally between the four wives" is crap. Meri's kid gets anything she wants, because it's just her in her house with her mom, and Meri lives live like a lady of luxury. Kody thinks it's the only fair thing to do is divide the money equally between the four wives. But he never mentions the kids. Ever. It's not fair to them. It is not. The money divided the way they do is not proportionate to the family household size. Kody is an a$$ and Meri is queen bee. It's sad. I feel bad for Christine and Janelle. They need to leave and get child support from Kody. Do a show on that TLC. I want to watch that. They are already acting as single parents anyway.

Do Mariah and the other teenagers get along fine? I can imagine there is some resentment toward Mariah for being spoiled, while they have to watch their mothers work very hard to make do?

[redhotmess]

I enjoy this show. I do feel bad for Meri. In one show she said she was not ready for an empty nest but not sure if she wanted to start all over. My daughter is 18 and I am 39. She was my only pregnancy ever. I have the same feelings though.

After this last episode though I do think Meri is being weirdly selfish. I really hope it is TLC portraying her as this selfish person and hopefully she is really not so self centered. It almost like a jealousy issue with Janelle.