Razing Ruth Hangs it Up

[fakepigtails73]

Wish you well Ruth, and I hope you'll become a regular here at FJ.

Yikes! That's so creepy re: Rachel's bethrotal...My abuse meter pings all of the sudden.

[sassycupcake]

Thank you for sharing your story, Ruth. And thank you for ultimately sharing about your epiphany at "not being the ex-ATI girl anymore." As an ex-IFB girl who left about the same time you did, reading your story really helped me with losing my family and my faith. (And it was an excellent reminder that you had it way harder, but still managed to stay much stronger than I did!)

Anyway, I wish you nothing but the best. And please do stay around FJ, because I love you for who you are, not for what you were raised in.

[Bookworm]

I'm so glad you have come so far, Ruth! I remember when your blog first started and you've come through so much and are doing better all the time. Hope you still hang out here every now and then.

[hoipolloi]

Thanks for stopping by, Ruth - hope to hear from you as you have time to post.

[Buggaboo]

I'm really glad that Ruth no longer sees herself as "that ex ati girl" and I wish her all the best in life. I admit, I'll be curious about where her life goes from here, but I understand and respect her need to stop blogging.

One thing that has been bothering me is the update on Rachel:

This man is obviously fundy so I think it would take something big for his wife to have left him. I just worry that he is abusive.

My mind went there too. I just hope she's ok.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ive just read the entire blog over the past few days. Ruth, you are a very brave woman. I hope one day, Rachel gets out of there and sees the truth, I really hope this guy isnt abusive.

[razingruth]

Ive just read the entire blog over the past few days. Ruth, you are a very brave woman. I hope one day, Rachel gets out of there and sees the truth, I really hope this guy isnt abusive.

I don't know current specifics about the guy. I knew him when I was a child and knew the family pretty well since my first fiance was his older brother. He's from a large, ATI family. His first wife was, from what I've been told, extremely dissatisfied with homeschooling, having more kids, and with being a SAHM (for her two kids). I don't know that there was any physical abuse. From what I've heard, she just didn't want to live ATI and this guy wouldn't compromise the QF part of his faith. Now, how he reconciles A DIVORCE as "preferable" to birth control or family planning is beyond me. I would think a divorce would be worse than letting your wife use b/c and work, but we ARE talking about ATI. :?

Rachel *did* like him at one point (in that puppy love sort of way). But, he was betrothed to the first wife. My big concern is that he's five or six years older than she and has already been married. I also worry that they both accepted the betrothal out of a "we're damaged goods" emotional place. That can't be a great way to start a marriage.

[boysmom]

He sounds very young if he's only 5 or 6 years older than her. And he'll have financial obligations to those kids. Sounds like a recipe for financial problems to me. I hope she's happy, but it does seem iffy. It seems like a bad choice on his part really if he wants to stay ATI and she's shown once that she really wants to be out. She might very well leave and take the kids herself in a few years. :(

[FeministShrew]

I don't know current specifics about the guy. I knew him when I was a child and knew the family pretty well since my first fiance was his older brother. He's from a large, ATI family. His first wife was, from what I've been told, extremely dissatisfied with homeschooling, having more kids, and with being a SAHM (for her two kids). I don't know that there was any physical abuse. From what I've heard, she just didn't want to live ATI and this guy wouldn't compromise the QF part of his faith. Now, how he reconciles A DIVORCE as "preferable" to birth control or family planning is beyond me. I would think a divorce would be worse than letting your wife use b/c and work, but we ARE talking about ATI. :?

Rachel *did* like him at one point (in that puppy love sort of way). But, he was betrothed to the first wife. My big concern is that he's five or six years older than she and has already been married. I also worry that they both accepted the betrothal out of a "we're damaged goods" emotional place. That can't be a great way to start a marriage.

Sounds like my first husband. He felt guilty & sinful for being divorced, but decided I was even more guilty & sinful for marrying a divorced man. :roll: I hope everything works out ok for her.

[Rosa]

Ruth! I'm so glad you dropped by. And that you're doing okay. I hope you do every once in a while because I always wonder what you're doing.

You are absolutely right that they can't define you. How freeing and lovely!